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Mental Health Q + A | David Marvin, Jennie Allen, + Jonathan Pokluda

Mental Health Q + A | David Marvin, Jennie Allen, + Jonathan Pokluda
foreign all right let's go porch let's do this y'all ready let's go let's go we are here to have a good time and we just want to go ahead and start off by like we always do welcoming our porch live locations i'm gonna let each of these guys welcome a porsche live location and make sure that we show them some love in the room after each one so

david

welcome houston texas let's go astros sports live houston welcome all of you self-righteous people about them being cheaters like you've never done anything wrong in your life wow i was going to not be as excited as that you don't have to be be you okay austin we love you we're really porsche live austin let's go phoenix and boise let's go potato yeah phoenix and boise and as always our friends in the room we're so glad you're here and like i said earlier we are wrapping up the we're all freaking out series on

mental

health

anxiety stress worry all the things and so um we did this at awaken just like this pretty much and it was i mean everyone loved it so you know we're diving in we're back you better keep making them happy i loved it i'm like let's do it again back together yeah they're all like who what awaken yeah so okay well first off um i know that you have all lived in dallas at one point the only one who doesn't jp you're down in waco texas now starting at harris creek and um but you have lived in dallas obviously it's true what is...
mental health q a david marvin jennie allen jonathan pokluda
one restaurant if y'all only got to eat at one more restaurant in dallas texas what would it be um fuzzies down here you ready yeah yeah yeah what is it yeah no if i could only choose one uh i would choose macero miko uh and uh they're all kind of velvet taco and uh okay got it mexican math has never been his thing yeah okay i can i never get tired of hos tired of jose's have you all ever been there oh there's a patio on a fall day zach zach introduced me to i know we introduce everyone to it if you go out to eat with us we'll probably take you down we are a mexican lover i would say miko cena wow yeah never seen it okay and then let's go a little more on the spiritual side and then we'll dive into the questions on

mental

health

uh what is that's this what book of the bible are you reading right now and give us kind of like what are you learning in it are you reading the bible no no i actually stopped do you read the bible i actually stopped he's in the quran it is great there's some powerful nuggets in there for sure uh today this morning i read through mark chapter four and um and actually i'll share this here in a second but it was was camping out in mark chapter four and what did you learn oh you'll share it later yeah yeah okay foreshadowing of what's to come jenny so i'm actually listening to galatians this week in on dwell app and i love listening to books that i know pretty well because you hear it and i listen...
mental health q a david marvin jennie allen jonathan pokluda
in accents that are really interesting and they read it differently what accent are you on right now well it's felix if you know dwell up and he reads it like real african it's awesome and he just i love him he's real passionate and so he is reading it to me and i heard in galatians his passion make very clear that we cannot go after any other gospel that there is no other gospel that we can live out and so let's be sure we're living the true gospel that's good yeah yeah so i'm reading the psalms in the morning but where i'm camping out is in ecclesiastes we're going through that and i think this past week has kind of stayed with me for a number of reasons but it's just like learn from your pain before you leave it ecclesiastes chapter seven and so that god and that's so relevant to what i think where we're going tonight which is just like god wants to teach us something in pain and that pain is is some of the greatest pain is one of the greatest teachers under the sun and so on this earth it's something that he allows to happen so that we can grow and be sanctified that's good well i just want to kind of dive into this conversation and i'm so glad thank you all for making time i know that traveling and all that is crazy especially in the middle of the week and i think that this is a conversation that the church needs to be having more uh because people are having it and they're looking for a place to look for...
mental health q a david marvin jennie allen jonathan pokluda
answers and i hope that it's always the church i hope that the church can become more and more of a safe place for people to be honest with what they're feeling experiencing and to be met with love and truth and so i hope that tonight is a really helpful resource in this conversation and so just starting off because anxiety

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all of these things seem to be plaguing the world and everyone kind of is talking about it but it is kind of this like lofty idea that people don't really know how to articulate uh before we try to talk about anxiety itself where do you where do you all feel like anyone can answer we can go each of you where do you all feel like it is stemming from like what are the leading causes today of anxiety depression stress worry all those things well we live in a very disconnected world we are facing more than ever epidemic of loneliness uh of course social media there's so many right answers but i'm gonna actually go to a way deeper place and say it's definitely strategic that the enemy i believe has spiritual assignment i'm gonna get you said push the envelope before we came out here okay let's go let's go so i think the enemy is very strategic you see jesus talk about the enemy he calls him a liar and a liar is a especially if he's a good liar then he's thinking very hard about how he lies and how he does it and so what you've got is you've got a demonic force sorry if you're new here and and...
overwhelmed by this but there's a demonic force working against us i think it's an important thing to know as a christian in fact i'll start with ephesians sorry if you wanted to start lighter than that but let's go you asked i figured all right because if we don't start here i think we're kind of missing we're really talking about the things the demons are using right like this is a plan you want to know when everybody in the world is feeling something at the same time do you think that's an accident like the whole world is collectively anxious and scripture says we be um be strong in the lord and in the strength of his might put on the whole armor of god that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil that he has schemes that are coming for you for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against the rulers against the authorities against the cosmic forces over this present darkness and i know that feels like an intense way to start but if there are cosmic forces coming for us i think we don't have another place we can start because there is cosmic forces coming for us and there is a devil that is scheming how to take us out and when you see everyone you know when i have elementary age kids that are shut down and cannot attend school because of anxiety we have a massive problem there is something happening in the world right now that is so thick and that is so um strategic that i think we've got to realize that...
he's using all these different things and is true we are disconnected we are on our screens we are you know in a world where we know the problems of the entire planet and that's all troubling but ultimately what the enemy wants is to shut down the church and he's doing a really good job i would say yeah that's good yeah just add quickly if i can that and i've said this i mean just this idea that selfishness is satanic and so when we get so focused on ourselves and we try to be god and we want glory like we weren't made to be worshiped like we have to offload that onto the sturdy shelf of jesus christ it will collapse us if we try to be at the center of our world and so with the enemy the enemy doesn't need you to worship him like there's probably not a lot of satan worshipers here tonight uh like you you're probably not gonna go home and like crack open the ouija board and do do the same thing but if if you will worship i was i'm like okay jd uh but but if he can get you just to focus on you like the opposite of loving god is not loving satan it's loving self and and putting yourself or worshiping self rather the opposite of worshiping god is worshiping self that's why he said just to piggyback on what she said second corinthians 10 5. we demolish all arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against knowledge of god and we take every thought captive and make it obedient to jesus christ and right before that it's...
talking about demonic strongholds and so the enemy is going to destroy try to distract you with you when you start thinking about you a lot that is the beginning of the spiral to despair that's good i i don't think i'd add any i think we are to her point or one of them mentioned we're connected in all the ways that produce anxiety and disconnected in so many ways that prevent anxiety and so we're not connected in terms of relationally to others that authentically walk alongside where we can talk about the ways that we're struggling the same problem is always causing anxiety facing uncertainty and sitting in the place of god and so having other people that are connected to us deeply relationally not on a screen but connected in life is one of the ways that we prevent anxiety and being connected to all of the different alerts problems ch

allen

ges comparisons through digital connections produce anxiety so we've got really in two different directions something happening where we're doing things that produce it and not doing the things that prevent it i am you are such teachers because you pretty much just said three points and it was satan's self and social media oh no you're the teacher um but okay so jp i'm going to ask you this because i think i've seen you talk about this on instagram there's this quote that i've heard a lot around here and then in different spaces that say it says feelings are real but not reliable and i...
think that sometimes i struggle with that quote i'll be honest i get the heart of it but feelings are god-given emotions are god-given and they are such a gift and i think sometimes it can sound like feelings and emotions aren't safe at all um and i and i'm yeah she's like let me finish okay so i what i want to know is um the bible also says do not listen to your heart it's wicked it's deceitful above all else who can know its ways and so how do we as young adults who are very much led by feelings led by emotions and we have been told that that could potentially cause the anxiety how do we embrace the god-given gift of feelings and emotions but also not let them be our god yeah yeah yeah so i first heard that that quote from todd wagner and then i heard it over time improved to say feelings are are real but not always reliable because sometimes they're very reliable when you touch the hot stove and it says that's how that feels hot you know wow it hurts and and that's that's a reliable feeling uh one time just south of here so in preston hollow i was driving around and i was in in the midst of the roads where they're not really a grid they're kind of windy and i got really turned around and i was i'm like i'm like a mile from here but i'm lost and i'm trying to get back to watermark and i and i live here right at the time and i've lived here for 20 years and i can't find my way out of preston hollow and i...
and everything in me says i feel like watermark is that way and so i just start driving and and eventually as i'm driving i'm looking for watermark and i'm looking for this medical tower over here i eventually see taller buildings which are downtown and i'm like how did i get downtown and so yeah i know y'all are pointing at people you do that and uh and and so what i did is i pulled out my my gps you know imaps google maps right and i put in the address and i just trusted it and so you need to know there's going to be times where you feel deeply like he's the one she's the one you should do this you should work there you should drink that or you should take your life you should cut yourself you should end it all you should despair you should stay in bed and in those moments i would just encourage you to turn to your gps and here it is let me give it to you write it down ready ready gather your group that's that's believers my friend jenny

allen

has an amazing book coming out in february called find your people that's what i'm saying gather your group not one person not your wise uncle followers of jesus in your life okay so gather your group persist in prayer and so begin to pray lord i don't know where i'm going would you speak through them would you would you show me would your holy spirit whisper to me the voice behind me whether to turn right or left and and search the scriptures is there a verse that like if i...
believe i should end it or i should stay in bed but there's a verse that tells me something else then i'm going to trust this over my feelings right i want to conform my feelings to what this says so gather your group persist in prayer search the scriptures that's your gps when you don't know where to go you turn there say all right i need to get my people in a room i need to ask god to speak through them before during and after and i need to ask them is there any scriptures that align with the counsel that you're giving me and and so when that aligns when your gps aligns with how you feel trusted when it doesn't don't your heart is wicked and deceitful and beyond cure but the holy spirit gives you a new heart a heart of flesh not a heart of stone but the problem is your degenerate heart under the sun in this world detached from god is kind of always there you can trust your new heart but you can't trust your old heart and that's why you have to have people in your life who will help you it's good stuff jenny i i canoe and nice or do that just i mean thank you for your honesty who gets lost on a canoe and she uses a gps news i see you i knew and my husband would laugh because i'm not very good at it but i do do it like i figured where do you continue i'm going to tell you because it's very does anyone know that you can be bad at canoeing i i am a terrible canoer we're going to we're going to make a support group bro...
you bad community so i am a bad canoer but i i do canoe and and it is a funny word you know um but what i would say about that is when i'm on the river and i'm canoeing i own canoes i need to i need to really brag that i really do canoe like that's something we got that yeah she can use she has the shirts i canoe you know i felt like i was saying something that wasn't true okay like i own a canoe okay she has a canoe okay so when we canoe we go down the river and i am horrible at it and they don't want me in the back and they don't want me in the front which means you're in the middle because that's the people that don't paddle and so so anyway anyway so when we're on the river there are there are two options there's two shores and you don't want to hit them you want to go down the river okay again obvious so when you're doing this what what i would say is that every single one of us what i learned in adoption therapy before we adopted was everybody has a window of tolerance and the window of tolerance is just like that river that you are going down the river you want to go down the river smoothly safely but the reality is there's two shores on one side of the river you have the shore of coping checking out stuffing your feelings pretending it's not happening on the other side you have chaos anger frustration panic attacks losing your mind you know whatever so you've got these two sides of the river well all of...
us have a certain window of tolerance nobody has an infinite window of tolerance there are always shores to the ability of things we can we can actually process and handle the more trauma i'm just getting really technical here but the more trauma you've been through the smaller that river is the smaller and tighter it is so if you've been through a lot which let's be real all of our windows of tolerance just shrunk we have collectively been through a lot so the river is really is really tight and if you're not a good canoer like i can't figure it out there are i actually go the fastest and the best if i just don't paddle like nobody paddles we just ride the river and i would say this actually very much applies because that is largely how we are supposed to go through this is there is a sense of we really can't control our lives and we really can't control the world and so we are all freaking out we are and so when we're all freaking out there's this sense of what do we do and so we put our oar in and if you're like me you hit a shore just because for some reason every time my ore goes in i go to the right or i go to the left and i'm trying to control it and i'm trying to make it work and the harder i paddle the more i go to the right and left good for you that are good at canoeing but i'm not and so when i do it when i try to get involved overly in my life and try to control this thing i'm going to the right or...
to the left and what i would say is that there is a moment right now where we all have kind of put in our paddles and we're like lord we need you like you're just going to have to help us get down this river and what's cool is if you go on a good river there is a current and it will carry you and and i would say for all of us that are that are spinning right now i mean the the reality is you are and i want to say this as as gently and kindly as i can i am so sorry i am so sorry and you are not alone you are not the only one that is feeling like it is absolute chaos some of you have had a panic attack today some of you have have hit a shore in the last two hours like you were you were outside paralyzed before you came in and i just want to say humanly speaking we all have a certain amount that we can handle and so do not be overly discouraged if you feel like gosh i keep hitting ashore how you grow that window of tolerance how you expand it and cause it to be larger so i've learned it's just impossible thing that you have to do is you have to be honest you have to say out loud how hard this is and for girls some of you are better at it i'm not very good at it it's very hard for me for guys you're probably not as comfortable doing it but what therapy has taught me is there is power in saying it out loud to people that nod i call it the universal head not when you say something that everybody else feels and and everybody kind of sits across from...
you and just does this because all of a sudden what happens you know you're not alone you know you're not alone and i think you know i mean i would just be curious like how many people in here there's a lot of people in here have struggled with anxiety in the last year and i want you to leave your hand up just for a minute and i want you to feel the power of presence and the power of not being alone and how silly we are to not share that okay we can put it down how silly we are to not share it because we are in such good company and i think most of us do i don't know do you feel like people share it do you feel like people are honest about it no it's not a long answer but no i don't i don't think most people have relationships with people around them where they are willing to open up and share which is why we hit on community so much here that one of the key vehicles for transformation for widening that tolerance zone is authentic relationships we just weren't made to live this life alone i also think that people don't think that people care enough like they think i what do you care what i'm dealing with inside of here which is sad but i think that's a cool thing can we ask the audience sure like why why is it hard to share i think it's it would be great to hear from you guys pride pride shame people leave feeling like a burden feel different you know what's funny none of those have in common things that are of the spirit of...
god and uh and i don't say that to shame anyone but shame pride uh with fear none of those have in common the spirit of god you know my wife is a counselor and studies even show one of the reasons therapy is even helpful for people is just talking about it does diminish those feelings of anxiety it kind of gets it out from this vague feeling of fear and worry and anxiety and it puts it out on the table and so sometimes one of the

health

iest thing you can do is just try to articulate it because sometimes we get stuck because i don't even know what i'm feeling and just try to put words around it and articulate it and when you do especially with trusted other believers you'll begin to experience more peace some a sense of deeper freedom yeah well since we're talking about this specifically where's the next question personally i know that all three of you have talked about struggling with anxiety or depression panic worry stress in some way and just let us in maybe one or two have you led us into whether it was a season something current and how do you either fight it or how did you get out of that season uh what does it look like for you personally i know you just said bring people in but practically more practical yeah say it out loud i think is you know why i went through this season where i was i would have a panic attack even around speaking and this is my job and so it feels like like my livelihood is is going out the window and this thing that god...
called me to do and when i talked to an expert you know who was an expert he just said you should just tell them that like you should just say that and so i i learned about something called cognitive behavioral therapy which if you go to someone to treat anxiety they're going you're going to there's two roads there's there's medicine and there's therapy and medicine works really well for some people and therapy works really well for some people and so i was in the therapy camp that that was very helpful to me and it was interesting what this this uh therapist prescribed to me was he wasn't a christian which you know i i that that's just where i was that day you know the the life raft was this guy who wasn't a christian but he knew that i very much was and uh or i am and um and he's still a christian and that's good news it's good news and he was just like hey just you you should you should meditate you should dwell on a thought you should focus deep into it he's like you know you know what you do i think you call it prayer and i was like that's so fascinating that what this guy the the latest greatest start of the state of the art treatment was really something

david

did 3 000 years ago god prescribed 4 000 years ago right i meditate on your law day and night it is like honey and and just if you think about paul in the new testament in in philippians 4 he says do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer...
and petition with thanksgiving present your request to god and the peace of god which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in christ jesus and i've heard

david

teach this even recently he's not saying don't be anxious because that's not helpful he's saying don't be anxious without prayer and if you think about what he's saying saying do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer which is prayer and petition which is prayer with thanksgiving which is prayer he says don't be anxious but pray pray pray and we think oh man like yeah you know preacher man you're supposed to say that like band-aid on my wound and it's like but no no like deep contemplative prayer actually heals both because god responds to prayer but also we were made for prayer and like we right now we don't have time for prayer this thing is the enemy of prayer like it hates prayer satan is using this to destroy your prayer life like like i don't know how many like how many of you by show of hands like prayed for more than 30 minutes straight today like you sat there for 30 minutes and you prayed right way less hands in that in that interesting like lots of us were anxious in the past year but very few of us prayed for longer than 30 minutes and again i'm not saying this to shame you but to help you i think there is a solution like nobody here is going to pray for for 30 minutes straight and be a worse person like...
it's only going to be helpful and then he goes on in verse 8 and says think about whatever is pure whatever is right whatever is true whatever is noble whatever is admirable or lovely if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about these things he's saying again he is prescribing in the new testament cognitive behavioral therapy it's the same thing that i paid 250 an hour to be prescribed to me and it's not a platitude or cliche and and you may need medicine like like some of your own medicine you may need medicine that that's that's awesome that can be a really helpful tool to get you to a place where you can then pray with a clear mind but but all of us should practice long extended contemplative prayer that's good so i'll share about what i'm going through right now just because i think maybe it could encourage you so i i came back from a little short sabbatical this summer and and i'd done that because i had hit burnout last year in a way that scared me and so i took this break i came back and i had so much anxiety that it was physical again and i'd had that years ago but i hadn't had it in a while and it hit me in a way that i was having a um such a physical reaction that i knew i needed help and so i started going to um group therapy which i think is helpful i know we're talking a lot about therapy but you know what we talk a lot about the bible here and i think church is a good place to talk about what it looks...
like to apply the bible and so when we're talking about these conversations i want to be really clear therapy is not an answer it is not a fix-all it only my husband always says it only works if it works but what it does is it for me it has helped me take what i believe into my life and into my living and into my soul where where i am not as scared because what i learned in group therapy this year was that largely my 12 year old self is scared of things that and i know this sounds crazy to some of you unless you've done therapy and you're like no it's true it's really happening and i say that because i think it's important that we realize that we are a sum of our parts that there's not some individual place in our lives where we can just decide in our thinking and read a verse and put it on our mind and all of a sudden we're healed and we should no longer be anxious we live in such under such shame and condemnation that we're anxious that we can't ever actually get to the root of why we are anxious there's a voice in our head that's telling us i'm scared i'm scared i'm scared and then there's another voice that's judging the voice that's telling us we're scared and that voice is the one that's actually wearing you out the other voice of saying i'm scared prior to 12 i used to say that i used to say i'm scared mom help but at 12 i learned that there were certain things expected of me and i...
had to you know measure up and i needed to meet the expectations in the room and they were never going to be spoken but but i would need to know what they were and then i would need to meet them and some of them were impossible to meet but i would still need to meet them and so this voice started in me at 12 years old that that was i'm scared and don't say it in fact don't be scared and and meet all these expectations and so what that does to someone over time is rather than just saying you know what and this is what i want to be sure we're really good at as believers which a lot of us are we need to be honest about what's going on and the reason we need to be honest about what's going on is because confession is not just about sin what to confess means to be truthful to tell the truth to confess what is true we have to say what is true or we're going to stay stuck for a long long time the freest people i know are the ones that admit that they're stuck and they need help and you go to regen oh my goodness those stories they get up there they share what's going on in their life and i want to be that way but honestly even just this year i've had to practice being that way so last night we'll be really current i'm in a small group with my friends and i'm learning like when you don't want to say something say that thing and so everybody's gone around in their small group and said the thing and it's my turn and i have...
something that is just boiling up inside of me and i'm like i need to go to bed it's 10 15. we need to be done and then i knew like i'm supposed to say the thing i'm not supposed to say and i i cried pretty hard and i shared what i was stressed about and what i was feeling and i got texts my phone is probably blowing up right now still from them because they began to fight for me and they begin to say hey no you're not going to go down like this let us tell you how we're going to support you and be around you and walk through this with you there is power in saying it out loud there are so many reasons to say it out loud because one i got it off my chest like

david

talked about two i had an army come around me and be praying for me and helping me in the last 24 hours and three i said what was true so that perhaps i could begin to deal with it it's a beginning place it's not the end place but i'm very worried about what i just heard of how many people aren't quick to say that they're struggling and what i want to be clear about too is is we don't say it so we can stay there we say it so that we can get free right it's not something that we need to find our identity in and forever be defined as i'm someone who has anxiety we are all people that have anxiety we all are and so what we also are are people that are filled with the spirit of god and more than conquerors and able to to fight this together never alone i don't...
know anybody that's gotten very free alone that's good yeah um i think on the note of the importance of having people in your life the ch

allen

ge and courage come alongside um there was a story a friend of mine told me that um was a fascinating engaging story it was a time he went to six flags and they have this huge i think they used to have it i don't know if they have it anymore where you could go up and you could see the city it's like a huge elevator you go up and you see the city he said he went up with his group and it stopped at the top and it got stuck and it was stuck for five hours oh and anxious listening yeah and they're stuck in this glass box hundreds of feet up in the air and they tried to get it down they tried to get it down they've got workers kind of coming up all around them and eventually and there's kids i mean it's six flags so it's like families kids people all in this little box he said the kids were like doing totally fine it was the adults who were freaking out and he said eventually they opened the ceiling and this uh rope ladder was thrown down no and each one of them had to climb up and walk down the catwalk all the way down hundreds and hundreds of feet in the air and he said afterwards there were phobias that developed with other people and we were talking about just that topic of fear and kind of these more acute focused fears and how do you fight them and um and i was just asking him because uh he uh it was...
dts professor head of counseling and i was saying so in that moment how would you encourage somebody like just hold on to hey i'll never leave you don't forsake you he said no that's that's all cerebral you can tell them that verse but until they have they have an associated negative emotional attachment to heights now and they have to replace that associated emotional attachment from a negative one and replace it with a positive one and one of the ways that they do that is by having relationships friends that encourage them and help them take those steps so in other words phobias from elevators developed as a result of that and they had that people come alongside of them and not just say hey get on the elevator it's going to be fine that works for some people it doesn't work for everybody but to have people that go hey we're going to take a step i'm just going to step on the elevator i'm going to take a step we're going to step back off the elevator and we'll just let it go then we're going to take another step and i'm going to be right here with you we're going to go and we're i'm going to not just allow you to sit in that phobia i'm gonna help you and come alongside now what's that have to do with you know most of us don't have fears of phobias of elevators but we do have trust issues from past relationships we do have issues where we don't we have traumatic experiences with a family member or...
a father or maybe your parents fell apart and having other people in your life that encourage that come alongside that tell you it's true but they also are going to encourage you to take that next step hey not every guy is like that not every marriage ends that way and i'm going to call you forward to be who god is calling you to be to be who you ultimately want to be and encourage you and spur you on and walk alongside and bear galatians 6 says one another's burdens together so that's a long answer from all of us but it's good it's good stuff i think um yeah very cloud let's collab that's it y'all y'all all have talked a lot about the power of community in people and if i had to bet there's someone here right now who's feeling super alone they they have tried or they've been hurt and um or they just can't seem to like keep friendships or make friends um and i think that a lot of people they could have a lot of friends and still feel alone so people that struggle immensely with loneliness uh what would you say to them with what you're saying the answer is community community community they're like no i'm you don't know my circumstance i'm super alone i don't have community and you just wrote a book on it yeah i mean i think you're not alone that you feel alone i think the numbers are astounding with that as well we've got prior to covet three and five people said that they feel lonely so...
we've got you know probably i would say four and a half after four a half out of five that feel lonely post covered and so i think you're not alone in feeling alone and what's comforting about that is that probably other people need you and and need the same things and and so i think you know one of the best things i've ever heard about being a good friend or being a connected human that can help someone else heal is to help people feel seen safe and soothed and i say those three words and i've talked about this i think i talked about it maybe even at awaken but seeing safe ensued those three words were so helpful to me because sometimes i'm the bad friend right it's not just that my needs aren't getting met with a friend it's that when someone shares me i want to share something with me and they share hey i'm anxious i want to fix it i want to help them fix it i want to solve the problem because i don't like negative emotions and i'm going to fix your problem so we can move forward and has that ever felt really good to people like that's never felt good to me i don't know why i do that to people but i do and what those words gave me was a plan so when someone is sharing something difficult with you which i think you all should do tonight i really do it's really gonna be fun you're gonna you're gonna find somebody and you're gonna share your anxious thoughts and it's going to be fun because here's...
the thing just like last night was for me with tears it actually i felt seen i felt safe and i felt soothed with those friends and there was something healing about it and and i will say it is not easy to do i was so uncomfortable i mean my my hands were sweating when i shared i started bawling i i rambled i i did all the thing it was awkward but i think being awkward to be whole and

health

y is very worth it and so what i would say is is practice this together and if you're good at this i absolutely promise you you will have friends if you make people feel seen safe and soothed you will have more friends than you know what to do with because nobody makes other people feel that way if you listen and you don't judge and you don't fix and you comfort them and you nod and you care and you say i'm so sorry and that must have been so hard and then before you launch into a sermon stop yourself you will have more friends than you know what to do with yeah and i know we're um running long so i'm gonna try to say this really quick and and i have to say this because because i'm big on community if you don't have community you need community but i want to say something else on this topic of of aloneness or loneliness is a huge benefit of christianity is there's this repeated line in scripture over and over when god says something once it's important he says it twice it's really important if he says it like 17 times you need to really listen and...
he says never will i leave you and never will i forsake you and there may be a day where you are all alone like there may i mean truly there might be a day where i don't know what's going to happen i don't know what the future holds but you're not because the benefit of christianity is that you're with god and so maybe you're at this place where you where you really are thinking about ending it or doing something drastic i i want you to know that that god sees you he loves you and he has a plan for you and that's not platitudes i i mean he's crazy about you not some future version of you not when you get right not when you get your act together and not you know when you stop doing that thing you can't stop doing but like right now and and if you have trusted in jesus christ his death and resurrection for the forgiveness of your sins like literally you see the cross as a payment for all the wrong things that you've done you're going to be with him forever and ever and ever and ever and so instead of taking your life lose your life say god here it is i want to end it all but instead of ending it all i'm just going to give it to you what do you want to do with it you want me to move overseas and serve the poor or or care for lepers and and get a disease that could kill me on me i'll do it i'll do whatever you want you want me to go fight a war i'll fight a war you want me to stay here and wage war in corporate america...
and share the gospel with a stranger like i'll do anything or here's my life instead of me taking my life you take my life i'm at at the end of my rope you take it and and this is it and then i'm done i won't say anything else i found myself really alone one day and it wasn't at the low it was at a high i had just written a book i had just built a house my house had this booth that i had designed that i was so excited about in the kitchen i was sitting at that booth and i felt so alone and i was just like god do you even see me like i'm here i'm doing your work do you even see me and i remembered tommy nelson talking about his depression and just just feeling so alone he was walking through his garden and he saw a dead sparrow and he remembered in matthew chapter 10 that god says the sparrow doesn't hit the ground apart from my will and two sparrows are sold for a penny do not i not love you so much more than them and i just thought okay he loves me like a sparrow and my phone rang and i'm telling you the truth my phone rang and it was a friend from college i hadn't talked to in you know over a year and i said hello and and he's like what's up p and i was like what are you doing he said you're not going to believe it man and i was like no what are you doing and he goes man i found these sparrows in my mailbox i'm on my way to some bird sanctuary to make sure they live dead serious i'm still sitting at that booth...
and god in his kind way just said you're not alone i see you i'm going to be with you soon hang on would you hold on stay in there stay in the fight i got work for you to do and and i'm so glad i'm so glad that i get to be with you here tonight i'm so glad that i get to be with these friends yeah so good thank you for saying that i i want to wrap this up and then

david

you can lay in the plane i uh i think okay i think we need to talk about social media just to kind of wrap it up because i think that a lot of us just like we don't know what to do with anxiety we don't know what to do with you we know all know social media causes anxiety it causes comparison cause all these issues social media it's satan's using this satan's using this and actually jp i heard you say this at a luncheon not too long ago you said we're all aware of it but no one's doing anything about it and i've thought about that multiple times since you said that and i think i know that i want to hear more about the tension y'all are in because if i had to guess a lot of these people are following you theory on social media and they're doing it because they want to learn from you they want to learn more about these things they want to they want to be fed spiritually they want to look up to leadership and all those different things there's good intent and social media can be a powerful weapon we know that but all three of you are on it i'm on...
it most people like the same if you said who's on social media but the same amount of people would raise their hands um that also they struggle with anxiety and so you were kind of waging that war jp of saying like we all know it's this but we're all still posting and we're all still doing it and no one's doing about it how should we think about social media and the power that the enemy is using it for and then how also though like god is using it and like looking forward how would you lead us and how we should interact with it yeah i mean i mean fast fast from it regularly and so i just saw you know today i take uh um off an hour a day a day a week a week a month mike kelsey says that a lot and i think that's a really good practice when when you do that 30 minutes of prayer make sure your phone's in the other room when you go to your profile to see how many followers you have just know that that's harmful to you most likely i mean maybe you're stronger than me but i'll just speak firsthand it's harmful to me to to begin to count followers my brain is constantly optimizing to know that if i post like this i get more likes and you know that kind of thing and and so i have to really watch that um because i don't want to find identity in those things uh if it's a fast from it for for seasons and maybe do away with it all together like nobody's going to get to heaven and be mad that they had to live life without instagram or...
or tick-tock right i mean you see the latest dance or whatever it is like you're gonna be okay without the trends and um and so i mean there's there's nothing new under the sun it's it's i i don't have any better advice or counsel than that i can't improve on that it's just is fast from it and do away with it all together if you need to hebrews 12 says run the race has set before you throwing off the burden and the sin i think the more that you have a race and you know what your vision is then your days are busy and your days are full and the less we think about ourselves and the less we think about what's wrong in the world and the more we're about the work right in front of us you know i mean scripture says that live a quiet life work with your hands i think that's so interesting and i think we need to be okay and content doing hard work and doing good work many of you have jobs where you can browse the internet during the day in your job don't don't do the work that's in front of you love the people that are in front of you take care of your little sphere your little circle and you just have less time for it you just start you don't have as much time to be on it that's good live the life that god intends you to i mean was she saying we focus on the church so much on the don'ts don't don't don't don't don't no just get busy doing the things that god has for you to do for you are...
god's workmanship created in christ jesus to do good works which he has prepared in advance for you to do and it literally says walk in the works like poetry walk in the poem the poem that god has written before you were ever born he's written for you to walk in and as you do that you you know who has time for a tick tock some of you need to walk out of here and you need a life plan some of you the reason you're so anxious is you do not even know what you're doing your relationships are out of order you do not eat well you do not work out you do not have any schedule to your life you have chaos everywhere you need to go out and really practically lay out like hey i'm going to wake up at this time i'm going to spend time with god i'm going to work out i'm going to eat a little bit better i'm not going to drink so much at night or at all like you need to make choices and then hold each other accountable because those small things are like medicine they really are and god knew it and so this orderly life that he calls us to is actually a way of prospering and so it's fun i i i think it's fun to life plan and and i i like what you're saying and canoe yeah you mean here's the thing is i agree with what you're saying and it got me excited because i think we so often go don't feel that don't think that don't fear and it's just not helpful and i think what we need to do is get busy with this book and what...
he's called us to do in loving our people and as we do notice the burden and the sin in our life and throw it off but don't let it consume us and distract us from what we're supposed to be doing on on noted related to all of those things social media is not a bad thing or a good thing it's it's a thing like the apostle paul i think would have loved social media yeah i mean with a click of a button you can share the gospel with millions of people i mean how dope would that have been jenny i'm sharing the gospel with 10 000 people and yet i think what both of them pointed to is doing an audit of asking hey what is happening and auditing my feelings my emotions my thoughts my take what does it mean to take every thought captive it means that just like when you go to the airport and you have a bag and you're going through security and the guy looks at it and he's like man you got a pocketknife in here bro we got to take this away you're going to jail he's going through and making sure the wrong things are not in that and i think as it relates to our thoughts anytime i'm feeling like auditing man i get on there and i feel depressed i get on there when i'm distracted because i don't have a plan and so i just kind of gravitationally drift to that and auditing the feelings and thoughts that i'm having and how is it contributing auditing when i find myself going hey man how many people are following me or auto auditing when i...
find myself going oh man i'm so discouraged because i see how amazing their life is and how disappointing i am how disappointed i am that i she just got engaged i'm always the bridesmaid never the bride and auditing those thoughts and i think that's a lost art i don't think that people do and i certainly candidly i'm not always great at that and i have to do that to the lord and say here's what i'm feeling god here's what i'm thinking here's what is going on in my heart and going to god honestly and sharing the things that i'm feeling it's good a theme i've just heard throughout tonight is let people in and be honest you just have to be honest with yourself and quit playing the game and got to be honest gotta start being honest so could you help me thank our friends jp jenny

david

actually went jp would you mind uh praying for us and then

david

you could talk to us a little bit too father we just need your help there's the enemies lying to us and he's telling us that we can't tell anybody that we're struggling and so would you stir in us by the power of your holy spirit a courage to be known to be vulnerable um even tonight like just there's someone i know that is just like i can't do that and i pray that they would turn to the person to the right or the left and find a safe place and that that person would have the courage to put their arm around them and stay with them until they're helped until...
they get the aid that they need and so lord if there's anybody in this place watching online listening later right now driving in their car wherever they're at father would you remind them that you love them in the same ways that you have me so many times would you remind them that you love them that you have a plan and a purpose for their life that is worthwhile would you even give them a vision for it and would you surround them with people who know them and love you and love them and know you and would offer them godly accountability father i thank you so much for jesus i thank you that you purchased a glorious inheritance for us in eternity and that you're keeping it safe and that you sealed us by your holy spirit and that in this world as we have trouble you are preserving us and so as our bodies are wasting away like jars of clay as they're being broken lord i pray that you would preserve us that you would strengthen us and in the midst of temptation that you would strengthen us and that you would lead us according to your will in the name of your son jesus christ amen amen this i i shared earlier that i would share from mark chapter four and i'll say this this series on anxiety and

mental

health

and punctuated everything we've just gone through the last four weeks my son when he was three and four and even sometimes today at five he'll come into our room late at night three in the morning and he'll walk in and he'll come over to my...
bed and he'll wake me up and he'll say dad dad there's monsters underneath my bed and i always find myself going uh you know waking up and seeing it looks like children of the corn this silhouette of somebody walking at me just dad ah and if i'm honest there's part of me that that that kind of loves that he does that and here's why it's not because i like being woken up at three in the morning it's because when he does that it it communicates something it communicates that he believes that if i have a problem i can go to my dad and that he can do something about it whatever monsters are there i can go and my dad is strong enough to handle it in mark chapter 4 jesus he's on this boat and the disciples are out in the middle of this lake it's late at night and they're rowing across it says that jesus was asleep in the middle of the boat on a cushion and a great storm hit all around him and the disciples began to panic and these were fishermen for a living they'd seen storms they were used to storms but the word used was it was like an earthquake on the water i mean it'd be the equivalent of pilots that man they fly through turbulence and they're okay but when the pilot's beginning to freak out about the turbulence that's essentially what happens and they go to jesus and they wake them up and jesus asks a really interesting question the disciples say lord don't you care that we're we're perishing...
we're going to die and jesus gets up from that cushion and he walks and he says be still and the water turns to glass and then he asks what i think is so profound he says why are you so afraid and why is that profound think about what he said i mean the disciples are going what do you mean why are we afraid we were about to die the boat was going to turn over what do you mean why are we afraid this is the plane is going down in midair and we're all freaking out and you're like hey guys what's going on why are you so afraid what do you mean why are we afraid do you not have any faith don't you know who's with you the god he wants us to walk through this life with the type of relationship that whatever i face my god is strong enough to calm the storms like a father is strong enough to face the monsters under the bed he is with me and he's invited me to bring all of those things to me because he's strong enough to deal with them and he cares for me and he cares for you and i hope you leave with an understanding that is who your god is the wind and the waves obey him he is nearer he's nearer to you than the breath that you breathe and your god is strong and he is for you if you've never trusted in jesus you're not going to experience the peace we talked about in this series because you don't know the prince of peace you don't know the one who gave his life so that you would spend eternity with god for forever not by how good...
you are but by receiving him as the payment for your sin tonight is your night and god in a moment of faith just saying god i believe that i receive that i accept that your eternity will never be the same your ability to experience peace in this life will actually be possible and tonight the god who is there who two thousand years ago gave his life for you is inviting you into that for those of us who do know him we're gonna worship one last time in song and father we thank you that you have made a way through the cross by what you did in our place for us to have peace in this life and eternity forever thank you for jenny and jp and jd just a chance to talk about ways that you invite us to peace would you allow us to live in that freedom we worship you now in song amen