YTread Logo
YTread Logo

NOOB'S GUIDE to SETTRA the IMPERISHABLE

NOOB'S GUIDE to SETTRA the IMPERISHABLE
welcome to a

noob

's

guide

decetra the

imperishable

this is cetra the great king the

imperishable

the hemrihara the great king of nehihara king these titles go on for a while so i'm just gonna move on cetra is the bone pimp daddy with the spinning rims who rolls up on 40s and rolls over anyone he comes across to tokyo drift his way to victory as the real star of the tomb kings dlc for total war warhammer 2 he'll have you grinding up dead mummies to make a mountain of white mummy powder so big it would make even scar face blush tomb kings are the reanimated husks of dried out rich guys who send their subjects to fight never-ending wars all to reclaim the glories of lost empire so you know it's nice warhammer finally included a real world faction the tomb king's culturally appropriated mummies the pyramid the names headdress and that stick on chin beard thing that makes you look like you have a dildo on your face once a flourishing civilization that spent a few thousand years t-posing on egyptian culture for the tomb kings it was all sunny skies green fields and used sarcophagus salesmen and told one of their priest kings freebased a mountain of warpstone to kill everything that evolved past single-celled organism and then he reattached their souls to cue an endless civil war between pharaohs with a thousand years of sand built up in every crevice imaginable all the proof who had the biggest testicles before they died then had them cut off and put in canoptic...
noob s guide to settra the imperishable
jars canoptic jars for those of you who haven't played assassin's creed origins store the important bits of you removed after mummification a process that entails cutting your corpse from junk to jugular and removing all the squishy bits found inside they then removed the brain by shoving a long thin hook up your nostril like that scene from total recall and then finally you'd be pumped full of whatever embalming liquid you could afford and wrapped in the ancient equivalent of clingy saran wrap for fresh keeping while your newly external organs were laid out beside you in four pieces of ancient tupperware it's these canoptic jars that form the main currency of the tomb kings in-game you gain them by killing things and harvesting their organs like a tijuana chop shop you then use these alongside rare resources you capture on the map to unlock advanced units regiments of renown arms and armor but that part about the pickled penises wasn't entirely true in mummification they would most often just remove the genitalia entirely and then replace it with an exaggerated golden version that stood up at a 90 degree angle because nobody wants to go to the afterlife with a tiny flaccid shriveled mummy junk but the man with the biggest pyramid the fanciest canoptic jars and an entire separate sarcophagus just to hold his enormous golden appendage was cetera the

imperishable

previously spared from neverending undeath by his gigantic magically encased pyramid in henry...
noob s guide to settra the imperishable
the current grand hero fan of the mortuary cult broke the freshness seal to finally answer who was the biggest badass in their history cetera is one of the only lords in warhammer history that even games workshop admitted needed a rewrite so they retconned him from being an oppressive pharaoh tyrant who overtook the world by ruthlessly exploiting his own people to now become a ruthless tyrant who overtook the world by oppressing his own people but this time they loved him for it probably because cetra is will incarnate these same cults of personality are what led the macedonians to the hindu koosh and michael jordan to believe that he can actually act in space jam hold on i think cetra's full list of titles is about to end so let's tune in for the exciting finale carrion master eternal warden of nehex lands breaker of jaff's bonds and many many more you know this is actually a bit awkward for me i thought this was going to last the entire video but um the segway out of this awkward pause is brought to you by lamp not this lamp obviously this lamp is clearly broken which is why i got a new lamp a fancy led one from benq with capacitive touch controls that allows you to not only adjust the brightness and color temperature of the light but also includes an automatic brightness adjusting feature which is especially handy if you're like me and work in a government office with automatic light sensors all while conveniently mounted on top of your monitor handy and...
noob s guide to settra the imperishable
out of the way and powered by only usb it's so easy even i can use it and a four year old can use it and a 10 month old can use it and a dog can use it so clearly you can also use it so if you're ready to clear off some desk space try this new lamp from benq which i'll link in the description below during a drought in their home of nehara when he was still alive and that's nehehara with a silent k you'll continue to not hear cetra sacrificed his own children to appease the gods and bring rain when faced with overwhelming odds he would charge his chariot directly into the enemy and when he had finally conquered every tribe of man all the way to the black mountains he roared with rage to discover that the world kept going and he could not conquer it all in a single lifetime this realization of course brought on a full-blown mid-life crisis cetra bought a dodge charger got into crossfit and started his own craft brewery while funding a mortuary cult of pseudoscience to begin the search for eternal life but no amount of gwyneth paltrow's goop could forestall the inevitable truth that getting old sucks and then he died and came back again now at the game's start cetra is poised to sweep aside the pretender tomb kings and reunite negara under his bony boot heel as the reign of a million years begins but your early game is cetera is all about recolonization and putting inputting camry god damn it imagine you have a hairball in the back of your throat...
you're going the entire time that's what recording this is like and you can thank fellow youtuber party elite for that linguistic quirk and since he's a tiny tanned man of unclear ethnic origins you know you can trust him to pronounce them foreign words by far the most unique thing about every tomb king's campaign is that the armies you'll be fielding are entirely free to recruit and they require no upkeep since dead men tell no tales and also require no food health insurance or hooker allowance the great tomb kings all had their best soldiers buried alive with them so as you reclaim henry you'll basically be liberating these guys from their eternal prisons and it's only by expanding your empire and re-excavating these lost complexes that you unlock the most elite units to recruit which is a story i just made up as it sounds a lot better than creative assembly wanted to cap recruitment and couldn't be asked to give a lore reason why you're not instantly allowed to recruit a doom stack whenever you want in the meanwhile you'll have to make do with your endless army of army of darkness extras these units are so cheap they couldn't even be bothered to wrap themselves in toilet paper like proper mummies and the only thing they're good for is giving enemy armies a convenient place to wipe their keisters but the entirety of cetra's playstyle depends on these no bodies taking 90 casualty as that gives him the time he needs to...
circle a ram and ram their back doors and turn their formations from saluting the sun to downward facing doggy style because chariots are citrus thing you can tell because he's supposed to be egyptian and creative assembly believes that every egyptian in history rode around on chariots smiting some israelites well you'll need a chariot for that fighting romans oh that's a chariot too stealth operations against isis tactical chariots brah if you went to creative assembly's office in horsham you'd find every egyptian programmer had chariot wheels on their desk just to give it that touch of home but when cetra awoke from his slumber and found a competing tomb king archen knocking on his tomb door cetra proved he was not a morning person by curb stomping this guy to pieces and tying his still sentient body to his chariot wheels but just remember that unlike cavalry you have to charge chariots in and then immediately pull out don't try for the rhythm method don't wait around for the withdrawal or you'll find that your guys have busted themselves all over the enemy and the only chariot that can really raw dog them is the bone daddy himself etc injects nitrous oxide directly into his fuel tank and unlocks his own unique race car mount that can only truly be revealed in a top gear montage it's called the chariot of the gods it has no breaks the suspension is literally the steering is rubbish and the driver doesn't even have eyes but none of...
this matters because cetra does not swerve chariots really only work though if the enemy is already distracted so cetera starts with two other units for the enemy to swarm onto the first is a heimrian war sphinx your friendly neighborhood danger kitty who you'll use is a crutch all the way to turn 50 as he carries your surrey backside on his spacious granite shoulders and if you hate yourself as a person you can always put cetra on a war sphinx sure your undead lord will never be able to die but at what cost accompanying this beast of a war sphinx are a unit of tomb guards the personal posse of the pharaohs think of them as a skeletal 300 but with less man-on-man action because etc unlocks his personal abilities you'll find these guys are more than an egyptian-flavored meat wall but even with these at your back cedra's victory will only be complete when you gather together five cursed books of the vile sorcerer nagash otherwise known as the sorcerer who killed everyone in nehekhara and then raised him all back from the dead you know a total dick move once you regather his tainted library which seems to entirely consist of cephalopods and japanese schoolgirls you'll bring them to the black pyramid of nagash where you'll recreate the spell that awoke all the tomb kings to undeath except this time it'll be to put enough flesh on their bones they can be dummy thick enough to burst their bandages though i should point out that at this point in warhammer...
lore nagash actually comes back from the dead and raffle stomps cetera's entire army putting key of the sweet ride down on his knees before asking out of admiration admittedly if cetra would be willing to serve as the gosh is lieutenant and if there's one thing we've learned in this video it's that cetra does not serve which meant that frieza nagash instantly lifted cetra into the air and krillin'd him to death now a disembodied head cetera had time to reconsider his position on servitude and was eventually offered a new juiced up body to seek revenge by the gods of chaos so when the end of the warhammer world comes cetra sets out to put six feet of nehekhar and hardwood through nagashi's eye socket and pimp slap him back into his black pyramid batting aside an actual mountain-sized god of thunder just to get the chance to stand beside the gosh and lift his kopesh to deliver the final blow and it's at this point sword raised that the chaos gods spoke again and ordered cetra to serve them and do the deed which was exactly the wrong thing to say as cetera does not serve etc rules as he put a pause on killing nagash to deal with a load of chaos gods who would dare tell him what to do cetra is last seen leroy jenkinsing into a chaos army soloing them and as the world winks out of existence the final image of the

imperishable

one is as he scales a chaos giant and embeds his halberd in its skull so dust off your dodge chargers and spend way too much time...
talking about family because the original guy who's fast and furious has come to town you