LOST TAPE! When Walter Was Small and Jeff Had a Mullet | JEFF DUNHAM

hello friend Jeff Dunham on Walter and I guess Court leads your sound another

lost

tape

this is a scary

lost

tape

not so scary wait until they see you let your be this 1991 1991 we're in a little comedy club we're getting ready for a La appearance on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson is just where you yourself did a little standard yeah, it's a little scary I think that's cool, that's not so cool, that's good, no, it's not, yeah, Walter, you two They look a little different on tape. I know what the hell. I thought

when

you get older you're supposed to get

small

er somehow.

Now I'm older and I'm bigger. It was an older version of you. I don't know what that means, just look at whatever it is before Peter comes and finishes things. One last gentleman I would like to introduce you to and I think the public enjoys this guy because everyone knows someone like that. You know someone like that in your own family or at your workplace, but his name is Walter. Good evening, Walter. Shut up, do you know where we are? They are yes, I know where we are, I don't give a damn, you hate this damn job, you want to get out of here, where do you want to go, who the hell cares, where did you go last weekend?, no, I don't.

Not to talk about that, it's very nice Walter, his wife went on a second honeymoon mmm it's like eating a piece of gum that you've already chewed look, you know what I'm talking about, we'll take the honey one, come on, what do you want to know? Well, how was everything? I did well, that's what I was wondering well, I don't want to get too personal, of course not, there's a lot of heavy breathing, heavy breathing, some twisting, some moaning, a little bit of sweating and then it took. her medicine and she was fine, what do you do?

I write greeting cards that's all, what the hell are you laughing at? Damn drunks, they're not drunks, they're a great group of people. I don't care, I just want to leave. you like to go well I guess not, why not because then I have to get in the trunk or that damn purple idiot is like that's not heroin Walter, could you quote us a couple of your best greeting cards? Well, card, how's that going? Sorry to hear you're sick, rubbish, well this is a lovely group of sorts here tonight. Yes, do you think we can take advantage?

One second, excuse me, I'll take advantage of the crowd for a minute or you have good intentions. you know we have the tv ad coming up oh we have a tv ad coming up we're going to use some old jokes and some new jokes you're not a flu try some of the new ones we'll let you off the jury it's all downhill from here have you ever thought about therapy oh no i don't believe in it no no but my wife needs to leave once she did it yeah she did something good oh yeah talk to the guy for about half an hour yeah Did anyone else shoot? himself, okay, like that one, what do you know, like a couple of these guys here, you know you're losing your hair, oh hell, I know and you'd like them to tell you or mindlessly hurt our trip, Well, you know there are some. things you could do for your hair no, I think it's useless, you think so well Haley, a look at Star Trek from the 23rd century, they haven't found a cure yet, I'll stick with that one too, how about the Hair Club for Men, oh hell? mojo there not only am I the president and clay in cheese weenie that guy why don't we go one step further and find the guy who invented your pens not only did he invent two things I'm using one right now he was sociable?

That's okay, let's talk about relationships for a second. I understand your wife is in town. Oh, she's having a good time. She always has a good time. Well, you've been married for a long time. When do you think a couple has achieved a truly long time? -long term stability in their marriage

when

one of them is a nekoma now, what would you say if I were to get married in Leon Miracle? I mean, what kind of advice would you give a guy like me? Tupperware, what Tupperware, Tupperware, yes, it is light and hurts less. when he hits you, it bothers your wife a lot, yeah, I don't know, she's getting older, you're both getting older, yeah, she shows more Heather than I think.

She has liver spots, even in the tanning bed she exploded, yeah, to hell with that. Walter, let me ask you this, how is your house, your house, your love life, oh you will need the section, don't have it dangerous, it can be deadly these days. Not for you and your wife, our faithful Inola, keep the joy of having done it. you convinced her you can get it at that moment by doing it too much why I don't know I guess sex got old you already got old what do you think during sex staying awake good majority it worked why the new jokes yeah hey I could Drink the whole bottle a little bit of Musil and I still don't give a shit.

Can we do that on The Tonight Show? Well, anyway, Walter, back to the greeting cards. Hell, whatever. You seemed a little grumpier tonight. But. you know what it is maybe too saved too saved you do your usual hell I'm about three years ahead of schedule let's see, let's listen to the other greeting card What's up, let's see? How about a late birthday? How's that going? I'm sorry. I missed your birthday I thought you were dead Sent back to my wife Walter Why are you so down about love and Matt? Why have you been married for 38 years?

That's how it is. I thought making love got better with age. Hold on to that friend of your dreams. Walter, don't you have a greeting card that's a little more sentimental than the first one? Very difficult. I have one for people during love. Well, it goes like this. I love you like the sun over the oceans. I love you like the moonlight on the mountains. They say love is forever. that's wrong here we go