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How to Eliminate Workplace Bullying and Incivility | Forence Bigsby | TEDxGreensboro

Apr 04, 2024
foreigner I don't mind getting dirty and I think I'm a unicorn, which makes me strive to be the best at everything I do. But in the end I am a fighter. I never give up and I'm rarely afraid, but this is me. a year ago and this is me on a good day when I think I'm cute, so what happened? Well, imagine, it's 3 in the morning. I have not slept. I really haven't slept more than a couple of hours in weeks and I'm crying. Finally I contact my human resources director and tell her okay, please help me find a safe place to hide so I can find another job.
how to eliminate workplace bullying and incivility forence bigsby tedxgreensboro
Now she lives in another time zone and she reaches out immediately and tells me that she is willing to listen to which she does attentively and she promises me that there will be an investigation and she gives me some of these resources. One lets me know that I can take some time off and at this point I have no choice but and I think to Myself during this time, how did this happen? I came to this organization six months early and did so because of its renowned culture of diversity and inclusion, but as I continued my research I discovered that it was a product of

incivility

and harassment in the

workplace

. and I think again how this happened.
how to eliminate workplace bullying and incivility forence bigsby tedxgreensboro

More Interesting Facts About,

how to eliminate workplace bullying and incivility forence bigsby tedxgreensboro...

I have been developing psychologically safe environments for over 20 years in the classroom and in HR and for over a decade I have lived abroad bringing together very different cultures, understanding that behaviors and intentions do not always equate, so do what did I miss? Well, this person wasn't yelling or screaming at me, he wasn't physically attacking me, which would have been difficult in a virtual world, but I was afraid that I wouldn't know what to do. I know who to turn to and even his name caused me to panic. It took support from my manager, my family from the HR team, and a psychologist, but I'm a fighter, I never give up and I'm rarely afraid, and I'm not alone. 30 of our US workforce will experience harassment at some point in their career and 19 will witness it, meaning a total of 49 will be affected by harassment and 98 percent, 98 will be affected for

incivility

and the difference between harassment and instability is that harassment is a repeated objective behavior. towards a specific individual that causes distress, while instability is a general behavior that one simply exudes and that causes distress to those with whom one interacts. 12 percent of our workforce has already left their organizations due to instability and harassment has cost $223 billion in turnover alone over a five-year period, that's not the only cost and a survey of 800 Managers in 17 industries about instability had a clear impact on productivity, quality of work, and a ripple effect on customer productivity was affected because 80 percent spent time worrying for a moment.
how to eliminate workplace bullying and incivility forence bigsby tedxgreensboro
After it happened, 3 percent wasted time worrying about a perpetrator and trying to avoid them and 47 percent simply spent less time at work compared to their counterparts and quality suffered because 78 percent reduced their commitment to your organization. 38 percent intentionally reduced their quality of work. work that led to a decrease in performance of 66 percent and this caused Ripple to fall because 25 percent directly took out their frustrations on customers. Now you would think that in a virtual world the impact would be much less, but in reality it is much worse because this social network. Media Haze hits us when we feel further apart from each other, allowing us to say and do things we wouldn't normally do in a face-to-face environment, and while there is a clear push towards cultures of diversity and inclusion, there is an increase in incivility and

bullying

and that is due to the lack of leadership in developing education and establishing cultural norms in a diverse environment because we will always have the classic bully, but the real effect is those that are not intentional, imagine if We took a professional soccer player and Olympic swimmers, both wonderful in their environments, put them in the same arena and said nothing more than be respectful, meet others where they are and assume good intentions, we hire the best talent and As such, they will do what they want.
how to eliminate workplace bullying and incivility forence bigsby tedxgreensboro
We have done historically to succeed, even if it means tackling someone, which often leads to people getting hurt and everyone losing, but what if we thought about a more similar environment where we all harass the exact same skills? for 10, 20 or 30 years, maybe even teach others? What would happen if we took drivers from every country in the world and put them on the same road without putting up signs and giving them the green light? We all know the speed limit is 65 miles per hour, right? Or wait, maybe it's 80 clicks and that means. I have to convert 0.6 miles to kilometers, that is kilometers to miles, well maybe we just don't have any speed limits, at least we know which side of the road to drive on, even if there aren't many accidents.
The amount of energy it would take to engage each individual driver just to understand which side of the road they are driving on would be enormous, there would be slowdowns and bottlenecks, but again we hire top talent and as such they are geared to get results, so Think of those individuals in the semi-finals determined to get from point A to point B no matter who stands in their way. Think of the awakening they leave behind, but think of those who look at this environment thinking the only way to succeed is. To adopt such behavior, our cultures are endangered by the spread of incivility and

bullying

, but there are three ways we can safeguard our cultural organizations and that is to establish clear rules of engagement early on in continuing education and act quickly if it occurs. an incident and as soon as possible.
Leaders, we cannot leave our people without clear rules of engagement and each organization will be different. I mean imagine a trader on the stock market shouting with his hands in the air trying to get attention, which is what we expect, this is what we imagine in our minds. but think of the exact same person with those behaviors in most corporate meeting rooms, that's a sure way to reduce collaboration and destroy psychological safety. That's a very clear example, what about the shady ones like, for example, we hold meetings outside of normal business hours? If we are a global organization, that may be absolutely essential to drive business effectively, but for a local organization, that can take people away from their families, cost psychological stress and upset work-life balance, so it's not important exactly what rules you set for your organization.
The key here is for everyone to communicate them clearly, understand them and respect them, which brings me to our second key, which is at the beginning of continuing education, because incivility and harassment are not just about yelling at someone or being physically attacked. , there are three tactics that bullies use. and those categories are passive active in the way they recruit others. Passive actions could be things like not responding. Communications. Now we all get emails that get lost in our inbox and items that arrive when we're in meetings that we don't respond to, but it's when it gets repeated to the point that it affects someone else's ability to do their job effectively that it becomes a problem.
It can also be failing to offer relevant information that you know is important for someone to do their job effectively, and active actions could be misleading. When a perpetrator keeps a Target constantly guessing, questioning their ability to remember the past and their sanity and unable to predict the future, they could also be denying access to resources like people or meeting tools and the ways in which others can be as As simple as making a joke at a meeting where everyone is laughing at your expense and you feel humiliated, it could also be pushing aside someone who questions your competence so that they adopt the feelings of the perpetrator and begin to distance you as well, now we can all exhibit some of these behaviors. time, but the real measure is the effect it has on an individual because there are signs that when someone is being affected by incivility and harassment they may begin to express distress.
Have you ever heard someone say things like: I could never predict what this person is going through? say or do, or I'm not sure how to behave around this person in this situation, maybe it's more general, like I'm stressed, exhausted, I can't sleep anymore, and I can't leave work, you may also notice avoidance behaviors . Do they come to work less? They call in sick more or even if they come to work. Do they simply avoid a specific person in the hallway or in meetings? and even if they come to the meetings. Are they taking a step back from their leadership positions.
Are they being less? collaborative doesn't offer their opinions or maybe in this virtual world you just notice that there are always cameras off when that specific person is in the room you can also notice a change in performance if they are taking a step back from the organization as a whole not Be as collaborative or offer your services as they are accustomed to or you may begin to receive complaints from clients and coworkers about your behavior. We now look to our managers to be the first line of defense and look for these signs, but often our managers are our perpetrators, so we must educate all of our employees to be aware of these signs and encourage them to take action and action can consist of approaching a person and asking if they are okay, raising concerns with management and leadership, or perhaps falling. apart from a report with HR and the key here is that it is about early and continuing education because often when we come to an organization, the first thing we receive is training on privacy, security, even harassment, but it is rare organization where we have training on instability and intimidation and that is a mistake because we often say that our people are our greatest asset so it doesn't make any sense not to protect them because the health implications are huge, they can be physical like hypertension, chronic fatigue and as visible as skin disorders, is a psychological thing that causes anxiety, depression and what scares me the most is brain stress, which is a neurological structural change in the brain itself where the prefrontal cortex is shrinks, affects learning and memory, and the amygdala enlarges, making us more reactive to behavioral stressors, whether we avoid more collaboration and risk taking or start to overthink where we exhibit behaviors like spending hours crafting the perfect email to elicit a better, if not more predictable, response to adoption where our targets become our perpetrators and once these health implications start, they are very difficult and time-consuming to overcome, which It brings me to our third key, which is to act quickly if an incident occurs and each incident will be unique and require your delicate hands, but the key here is that it be dealt with immediately because instability and harassment is a disease. and we are at pandemic levels.
As leaders we are responsible for the financial bottom line, but most importantly it is for our people, these are our sons and daughters, our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers. I am a fighter, I never give up and my organization had an incredible response. I was blessed and fortunate, that is not always the case and as leaders we must be proactive not reactive, the cost is too high, thank you.

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