YTread Logo
YTread Logo

I See Dead People: Dreams and Visions of the Dying | Dr. Christopher Kerr | TEDxBuffalo

May 29, 2021
Translator: Hélène Vernet Reviewer: Denise RQ I read a recent survey and the title was “Survey of American Fears,” and what Americans fear most is public speaking and

dying

. In other words, my TEDx talk. (Laughter) If that weren't difficult enough, tonight's topic is enlightenment, and the question really is: can death be enlightening? What we know about death is based on what we have observed as witnesses. We have all seen grim physiological deterioration and suffering, and we have all felt profound loss. So if there is light in the darkness of death, it is in experience, not observation.
i see dead people dreams and visions of the dying dr christopher kerr tedxbuffalo
So tonight I am going to share with you the words and experience of

dying

patients. And my hope is that you will hear what I have heard: the dying often describe the end of their lives in ways that are truly life-affirming and rich with meaning, love, and even grace. Before continuing, I must offer a few caveats. If I can't seem to sit still and pace back and forth, it's because it's true. (Laughs) The second is that, apart from my mother, no one has ever described me as particularly spiritual or enlightened. And believe me, this talk has nothing to do with the paranormal.
i see dead people dreams and visions of the dying dr christopher kerr tedxbuffalo

More Interesting Facts About,

i see dead people dreams and visions of the dying dr christopher kerr tedxbuffalo...

A much harder truth for me is that I have a deep aversion to the spiritual and non-physical aspects of death that dates back to my childhood. On August 6, 1974, I was 12 years old and standing at the bedside of my dying father, who was 42 years old. As I lay there, he reached out and started playing with the buttons on my shirt, and said we had to hurry; We had to take a plane. We were going to go north to fish like we had done before. And that was the last time I saw him. My point here is that I didn't choose this topic of death;
i see dead people dreams and visions of the dying dr christopher kerr tedxbuffalo
I feel like he has chosen or followed me throughout my life, personally and professionally. Like my father, I became a doctor. This may sound strange, but if you have an aversion to dying, medical schools are a pretty safe place to be. They never mention death, much less experience it. Medical training is learning to defy death, and when you cannot defy it, you deny it, in whole or in part. This approach to medicine worked for me when I was doing things like working in emergency rooms. But in 1999, through a series of unusual events, I ended up in this place called hospice.
i see dead people dreams and visions of the dying dr christopher kerr tedxbuffalo
In palliative care, curative science has not only failed the patient but has also abandoned the physician who is ultimately forced to be present. And when I was present at the bedside of the dying, I faced what I had seen and with so much effort I had tried to forget about my childhood. I saw dying patients reaching out and calling out to mothers, fathers, and children, many of whom had not been seen for many years. But what was surprising was that many of them seemed at peace. In April 1999 I was in the room of a patient I especially loved.
Her name was Maria. She was nearing the end of her life and her four children were also present. One day, Mary begins to cradle a baby that no one can see. She refers to him as Danny, a reference that no one understands. The next day, Mary's sister arrives from out of town and explains that Danny was actually Mary's first child, who was stillborn. Her loss was so profound that Mary could not speak of it during her lifetime. Yet as she dies, this indescribable loss returns to her in some form of tangible warmth and love. Mary, like so many dying patients, had physical wounds that could not be healed, but her spiritual wounds were tended to.
A few weeks later, I went and saw a young man named Tom. I went to the nurses' station and said, "I think Tom has more time if we give him some antibiotics and IV fluids." Without even looking up, a nurse named Nancy says, "No, he's dying." I say, "Why?" She says, "Because she's seeing his

dead

mother." I say, "I don't remember that class from medical school!" She says, "Son, you missed too many classes!" Anyway... (Laughs) Tom ends up dying. What Nancy knew and I didn't know was that Tom's end-of-life experiences had meaning. They were important, and not only to him, but also to those of us who were entrusted to care for him.
So if he wanted to have any value, he needed to understand, he needed to learn. I learned that end-of-life experiences are subjective experiences of the dying and often refer to

dreams

and

visions

prior to death. These experiences have been reported throughout history and in all cultures. They are mentioned in the Bible, Plato's "Republic", Shakespeare. In our culture, the richest and most thoughtful discussions have always come from the humanities and never from medicine, but from poets, playwrights and philosophers. These observers have commented that end-of-life experiences are so common that they are essentially intrinsic to the dying process.
They are characterized by being real, intense and significant; They provide comfort, knowledge, and in doing so, help alleviate the fear of dying. So why does medicine have so little to say about something that is so meaningful and, indeed, potentially therapeutic, not only for the patient but also for the patient's loved ones? In part, it's because end-of-life experiences can easily be dismissed as confusion. And it's true; Many dying patients experience confusion as they go through the process. However, unlike patients' experience with end-of-life

dreams

and

visions

, confused patients appear detached. They have disorganized thinking. They are unable to understand their surroundings and, in most cases, are terribly agitated and anxious.
The distinction is best made by listening to the patient. The patient you are about to see in this video, her name is Jeanne, was nearing the end of her life; and she already passed away. (Video begins) Jeanne: she I was lying in bed and

people

were walking, very slowly, next to me. I didn't know the ones on the right, but they were all very friendly, and they would touch my arm or hand when they passed by. But on the other side, there were the

people

I knew. There were my mom and dad, my uncle; Everyone I knew who was

dead

was there.
And they went and did the same thing. I thought it was a good dream, but wow, I remember seeing every part of his face. I mean, I know it was my mom, my dad, my uncle and my brother-in-law. I've been seeing my mother more lately. Interviewer: How do you feel when you see it? Juana: Oh...! Marvelous! I can't say that my mother and I got along all those years, but we made up for it in the end. (End of video) Christopher Kerr: Jeanne is not confused and it would be dehumanizing to label her as such. But she shows us much more.
She shows us that dying is this paradox: she is physically decaying, but, emotionally and spiritually, she is alive; She is alive and present. End-of-life experiences are not only tied to our personal meanings, but they are also tied to some of our greatest needs: the need to love, to be loved, nurtured, and forgiven. End-of-life experiences also represent a rich interconnectivity between body and soul, between the realities we know and those we don't, between our past and our present. But most importantly, end-of-life experiences represent a continuity between lives, both living and dead, so that mothers like Mary can embrace their long-dead children, and children like Jeanne can be reunited with and comforted by their loved ones. long-dead mothers. .
So, again, the question arises: why aren't the words of the dying more worthy of our consideration? I don't have all the answers, but it is true that we live in an age where seeing is believing and where data and evidence are requirements for both understanding and acceptance. Unfortunately, when it comes to end-of-life experiences, most reports were based on anecdotal reports. In other words, no one had asked patients directly or attempted to quantify or measure. That's what we've done and, to date, we have over 1,400 interviews with dying patients. In our first study, we talked to 66 patients every day, until their death, and conducted 450 interviews.
What we found was that a large majority, more than 80%, reported at least one dream and vision before death, described as more real than real and distinct from normal dreams. The next question is: what were they dreaming about? We discovered that 72% dreamed about deceased people: family members, relatives or pets, 59% about this theme of going or preparing to go, 29% about the living and 28% about significant past experiences. So the next question was: did different dream contents provide different levels of comfort? Here is comfort on a scale of zero to five, with five being the highest level. And of all the types of dreams, seeing the deceased was associated with the greatest degree of comfort.
The next question was: were there changes over time in dream content or frequency as patients approached death? Essentially, Nancy's question; Could death almost be predicted based on changes in these variables? Of course, once again, Nancy is right. Frequency is on the y-axis, weeks before death are on the x-axis. As patients approach death, they experience a dramatic increase in the frequency of their dreams. One dreams, specifically, of the deceased, which is associated with the greatest consolation. So the next question we wanted to ask in our next study was what did these mean to the dreamer? Were there common themes?
Were there common meanings? The most common theme was that of a comforting presence. Seeing the dead or seeing the living was overwhelmingly positive and provided a sense of reunion and the feeling that one was not alone. Maggie, for example, was about 80 years old. Later in her life, a childhood friend had hurt her a lot. And before she dies, she dreams of this friend, who comes back and says, "I'm sorry, you're a good person. If you need help, just say my name." Kenny was 88 years old. He lost his mother when he was a child. And before he dies, he dreams that he is a child again.
He is in his mother's kitchen and says, "I smell her perfume," and he hears her soft voice say, "I love you!" Sandy was raised by her sister Emily. And before she dies, Emily returns to her in a dream and tells her, "Remember what I taught you." Many patients reported seeing the presence of other people and were described as simply being there, observing. Little is said, but much is understood. The next video is Paul. Paul is terminally ill. In fact, he dies three weeks after this video. But he's talking about his late wife. (Video begins) Paul: I dream in color, most of the time.
And she always wears a beautiful light blue color. She could be a suit. She could be a robe. She could be a dress. But she is always light blue. A couple of times she gives me the little beauty pageant wave. And a couple of times, she, more or less, says hello... always with a smile. Only once or twice have I heard her voice. She always lets me know that she is okay. I get that feeling after a dream like that. (End of video) CK: As I said, 60% dreamed about this topic of traveling. Jimmy sees many deceased friends and family members and says, "I haven't seen some of these people in years.
I know we're going somewhere, but I don't know where." Others dreamed of the deceased right there, waiting for them. Sarah says: "There were six dead relatives waiting for me in my room. It's good to see them." Less frequently, people had distressing dreams. These are often past and relived traumatic events, such as war. And here is Paul again. (Video begins) Paul: Another thing I've dreamed about quite often, not lately, is that I'm back in the service. I'm in Fort Devens, Massachusetts, where they were forming this company that we were going to supervise; a new company. All the boys are young.
They're like... I remember them! And I am old. And I'm trying to tell them, "Guys! I've been here. I've done this. I'm not going to do it again!" And they are arguing with me! (End of video) (Laughs) CK: I have the great privilege of hearing many people's life stories that tend to emerge or come to the surface at the end of life. Sometimes it saddens me how much trauma and tragedy people have suffered. But more often, I am inspired by the strength of the human spirit and its endless quest to heal what is damaged and what is broken.
And this brings me to Mack's story. I met Mack in 2011. When I walked into his room and started talking to ask him what was going on, he gave me three words and said, "A war problem." His family explained that Mack never talked about the war, but that in recent weeks he couldn't close his eyes without reliving the horror. He couldn't sleep so he came to our facility. Mac went on to explain that he was a World War II veteran. He was very proud to be from Texas and serve on the USS Texas. At the age of 17 he participated in the invasion of Normandy in June 1944.
He was a gunner on a landing craft that went from the ship to the shore. But his nightmares revolved around returning from shore to the ship. Because that was whenIt transported the dead and dying. He called these nightmares terrifying and realistic. He says, "There's nothing but death...dead soldiers around me." A few days later, Mack was completely transformed. He seemed comfortable and at peace. He could sleep. He said that the horrible dream had subsided and that in its place were two types of dreams. There were comforting dreams and neutral dreams. In comforting dreams, he relives the day he received his discharge papers from the army.
In the neutral dream, a dead soldier approaches him on a beach. He doesn't know who he is and says, "Soon, they, your fellow soldiers, will come looking for you." Mack was rescued by the dead soldiers he had tried so hard to save. He had closure. He could close his eyes. He could rest. He died in peace and he died with dignity. But think about it. The human spirit and that brave 17-year-old boy fought for 67 years to be free, to be freed from that enormous obligation, from that pain, from that horrible injustice. His end-of-life experiences did not deny his reality, he did not deny his war, but he reframed it in such a way that he was finally granted his hard-won peace.
I want to end where I began: my hope was that you would hear what I heard from the dying. His words are compelling and relevant. And I hope they leave open the possibility that there is light in the darkness of death. Look back at your own life. Think about your greatest loss, your greatest comfort, and your greatest amazement: the loss of someone you loved, the warm, familiar embrace of a grandparent, the birth of a child. What if, at the end of your life, at some appointed time, lost feelings return, distant feelings become familiar, and meaning is regained?
If any of that is true, then dying is enlightening. Thank you. (Applause)

If you have any copyright issue, please Contact