Matt Damon Acts Out His Film Career w/ James Corden

TONIGHT'S ROLL CALL WILL BE A CELEBRATION OF THE FILM CAREER OF THE ONE, MR. MATT DAMON! ALRIGHT. OK. MATT, ARE YOU READY TO DO THIS? MATT: I'M READY. JAMES: THEN LET'S GO. MATT: Hey, do you like apples? JAMES: WHAT? MATT: DO YOU LIKE APPLES? JAMES: YES. MATT: WELL, I HAVE YOUR NUMBER. HOW DO YOU LIKE APPLES? JAMES: COWARDS! MATT: WHERE'S CLOONEY? JAMES: WELL, I'M GEORGE CLOONEY. OBVIOUSLY. MATT: YES. ALRIGHT. WE ROB A CASINO. JAMES: WAIT! WE'RE GOING TO ROB A MANSION ON LAKE COMO! MATT: WE ROB MORE CASINOS! JAMES: YES! MATT: OKAY. I'LL CALL THE BIG TWO.

I WILL PLAY. DO NOT SPLASH THE POT. JAMES: ARE YOU IN A GIVEAWAY, MIKE? THROW THIS ONE. AND IN MY CLUB, SPLASH THE BOAT WHENEVER I WANT! DO YOU WANT MUSIC? MATT: NO. JAMES: LET'S HAVE SOME MUSIC! ♪ WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO BECAUSE I'M NOT PLANNING TO GO ALONE, WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO, I WANT CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN ♪ MATT: JUST SHUT UP! JAMES: WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS PRIVATE RYAN? MATT: I'M RIGHT HERE. WAIT, WHAT IS SIR? JAMES: I'M TOM HANKS. MATT: Okay. TOM HANKS. ♪ MATT: THIS WILL BE A BIG IMPACT FOR MY TEAMS.

AND TO NASA. AND TO THE WHOLE WORLD. BUT I'M STILL ALIVE. SURPRISE. HERE'S THE PROBLEM, IT'S GOING TO BE FOUR YEARS FOR ANOTHER MISSION TO REACH ME, SO I HAVE TO PRODUCE WATER AND GROW FOOD ON A PLANET WHERE NOTHING GROWS. JAMES: EARTH GREETINGS, WELCOME TO MY PLANET. MATT: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JAMES: WELL, I HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET. "THE MARTIAN" DOESN'T COME OUT UNTIL FRIDAY. MATT: THAT'S RIGHT, "THE MARTIAN" RELEASES IN CINEMAS EVERYWHERE THIS WEEKEND, THE WEEKEND OF OCTOBER 2ND. JAMES: I'M JASON BOURNE! I'm JASON BOURNE! I'M STILL JASON BOURNE! JAMES: Did you buy a zoo?

MATT: NO, WE BUYED A ZOO. MATT: A BURGER COMING SOON. WOW! ANOTHER HAMBURGER IS COMING. ONE LAST BURGER IS COMING. MATT: THAT WAS AMAZING. YOU ARE THE BEST PIANIST IN THE WORLD. I WANT TO BE EVERYTHING TO YOU, SCOTT. I WANT TO BE A FATHER, BROTHER, LOVER, BEST FRIEND. MATT: I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. MATT: MARK WHITACRE, SECRET AGENT 0014. JAMES: WHY 0014? MATT: BECAUSE I'M TWICE AS INTELLIGENT AS 007. JAMES: THE ADJUSTMENT OFFICE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE ADJUSTMENT OFFICE. MATT: YEAH, OKAY. GOOD. THE NEXT. JAMES: SHOOT, MR. LABOEUF! MATT: TOO FAR. MOVING TOO FAST.

JAMES: YOU SEE, THE TRICK IS TO FIND YOUR SWING. MATT: WHAT DID YOU SAY? JAMES: WELL, YOU LOST YOUR SWING. WE HAVE TO GO FIND HIM. IT IS NOW SOMEWHERE IN THE HARMONY OF ALL THAT IS, ALL THAT WAS, ALL THAT WILL BE. FREEZE! MATT: DOWN THE GUN! JAMES: RAISE YOUR HANDS! YOU HAVE NOT COME HERE TO TALK. You came here to be arrested. YOU MAY BE A SANGUIGUIN. YOU KNOW IT. YOU CAN BE VERY BORING. MATT: IT'S A FUNNY THING BECAUSE I'M NOT PRETENDING TO BE ANYONE ELSE. AND YOU. JAMES: BORING. JAMES: -- MATT: I AM ABSOLUTELY HONEST WITH YOU.

JAMES: BORING. I HAVE TOLD YOU MY FEELINGS. I REALLY, REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE ON THIS BOAT WITH YOU. I CAN'T MOVE WITHOUT YOU MOVING. IT GIVES ME CHILLS. MATT: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! ♪ TU VUO' FA' LL'AMERICANO MERICANO MERICANO FEEL'A ME CHI T' 'O FA FA' TU VUOI VIVERE ALLA MODA MA SE BEVI "WHISKEY AND SODA PO' TE SIENTE 'E DISTURBA TU VUO' FA' LL'AMERICANO MERICANO MERICANO MA SI' NATO IN ITALY SIENT' A MME NUN CE STA NIENTE 'A FA' OK NAPULITAN TU VUO' FA' LL'AMERICA TU VUO' FA' LL'AMERICA TU VUO' FA' LL'AMERICA ♪ JAMES: MATT DAMON, EVERYONE, WE'LL BE BACK WITH MATT AND ZACHARY LEVI!