Podcast #240 - Shark Tank 2May 31, 2021
live i don't want to get in trouble for saying something offensive but just think of the most offensive thing you can think of and that's where we'll be close ok so if i buy offensive yeah and put it in yeah don't you do you think? would violate several, would violate our similar community, like if they write a petition or write to the city or something that they don't want in their community anymore, okay, noted so there's this new attachment that we're going to sell at the top of the fences is a glossy coating that's ok it doesn't look like anything during the day but if you were to take a picture the flash allows the coating to become a reflective surface so no pictures can be taken therefore there will be no evidence of your offense and people cannot report you to the authorities.
I like the idea because I know that people really hate their neighbors. I am not one of those people. This is not a problem for me to solve. Personally, I am very, very good friends with all my neighbors. they often bring me fresh fruits and vegetables from their garden, they are just the most wonderful. I couldn't imagine having anything less than that as a neighbor so if you have a shitty neighbor who really sucks I can't relate at all but buy my product. I think there is definitely a market for your product and that some people would really enjoy it mm-hmm how much will we charge per square inch where is yes square inch square is two cents an inch in two cents that's so cheap you got two cents out there is an inch whole yard space you just covered with offensive language ok that's a good price a terrible thing yeah you know it's not for me but i think it's for somebody and i might have it and have a really good time before they pulled it you know ok so i'll go ahead and invest what kind of investment i'd love i'd love for you to invest in 10% of the company mm-hmm payout isn't necessary everything i what All you have to do is show up in court if they ever take us to court.
I can't be the one who hired me to strike, so you don't have to pay me, you only get 10% if you're willing to. take the hit you know I believe in people's free speech and sometimes it hurts me you know when someone just wants to plant a tree somewhere or build a fence or something and their commute or paint their house a certain color and their communities of course you ruin the neighborhood yeah i think people should be able to have e offensive if they want mm-hmm hit them yes offensive we have we have a deal oh it's good to be nice to you I only communicate on whatsapp ok ok so don't text me and there can't be anything like deeply racist or anything in there just profanity.
I'm not the one who writes it. I have a really terrible person for a friend. a deal i'll talk to him see what we can do and yeah ok deal then ok i made a deal on my second inventions you're doing good this round hey
sharks the music ain't over hey , hello, hello,
sharks, do you hear that? you hear those idiots you hear those barking I think that's the sound of your dog I think they're very hungry my name is Julian and I'm here to talk about a new invention for you and your dogs ever cook marinara pasta and accidentally spilled some on it floor, yelling, splat, it's a big mess on your floor, luckily if you have a dog they will come. you lick it and you say im so thankful for my dog they are almost a Swiffer mm-hmm and then you say oh no it had garlic and onions they might get sick and poop and then you have a stress moment and you freak out and I hope they dont get sick , but you're also glad they cleaned it up because even though it's going to make them sick like it's not fun anymore I mean it's a good thing too this is something I deal with a lot because literally like five days a week I make pasta marinara it's like I the main thing that I don't eat you oh I'm sorry I eat pasta marinara five days a week at least that's a lot yes I like it a lot it's ok we're not here to talk about my eating habits well don't worry anymore because now, when you feel like recklessly cooking some marinara pasta five out of seven nights a week and the Marina spills some on the floor so your dog can clean it up. it will be safe for dogs featuring M bark and Aris ah its exactly the same as marinara only without patented gar lic and onion we have patented our recipe no one else can take the onion and garlic out of the recipe because now its ours now you can spill the greatest amount of aneri barking on the floor your dog is going to lick it and it will have so many simply nutritional improvements your body will thank you for it they will be satiated you also have this plastic that we put on it that prevents it from reaching a certain temperature so yes you are eating plastic is ok but bear with me the plastic keeps it from getting too hot so it will never burn your dog's mouth, he might eat plastic and so will you if he actually eats this.
I have been eating Barkin's air for three months now and apart from a few kidney stones I have not noticed any change. on my body Julianne yeah what what listen I really think your heart is in the right place with this product you're thinking your heart is on fire from all this bark and arrow sauce that's where I think your heart you are in the right place about thinking. about t your dog but essentially you're selling crushed tomatoes if it's not garlic or onion my crushed tomatoes don't have garlic and onion do you know the base of a marinara sauce which is garlic onion and tomatoes no it's tomato oregano but all of that is it's up to you ok dammit it's up to me you're selling me worse it comes in a tube it's ok it's more convenient for storage and travel may be all you have to do say it's fresh then it turns into chips no i want my dog to eat onions and garlic or plastic but onions and garlic we know are bad for them we don't know for sure plastic is bad for cleaning I'm pretty sure we know for sure send me a study where they fed plastic to dogs ok that's a terrible study you don't need to answer this exactly there are no studies Julian it's not ok show me a study where animals ate nuclear waste and decided that it was bad for them.
My agent will email you ok thanks so if it's doable if I had to take out the plastic you'd be fine ok then I've just crushed the tomatoes ok we have a secret recipe and I'd appreciate it if you didn't reveal the ingredients live on the internet because it could frustrate our entire company ok so what's the cost because the can of crushed tomatoes ain't that. expensive well we prefer bitcoin we will accept dollars US dollars I don't have a bitcoin so we will I'm not saying I mean if you have it ok we can talk do you know someone who is bitcoin? $14.99 Bitcoin no, there are no dollars, that's fine, but if you have Bitcoin, we can talk about a different situation.
I'm asking for 30 percent of the company. All you have to do is give me your dog. I need more dogs to test Julian, here I can solve your problem for you, okay, when you are cooking sauce, don't splash it all over the room, what about your poor dog who is hungry? They feed him food for your dog. I don't understand, it's okay, I'm outside, so nobody barks there, nobody barks there, I don't want to go in. to a grocery store and I look at the crushed tomatoes marinara sauce it was barkin there is nothing in the barkan era that makes me want to buy pivot we are doing a restaurant for dogs it is called barkin air it is an italian restaurant for dogs only ok i am listening no garlic and onion anything its all a real authentic italian dish cooked by dogs in the kitchens and our main course is the canarian pasta bar ok honestly im depressed.
I think it might be a bit difficult to serve food where there are also animals. but the dog that the FDA can't get in because they are dogs that only eat uh-huh if you are a human eating there you are not protected so you can bring your own food as a person but all the food served there is only for dogs , yes it is not recommended to eat there if you are human because it is dirty and nothing is clean you might get sick ok but dogs also eat their own diarrhea cat poop and garbage ok.
I'm up for a restaurant peach where you go to a dog restaurant tell me about your business you just came up with so it's a good fast casual Italian restaurant authentic dog restaurant your optional optional how can it be if your dog prefers go through self-service? can be ok mainly a rest area hmm and what do you do if there is a dog fight no no absolutely not a problem we only serve well behaved dogs so if you are going to fight in our establishment you can come up boogy boogy barks out of here me I like the concept thank you I like the idea that it is authentic Italian even though it has no onion or garlic which makes it not authentic we have a scientist currently working on a garlic substitute ok what about a substitute onion do I know what the substitute is called garlic what a lick NARR i have to get out and go now bookings are not allowed how much are you asking me to invest can you post it on instagram once and then you have a deal thanks i am so excited to work with you once and never again.
You didn't even say it had to be positive. You got a deal. In agreement. I will be back next year for Gnarl. garlic ready good tone good pivot hello sharks y'all are so rich its your life too common boring because i feel like it probably is you have all the money you want it you dont have a problem really thats not true i know i know its alright huh Do you worry, stress or anxiety ever in your life? I know that's how some people are. voices and soundscapes that help you wake up and feel intense no drugs allowed we have a library of over 10 different shows that add a jolt to your day with ASM are you sure trending john cena narrated screaming escape that will be sure to rock you up later tonight while many suffer from stress and anxiety some don't either so if you need anything we got you $69 on the app store get it now before $69 goes down yeah that's 10+ shows , you can listen to ten shows how long are the shows one of which is john cena screaming for 13 minutes oh you can really use it yeah yeah yeah but hurry up and buy it because they might take it down I don't know how the app store works.
I like the idea of an app or something like that it's not like those anxiety relief apps it's the complete opposite it's also like shaking you up and waking you up and making sure you go thank you I don't know from experience. how much i would like to hear people yelling you haven't tried to put up with other chaotic noises especially considering my partner i live with is very chaotic sometimes it sounds like you're a cool guy doesn't always make me feel motivated makes me feel out of my mind , that's the goal, oh, okay yeah, they pay me to lower that price.
I don't think you want to pay $69 for an app. i didn't make money what are you asking for how much you're offering ok this doesn't work how much do you have are you around that's not other jobs I'm NOT Mayweather I don't have any cash stop pointing at my chest those pockets I can't see your pockets just empty your pockets okay this it's a steal this is a pineapple onesies give me your money oh you ain't got nothing um just give me a blank check and we'll talk later you don't need to downgrade the app to $0.99 or for $0.99 yeah well i need to break even in about thousand purchases of the price of $69 so 69 thousand dollars we are actually good now you can have No Deal you can have 70% of the deal from the company thanks also to the people of John Cena they have been calling me I don't know if you like to eat feeldog we don't shake it never mind ter we shake on tv well the opposite of that is calm and that's really good Wow okay and yeah if you ask yourself did Julian really write an in full sale in shark
tankpitch as a transition to a sponsor?
Well the answer would be yes and he's also a smart person to realize that because calm is a sponsor of the
podcastand it's the complete opposite of what I just sold here on Shark Tank that it's an app really great and i actually tried it and i love it it helps you with a lot of different things you may have problems with anxiety stress sleep if you have problems with sleep calm has got you covered its number number app one to sleep, can you stop touching me? a good nights sleep is like a magical remedy for the brain and body and sometimes it just slips away from you and i know it because it happens to me all the time calm down is a really great app if you have zero experience with meditation or anything Like that, they help you, it's guided, it's explained as you go along, and also it's not a one size fits all, go into the app and select what you need help with if you're stressed. you're anxious you struggle to sleep whatever and you select it and then they build a program basically for those needs and it's really cool and ifyou have headphones or air pods because all the kids are using them these days just put them on when you are doing some things around and throughout the day and you hear some comet it will really help you to be aware and today it is very hard to find that with all the distractions that are everywhere I know because I'm like super guilty of it all the time.
I'm not aware enough so check it out by going to calm calm CA LM calm/join and Julianne gets 25% off a calm premium subscription with that link and check it out let us know if you like it really think you guys are going to enjoy its a very powerful app too guys if you have a small business maybe you are an entrepreneur and congratulations if you are doing it there are a lot of things you need to do to stay out of trouble hmm with or running your business yeah or just doing the ok stuff as far as business taxes all that stuff but honey book is really great for that sort of thing if you need help with invoices tracking your finances brochures all sorts of different things you wouldn't even think of when it comes to running your own small business.
You're like I made a product. They buy it in the end. No, it's not the end. There are a lot of little things you need to think about. There is a honey book. to cover your butt when it comes to running your own business they help you with payment reminders, proposals, invoices, all the things that are necessary to run your own business, payment is flexible and also using our code which is the code Jenna Julian, you can get a 50% monthly discount. or yearly ally that's $20 per month or $200 for an entire year of organization which is 50% off your first purchase with Honey Book when you use promo code Jen and Jillian so there are plenty of deals here , I think if you are a business owner, a small business owner and you need help with this kind of thing, at least check it out.
I think it's really worth checking out the link in the description to get started there and also guys browse th is ki mmm comm slash gin and Julian sign his email subscribe you're done that's all you have to do it's completely free and then all what you get is this wonderful surprise inbox every morning with the main news and a format that is very easy to read and understand it is not opinions this and that is not nonsense it is very very concise easy and simple but important because it is what is happening in the world and skin helps educate you every day so you can dominate your conversations at work about current events and know more than other people to be better and it's free and it's completely free too when you go skim th is that IMM Tom Sloane and Julian you enter to win a $250 Visa gift card with which you can buy anything you want we won't tell Julian we won Don't tell me and then I won't tell because then I won't know. and we're back hello sharks hello you take a bath yes the baths are great they're not relaxing maybe put on some music light a candle oh wait music do you have to put a speaker in the bathroom that sounds really annoying and then what if do you want to be on your phone?
Then the speaker doesn't work because it's not close enough and it's just a nightmare. try them what do you mean? we think we think we don't know we think that's ok it's still there it's wireless earphones for use in the bathroom ok these are not quiet they are not sport earphones for swimming you can't take them to the depths of the ocean we haven't tested that , we only know that they work on bats, we have taken advantage of the green tooth. technology to ensure that the connection is not interrupted by water when you fully submerge and for everything that happened that day because you are probably very stressed and frustrated.
Unfortunately, they are the first headphones that work with green teeth, that means neither device works. with it, but it works completely underwater and keeps the connection as long as we've been looking for it, but you know it's only on Blackberry. Do you have a BlackBerry? The app only works on Blackberry, but no, no one has faulty phones. just like you said they actually work where they sell them for swimming yes i had no idea if they use green teeth no have you heard of green teeth? no it's great i don't want green teeth Julian come on no please no it's ok that's what I failed no it's ok it doesn't work do you want to see the logo we developed for green tea?
I don't have my email ok that's a big note from me but thanks for your insight and pitch back on the shark hey shay hey sharks I'm back I'm new never been here, welcome my name. it's Julian mm-hmm do you have a dog yes a lot of my inventions are about dogs if you have a dog do you take your dog for a walk if you do it on a leash like a normal well adjusted person yes oh that's good to know well sometimes leashes can be really boring, it's like nylon, it's one color, what's there to look at?
What are you going to be on your phone like everyone else? it's all the connection bond has between you and your pet when he's out in the world it's the physical umbilical cord that you and your pup oh my gosh you both cling to throughout the walk wouldn't it be great if you had generated random information while introducing ricky leash? His story has an electron LCD which is very long and thin and has small print but it generates random pages and Wikipedia pages for you to read and educate yourself along your walk ok honestly I'm down thank you so much , I was confused because you were yelling, you know that man, because sometimes you make things up that are just a pun, oh no. no that's not a pun what a wiki leash i don't get it ok i've never heard anything for sure i like it can't it be funny I have to charge it once during the walk every day how am I going to charge it for a while you chose me once a day that you are going to read wiki you did not just say yes it works on technology it is a very big battery it is long how long is it that I take something reasonable that no no one has ever asked me that having come this far it also has a blackberry app no no one needs to work on iphone and android ok what do you think i'm ok ok the iphone app is coming on next fall why do you need an app if I'm just reading it it's just text scrolling because the app is literally someone in our headquarters opening wiki and scrolling and that's what appears in your I don't want that I want you didn't want automated automated do you want a robot doing yes please oh no they are not robots yes i do ok ok leash is $51.99 yes i put one on the end i want it to be fifty one bucks because i like that number ok fri ne with a charger you also need a monthly internet plan which is five cents a month that's ok because we are doing the equivalent of diverting gas from another certain internet provider and we get free internet so basically we just need you to pay us to get an internet, yes, but there's no way to trace it back to your wik. i open the leash so the leash only works in a place where there is Wi-Fi no no it's cellular yeah we got the good stuff you know touch my leg like it's fair enough I won't like that that the benefit of having cellular data for five cents a month is that if I were to preload all the Wikipedia pages that could obviously change at any given time, I would be reading the old Wikipedia, yes, and I don't want to do that.
I want to read the new one with the current Wikipedia, the most up-to-date that we offer. a finite number of Wikipedia pages but infinite is the opposite of finite I looked it up that's awesome fifty one dollars and then five cents a month is a month if you could work so it doesn't load for a week if you have a deal what do you want three days? How much is charged during the three days? Well, just for the three day weekend. No, it has to be at least better than the Apple Watch. They only have internet on vacation. we have a deal how much do you want me to invest i would love it when someone takes 51% of the business.
I can not do anything. I need help. I don't want responsibilities. How much money do you need from me? any well read armor prototype is still ok you know what i retire it thanks for investing in my company welcome back i'm Julian Julian go figure i've reported ok i welcome you sharks welcome ok ok, welcome, thanks for welcoming me, yes. My name is Julian and I have an invention for you. It's okay, you look like the seventh person to have friends. charger or your external power bank because they're stupid and couldn't plan for simple days of phone battery before leaving home TMT ok yeah if I had to guess it's probably me but yeah keep going oh I need a different idiot I mean as I am I mean how can they be so bad at managing the power level of their phones and always trust you to save them time to teach them a lesson with me? virus next time your friend says can i use your monthly? you give it to them they plug it in they say hey he thinks this is really cool shows a fake number at the top of his screen they disconnect him virus dead battery me I'll teach them next time not to trust their Mophie to charge their phone out of the world.
Are they going to do it? It comes in sleek black and white with a beautiful glossy finish to make your friendship ending arguments look truly gorgeous. cost me spelled out MOF is a $29 price point virus is not included you must pay an extra two dollars for each virus why would you need multiple viruses? how much do you like this person? they also deserve it they earned it how much are you looking for me to invest it's empty mark an option now 400 rubles 400 rubles I don't have rubles we can convert it later I'm not going to tell you the conversion rate to dollars you can't just hold out your hand and wait a deal I'm not making a deal okay 500 no no rubles okay euros you're not alive we're in the US we're using US currency no where are you somewhere in the UK I don't know I'm lost how are you physically here?
I'm a hologram okay I'm a hologram on the set of shark
tankgive me your money no I'm a cable pirate this is a scam thanks for coming You're welcome, I'm out, okay, I think that's it, I think that's all I had today, okay. All of a sudden one called cage ok it's instead of an out of office email you auto reply it's just a randomly generated vid yeah i invest in them yeah ok they're ok deal , how much good idk it's an undeveloped idea it could get you fired i want to say this nk about it i want vacation vid so it's random ok so if someone says hi jenna i hope you're ok i just want to say i love you i hope you have a great vacation your answer might be my dick fell off and they might not thats cool i love knut shes funny i cant wait ok deal vacation vacation good partners thank you very good vacation we hooked up ok might thats literally something that really could invent probably could figure out how to make it be a vine please could you say all it would take is to search or type the words into a computer to find each mm-hmm make p asen by a random generator ok and have some sort of email autoresponder engine that needs to be embedded in the email and needs to loop and at the top it says I'm going to BRB here's the vine in the meantime pretty fun of vacation actually someone of you who watches this
podcaster listens to it is a lot smarter than me You can probably do it faster, but yeah, that's a really doable invention.
Fake age background. I'm fine. Thanks for coming to Shark Tank number two. I hope I did you justice and I did it right. it's something else too, well, pretty good, honestly, you know, I'll say last time. for weeks and i was developing this one i did today, so if they're bad, that's ok, they were good. I liked them. You always have good ideas. go take your dog to eat like you take your dog to dinner yeah it's fun it's fun and you can put a little bib on them yeah sit at the table and a dog comes over and says will you like any appetizer , no, the dog comes out with his food and eats it in front of people, the dogs sitting at the table and then he growls and says something, yes, you see a lot of dark rites happen, it's very complicated, yes, it was good, although Julian I.
I liked it a lot. Good inventions. I'm glad. Shark Tank. Thanks for the welcome. It's like a real episode of Shark Tank. Robert, oh my gosh, okay, John thinks about my son and Mark Cutemon, who doesn't eat gluten and sometimes does when he wants to julienne it. Thanks guys for watching and listening to the podcast. any ideas you guys might have for us for future podcasts you guys have been excited about the idea it's actually like a bunch of really fun ideas we did a lot of quizzes recently so we might as well cool it down on the quizzes but yeah let us know. thanks again n for listening be nice we will be live on twitch and see you next week bye
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