Illegally Downloading Music

If you've ever used LimeWire to

illegally

download a very low quality MP3 of Akon's 'Smack That', it's actually Afroman's 'Because I Got High', but the file is also mislabeled as Sandstorm by Stan, with Eminem in between. parentheses and oh! No, wait, nevermind, it's really just twelve viruses in a trench coat disguised as a song. I have a question for you! You wouldn't unload a fucking car, would you? The year is and I am five years old. Oh! Look at his giant head! As I play Space Cadet Pinball on my dad's heavy off-white Windows 98 desktop computer, farting and cumming, in Massachusetts, Sean Fanning and Shaun Parker, obviously played by Justin Timberlake, launch a little app called Napster. .

And Napster says, "Hello

music

industry, I'm Napster and um, I'm going to set you on fire." For the first time there is an easy-to-use tool available to the masses that allows you to download all

music

, in all countries, and my God, that's crazy. And this is pretty monumental because music had been around since the first time Adam said, "Everyone clap your hands," and Eve said, "Stop it, what's happening? Stop it!" And now, thanks to MP3, if you didn't go to college, you didn't have to buy a physical record, cassette or CD just to listen to a song.

CD? More like do you see these songs on my computer? You know what I am saying? Now Napster is super important not only because it allows you to download "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down very slowly and for free, but because it introduced peer-to-peer or P2P file sharing to the masses. What peer-to-peer means is that instead of one person uploading a file to a central server and then another person

downloading

that file from a central server, peer-to-peer cuts out the middleman and simply allows people to share files and dirty things. secrets directly from each other, the dirty little secret is obviously a reference to All-American Rejects' smash hit, uhh, "Move Along" *awkward laugh* moving-moving! p2p can be used to transfer all types of files, not just MP3s, and eventually it will!

I like it... I really like Laa... I really like porn. But Napster only lets you record MP3s, and Napster becomes very popular, eventually reaching 80 million registered users at its peak, which, if you know simple math, you'll know is more than four! But the AKA RIAA ain't got none of that shit. On December 7, 1999, just a few months after Napster's launch, the RIAA filed a lawsuit against Napster on behalf of the five major record labels: UMG, SME, WMG, EMI, BMG, KFC, CKY. Between its launch in 1999 and its closure in 2001, basically everyone and their dog tried to sue Napster.

A&M Records, Metallica, Dr. Dre, who is... uh, he said the famous phrase; But this was a lot of publicity for the app and only led to more and more people rushing to Napster to take advantage of the service before it was inevitably removed. The service finally closed on July 11, 2001, but it was too late: the effects were irreversible. The entire Internet had taken over Superman's seat and had been completely transformed almost overnight. But without Napster, where did people turn? Let me introduce you to my friend Kazaa. Oh, did you meet Limewire? This is my light little friend that will eventually be something very important...

And his name is BitTorrent! While Kazaa and LimeWire were the most popular apps immediately after Napster's death in 2001, they were both a little... silly - um uh-, a lil', a lil' Lil', a little drunk. . Maybe, maybe they were knocking on Grandma's wine rack. I don't know. LimeWire was launched in May 2000 by a guy named Mark Gorton, who has degrees from Harvard, Yale and Stanford and apparently all of them meant nothing when he created LimeWire. And Kazaa was launched in 2001 and was developed by some Scandinavian guys whose names I won't even try to pronounce, but who would later also help develop Skype.

What is this, the fucking History Channel? I don't look like an ice trucker. But also, more importantly, they were both absolute garbage for your computer. First I want to talk specifically about Kazaa. Kazaa here was closed source, meaning that to this day, people don't know exactly how it all worked. For example, the algorithm used to check that two files are actually the same. For example, if two guys upload "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child and are trying to verify that they're both the same so we can organize them, Um, you didn't do a good job. Which means you could download what you thought was "It's Been A While" by Staind, but surprise, motherfucker, that's Weird Al.

If you're

downloading

any software or video game that contains some ".exe", please put one point "Ex", excuse me from my computer before I invite 17 really cool viruses into my house. And hey, remember our friend RIAA? They were doing it too, yes! They were waging war against illegal music downloading by spreading fake and corrupt files on Kazaa. Isn't the Internet so crazy!? Another small but also huge drawback of the application. Um, it was riddled with adware. And malware and spyw. Basically all the "ware" you can imagine, they had them. Warioware? Ace hardware? But regardless, Kazaa is having great success, from 2001 to 2004.

So strong that in 2003 our favorite friend, the RIAA, says "you know what?" "Fuck it, if we can't sue Kazaa, we'll just start suing a bunch of Kazaa users directly for a bunch of money, like college students. Why? FUCK THEM. That's why. You don't need a damn degree in business! Society is a lie! Anarchy! Dude, the players are the government! As you can imagine, traffic starts to slow down on Kazaa because users are afraid of going to jail and as users disperse towards other p2p services like LimeWire, in 2006 Kazaa's parent company, Sharman, gets sued by MGM in this huge lawsuit and ends up settling for the small amount of a hundred million dollars, which is a lot...

I'll do it... I mean , I'll rephrase it for my younger viewers so they can understand it better. It's like... it's like you took four of your mom's credit cards, yeah, yeah, like, "So many V-bucks!" You get it, I-yeah. I'm proud of you. Well, anyway what Kazaa and LimeWire had in common is... all the bad things. Mislabeled files. Malware Viruses. A really cool feature where every song is actually just Bill Clinton saying, "I didn't have sex with that woman! Miss Lewinsky." Limewire would eventually even release a version you could pay for called LimeWire Pro that promised better search results and faster downloads, but since life is funny and hackers always find a way around things, you can just download LimeWire Pro with LimeWire , which is the funniest thing in the world!

It wasn't perfect. It would probably require your parents' computer to go to Planned Parenthood and get tested for every STD imaginable. But damn brother. I have to download that new Avril Lavigne though! Although it was a beautiful disaster, LimeWire had a good run from 2000 until it was ordered closed in 2010. When the US District Court affirmed that LimeWire and its Ivy League creator, Mark Gorton, were found guilty of copyright infringement and unfair competition. . Hey, you remember your quiet, super low-key friend who is so fun and chill! Especially when he suggested that LimeWire owes the music industry $72 TRILLION in damages, which is more money than the Earth had at the time.

Which luckily the judge thought was ridiculous, and he settled for one hundred and five million, which is practically nothing. And over time, music, movies and TV shows gradually figured things out and evolved with piracy. Unlimited music for about $10 a month on Spotify is a beautiful evolution of the Internet's capabilities, and it's much better than risking downloading the Soulja Boy Travis Barker remix on LimeWire and risking infecting your dad's computer with a funny illness and also potentially being sued by the RIAA for downloading a Travis Barker production. So what the fuck is the point of all this?

OK that's fine. So yes, people will always want free stuff and that will never change, but also many people are willing to pay money and support content they care about if they feel that trust and respect is shown on both sides, but more. Most importantly, you can get LimeWire Pro with LimeWire! Is all for today. I really hope you are well and stay tuned for a message from our sponsor. thanks for watching the subtitles. Do your clothes look bad? Do your clothes make you feel like when you look at them and say, “Ah, fuck!” Well, here at Jakey, Jakey and Jakey, LAWYERS, WE CAN HELP.

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