Kevin Hart Tried To Cut The Line At Traffic Court - CONAN on TBS

He has had trouble keeping his driver's license. This is not the case? We've talked about this before, but he had his driver's license taken away several times due to some violations. I swear I can't make this story up. I'm coming from

court

today I went to

court

today like no, I know, I know you're asking me a serious question. I swear to god. I was in court today renewing my driver's license again because it was suspended. I'm a speed demon you're a speed demon speed demon I'm not, I don't respect the law and I don't feel like I have to because I'm a sex symbol now, when you do this, when you do that, officer, no I don't get it No, I'm a sex symbol.

I feel like I'm supposed to go fast. Sexy people are supposed to drive fast. Yeah, no, but man, I don't know why I can't keep a license, man, it's the worst thing ever, but. today at the courthouse like this the officer recognizes me and says hey I'll get you out of here quick he takes me to the front I literally tell the guy I said guilty I just want to pay it so it's okay. so to give me my paper so I can go pay it there is a long

line

of people paying so I said you know what I'm going to try to bribe the person in front I'm going to say look uh I'll pay you a fine if you let me go in front of you, so my friend says no, don't do that, let's call one of the cops and see if he can, you know, get you in front, I said, okay, the guy puts me in the The officer in front gets He approaches and puts me in front.

It is a true story. There's always one guy in

line

and he yells why he can cut everyone down. And I'm standing there. I'm just standing there and I happen to look and everyone in line is Mexican and I was like there's nothing I can say to not sound racist. I was like, uh, I'm famous and uh, that never works, not only did it not work, not only did it not work, the guy says, listen. I've been here for an hour you have to open another window or he won't go and a girl calls herself snatched from me and it was like the worst defense case I've ever seen in my life she said you need I understand that people how he makes us happy and this is our way of showing our gratitude.

That is fantastic. No, it wasn't a fantastic offense. She got booed badly when you have to tell people you're famous. It's never good. It's never good. How dare you? you're famous we have to get to these real hollywood husbands this is some kind of fake reality show it's the most fake and real reality show you'll ever see on television that's the best way to describe it for those who don't know I basically made a show television in which I make fun of reality. When you think of rally TV shows, you think of basketball wives, you think of Housewives of Atlanta and Orange County, so everyone always talks about this, these things are wrong, these women. just fighting and arguing, so I said I wanted to make fun of it, so what I did was put together a group of men who weren't afraid to make fun of ourselves and we basically made our lives beautiful.

Me, Nick Cannon, Boris Kojo, Robin Thicke, Dwayne Martin Faison. I love Nelly, a bunch of a bunch of great people, JB Smoove, we're all on this show and it's the most hilarious and frenetic, I guess you could say, uh, outrageous behavior you'll see in men, okay, we have a clip here, this is me. I don't know if we need anything to set it up, they're probably not real Hollywood husbands, we just set it up, it's a sexy clip, so my snowboard hits a rock and then I go flying through the air, hitting a cabin when I wake up. up mick jagger is giving me hot chocolate no way with cognac yeah that's crazy really mick jagger how old is he now, what is he dead and a half?

I don't want to talk about that, why don't we talk about what's old-fashioned? this hair is whoa come on

kevin

this is my friend there's no reason to keep disrespecting him like that no dude but don't worry nelly you know what that's really funny

kevin

you should do stand-up uh you know I stand up and you know what I'm one of the best at it second best second best whose second best me you're a fucking lie I'm first best you know he stole my pickle joke I've been making that pickle joke for a long time years shut up jb