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Hispanic Parenting Fails - Dennis Gaxiola - Full special

Feb 19, 2020
It has to be funny so I said the first thing that came to my mind how are you going to catch me I'm in a Mercedes you have a trailer that's how security was enough Paco how did I become Paco for her we said there are these jokes about being Mexican I don't speak fluent Spanish that I was at a show and I mentioned that one time to this lady who is like a big inslaw in Latin cultures, if you don't speak fluently, you speak Spanish fluently, but if you don't, honey, I get mad at you and this lady said. oh you're a sellout you're not a real Mexican oh yes that's how Mexican I am my youngest son when he was born he was already an uncle you don't understand more than that true people get nervous we joke about racial acts As if race were the biggest problem in the United States United I think it's the media, the media. wants to divide us has to travel all over the country go to different colored rooms people and we all laugh together the media does a very good job acting like we can't get along we have problems but our problems are nothing compared to other parts of the world where they hate each other so much that they will put a bomb in their body to kill themselves and their enemies because of ethnic and religious differences, you will never see that in the United States you will never see a redneck get on the bus in Oakland California and go in the name of a KKK, okay men, don't sit back with that joke there, hey, I have a real mixed family.
hispanic parenting fails   dennis gaxiola   full special
I have a black brother-in-law. Jewish brother-in-law. Puerto Rican sister-in-law. -law, my wife is Puerto Rican but no other combinations work out perfectly, you know, my nephew is Mexican and Jewish, he wants to buy a car but he's not sure whether to steal it or buy it wholesale, he plays soccer then he goes to boarding school -city school in California He is the only player I go to a game with because his dad is sick so I go to the game with him the guy will be there with you two soccer teams he is the only kid on the field who is not 100% Mexican and he He's getting ready to go into the game and he's stretching and I'm trying to make him laugh and relax.
hispanic parenting fails   dennis gaxiola   full special

More Interesting Facts About,

hispanic parenting fails dennis gaxiola full special...

I'll go up to the fence and they yell, "I can do it," one of the parents sitting behind me says Jess chuka, I can't do it. I speak Spanish like I said. I am still proud of my culture. There is nothing bad. Everyone should be proud of their own culture. There's nothing wrong with having some tribal pride. Alright. I have those moments where they just burst out of me, like on my birthday last year. My sister gave me a Starbucks card. I don't even drink much coffee, but I didn't go to Starbucks and there was a long line, no one was ordering coffee, everyone was ordering extravagant dreams and I felt so out of place with the lady right in front of me.
hispanic parenting fails   dennis gaxiola   full special
Me, when it was his turn he ordered a vanilla soy latte, now it's my turn to order and I'm looking at the menu and I'm nervous and I saw they had a spicy mocha so I said let me order a spicy soy mocha . Then when my drink was called at the end of the cafeteria, the girl was like spicy soy mocha and I had a burst of Latin pride and thought like so many gammas, if you don't laugh, you weren't paying attention in Spanish class. I'm trying to grow a beard, so I think I look more like my dad, but my mom was like, "You look like your grandmother." It was funny, he knows someone like that, he's naturally funny, they're not trying to be funny for my mom's birthday a few years ago, we took her out to dinner and then we took her to see the movie The Passion of the Christ, how many people saw the movie ?
hispanic parenting fails   dennis gaxiola   full special
The Passion of the Christ, if some of you did it, I don't want to ruin the ending, it doesn't come. Three days after the sequel, we took my mom to see The Passion of the Christ and they kicked us out of the theater. is that they throw us out of a movie when it is a good, clean and healthy movie. They kicked us out because the whole movie my mom was screaming and Jesus called, don't go easy on me, that's a good joke, so how many years have we been married to 15 people? has 15 due who has more than 15 anyone has 30 anyone 30 30 correct how many sir, give a round of applause now to the entire marriage couple, e

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ly the women.
I want to help you all with this lie that's going around that says that men don't We don't communicate ladies, we just don't communicate with you because we know that if we say the wrong thing it doesn't ruin that moment, it could ruin an entire period of time. I'll show you. I had a golf trip planned with my uncle and cousins ​​we are going to Monterey California just three hours away I had this trip planned for two weeks I didn't tell my wife that I was born playing golf until the morning I slipped out of bed very I quietly got dressed, washed, returned to the room, kissed him on the forehead and said, "Okay, I'm going to play golf." I just woke her up.
When did you plan this? I said two weeks ago. You're just telling me now why you've been angry for two weeks. I love you. Never forget ladies that that man you are married to is nothing but a big boy, it's okay, don't kill the little boy in your man, it's okay, if he likes playing video games, don't get mad, even if she play fetch video games. She said no, she looked at her sad, is she okay? sir, just blink and we'll take you to a shelter tonight, sir, like a 12-year-old boy who was grounded right there.
He looked like he played video games. I see you still like Syria. where men need cereal I still go to bed with a bowl of cereal I start my day with a bowl of life and I end it with the bowl of life and there is a plan behind that I eat cereal of life every day in case something happens to him Yo, everyone can go, he was so

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of life, that's the dumbest joke I've ever written. I also have a trophy wife. Now I know it's wrong to say that I refer to my wife as a trophy, but I'm proud of everyone. in love, that's your trophy like your husband and your wife, that's your trophy, but not everyone got a first place trophy, you got a first place trophy, certainly well, you put your arm around her and you say, well, I I won, she got a plaque, but you guys say hello to my two black brothers in the back right now.
I asked them what the black community in Provo was and said they'll be at the show tonight. Everyone understands how different it is. I grew up in Berkeley, California. and a melting pot is a global meltdown by people all over the world, you know, and the most racist thing I experienced as a child was not from a white person, but from a black man and he was my friend and this was Before Before people started having their feelings on Facebook, I went to school with a boy named Kenny and for eight years, from middle school to high school, every day Kenny called me taco.
I'm glad you think he's funny, ma'am, he saw me. and I walked to school with my brother I was a taco my brother was salsa what's up taco listen to salsa salsa for tacos every day throughout school I didn't get mad I didn't make a complaint I just thought about it I said a The taco is a crunchy shell

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of delicious ingredients. How did Kenny know? One thing I know about comedies. You have to know the line wherever you go in the country. You have to know the line. Every ethnic group is different in what is sensitive and what is not.
You guys are so cool here, go south, you should have a passport to go south, anyone from Biloxi Mississippi. I got booked at a country-western bar in Biloxi Mississippi and I knew the show was going to have problems when the guy made the reservation. I said: we want to hire you, that's how he talks. We are all going to hire them for Cinco de Mayo. I'm already booked. Those, wait. I didn't tell them when the show was going to be. We will do it in In February I went and I knew I was in trouble when I used the men's room and in the bathroom there was a swastika that talked about a laxative, but we started to notice it and it's great that we are having a good time and that people are Me river and I only take one because there are good and bad in each group.
We know that from the back of the club and from the back of the bar, this good boy is yelling at Spearchucker. Now I've been called every ethnic slur you can call. a Mexican you start insulting me about groups I don't even belong to that's taking it too far there are embarrassed people there you're making me look dumber he was good and bad in each group there were some good people who had to show wanting to know me this man never met a mexican came up to me and took a sheet off me you're so funny for letting it be known that he's a latin man latin chicken leno now uses a non ancient chicken that's a man from chicago she took drugs spanish finally cut off emojis look i don't care that she me call just don't call me lazy you'll never see a mexican on a corner what sign will work for food maybe you'll see us on that same corner selling food you give us the bike that's an ice cream truck, you give us a truck that's a fruit stand, You play and give us a motor home, well that's a restaurant.
Hey, where's your restaurant? The type of addresses depends. I am very proud of the diversity of my culture. I had a friend who had never been to a Mexican restaurant and I took him there and he didn't understand the menu, he started questioning everything and I was bragging about how deep and diverse Latin cultures are. He goes well what's a taco versus a tortilla stuffed with meat and lettuce and cheese and sour cream it's delicious he says what's a burrito I said what sir tortilla stuffed with what's a fajita also kid who makes it yourself I think we were the same I think we are different look how we define miracles each ethnic group defines miracles differently white miracle is different than a black miracle is different than a Latin miracle different than the Chinese miracle our Asian miracle white miracle your miracles are usually because someone was testing You see nature on the news where they were cross country skiing they got trapped the blizzard barely made it out miracle, that's definitely a white miracle right there you would never hear that announcer say that José and Leroy got trapped in a blizzard rosealee ROI I know that if there is snow on the mountain, that is a message of the Lord's Day from the mountain white miracle immersed in a black miracle black miracles more light and then the judge dropped the charges brother if you can see people turning like this or like that damn Martha, I can't turn around, who says they're happy that March is going to happen? a different March black miracle an Asian miracle an Asian miracle more like today I drive to work no one honks at me and that's definitely Latin America Latin miracles more like I'm not pregnant one thing about comedy like I said before you should know the line I act in the south the line is different than here different in California it still has to make you laugh there are still comedy clubs in the south like in South Carolina where Friday night is for white people Saturday night is for white people Blacks still have to do it they laugh, but you have to know the line, e

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ly where racial tensions are very high.
I'm going south, here's the line when I had all the hearing. I was Presley, the lady died. Dale Earnhardt, that's the line right there. You're making a Dale Earnhardt joke. hear banjos play I was on BT Black Entertainment Television had me for nine seasons I was the Mexican on BT I know the line with my black brothers and sisters here's the line dr. Martin Luther King President Obama and not hearing black people listen with a lot of pride they let you know I heard they are very proud okay sir you can laugh at that joke go to a big latin concert that's my people I know the line here for this a great latin concert the Raiders Selena and Jesus in that order you could talk to the toughest gang cholo and then you say something bad about the Lord, he says, hey man, that's the Lord, he died for you and me, fool the man in the meter, it's not a real weapon, it's like it's so violent.
I'm going to save it. Okay, Lorraine, I saw her jump and it was ruining me. Now I grew up in Berkeley, California, melting pot of the world, but when I travel, I tell people who come from the San Francisco Bay Area that I've been to San Francisco. I tell people I'm from San Francisco right away and they say yes, earthquakes. I think San Francisco is the greatest region in the world for one reason and one reason only. I don't care how big your event is. If you bring it to San Francisco, it will be surpassed by something very everyday.
Follow me on this. You could bring a great event to San Francisco. It will be surpassed by something very San Francisco. A couple of years ago it was Navy Fleet Week on Saturday afternoon 400,000. People lined Fisherman's Wharf. I arrived two hours early because at 3 o'clock the Navy Blue Angels were going to come flying under the Golden Gate Bridge and passed over Fisherman's Wharf. 400,000 people at 3 o'clock. I arrived 2 hours early, but at 2:59 I was 6ft 8in, wearing hot pink shorts, a sleeveless top and a scarf, and he just strutted back. Oh Lord, witness.

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