Hugh Jackman's Opening Number: 2009 Oscars

Good evening and welcome to the Academy Awards, this truly is the biggest movie event of the year and we are here to honor all of this year's incredible films and the actors and actresses who started them. Now the Academy loves to salute women like Kate Winslet and gentlemen in the reader Kate, who is English, plays a German nominee in Tropic Thunder Robert Downey Jr. ladies and gentlemen, Robert, who is American, played an Australian, played an African American, nominated, while I, I'm an Australian who played an Australian in a movie called Australia Hosting, but, as you know, this is my first year as a presenter, but he is not the only one.

What's different this year everything is being cut back because of the recession next year I'm starring in a movie called New Zealand and because of the cuts the Academy said they didn't have enough money for an

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you know what I'm going to do one anyway, yeah, because you know that's how I roll because I stayed up all night in my garage. I prepared my own tribute to this year's films because in Hollywood you don't need money, you can build a dream. You're welcome just a humble slum dog sitting in a millionaire's chair What will I hold in the end What is my final answer It's not written there Do I really care?

I'm just here so I can call a friend yes, Mr. Jessica, and if I thought I could find equivalents, well, I'd be swimming in a sea of ​​human excrement and I begin my story with the feeling that this Slumdog Millionaire just needs some milk. I'm talking about a maiella. Okay, I'm talking about milk. It's okay to be gay I'm Harvey Milk I'm real normal people crossing the USA I'm talking about Bobby on the griddle, milk in the middle, give me just a little, just a little, give me just a little, ladies and gentlemen. your Craigslist dance, ah you, how comedic movies never get nominated, how can they be a billion dollars in fancy, everyone went to see the Dark Knight, what do I do and you think it's not right, it's not my case , approve my fall, maybe if I grow old?

On the contrary, when I was four years old my back hurt and I had pubic hair. I'm aging backwards, but no one seems to notice yet. I think the government wouldn't replicate my DNA. Someone tell the press before I disappear. Is anyone okay? I need help for this, anyone, anyone, come and give me some head, the only point, I'll just trust me, relax, relax, relax, it's okay, sit there, trust me, bye, you look beautiful, why don't you did you burn the tapes? I don't know what I'm supposed to say here 18 minutes all deleted I mean it's an honor I love little - face to face America deserves an apology Frank Langella was sitting next to me stop lying right now and tell the truth TRUE?

I really want to do this Jackman, he's gone Festa me why can't you let it be me look what you've done to me all of you are worthy adversaries why is his upper lip so sweaty is yes, but I like mr. frost I think I love you Oh Nixon you know I love you too and that's the way thank you reader I haven't seen the reader I was going to see it later but it was left behind my offers are longer than I thought design the reader I know that I need to see the reader I even went to the theater but there was a line of all the people watching Iron Man for the second time hello I'm a fighter I'm alone my role is an outcast my heart is overwhelmed and yet I've fallen apart with nothing I melted my button , hello and/or my men froze my NYX and because I have Hugh Jackman and I've waited so long and no recession can stop my confession or silence my son, these are my three.

I'm a Slumdog I'm a leader of fighters hahaha thank you thank you