Jessica Simpson Speaks Out About Her Alcoholism, Relationships, Childhood Abuse | TODAY

Jessica Simpson is once again singing new songs that will be released with her open book of memoirs and they are deeply personal. People will really understand me. I think for the first time you will see everything that I have been through and all the fears and the struggles that I faced and how I came out on the other side when you talk about yourself at 6 years old and I can imagine you at 6 and you talk about

abuse

, sexual

abuse

at hands of a family friend and meet a girl, I mean. How did you overcome that at that time?

I didn't really understand what was happening. I knew something was wrong. I knew it was wrong. What was happening was a very close person, yes, and she was being abused. It happened for a long time. in my life and I was a preacher's daughter like I was taught to be a virgin until I got married and you know, I never wanted to share these sexual things that were going on because I didn't want to hurt anyone and you. I finally told your parents and that took a lot of courage in my parents' reaction. They did the best they could.

You know, it's like it's kind of hard to hear from her. They ignored him. They ignored him with her words. but they took action and I never had to sleep over again and I never had to sing again, it was a constant in Jessica's

childhood

, she was good at it and people noticed it, but show business can be hard on a girl. teenager, you are young. They sign you to a record label and I have to lose and they have to lose 15. I have to go on a strict diet with soda in general, so what did you do?

Did you take diet pills diet pills like you didn't know what you were doing? I didn't know how much I was taking, it ended up being something I did for 20 years. Jessica's body and her love life quickly became the subject of tabloids when she saw Nick Lachey from 98 degrees, you looked and said, is he okay? Oh mom, that's the man. I'm absolutely getting married, you knew it, I knew it, yes I was 19, but I knew the couple got married three years later when Jessica was 22, my dad thought I was too young and I knew life had a lot to offer. me if he didn't.

I want something to stop me, but I was about to walk down the aisle. He says we don’t have to do this like dad, what are you talking about? We have a ride, no, the added pressure was that you guys decided when you were starting your marriage had cameras and you came out crazy from the first big type of reality TV, so I know he's tuned in, he says chicken by the sea, which caused the end. of the marriage, do you think it was the scrutiny of the cameras that everyone was watching? in your world or they just magnified what the problems already were.

I watched episodes back and I didn't like what I saw. I mean, I saw what people laughed at and what I loved, but I also saw a lot of eyes. filming and that wasn't just editing, that happened on and off camera. I think our success together was beautiful, but our success separately, yeah, it wasn't as accepted. Get the cover of Rolling Stone and he says: What about me? I was supposed to do it. being on the cover with me and they're right I didn't feel much resentment I felt like love wasn't enough I'm not a liar I can't stay in something and play a role I've tried many times in my life and I just can't do it, both Jessica and Nick continued forward.

Jessica finally found love with retired NFL player Eric Johnson. They married in 2014 after their children Maxwell Ace were born. Life was good until it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. present I knew something was in May 2017 Jessica appeared on Ellen and have you already written a song or are you just getting started? I'm probably around 38, so maybe 30 fans were wondering if I'd been drinking, I can't. I even watched the interview like I knew it's not you who can't watch it, yeah, it was a weak moment for me, yeah, and I wasn't in the right place. I had started a spiral and I couldn't recover and and that was with that was with alcohol Jessica said she drank constantly on Halloween 2017 it started at 7:00 in the morning I looked at the photos of all of you on Halloween and I swear I would have said you had the best Halloween You ever looked at Jess, she's dressed like Willie Nelson.

The photos look so cute on your instapage. Yes, he described drinking from a glitter cup. I always had a glitter mug and it was always filled to the brim, but with alcohol. No, that day you could. I didn't babysit your kids, it was a great day for them. I did not do it. I honestly couldn't even tell you who made them. I was dazed and confused and just wanted to go to sleep. I didn't take them. trick or treating i didn't show up for my family you know i took the picture and made the world think i showed up it was the alarm clock called

jessica

says she needed the next day she stopped drinking and started working with a therapist i just realized that I had to give up.

I mean, I just want to continue on the path that I'm on at this point in my life. Now I'm strong enough to deal with anything that comes my way because I don't have anything to retreat to that will numb me from going through it, he said he doesn't want to miss a moment and these days there are a lot of them. Jessica and Eric welcomed their third child. Bertie gave it to Johnson in March last year. faith is a theme throughout your book your life always seemed to me that you are the most peaceful when you sing Amazing Grace yes yes like something is wrong with you can you sing me a little Amazing Grace how sweet is the sound?

See as I do, it's about walking through fear and it's okay to be afraid and the other side of fear is what's so beautiful which is when you get the reward you