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How To Do The Work And Get Out Of Your Own Way | Dr. Nicole LePera on Women of Impact

How To Do The Work And Get Out Of Your Own Way | Dr. Nicole LePera on Women of Impact
i think a lot of us are living disconnected from our real inner source of wisdom and the more we remain up there um and oftentimes render ourselves even unable to make decisions because we can make a court case for and against the same thing and become gridlocked right i think thinking pretty simply is is a form of sabotage or distraction betrayal i'm betraying my inner knowing that has the answers by keeping myself stuck in that gridlock thank you so much lisa for having me welcome back again girl you know freaking adore you um the self-sabotage is so interesting to me it's something that i hear very common once i started to just look that's the first step right is what does it actually mean so i googled it i looked up the definition and i was like okay it makes sense intellectually but then what about all the small things that we don't realize we are doing on a day-to-day basis that leads us to be 40 50 60 years old and look back on our life and say what the hell happened um but i really do believe if we can address the self-sabotage in the most smallest to the biggest versions we can start living our lives and being the hero of our own lives so talk to miguel about self-sabotage where does it come from how do we identify it absolutely i talk a lot about so the language i use so for any of my followers listening probably heard me say self-betrayal it's very much an interchangeable concept and i think it's a quite universal experience and i talk...
how to do the work and get out of your own way dr nicole lepera on women of impact
about a reason a reason for self-betrayal or self-sabotage that lives in a part of our mind in the subconscious part of our mind because there's a universal reality that most of us humans share all of us humans share which is that change is hard period we are very habited creatures we tend to repeat the patterns that we live day in and day out and anytime we try to make a choice to go against and to do something different we meet up against that part of our subconscious that likes to keep us in those familiar places so we can meet self-sabotage in many contexts outside of self-harm like you beautifully described right we can meet acts of self-sabotage when we don't make that new choice you know for a nutritional a new a new thing we want to eat or stop eating you know or show up differently in the world any time we essentially intend to make a change and we struggle to keep that intention typically falls under the category in my opinion of that concept of self-sabotage or self-betrayal and again it lives in the subconscious that really is driven to keep us in those familiar patterns so any choice outside of that familiarity can feel like a threat can signal our subconscious again making change quite universally difficult and making us engage in those or making the chances that we're going to engage in those self-sabotaging choices quite high and so how do you go from that to then ignoring that thought that's trying to keep you safe yeah absolutely so first i...
how to do the work and get out of your own way dr nicole lepera on women of impact
mean something we have to acknowledge is that we have thoughts in our mind all day long most of us have a very disempowering relationship with our thinking mind what i mean by thinking mind is really just the thoughts the endless litany of you know considerations narratives essentially anything that's chattering in my head typically is happening all day long and we're vetting the world most of us are kind of experiencing the world through the thoughts in our head and the more we can create space so that we can access a lot of the language that maybe listeners have heard use is the consciousness or the awareness become the observer of our thoughts right create space where that which i am that can observe these thoughts is separate from these thoughts this takes a practice we have to create that space we have to learn how to be present to the thoughts that are happening and also to empower ourselves to either maybe shift our attention away from them a lot of us get caught up in the endless reasons why not to do something the more i sit on this couch and think of all the reasons why i shouldn't go do that five minute yoga practice probably chances are i'm not going to do that so the more time i'm paying attention to my thoughts that can create enough resistance to not go do the thing so attention can be a powerful tool lisa i see that first thought there oh don't do yoga now you have this other thing to do if i am able to to see the thought and to remove...
how to do the work and get out of your own way dr nicole lepera on women of impact
my attention from it perhaps i put it on my breath that's happening or on the current environment what what is here right now that's not in my mind that i can pay attention to if i can remove my attention i might increase the likelihood that i go do that thing and a lot of us tend to hook our attention to our thoughts allow them to spiral and then we do render ourselves incapacitated to make those choices wow okay so but if ah this is super interesting so you said give

your

self the space which i interpreted it to mean think about this thing but you're actually saying don't think about it so explain that to me we want to learn how to release a thought so i do guided meditations often especially for the healers in my in my virtual membership and i often use a metaphor that maybe other people have heard in guided meditations as well but i think it really it resonates with a lot of people and it's the visualization of when you have a thought begin to visualize the thought like a leaf going down a nice stream so learning how to have that relationship with

your

thoughts where

your

thoughts become the leaves we cannot let me repeat this because a lot of us you know i think are misinformed about what this relationship with thoughts are having the idea that we get to go to a place where we have no thought that's not the case we're not trying to shut off our thoughts we actually can't we want to develop a relationship with our thoughts like they're...
the leaves on that stream where they happen i can note them perhaps you're even noting the cyclical nature up there i know a couple of mine there's my to-do list thought oh there's my worst case scenario thought and then just like the leaves on that stream i allow my attention to release and that thought just as much as it came will go away so we're not thinking and a lot of us do do that we have the thought oh right that other thing i should do oh so now i think of four to-do list things and now i'm down the rabbit hole of to-do list thinking um so one thought kind of quickly turned into multiple and most of us are doing that outside of our awareness we don't realize it until we're in the bottom of the well if you will so while you're not going to evolve to a place where you're thought free you will retrain the way

your

brain operates in the thinking mind and that hamster wheel will begin to slow ever so gradually over time so there are now moments where i am existing in presence where thought necessarily isn't there it doesn't mean it's not going to come back something could happen in my environment another thought comes in and then i have the opportunity to choose what do i do with it is this a productive thought is this a helpful thought is this a thought i do want to consider a bit more or do something about or is this not a productive thought is this a thought that i can place back onto that leaf to continue on its journey...
all right so what does that actually look like you have a thought that comes in pick a thought uh any thought yeah any thought i was gonna say you know what thought came up one of my common thoughts that i like to think is i'm not considered okay so you have the thought i'm not considered how do you then take that and say exactly what you said is this thought useful does it help me does it not like how do you actually process that and then how do you make it be the leaf and pass by you absolutely so thoughts are neurons that are firing in the brain they couldn't be more objective right a fire happens our brain forms a concept there it is it's it's that which is it's an objective thing what we do outside of our awareness as humans our brain is what is referred to as a meaning maker we don't like things to just be as they are we like to make meanings and there's rich traditions of storytelling you know passed down through ages where we make sense of the world around us through these meanings so gift of our very big brains that we have however the meaning is what causes then the emotional fallout right so when i assign the meaning of right i'm not considered so while i use that as an example let me peel it back a minute what was the actual thought oh a text wasn't returned so my actual thought was oh it's been an hour and i haven't heard from my partner that's the thought the meaning i then assigned i'm not considered now i...
feel not considered i might feel outright hostile i might feel wounded i might do all the things i do when i don't when i have that feeling and this is where we're again very patterned so what we really want to do is pull it back and understand the biggest question or understanding that we want to gain for ourselves is what what meaning did i assign to that thought and when we understand the meaning we can understand why we're having the emotional reaction that we are but then that becomes a point of intervention now we can question the meaning so a lot of people i think are talking about that concept and there's a lot of value in it because you do have an objective entity a neuron that is firing that has now been overlaid with a meaning that can be where we can create shifts and changes wow but even questioning the meaning sometimes scary for people really scary so how do we do that yeah the

work

i mean i think but like so let's say you're just really scared right because the second you have to take a hard look at

your

self like the the second you start to question

your

meaning could be almost like a identity thing yes yes um which is very scary so let's say i'm listening i hear it okay i've got to do the

work

is there like a small little first step which is like for instance people if you want me to go to the gym just tell me to get my ass to the gym and i'll go but for other people it's like hey just put

your

shoes by

your

bed...
yeah just put

your

shoes don't even go to the gym just put

your

shoes on that's step one so almost what would that first little step be yeah absolutely so what i wanted to know is the

work

itself is hard right this this changing and questioning can bring up a lot of discomfort and a lot of the reasons why we're so stuck in our patterns are protective for me as well you know living a life distance from my physical body and my emotions meant that i was able to somewhat at least believe i was keeping myself distanced from the discomfort so as i began to heal and reconnect with my physical body and my emotional body there was a lot there that really wasn't comfortable so i just like to reiterate the

work

of healing is uncomfortable and it ties into this conversation about self-betrayal because change is hard and like i said within change can come to the surface a lot of deeper rooted feelings we definitely don't want to overwhelm ourselves we don't want to overwhelm that subconscious that can't consider doing anything differently let alone five things so most of us do a disservice to ourself when we overload our subconscious in two ways really the first way is when we try to do too many new things completely understandable especially if my life feels so intolerable right now typically i'm probably really uncomfortable maybe downright miserable it is really understandable to have the idea that if i do five new things tomorrow instead of one right i...
can make my recovery quicker and feel better sooner that's really all we want so while i wholeheartedly understand the drive to like just change

your

life from top to bottom tomorrow i also know that that overwhelms the subconscious so in that to that extent you'll hear me talk about a concept of small daily promise where quite literally to speak to

your

beautiful truth i actually urge you to pick something that's really small don't dive into that heart you know if you're someone who knows that

work

ing out is near impossible probably don't set that even as

your

intention you know maybe

your

your

intention is this might sound silly is walking to

your

mailbox to get like just one action of movement right i walk to my mailbox maybe it's 10 feet away that might sound silly walk to

your

mailbox for the next 10 days and then maybe you walk around

your

block and then maybe four months from now six months from now maybe then you're finally doing

your

first you know five minute

work

out small promises can help create or walk us past the resistance that's going to be there another way we overwhelm ourselves as we try to dive into two deep emotions we try to flood ourselves you know it's not about remembering that really difficult thing that happened to you however many years ago just to feel it and get past it that could just as easily overwhelm the subconscious so we really want to build structural foundations of safety in place when we're...
doing the

work

confidence where i can keep the more small daily promises i keep it's not about even what the promise is i share and in my book those of you who will purchase it will read about a story of a very inspirational self-healer whose transformation and really healing from symptoms of ms began with one glass of water and so what i say to that is it wasn't the water right that strung together enough choices it was the human right and so this human ally is her name in the process of making and keeping and noticing the next step of it notice when you keep those small daily promises each and every one in the process ally became confident she developed a sense that she can keep those promises and that over time expands into what at least i believe is empowerment so those of you listening it's not about the smallness of the promise it's not even about the promise when we're talking about healing from self-sabotage and self-betrayal it's just the act of observing

your

self show up god i love that what is that i don't want to interrupt you but what is the difference to you between self-sabotage and self-betrayal i think they're both pretty much interchangeable i mean i just use the term self-betrayal i think there's a lot of ways um because i talk about the ways we betray our needs often um and i think collectively when we think of self-sabotage we think of actions where i you know do myself a disservice i think we can betray ourselves or...
even sabotage if you will ourself by not acknowledging my my needs in any given moment or putting someone else's if i do that consistently yes because i'll get questions well i'm a selfless human i want to show up for others of course i'm not talking i'm talking about patterns here if you always are showing up for everyone else and not

your

self maybe that's a pattern you want to explore and in that way i could define you write

your

self betraying those needs because you're saying consistently to

your

self that whatever else is more important than

your

own needs and i was that person we don't likely we're not even aware of our needs let alone have that moment where we decide i remember very pivotal moment in my own life before i actioned on it i was probably in my mid-20s and i was complaining to a friend about all the obligations that i felt were being thrown on me from my family from my partner and her family and this person over there and you know i was going off the litany of all these requests you know that i thought were being given to me and so my friend very just very calmly looked at me and said what do you want to do you know about the circumstance i've had i was dumbfound at least i had no idea i had never even made it a habit or even a not even a habit i never even paused to ask myself so a lot of times we're just living in that betrayal because we over step the self check in we don't take the moment and say okay my...
phone's ringing and it's so and so well where am i right now am i am i available to so and so we just are on the phone with so and so before we've even checked in so i like to talk about it in that more again expanded way um because i i imagine a lot of listeners are probably doing having those moments and might just be by proxy of not stopping to ask so you're not even giving

your

self the opportunity to know um if you had a different need in that moment how do you then do it because i i assume um you can't do that in every moment of every day so what would you suggest there for people to kind of assess as a overall so that when you get caught up in that moment that you may not have time to stop and go oh how do i feel are there things that they can do is it a list of

your

needs what does that look like yeah and the more consistent i think that you are the more ongoing

your

conversation with

your

inner self is on the daily because you're right in these moments especially if our emotional system is activated especially if an older wound is being activated you're not going to in real time at least now yet yet you're not going to yet be able right to intervene on

your

self i mean that's what we're really doing the

work

of here the

work

is of showing up in consciousness when the older habit you know might have been my reaction keeping me disempowered and powerless and now i get to reown my power and say no in this moment from my conscious...
self i am going to do this new thing so the more ongoing that conversation is the more we can set ourselves up to succeed in those moments for many of us it's probably uh uh i'm blanking on the word when you kind of review a sports game after a play you know a post a post game analysis sure don't like that it's kind of like you know for a lot of us it'll happen after the fact right like oh right i came home and i really didn't want to do that thing and i realized now i didn't when my maybe emotional brain isn't as lit up however the more just in communication we are with ourselves our physical our emotional spiritual self the better we're gonna be able and you might be someone a listener might be someone like

your

self and you might find

your

tell-alls i have a couple towels myself when i know i'm stressed when i catch myself holding my breath or i catch myself tensing that one i've known for a bit now that i'm tuning in consciously to just my body a bit more and my breathing a bit more and i harness the power of my breath to keep my nervous system calm i still notice especially when i'm stressed with

work

or with things going on my mind somewhere else i'll inhibit my breath so like you when i'm like oh i'm holding my breath right now

nicole

is something on

your

mind where are you are you stressed about something so listeners likely will find right the their markers their tells that's what we

work

up to right...
in in the moment is hard and it begins with just those small daily promises to rebuild the connection to the self and then the more in communication we are with ourself the more we'll be able to note our needs our wants our desires our wishes in in real time i love that one of my favorite quotes actually from bruce lee and he says don't think kick just kick and so it's like where

your

s you've practiced so much that he no longer thinks about it he literally just that kicks so as you were talking i was like oh yeah i guess that is it right trying doing the list reassessing at the end of the day like we like the football analogy you gave like reviewing

your

day and then over time just getting better and like shortening that that space of time where something's happened and you're acknowledging

your

feelings yes yes absolutely because another reality that humans struggle myself include it is we do we aren't variable yeah creatures so even if you memorized

your

needs now you know i just turned 38 years old by the time i'm 48 my needs are probably going to shift and change a bit based on my lived experience based on my changing bodies so what we that's why i'm about that internal empowerment because what i believe our goal is is to empower ourselves as individuals so that we can walk into the future of tomorrow that is unknown for all of us and confidently know that we can navigate that with our needs included because our needs are ever...
changing um so even you know the the best the best plan now that we come up with you know and i feel like i do more or less a good job when i keep promises to myself to care now for my emotional being and my spiritual being and my physical being though i'm also aware that my needs will likely shift and change as i continue to evolve on my journey so hard truth um is getting comfortable with that variability with that uncertainty of tomorrow and i believe the best way we can do that is by empowering ourselves with the trust and safety and security that i got tomorrow it might suck right i might wish it weren't the way it was and i'll deal with that when i get there but i have a deep sense of okayness wow i so freaking love that like beyond measure because i always want to evolve i always want to change and at least growing up the the phrase that kept oh you're changing like it was a bad thing um and so i used to think that if i was growing and evolving that i was betraying other people i was actually letting other people down going back to self-sabotage i think i was self-sabotaging myself in not changing because i was so afraid of my the people that i love and i'm close to saying oh you're changing um but then i realized well hang on a minute isn't that what we should all be striving for for growth evolution and change like to me that's the excitement of freaking life who i was when you were first on this couch is no longer like i'm not...
that same person today and neither of you right and it's beautiful to see how we've evolved over time um so let's say i'm telling tom my partner hey baby these are my needs this is what i'm looking for but in two years i'm going to be changing and needing different things from you how do you approach that um because the evolution of it is super interesting that we haven't really talked about that before it's really complicated and i think a lot of times this applies um with our longest term relationships right our family our oldest friends those we've had for decades i mean naturally at least you know with our core family units our caregivers like we're going to mature and develop so they're going to naturally see different versions and us them and i think what most people are fearing is when we fear change and we kind of worry about other people being different what we're really concerned about is the effect that that change might have on me via the relationship dynamic possibly here's another theme being the meaning that i'm assigning now to where i perceive you to be doing or being versus me right all row a lot of rows most roads typically lead back to well how does this making me feel in this moment and the reality for a lot of us and i've lived this experience with the large majority of my long-term relationships with my family change does shift dynamics as you start to embody

your

needs possibly embody

your

...

your

highest self and show up differently in

your

relationships there are changes then that ripple out i mean this is why i do the

work

of an individual empowerment because i do believe that that affects far beyond the individual into the relationships and communities and systems and structures etc so i'm not going to say that change doesn't affect a system it does and it can make those especially those longer term relationships complicated what can be really helpful is communication right it's just verbalizing because when we don't when we're not telling someone directly you know when you don't go to

your

partner tom or or

your

friend even and when you're not describing to them you know i'm on a journey i'm you know going through some things i might start to show up differently i might i might need a little more space now you're you're letting them in you're allow you're at least giving them a version or a meaning that they could choose to accept the next time you actualize on that the next time you're not available for sunday brunch oh right lisa told me she's not going to be brunching she's you know on some new diet i don't know but okay that's why lisa's not here that might relieve that person as opposed to you not saying anything and you just removing

your

self or becoming more distant it's not not that i'm saying the conversation is easy to have of course though instead of just actioning...
on it like you'll feel my pull away and when i'm not at brunch if i didn't tell you why now

your

mind is going to do it all of our minds do it's going to imagine the reason so now you're leaving that person to imagine their own reasons about what they're probably definitely going to feel is going on so i think one of the best things that we can do though it's not easy to do so some of these conversations are very difficult i've had to have very difficult conversations with my family in particular back when i started to put up boundaries i had to start to directly you know tell my sister my mom like things that i was willing to do not willing to do any more and that was hard though i at least gave them my version of events so that the next time when i wasn't available to them the way i said i wasn't going to be they could hear the why and for those of us that love uh you know for the many around us that love us over time they can begin to accept that hopefully it's difficult because like i said a lot of times it means them changing it means them experiencing you differently it might mean them not having that role that used to play for them performed anymore and they might need to find somewhere else to go with that need that doesn't mean it's a bad thing yeah god and them not maybe accepting you that would be a tough one but a lot of it i mean every anytime we begin to show shed the conditioned layers and show more and more...
aspects of our true self and especially those of us who experience rejection or abandonment i mean that's the number one fear that you might not like what you see so i can say don't blow in the face i'm gonna be this new person and then lisa when i show up as this new person i feel very vulnerable because there's always the possibility that you might reject this new thing you're singing that i'm doing or saying or being yeah that's yeah that's super freaking tricky but i definitely think that we can't allow that to

impact

how we show up because then it just goes back to how we first started right the self-sabotage of um holding on to something it's going back to actually meaning and feeling right you're holding on to maybe a feeling or a meaning that you had with this person whether it's

your

partner a friend or something and i think sometimes we hold so hold on so tight to it that we then don't act in accordance to our goals our dreams the person we want to be yes i i pretty much i mean you're summing up the choices my vetting point for choices i would run everything that i was gonna say or do personally and professionally through the lens of what effect will this have on the receiver right right and i got so good at that that before i know it like i was saying earlier there was no stop of well what do i want to say and what effect would this have on me not saying in this way i didn't even consider that that was a...
step because i was so i trained myself my environment right resulted in my training to just worry about the receiving and i'm not to say to be insensitive i'm always listening especially on social media like you and i were talking before i'm always listening observing how my messages are landing with the hopes to tweak my language to tweak the way i'm sending the message or speaking it to allow it to be received however the reality is on the receiving end that we all are playing we're all having those we're all subjective we're all filtering it through our past experiences right and we could really set ourselves up do a lot of disservices around needs and need expression if we're constantly just worrying about how will this land a lot of times we're going to surprise ourselves or the person all the things we imagined that they were going to say or do when we expressed ourselves in this new way a lot of times it never happens that's actually interesting the overthinking process is sometimes in essence a sabotage in itself i think overthinking is a sabotage i think humans and our thinking brain has become so primed our school system trains us to solve all of problems from up here i think a lot of us are living disconnected from our real inner source of wisdom and the more we remain up there and oftentimes render ourselves even unable to make decisions because we can make a court case for and against the same thing and become gridlocked...
right i think thinking pretty simply is is a form of sabotage or distraction betrayal i'm betraying my inner knowing that has the answers by keeping myself stuck in that gridlock wow yeah how do you if you're whether you're stuck in the gridlock or not i guess um provide meaning to something i haven't really done dive deep into meaning actually so this is quite surprising for me but i'm super interest interested in how we can cultivate meaning or something to actually serve us yeah absolutely and i think being connected to that inner source of whatever it might be whatever word you use for it passion purpose you know my why or whatever it is i do feel like that is the life force and it's also a question i get asked quite often which is how do i find my meaning my purpose and i'll speak from my own personal life experience if you would have talked to me and there was actually a really

impact

ful moment where um lolly my partner and i read a lot of the same books and it was years ago before i really embarked on healing and i read a book of dr wayne dyer i don't know if you've read any of his

work

he's he was a psychologist he kind of shifted out and began to do more in spiritual endeavors anyway the short of it is we both read the same book and i read the book and it talked a lot about him reigniting his purpose and his meaning and finding it and kind of going on his path and about a decade ago or maybe a little less when i read that...
i'm reading it alongside of lolly and lolly's like he's my spirit animal this is me and i'm like oh i didn't get this meaning chip this purpose chip genetically i don't have this like toss aside flash forward i don't know very much resonate with dr dyer and he's like a bit i'm like wow you know i really see what you're saying um but i share that because i get asked that question a lot cause a lot of people are like me they're not connected enough to their inner self to they might think like i did i didn't get that chip genetically the purpose you know gene skipped me because i didn't resonate with that i didn't resonate with this kind of concept of inner drive or meaning that i heard by that point a lot of people talking about and it just didn't it didn't align with my experience so far and i understand it now because of my body and the trauma and i was living in a survival mode and talk again about maslow when you're in survival mode and

your

core needs aren't met you're not able to evolve up the pyramid into that tip part of self-actualization which is essentially in my opinion the self-expression of meaning the creation you put into the world whether or not that's just the energy that i'm spreading because i'm in this way of being or a tangible creation a teaching or whatever business you're in what you're doing right that's what self-actualization is the expression of that...
so that's how i understand meaning that's how i'm conceptualizing it i think we find our way back when we find our way back to ourself when we balance the body that's often dysregulated that our self is housed in when we understand our energy systems and how they speak to us and when we discover that inner self then we'll get the guidance and we'll be able to find the very individualized meaning that life is for each of us so the more connected i am the more i'm able to express from that place and now i feel very meaningful about what i do and i can see though you know more choices taking me out of that alignment and i end right back where i started which is dysregulated disconnected and devoid of meaning and so do you just notice

your

self swaying and you bring

your

self back i mean i think it all comes around what am i doing what are my choices the more i don't do my self-care the more i don't keep those promises to myself to keep my system balanced the more longer that goes on then yeah i just feel overall more disconnected i don't string together too many more too many of those days where i allow myself to sway because i'll start to feel a little bit not great you know a couple days of not moving my body my energy becomes stagnant my mind becomes stagnant and then i make the choice to go re-engage so i know i'm answering this a little differently no i notice when i'm in balance i'm connected and i'm able to express...
the more from balance i come or i allow myself to sway by not making the choices that keep me in balance the more disconnected i i feel from my meaning yeah i mean look that is so important to me because like when if someone was to ask me about like executing a business strategy i would talk about my cognitive you know what i do to power my brain right out about i'll talk about sleep now why are you talking about sleep right because it's so freaking important it's the foundation that allows me to get here so the way that you broke it down to assess and come back to

your

meaning is so important because the reason why i actually wanted to go deeper on the meaning thing is to me it becomes an anchor because i always think there's going to be so many reasons why you're going to self-sabotage you're going to have a million right we spoke about excuses in the last episode it's like there are so many reasons excuses you can give that you didn't achieve

your

goal you didn't achieve

your

dream whatever it is right i want to go to the gym i want to read the book all the way through like whatever it is you're always gonna have a reason and by you sharing how you can come back around and pull

your

meaning back to be true to you like that's the freaking juice right there so yeah i love that idea too of you know it using it as an anchor using it as a checkpoint almost reverse engineering and i think there's a lot of aspects honestly lisa...
you're onto something and saying that of healing that have that kind of reverse engineered aspect of things like i'm sharing with you there's a lot of actions i took against what my core beliefs were when i started this i didn't believe myself to be capable i didn't believe myself to be able to make the changes i felt my body to be very limited in a lot of ways i didn't think that certain emotions were at least sustainable in my life right and so yet i acted otherwise right i made the small daily promise i kept walking in that direction so there's a lot of things that we can begin to do and choices we can we need to on some level almost begin to implement before we actually shift and internalize it and make it actually our inner why so that is you know another way we can approach this um if you have the end point or an idea of the end point in mind or at least a direction you know sometimes it can start with what you don't want right i don't want a life that feels as stressful in the day to day as this life is okay so i don't want to walk in this direction so by proxy i'm walking in this one right and as i walk i might be able to get clearer and clearer god i love that so much um where can people find

your

book girl you've got a book coming out where can people find it yeah absolutely i have a book coming out and just so fortuitously talking about our conversation today it's called how to do the

work

how to heal from

your

...
past and create a new future so talk about right healing from self-sabotage healing from self-betrayal creating a future that's different and not more of that groundhog's day so it's the comprehensive how-to um it's coming out in march march 9th to be exact it is on pre-order pre-sale right now so there'll be a link an amazon link a couple international links all the links will be to be had know that if you order thank you thank you thank you and also the book will come out on march 9th it'll live in the world and it i'm hopefully we'll give you the toolkit of how to understand a bit more of this conversation on self-betrayal and the tools the practical tools to begin to create a new future awesome where can people find you online absolutely the dot holistic dot psychologist you can find me on the daily talking about healing doing the thing of healing and of course connect with the amazing community of self healers guys guys check out everything this woman does which is freaking awesome do the

work

and also subscribe click that link and follow me at lisa billy and until next time guys be the hero of

your

own life peace out what up guys thanks so much for watching this video if you'd like another dose of bad or artery make sure you watch this video right here or this one right here because i know you'll like them but hey also while you're here guys you might as well click that subscribe button down there so you don't miss any...
future episodes and until next time be the hero of

your

own life peace out