I Lost $1,000,000 in an Online Love Scam

We're back investigating the most shocking ways people are deceived. It is now the most popular

scam

breaking hearts and bank accounts. Imagine losing $1 million to an

online

relationship

scam

. A former intelligence officer says she

lost

her life savings to a man who cheated on her. she from Nigeria Debbie is here with what she says all women should know thank you for being here. I know you were recently widowed when all this started. I'm sorry, but when you started being

online

it wasn't dating, it was just online relationship building you weren't interested in romance, that's right, I was, I was looking for someone just to be a friend, a partner, someone. who I could talk to you about Lou's death and about my life, my children and it was a friendship that I was looking for.

It was nothing physical, it was safe because it was remote and you were contacted by this gentleman named Eric. What did he say about himself? He was a widower, a widower, he had a son, Kenny, he was 7 years old. He was from London. kind, he spoke well, which was funny because most of the men who wrote online barely knew how to write, it's like talking to a fifth grader, so he was very eloquent and said that he had a good education, something that could connect with a man who I could connect with how you would normally communicate with him by texting without texting like writing today, but I was texting and it was something like 4,000 messages.

You actually know. I have 4,000 pages of German pages. I mean, I checked something. We have four. These folders were full of these messages that those are actually financial transactions, every single financial transaction. I kept an online journal, so I copied and pasted every email I had, put it in a journal, and then printed it out thinking I was having a family. story, one of the things that caught my attention the most, in one of the first exchanges you had, you actually said something to him like when he asked you for money for the first time, either I'm an extreme fool or this is going to be a wonderful relationship like this that something was obviously clicking in your brain that something wasn't right do you think you just ignored it or why not me?

I'm sure I ignored it because I classified myself as one of those damn Yankees who didn't give money away and I was very frugal, so it wasn't like me to just give money to someone I didn't know. Have you ever asked to speak to him on the phone or meet him in person? I did and when I spoke to him he had a British accent which fit the whole story perfectly, he was from London and we were supposed to meet for Christmas and it was great, he was sitting in hotel rooms and all this was going on until the December 21st when there was a problem with one of his transactions and a payment didn't go through so he couldn't come, so again I completely understand this, you're just looking for connection on any level and I appreciate that.

How painful it is to have

lost

the man you were married to for so long and trying to just keep in touch with the world drags you into relationships that maybe you normally would never have been involved in if you weren't an intelligence officer, so... that part of your brain is probably telling you to check it out and so what did you do right? My brother also told me that when they first found out about this. I said do background checks. Do this. I'm like you. It's just friendship. I was just looking for someone who would be nice to me and when he first wrote to me it was interesting, the only thing I remember is that at the end of his email he said, "You can call me Eric Cole" and I thought that was a bit of a strange way to say it. my name is so I called him I told him what did you mean by that I said it sounded funny he said oh it was franca lingua is the way the British talk and I and I rationalized that maybe he said that because that's how he talks and I would check things, he would send me an address of where his son was and I would look on Google Earth and, you know, he was an imagery analyst in the Air Force, so I was looking at all the things. around the house that he said was his and I visualized in my mind if this was where he was living or his family could be there and everything fell into place with him or when I questioned something, he always had an answer plausible.

I always ask why I always do it, they always do it, they do it, they are so convincing that there is a playbook that they know what to say. Feroze and I had no reason not to trust him. I had never heard of an online problem with my mother's best friend. He met her husband online, but this is all platonic now, it's pretty simple, at what point did he start asking you for money? He started out very small at first, the first time he asked me, he was trying to hook up with one of his friends.

He said if you could help him that would be great and I did and I guess that shows that he was willing no, it was very little, you can always start small with seventy dollars, it was pretty small. What did he say about paying you back? he was always going to pay me as soon as he finished his work and since I have a company and I understand that sometimes they don't pay you until the job is done well, I understood that and when all his expenses came up there and he couldn't pay them because he didn't They had paid, I understood, I was helping him, he became part of my family and I think we would do anything for our family over the course of about two years, you say. you gave him 1 million dollars more than a million more than a million and I didn't have a million to give I want people to know that I because I felt like I was family I found him I found him through retirement accounts I sold jewelry I sold trees that I had investments that I had because they came back to me there was always that when I get there Deb I will pay you back we will have the money in the bank it was it was I was asking this because he respects what you do in your daily work, obviously you are very thoughtful about a lot of things that he stated be a successful businessman in the back of your mind.

Have you ever wondered how a successful company doesn't have $90 to pay a friend or more importantly, a million dollars to pay for the most important things they're trying to do. I probably had that thought, but it was more fun at first and I didn't do it until the end, when I added it all up, I didn't realize it. how much had you actually given him because it was over the course of the two years, then you borrowed money from your real family to give it to him? In the end, I borrowed it from my parents and that's the only thing I regret.

Mostly it's that I got them into this and I feel really bad about it. I gave them their money back and my dad said, you know, there was a time when I questioned it, but after two years, how can someone lie to you for two years and more? It's extraordinary stuff, but the moment Debbie finally discovered she'd been duped out of a million dollars or more, we're back with

love

scam expert Vinita Alexander and Debbie, a former intelligence officer who says she was duped. of over $1 million from an online romance scam. Well Debbie, two years into this relationship, all online with this man who you thought was called Eric, said for him to call you Eric, how did you find out who he really was?

He logged on one morning. and said Deb, he was writing to me, he said Deb, how do you feel about forgiveness? So for an hour or two I put on my spiritual hat, my biblical hat, and I had talked about having forgiveness and I said, Eric, I've done something wrong. something is wrong and you need forgiveness and he says I have something to tell you that will hurt you I just needed to know that you can forgive me before you do this so are you sure you want to do it he said I have a confession to make that this whole thing has been a scam, he He told you, he told me that and I was looking at something like: are you sick?

There is something wrong here and I said: what do you mean it was a scam? He says, all this has been a lie and in that moment I thought no, you're lying to me. Now I said you're going to have to prove to me that this is a lie and he said I'll go live so apparently on Yahoo chat there was a little bit. camera and this little screen and the bottom of my computer appears and I'm looking at a young man with brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin and a big smile on his face, why do you think he finally confessed what caused this ?

I asked him and told him why did you do this and he said that he actually fell in

love

with me and I don't know if that's part of the scam now, but I hope some of my kindness from the last two years has rubbed off. and his conscience finally got to him because he actually said, can we continue this on a floor? Of course, I'm thinking no, absolutely not. I didn't have the money to continue anyway but he wanted to continue the friendship and when I saw his face it was a gift from God I think in an instant my story and my heart disconnected from my Eric because I'm looking at Joseph it turns out his name It's Joseph from Nigeria not Eric from London yes I said why why did he do this why did you confess that most scammers don't confess and he said it was because he needed my forgiveness.

I think he had some kind of spiritual awakening. I'm not sure what it was about, but it's okay and I realized he needed it. To forgive me he needed to forgive myself so I could move on, but it's a very difficult thing to do. Did you try to get your money back? I know it's interesting. I have the folders and I went to the FBI the next day with all my paperwork and they said Deb unless you can get it here in the United States there's nothing we can do for you oh my gosh and when I heard it just closed I said : I'm not going to tell anyone that I was there.

I was ashamed. guilty, I was vulnerable, I was very upset and you know I took on all the things that you feel that many others feel. You just told me that you had contact with three women. See this week. Online romance scams are very common because the numbers on this are from the FTC. It is estimated that $143 million was lost last year due to people being deceived. There's probably a lot more to it because most people don't exactly talk and that's what people don't want to be vulnerable enough to say, "I was cheated on," and their families, you know, get upset.

Your friends get upset. What's the first step if you've been scammed this way? what are you doing? I think the most important step is to tell your family and friends the people who love you because you are going to need them and like you follow all the following steps to protect yourself financially by calling the police blocking contact with a person so they cannot contact you again you will need your friends and family that support system I think is vital actually because you have the emotions that you go through and the variety of emotions and the devastation that can be paralyzing, it is actually huge because most police stations and the authorities don't know how to deal with the victim of this, they can leave you speechless and make you feel bad.

Really bad, a woman told me the other day we filmed because we encourage people to report, just the numbers are there and she said, Deb, I got out of that feeling that I was manipulated, yes, and I will never talk to anyone again , and that's it. The problem, I hear this all the time, yeah, you know, go away and think that they're going to get help and they come out feeling like we change, that this season is about the power of each and every one of us to make a difference. If you have any part in the gunpowder, report these crimes or have your friends who have been scammed report them, you can go to dr. oz, calm down for a direct link to the FBI Internet Crime Report Form.

Anyone can fill out this form to inform or prevent other victims from taking advantage of our expert minute in conquering love. Alexander has the top three ways you can spot a scammer and it might help someone close to you maybe even stay with us make sure to subscribe to my channel so you don't miss anything and remember to check back often to see what's up again