Kevin Hart on White Water Rafting

I'm going to tell everyone a funny story before I get ready to leave. I'm about to do a show where I'll do everything they say black people are afraid to do, like I'm bungee jumping, skiing, skydiving. having dinner with my family with the tv off, everything they say we as black people don't do, I'm about to do it, but before they gave me money to do the show, they told me: keev, we knew you're sure that we are going to do it, we don't want to give you money to do it and then the time comes to do it, you don't do it, you know what I'm saying.

I was like, I'll tell you what I take on my own. money I make it with my own money, they're okay, okay, let's do it that way, so me, my wife, my son, Naim, my friend Nate, we're all in chattano Tennessee. I'm about to do a theater chat in New Tennessee. I thought: do you know what we do? I'm going

white

water

rafting

. They told me, but listen, no one can act. We all have to be ourselves. I'm going to film it. It's good, awesome. It's going to be all that. Now we like the only black people in Chatt Tennessee at that time.

There were no other black people there, but before you become

white

, you have to drive a car. The car takes you to the bus. When you get to the bus, this is how you go down to the river. We were late for the bus, so all the seats. on the bus they are full, except for the back seats now I'm a comedian. I'm stupid, so I started walking. I thought damn, they're still racist, they expect black people not to show up haha ​​heh heh. kidding we sat in the back of the bus out of nowhere the bus driver got up he's like you guys in the back don't try to jump out that back door because there are park rangers out there and they'll shoot I was like uh where?

Did that come from how we like that we are with you? Well, this is a group thing, right, so no. That's my guy, so he stop complaining, man, we're trying to do this for you, we're trying to make you money, I'm like everyone. right, whatever, I'm not going to say anything, we got off the bus when you get off the bus, you're the instructor waiting for you, this guy, Nam Lance, he had one arm in the air, it's like hearts, where the hearts in I'm as. We, the hearts, come on, you will get into the

water

with me.

I approach him. This arm was in a cast from hair to hair. Everything was wrapped up and he had the thing holding it, so he said, come on. you guys are going to go in the water with me so you know I looked at him and thought, "I'm probably not going to go if they keep going with that he says, don't trust me, they're fine." Happ has been doing something else, you're fine. I said, "Okay, you know, let me talk to my family real quick, so I walked up to them. I said, 'Hey, look everyone, before we do this, I just want to.' I tell them all this.

I'm not going. to do it You like how it was Yeah, no, I don't think I'm going to do it. I don't really feel that comfortable, doing it with a cast on, so now he's like, stop being a man, we're doing this for you, We're trying to make you money, you know what I'm saying, you're the one delaying your success, I was like, okay, you're right. I'm not going to say anymore. I hope we die together. I'm sarcastic. So let's get there. old lady was giving the orientation. Patience. She was basically informing us about what we should know when we are in the water but she was like she was an idiot like she had no patience at all. everyone gather around, please, you're not the only group today, um, listen, I'm just going to say it. once, okay, first of all, if you fall, people don't stand up, I repeat, don't get up because your face can be caused by something we call facial flooding, you will die, your foot can go under the water, the rocks go on him. because your face moves on, the water is gone, you're dead, we had to get through, okay, um also listen, listen, listen, you fall with your anger, people, you must be part of your own rescue, which means you must help us help you, okay?

If you don't want to help us help you, you can help yourself, that's your choice, we've been paid, okay, that's up to you at this point, um, I got it, he said he didn't mean it, oh, here's the last one, but not. At least I have a Lifeline Lifeline looks like this 7 foot long Lifeline if you fall off the raft we can throw it to you if you are 8 feet away. I suggest you get to Seven, that's the only way we can bring you back with that. With that said, have fun, so I turn around and everyone straps on their stuff and puts on their helmets.

I was like, "Hey, look, you know, before we do this, I just want to tell you this for real this time." I'm not going to do it, yeah, I'm serious, I'm not talking about that, if I'm 8 feet tall, I better get the seven, no, no, you better get the eight, okay, like something personal is starting to happen. go out in all my In life, they have been telling me that I couldn't reach it because it was too small. Now you tell me you can't reach me. I paid for it. I'm starting to break down right now, like you, man, get your shit together, let's do this.

I was like okay. You know what I'm not, man, you'll sit in the front since you're so tough. Now me and na get on the front of the raft. We are here. My wife is here. My son. Nate is here. Lance is all the way in. The back now for those people who don't know the white water WRA is really dangerous as the water is going 40 50 m per hour you are like a pinball in a pinball machine every time you hit a rock you bounce , you bounce. bounce so we're in the water but we're not doing it wrong we're doing it well we're doing it pretty well come on oh it's fun scary but it's fun we hit a rock it bounces I turn around I don't I don't see Naim anymore, he's one of my closest friends, so now I'm scared, I'm worried, where is Naim?

I turn around and Naim's foot is caught in the clamp on the side of the r and we're dragging him like if, but he's. he was so scared he wasn't blinking, he was just looking at me like that so I was like, pick me up man, pick me up, pick me up now, I couldn't pick him up because I was laughing like you, you got that laugh when you get. that cramp like you know what I'm talking about he like get me out I can't man I got a cramp like get me out like I'm serious this hurts like hell man your eyes don't blink blink so I can Stop laughing so he finally stopped and blinked and I stopped laughing.

I get it back in a ra like me, that's all, take me back, I won't do this anymore. I'm like, do what you want to say, I'm not doing this anymore. He made me do it, let's break up, no, I'm serious, we started arguing. Lance was in the back and he said, "You better concentrate because the hellhole was getting closer. The hellhole was a waterfall that probably goes from that balcony to the ground." true, but it goes straight down the only way out of hell you have to ride the wave you don't ride the wave you get stuck in the middle they have to come and leave with Chopper because all the water floods the giraffe So they have to get you out safely .

I'm having so much fun. I start to talk. I am so small that I can lean on the front of the rav like a hood. Armament. It was like hell. I didn't want to do Titanic. I wanted to be original, so Lance, I'm serious. Focus, everyone, focus, we're going to hell. Lance was like everyone rowed, rowed, rowed, we all started rowing as hard as we could, it didn't look like we were going to make it out. a hellhole, so we all looked into each other's eyes at the same time, everyone jumped off the raft, we all jumped, I was saved, I didn't care about anyone, my wife, no one.

I came to a rock, turned around and saw my wife doing something. A strange type of doggy paddle trying to get to me, but when I saw her I didn't want her to see me because then she would want me to get back in the water and go get her. She wasn't going to do it. so I turned around and acted like I'd never seen her she's like Kevin help I like it where are you? where are you you have to be a part of your own rescue you have to help me help you she's like thank you I get it right now she finally made it to the rock this is the second time I've left someone for dead and they survived once again it was an awkward moment I didn't know what to say I was like hey look who became a swimmer eh up give me some they brought it, she didn't want to hear any of that so she climbs on the rock.

Nate climbs onto the rock. Lance is like a marine, you have to paddle in his mouth, he throws it out of the water and does a doggie paddle with one. arm is put on a rock I'm like okay, where's Naim? He's like my best friend. I'm worried right now. I don't know what to think because my friend is not here. I'm like Lance, where's my friend. Don't worry, he is underwater, he will appear, wait, what do you mean? He will appear as if he were to appear dead. He says, well, if he is, we can bring him back.

What are you waiting for? What do you mean by us? We can bring him back, man, no, we gotta go get him. Q when he appears, right, he is so afraid when he appears that he doesn't move his head, he looks ahead, he has his light vest, he rows like that and just looks straight ahead. Go ahead and blink, he blinks a lot, that's how he knew he was scared, this is the rock, baby, right where you are, that's where Naim is. I'm like you turn your stomach, you reach the Rock, I know he hears me because he blinks. but I hope he doesn't try to catch me like cold AIS or something because I don't know moris codes well so I think his stomach turns and he starts rocking this thing just keeps floating past the damn Rock.

I'm looking at him, he's looking at me blinking like I'm like, what are you doing? He started waving his oar in the air, which is why he waved his oar in the air because he wants someone to grab his oar and lift him up. I'm not tall enough to grab his paddle. I'm not even about to try to reach out and fall so I can be in the same situation as him. He didn't want that problem, so Nate told him to throw out the life preserver. I thought what if I need him, let him deal with this situation, so he goes in the middle of the raft, now he is doing this with his paddle in the middle of the river going back and forth because he wants someone to grab him, put him in a raft and like it.

I said we're the only black people there, all the other white families that were there are like semi-professionals, they do this all the time, they're like professionals, some parents used their kids as paddlers, they did tricks like it was something serious. I'm serious, my name is Muslim. Here's why I tell the story. He is muslim. He has been a Muslim his entire life. A serious Muslim. He is not a mediocre Muslim like him. One of those Muslims who read the back of packages. You know what I'm talking about, like hey man, you want a starburst, he let me see the package, give it to me, let me see it, I read that look, that's there, I told you, man, he's poor, he's one of them Muslims , TRUE? this is where I tell a story he's in the middle of the river waving his paddle back and forth this white guy is coming right at him the white guy hit his paddle on the road move man you're ruining the road I saw this with my own eyes move ruining the trail man Naim without hesitation he was like Jesus please help he didn't even ask Allah for help he didn't he went straight to Christianity he didn't he wasn't like H I'm about to die where you man he's like Jesus come out .

I told him he was a fake, that he should eat a pork sandwich to commit suicide immediately. Hey y'all been a great crowd man my name is Kevin Har thanks everyone I appreciate it.