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Podcast #157 - Snake Oil

May 31, 2021
that's my phone ok this is what's up with this ok there are two sides of the table and i was on my side of the table by law no there is one side of the table it's a circle ok no i can argue with that foolproof math back to Julia

podcast

let's say something besides hello this episode hello well for those of you who don't know how it started it started on our stream because i was just trying to annoy Julian by crying i kept appearing in frame while he was messing around and just going hello hello and then all the chats discussing hello and then the other night on twitter someone said hello to me they tweeted me so it started an amazing Twitter hello chain no its just the whole thing we too hello hello hello hi naturebox is sponsoring the

podcast

and right now you guys can get 50% off your first start let's go to naturebox.com/tyler julian that's not to say they have amazing snacks over a hundred fridge different ios guys always rotate in new gluten free and d vegan options dried mango snack awesome good strawberry native fruit stars awesome snack 50% off your first order right now guys feel good about snacking go to naturebox.com/tyler julian to get simple high quality ingredients in your snacks that are good for you thank you nancy box thank you nature box oh boy yeah hello you've had it no no no honestly I don't even care that's funny to me I'm like I have so much sleepy today is and like you never know like we didn't do anything crazy much in silence i'm so tired yeah no reason there's one thing today we don't drink caffeine yeah sure and i think it happens on weekends with more often, where we just like to forget about the caffeine and then we're just not acting like we're normal.
podcast 157   snake oil
I don't know if you have all that. We've only had one quiet day. We were watching some twitch. Jay Cyrus is doing some fun stuff on Twitch. I hope my knees recover. he dressed up via FaceTime and picked out his outfits for the week, yeah that was it. I eat really cute okay my sister in law is a genius because it was like it took her an hour every morning to pick out her clothes so she bought like a Tupperware drawer thing you know like the ones you get as Target where it's like plastic and container yes but it has drawers so she labeled them weekdays and on the weekends she has to go and choose what outfit she wants so she takes a lot out of her closet and folds them up and puts them in the temporary drawers for have all his clothes picked out so he doesn't take an hour in the morning that's quite right you're giving your son autonomy to choose his own clothes but in a way that he doesn't make you mad in the morning yeah brilliant he's smart well, i like that you were allowed to choose your clothes when your kid skates and you like a batman suit, oh you know what, yeah the answer is yes they allowed me to wear whatever i wanted.
podcast 157   snake oil

More Interesting Facts About,

podcast 157 snake oil...

I did it I wore skates Testing for a whole year they allowed me to wear what I wanted but just like my mom she made us outfits too she did she didn't sew things all our Halloween costumes were always homemade stuff yeah but my mother let us choose the clothes but i stopped wearing dresses when i was like two years old like i didn't like it i didn't want to wear them i just wore shorts and overalls and like inherited from my brother but when my niece really likes dresses she is a cute she's so cute yeah no me what do you mean no you translated to me as an adult although like me I don't I don't do it in dresses you look good in a dress huh I don't know I don't want to look at them the only dresses I really like are like long maxi dresses well basically you like to have a nightgown but it's shaped like something society says is ok it's a day nightgown which makes it iconic just like how big it is just the length what is it and how does it flow Gone and you're wearing nothing but your underwear underneath.
podcast 157   snake oil
That's right, it's fun. I'm okay with that, especially if it's hot and you're like wow. There's a breeze coming from all directions all directions all directions not just one direction Oh Oh guys I'm sorry leave it for me Enya I'm sorry I let you down. You know well, what are you doing, Julie, for several weeks. In the comments, there have been suggestions from you, she suggested this. Yeah, you guys suggested we play a game called

snake

oil. it's a party game you need more people to play but we're not going to do that yeah you usually need at least three but you know what we don't listen to the rules here on david's podcast. aileen ok we we laugh at the rules. i stomp on the rules will you let me throw the rules in the trash and then go get them because forever basically the game is about making sales pitches to each other i think people want to see us play this because they want to hear you make up maybe maybe possibly you're pretty good at ma king up um so look at the way the game works one of us will be the customer and one of us will be the seller the seller of

snake

oil and the customer will have to draw one of these cards which is a profession card so it will dictate what profession they are and that will then force the seller to tailor their sales pitch to this profession then they say the seller picks two cards at random and you put the two words together on the cards and that's the item you have to sell so it's pretty simple, I'm ready, can I be the customer first?
podcast 157   snake oil
Yeah so I just pick one of these yeah are they upside down or are there two sides? I don't get it, those are blank. I think your spacer cards sorry. I'll just pick minis. Oh boy I'm a cowboy let's sell some. I'm a cowboy. Wow, cowboy, you must have a lot of cowboy friends. you yeah you could say that well i think in the jean community it matters what belt buckle you have yeah i think a lot of them look exactly the same just a little star a little silver star on your belt, motherfucker, yes all your friends have that, but the thing that will park you another silver star is that what you just did. you want to blend in with everything you come there you want you want to get out of the jean box and be a better cowboy everyone else with a rainbow star you'll walk around your cowboy friends in your jean rodeos with a rainbow star then brighter than even they can look at your belt their two cards say rainbow and stars now tell me you don't need that rainbow star for your belt son so it's on a belt yes it's a rainbow star so whip like you ain't gotta sell me a rainbow star you gotta sell me you can do something else well i just said rainbow star because that's the star it's the shape of the belt buckle anyway so it's a rainbow star mm-hmm i wanna read those rules ok word cards i mean i'm pretty sold i think that you did a very good job mm-hmm yeah ok you know the colors of my outfit they are usually pretty neutral so it's me you're selling lots of colors this is what will happen you buy the rainbow star and suddenly every outfit makes sense for every single day so not only can you wear all your clothes at once and they will all match your unique ring or you were nothing and the rainbow star will have the color tone that is your skin and it will match your outfit in the rainbow in the rainbow the rainbow has all the colors i mean yeah ok i'm kind of convinced that you sold it to me on a belt, that was, that's the best of rainbow star, it can be solved on a belt, it can be solved on a wall. it can be sold in a butt plug whatever it's just rainbow if you don't Julian so maybe not the butt plug is just the normal belt good you got it right it's sharp too you can throw it at him to people, stab them good and I bleed, but the blood won't be the rainbow. the blood will be red no we sell guns ok no risk i guess we will just keep score here you can keep that ok it means you sold it to a cowboy gimme gimme the card i wont be as good at this as you are.
I am a hunter. It's okay, Julian. Yeah, as a hunter, have you ever been lost in the woods like oh my god? I have no idea where I am and you know how I lost. lots of funds to miss all the time in fact you know and i know he is a good hunter his skill time believe in his abilities but sometimes hunting is as good as there is to hunting nothing to do with you are right yes sometimes i'm out there for hours and even days and i don't hear a peep where i'm fine so in case you are sometimes lost in the woods and can't find anything to eat you can.
Find nothing to hunt, let me introduce you, just pack this compact little puke bush. Do you wake up and it's full of vomit? Yeah, maybe it's not your first choice in terms of food, but since it's dry vomit at first and then you water it and it becomes wet vomit, it's edible even though it's kind of nutritious delicious, you can get lost in the woods up to two weeks straight with the vomit bush the bush also vomits and then i eat the vomit vomit vomit it goes to the bush oh it's disgusting it's a premade vomit so it's like a chia pet do you have Do they start throwing up until I start it up or will they throw up all by themselves? not here right now it will keep you alive in the vomit bush is it poisonous eating from a bush does not sound like a medical professional how sure are you that i can eat anything that grows in the vomit house in person that is an excess percentage the vomit bush was it tastes like vomit like human vomit yes it looks like it's a human bomb are you sure you're not just throwing up?
The question selling it. I'm sure it's a chia pet to throw up to survive. go hunt a suck ok you ready for a six hour drive out of my town to go hunting i don't know why i do it oh i'm a hostage you're a hostage let me tell you something ok you got a suck Limited time. this planet you don't know what's going to happen you say i'm going to die you have a limit you have a potentially limited time you don't know if your captor is going to kill you you don't know if you are going to be transported to another place blindfolded he doesn't know what does it mean what does it mean what does it mean you don't know when your next meal will be right and if I could I would offer you the natural box but I don't have the natural box to sell you all I have is something you could have right now which is a belt do you have a belt? look i see it right there imagine if you had bought the belt sweets you can be you could eat while being captured where are you i have seen you being held captive in the back of a cellar for months and months and months tortured and by an insane person you could have eaten your belt, sweet, they would have taken my belt away, no, it looks like a belt they don't need, but to you it's a sweet and you can survive on it, no, you wouldn't think you're slowly withering and starving. down there you take a little bite of the candy on the bell every day you get stronger and stronger until the last day when you bite into the candy belt buckle and then you see the pile of clothes in the corner took the candy off my belt well they eat everything before I can undress you like in your mouth it's a fruit by the foot belt is what you're saying louder louder than that leather and how can I eat it because the leather is from candy cow what the hell is it a cow made of caramel it's the skin of a c ow made of candy eat it what candy it's a mix between squirts and mounds no salt chocolate fruity gushy unsold melts in your hands no Solon's down on your wrists unsold you don't even know how you got here anymore boca dulce LLC I am selling you my company is called belt candy LLC it is a production company it has nothing to do with belt candies would you like to buy my production company no I do not want your production company to be called belt candy why not because one The time we saw we drove through Hollywood and we saw some great filming.
We saw it. That's how good we both are at sweets. We saw it with our eyes. Yeah, sure, it doesn't help me in my hostage. the unit needs some entertainment bell candy will produce high quality entertainment goes my ipad i need you to buy this is ok we are not selling anything to anyone i need this you don't need to understand what about candy bring to the table nothing you are a ride sharing service that ca I rescue you, okay, you put on the Candy Apple belt on your phone, which is in beta right now, it has started to be created, but when it is there, when it exists, you go to the application about Candy, about Candy's controller, he'll be there in two seconds, what? it happened to you being a candy belt company with candy belts, so it was just a production company or a ride-sharing service, you need a ride, don't you?
You're cutting your team hostage, no, I need a cop. actually undercover cops we are selling you our services protection over candy protection services we are cops cops candy carts buy our services a little cop for you you know why you don't want us we will serve and protect and be about candy are you still making his company movies production that was just a front were undercover cops these are all false stories this is to help youget held hostage we invented this company candy belt specifically to get you out of the situation you were in no one would let us go anywhere if we told them we were police we had to dress up as a producer and then a ride sharing service to be at every turn closer to you and now we're here we only have 30 seconds left they're coming we need you to get in the car we exist just for you we respond like a character in a video game to you to save you from potentially dangerous hostage situation okay we saved her , we did it on candy, now it's dissolved.
To keep you home son I'm gonna take the hostage cause I sold out Oh well I can't believe you're right about that that's like real crap I'm a paparazzi okay sell me okay Julia so like a threat from papa-paparazzi buh-buh-buh-buh I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you love me papa-paparazz I stop singing to me Lady Gaga so as a paparazzi what's the difference between paparazzi and paparazzi is that plural and not singular, it's ours male and female species no way paparazzi is female paparazzi is female no way wait those are funerals what the hell aren't they paparazzi it's plural paparazzo is singular okay well otherwise he doesn't know gender after you take the pictures you run around town you find these celebrities you take pictures of them doing cool stuff yeah then it's time to honk and call everyone magazine and be like i get these pictures of this person or sometimes al reverse, the horn where the celebrity calls mara and set up a look that people still don't get with her like wow look at all these beautiful pictures of someone so looking away on the beach oh i can't believe it's just the paparazzi with that because they call them to show up and take pictures, shut them down no i always find it so funny in the same people who complain about joking paparazzi bothering them they post those pics on their instagrams have you ever seen that no i've seen the same people who complain too repost it's ok no one calls the paparazzi so they show up and talk to them and perpetuate their paying attention to me whatever but because we're not actually playing the game right now, this was all just to explain to you that that's the thing, okay, we want you to know that the true, paparazzo is sometimes arranged by the person himself, although that's okay, so after you take your photos of your celebrity a person you whatever you're doing and then you have to catch up One day you have to call all the media outlets and say I have this little thing pictures of this person doing these things and you know depending on the pictures you have of them it can be really, really valuable but then you're in a bidding war so It's like, oh my gosh, and then you have to go back and forth on phone calls. i'm on the last pics i have to get out now you know i'm saying yes but what if there was a place for you to just upload your pics completely secure and private to all media outlets that could immediately bid like eBay for who? he wants them for what and they could pay you right away I like that sounds easy and no cpgs just a picture honey so everyone pity me more you don't have to do anything how safe is it more to do the things than you love standing on the party work you don't like we're just selling them at a hard price actually they are working so i have a question how safe is it photo sky sounds really very safe I'm talking experience safe why is it called sky of photos that means my photos are dead not with anything it's just where you are going to upload your photos you have an application for iPhone and Android of course we do it very well yes it is impeccable beautiful look if they are paid monthly you will hear we design photo or sky with angels of paparazzo listen we know that And on the beach in Tahiti following gigi hadid okay it's not like this isn't a desktop this computer is out there to be exactly so i sub You wirelessly got photos from my camera t-phone music I fight and then you have to use the mobile app so we've designed it to be super easy to use for people like you on the beaches of Tahiti sweating following Gigi Hadid, who is at least 45 years younger than you.
You have to do it? pay monthly as a membership for the servers yes it's about two dollars a month for you to use and for the websites it's about $15 a week just for me yes for you you're the one I get a special price because you're alright so ok um ok alright alright awesome things you love like being in my way of being good that was the best part of your sales pitch oh thanks you're welcome okay my turn grab it grab it ah what's the difference between the side blue and the green side there is something ng I didn't read enough in the instructions to know that, come on I think there are just different cards.
I don't like that one, okay, what's your profession. I am a priest. You know the definition of hard work. a lot of people mm-hmm every Sunday that's me in church yes sir a lot of people a lot of people yes a lot but yes what happens when it rains you can't go to church when it rains because it's impossible to understand that no one testing them well it's Sunday you have Sunday drivers you have wet roads even in the name of the lord you can't go to church sometimes because the rain is too crazy it's ok and when you're in the rain if you're thirsty you need to drink water even though it's falling everywhere which sounds like a twist when you priests are trying to get to church and it's pouring with rain and you grab your umbrella. you need a refill you need to refill your umbrella water which is a bottle of water that goes through the umbrella filters and up through a straw into your throat well it only works on sundays if you go to church Oh, will it help me get to church sometimes? in a hurry it's ok here there is a lot and you park somewhere you say i thought this is much closer to the church but it's far away i have to run but it's pouring rain you need umbrella water because when you run from your car to the holy house you need to get high the curtains are so bad you need to hydrate in the rain you forget about the water because it's all around you but what about what goes through your mouth to be the highest paid and best performing priest? you need water normal water doesn't work with umbrellas just beads goes off and gets drunk and then goes down the gutter and goes to pennywise and no one is even around needs water filters through umbrella not only protects from rain but that the rain gives him to nourish himself and his sacred spirit on sunday it only rains on sundays why didn't you sell it to me how could we instead of buying our holy water we could go out to collect it from the rainwater with them because I am the brother water is not certified holy water you cannot baptize people with an umbrella one is a stays in the umbrella there is no faucet you put your mouth on the umbrella and you drink it there is no way to get it out of the umbrella there is water through the umbrella a patented technology that we don't think we stole from my friend the water drips through the umbrella and instead of going out to the ground it goes back in and then it rushes and seeps like a brita it's my own brother i didn't need it To we own Brita this is Britta, it's something you've read like a new church.
I know you have a lot of management. Astute management. to do with anything about umbrella water was that umbrella water is the company that is under the same umbrella as Brita that's why it's called umbrella water I'm not going to let you get away with this second one I want you to drink of my bread I caramel boat we are no you are not how I hear in your ear your voice how thirsty you are and we have water we have hydration ok every Sunday you are up there shouting ok we make a podium a podium that has water attached fountain which is the Britta's new invention we haven't really talked about it we can't release it yet but while you're out there giving your sermon that's called a sermon while you're doing the sermon and you're inspiring all these people on a beautiful rainy Sunday it should lean over your podium with only three free hands ok we have a motion sensor water fountain install the podiums the best politicians use it and now we bring it is a church and you guys were the first sac erdotes we want to use there is nothing more inspiring believe me i have seen it its magical no no you will not get away there is nothing worse in church than having to pause so the priest has to take a sip of water from water bottle like like some kind of human not special he is special human he need to drink hands free it's like that well he's talking he needs to stop what he's doing and he needs to drink with water of umbrellas we are creating a giant Umbrella that goes on top of the churches and provides water for the entire production of the church.
It is 40 feet tall. It is ecological. Just give me your hand. Okay, we'll end here. Good job last Sunday and look, do you want the people? of your church so that the water from the umbrella and the roofs go down to the seats and have individual water fountains for each seat in the church. Do you want them to hydrate or not? It is necessary and you need them to bring their own water. we're not going to waste all this plastic bottles on this beautiful beautiful earth we have you wouldn't have to if you had umbrella water yourself dear sir well done sir great doing business with you yes i will visit you next sunday i will install the umbrella change it 20 times what the thing with snake oil it's ok you have to be crafty with your sales pitch you have to be able to shift and jump and move sideways while you're selling because one direction might not be working you have to jump and take the other angle so that's about it, that's where i created this game called Snake Oil Guys and you can buy it right now, discontinued by manufacture, don't worry, it's actually discontinued by manufacturer, how did you get it?
I have UNPO skates it was at Toys R Us or something delivered right to my house it was amazing it's like nature barks when it's delivered right to your house you don't have to do anything every month makes simple ingredients no artificial flavors, colors or sweeteners, delivered right to your house every month or you can just buy them separately it doesn't matter ok you can have a subscription service or you can just buy them you know what you want they have over 100 snacks they know. so good and really better for you i know we all want to eat better but when it comes to snacks they generally taste good but they are not good for you thats where natures box comes in ok you can feel good about what you are. eating right now Jen and I are eating this lemon-assisted strawberry fruit star we still have we still have them they're still in our cabinet and also just the salt and pepper lentil loops are really good those are a tasty little snack guys you will definitely find your new snack obsession in Nature Box and as I said they are constantly changing their snack options with the information inspired by the latest trends from professional chefs guys this is not a joke like Nature has been Box. around them they are thriving they have great snacks all over the place ok head to naturebox.com/tyler room straight to your door risk free if you ever had a snack you don't like guys don't eat it right naturebox is ok maybe not for you ok maybe not for you they will replace it for free with this knife you like right now nature vlog is giving you 50% off your first order, that's half, guys, you can't say no. that's worth half as much snacks we all have snacks extra bucks accomplice Jenna Julianne thank you and when you're looking to do some Christmas shopping probably for your dad or maybe your brother Matt wife or maybe your sister dad or maybe your daughter maybe your steps they are maybe your adopted granddaughter whoever in your life wants something you want to get them a movement watch because movement watches look great and they are affordable they look like five hundred six hundred dollars no they starting at $95 they really have quality. light clocks quality construction we have some ordering another one i am ordering another movement clock with my code it's ok and with you too you can get 15% off plus free shipping if you use our code too seriously guys it's MVM not ok story on how the watch movement started out so well that broke college kids wanted stylish watches but couldn't afford them.
They made them say: hey, why don't we do this? Why don't you make elegant and good quality watches? Granted, they only sell their products online. They were able to cut out the middle man and dial in retail and dial in retail reach and margins and then get the best possible price for you when you buy a new watch. so they start at just 95 bucks literally check it out right now and vmt comm /jj and look at their selection because they have a bunch of different style watches different bands different watch faces its really cool the revolutionary pricing along withmovements, classic design, quality, construction and minimalist style have led to the sale of more than 1 million watches in 160 countries. will they like it i go to M VMT dot-com /jj get 15% off today thats for you ding fam and you get free shipping and also free returns yes thank you patrons hello patrons are you ready good sir choose an occupation ok i'm a protester who was on top a nice try i'm a homeless it's my profession ok Julian what are you listening here ok for many reasons you have found yourself as a baker right if you stand on the corner of the 405 or the sign that says food is a parking sign that you ripped off the street no it says send nudes but yeah i'll take food whatever there's a lot of complicated reasons why you ended up having to panhandle and sometimes people give you like a dollar here and a dollar th Here sometimes it's enough for you to eat sometimes it's not mostly it's not a lot of times you go to bed hungry and you just seek shelter and you just want a little help it wouldn't help well it would it would be nice if you could walk to the river prize , what do you think the work does not work?
So just reach up you dip in it and dry the treat give me an example of a treat yeah so think like the dentist or orthodontist or something we put out like a sticky hand how is it going to feed me in my family is there some real value in the Preiser absolutely all the river how many acres spends all the peso so you're saying the river LA has been infested with prizes worth a total of forty five cents oh yeah it's time we had races we have soft stuff balls that bounce whatever you want it's mostly charlie threw it on us they didn't want it anymore and we were like we'll take it and fill the river.
It is a river of prize. I'm tempted. t I have a question when I get closer if they are going to be a bit wet and soggy no there is no water it is dry it is a prize river it is just prizes there is no water just prizes can you dive in it or will you get hurt ? You can but it's frowned upon because we don't want you breaking prizes for other people. Look, you're talking about miles and miles of award miles, yeah, collective, 45 cents, what the fuck are awards. Lying ok but like I'm full of prizes River so what you selling me?
I can do it right now without buying anything from you. We have to get exactly. We have to get people there. that's all this tells me about the award event so this is like a public service announcement yes no but it's no use i need to fight for my life to eat and drink yes but who doesn't like sticky ends cans are so much fun you want a kazoo i want a kazoo you put vuvuzelas in the prize river yeah i'm there give me the card yeah vuvuzela that's what you made me yeah what are you laughing at I just laugh, what's your profession, miss, I'm actually an alien. just introducing myself hello alien i like you because you're not human i'm a fan of people who aren't human love i don't know i don't know where you're from planet hello maybe wow ok maybe shut up even though i try to sell here sometimes when i go to their alien meetings , okay, and you need to have some good alien ideas to impress your alien friends and co-workers mm-hmm, you don't know what to do, okay, you can write down all the ideas you want, but at the end of the day you walk into that meeting and you have have to give him some gold or else you're out of here mm-hmm they'll kick you off the alien ship dumped all the way into space maybe never found again may be found by a more dominant alien species who's gonna know you know he's okay, you need to have and You need to be prepared to go to these meetings, okay, which means inside your pockets you can't have anything in there.
You need to clean out your pockets so you can fill them with pocket fear. You need pocket fear inside your pockets. You know? What pocket scare? Pocket fear? of all oh you pull out a pocket scare and throw it in their face and they're terrified of you and then automatically you have the floor whatever you say goes because they're terrified you've got the pocket scare that sounds like persuasion pocket persuasion just hit it you a little example well how you feel now scared i see it in your eyes terrified in my pocket scared i took it out and damn the moment changed now you were scared of me and you are listening to everything i say there was no pretense i did it all and you reacted to fear of pocket chemicals are reactive I don't feel afraid I feel like I want to get away from you well it's scared of pocket you need scared of pocket on your side because if not on your side it's on my side I'm going to help you I have a question what happens if you have pockets here and i'm afraid of pocket i've always seen that happen once doesn't seem like anyone's going to have an advantage everyone's bad everyone in the room is dead now so why What would I care if the pocket is dangerous? you'll probably be the only alien with a pocket scare how long is it twenty minutes okay i don't know you have a meeting soon you can go use it no i don't want any pocket scare pocket scare that's why i don't want buy my pockets you didn't sell me you didn't I need I don't want you to buy my pocket scared I don't want it pocket scared it's ok it's this new company that we sell people went to the zoo and what it does is it causes the smell that scares all the animals so they know not to reach into your pockets and take your bonus sometime.
I was at the monkey zoo, a fool, but I know that you have, they put you in your pockets because your pockets were not afraid of the pocket inside them, they will take everything out of there, they will steal everything you have, I'm sorry, says rocket fear, okay, no, it says rocket food no he doesn't it says pockets here i got nothing i give up kids all pocket scared this is good i'm a politician come on baby okay you're a politician are you TRUE? what kind of politician are you the type that fucking wins, yeah, but what kind of position do you hold at the top?
So you are the president. I am the president. President. No. I'm mayor. a mayor, he probably has some security, but he doesn't have a Secret Service platform. Yeah, they pretty much confuse everything. Your own personal security device. I like it for the most extreme situations. What is? It's your knife, so the way it hooks is we surgically implant it down your throat, oh, so when you yell the cold word banana, it shoots out and yawns. shooting from your shot and stab someone to death instantly on the spot so once i use it once may i know what can be used again to get surgery again?
Well, you probably need a doctor to get it. back and throat, but you don't need to have surgery, so it's just a one-time thing. What does that mean? So if I'm in danger mm-hmm I have to yawn and if I can't scream you have to. scream and yawn and say banana, that's a lot of things at once, well, you know, will you? die, yeah, and then he shoots out, he shoots out like this, yeah, and then he kills somebody, yeah, am I responsible for the murder? Yes, what about your company? you just told me you're trying to sell it to me no we give to the nice people this whole meeting is being recorded i got security at my mayor's office look all we are is yawn knife ok then you we say tech lo if it accidentally shuts off, no i'm taking my pet snake for a tortilla ride and then BAM stabs my pet snake who is responsible for that hmm probably snake why what did he do, it's scary, it deserves to die, yes, it's scared, that's all, how much?
It's a thousand dollars 99 I like the way you look I want to buy it for you oh honey in the knife I'm only buying you because you're cute there you promised oh come to dinner at the mayor's office you can't I can make one more inside then we'll be done yeah okay I'm going to sell you. I'm gonna sell you a nice knife ok last one guys we're tired what can I say Choose a profession. I am a diva. You are a diva. Let me tell you this. You are a diva. the most popular person who ever walked anywhere is ok is ok at least in your mind but actually you have fans you are popular mm-hmm you can't go to the mall without getting mugged and sometimes that's a lot and sometimes when you get there there you realize a little late that you're stuck you're stuck they surround you and sticky they're so sticky because they're sweaty and they've been waiting for you they start sticking to each other and then you see it form a little half circle and then it's a full circle and then you're trapped you can't get through these fans you need to get where you need to go but there are full fans 360 full mosh pit its mosh pitting now they're everywhere you can't get anywhere survive the physical space around you it's been consumed by your fans because you're a diva oh so far now you've got fan butter you butter all your fans you carry fan butter everywhere you go all of a sudden you just slip and slide between them you're the slipperiest running In the NFL no one can touch you wait so I put on the fan butter yeah it comes in a spray for him. everyone is slippery now no one can catch you they say hello deva i want a picture they go and then they fell off they probably got hurt really very important but we can't we can't we have nothing to do with it injury actually i feel like that's a really good idea for him crowd control just making everything super slippery yeah it's an imagination if you basically cover the floor in banana peels it's basically that scene in Zoolander where they're having a gas fight that's what the e is except not everyone they die in the explosion it will destroy the little earth they all died in that scene surf orange mocha frappuccino you can have a butter actually it looks like a gas petrol hose like that you just take it out of your bag you spray fan butter no one can touch you thats not a bad sales pitch I like I like that I think that's pretty good isn't it? let's sign yes they said really yes because you didn't change the company twelve times well there's fan butter but we don't have a sister either no fan margarine ok no or when they show up at your house and need breakfast you don't have margarine fan you can spray them with margarine it's a fan that sprinkles butter it's not for your fans it's literally fan butter you turn on the fan and it just sprays Barra everywhere and then you have a butter smell everything is covered in butter this is only if you love butter this is basically just for REE Drummond we got it yeah , she's just going to the ranch, can we? invite her to a podcast shall we get on a podcast? wish how can we USC like he went to college got married isn't yes like he's cool he has a cool life I feel like beating Bobby Flay in a cooking contest I looked at his Wikipedia page ok I read stuff about REE Drummond hi there I'm REE Drummond This is what's going on at the ranch.
I'm going to pour 14 sticks of butter into the cereal bowl and then eat it. Oh wow, this game was fun. This game is fun if you have a Julianne in your life that she loves. It just embellishes everything, yeah I like you too much. I literally almost got up and left when you were doing that umbrella church. yourself an app get secret a napkin secret you You can write whatever you want on it. It is a napkin, although it is a napkin secret. The thing about a napkin secret is that once you write it down, whoever touches it dies immediately.
It's poisoned. No, we're done, we're done. Julian spits out cheese. you need to spit cheese because sometimes when you're spitting on the floor it'll just dry out too fast you need lee to leave some cheese marks which is gross it's a can of cheese not just cheese. he just spits it out what you say cheddar gruyere and he just spits it out at you ready we're done with book soap Julian who's going to wash your books you need to wash your books they won't wash themselves they need to be washed you need to be mopped specifically but that's how you do it do you do is with books up oh wait urghhh so i hope you enjoy this podcast this is fun i like this game maybe we will do it again with a third party it could be fun with her yeah with more people its like cards against humanity , but with further discussion, yes we can too, I think they gave us blank cards to write on. some weekends yeah I'm pretty good well thanks everyone for hanging out for another pound KS yeah yeah yeah but see you next week for another look seriously movement watches really awesome stuff check out the links below in nature box and we'll probably be live on twitch all week so see you there or something ok not tuesday night let's go streamys pray for me i don't have nothing to wear, you know what? wearing anything yeah cutting like legit i don't have something anyway we just didn't do it this weekend we didn't go looking for something to wear you're supposed to buy this week and we don't like fancy and make people dress up. we're supposed to get each other clothes and we didn't yeah ok i'll talk about it ok

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