Healing the Inner Child by Thich Nhat HanhAug 21, 2022
children we were very vulnerable we were hurt very easily a stern look from our father could make us unhappy a strong word from our mother could cause a wound in our hearts as small children we have many feelings but it is difficult to express ourselves we try and we try sometimes even if we can find the words the adults around us can't hear us they don't listen or don't allow us to talk we can go home alone and talk to our little son listen to our son and answer him directly i myself have done this despite that i received love and care from my parents this practice has helped me tremendously the child is still there and may be deeply hurt we have neglected the child within for a long time we have to go back and comfort love and care for the child within meditation on the five year old this meditation can be done sitting or walking it is important to find ar a quiet place a place where you can be comfortable and relaxed and uninterrupted try for at least five minutes while breathing in and out can say these words to yourself breathing in i see myself as a five year old breathing out i smile compassionately at the five year old who there is in me at the beginning maybe i want to say the whole sentence then maybe i want to use the keywords myself five year old smiling compassionately the five year old in you needs a lot of compassion and attention it would be nice if every day we found a one minutes to sit and practice this meditation would be very
healingand very comforting because the five year old in us is still alive and needs to be attended to with acknowledgment and communication we can see that child respond to us and she or he begins to feel better if she it feels better we feel better we also begin to feel a great freedom that child inside us is not just us our parents also suffered as children even as adults they often did not know how to handle their suffering so they did their chil Children suffer they were victims of their own suffering and then their children also became victims of that suffering if we are not able to transform the suffering in us, we will transmit it to our children each parent has been a five-year-old child. frail and vulnerable old boy my father and i are not really two separate entities i am his continuation so he is inside me helping the five year old boy who is my father in me heals both of us at the same time helping the five year old girl years that my mother was and that she is still in me I help her to transform and be free I am a continuation of my mother that girl who was hurt and suffered so much is alive in me if I can transform and heal my mother or my father within me i will be able to help them outside of me too this meditation will generate compassion and understanding directed at ourselves and also at our parents as five year olds we talk a lot about understanding but is there any higher understanding than this when we can smile we know we are smiling for our mother and father and freeing our mother and father if we practice this way then all the questions that make people suffer who am I my mother really loved me my father really loved me wanted what meaning does my life have become meaningless we don't need to go back to our homeland to ireland to china to find our roots we just need to be in touch with every cell in our body our father mother and all our ancestors are present in a very real way in every cell of our body even in bacteria awakened understanding has been transmitted to us from all generations all sentient beings and also the so-called non-sentient beings we are father and son sometimes we manifest as father or mother and sometimes we manifest as children as soon as the guava fruit is born it has guava seeds so it is already a mother or a father we can practice like this inhaling I see my father is a five year old exhaling I smile at my father like a five year old - boy father five years old smiling compassionately your father was a five year old before he became a father when he was a five year old he was quite vulnerable his grandfather could hurt him very easily his grandmother and other people so if he was rough or difficult at times maybe it was because of how they treated the five year old in him, maybe he was hurt as a little kid , if you understand that maybe you won't be mad at him anymore. you can have compassion for him if you have a picture of his five year old father you can look at this during meditation look at him when he was five and breathe in and out and you will see the five year old boy still alive in him and in you too when you mother was five years old she was also vulnerable and fragile she could have been hurt very easily and maybe she didn't have a teacher or a friend to help her heal so that the hurt and the pain stays with her that is why sometimes she may have behaved d unpleasant for you if you can see your mother as a fragile five year old then you can forgive her very easily with compassion the five year old that is your mother is always alive in her and breathing in you i see my mother as a child five-year-old exhaling I smile at that wounded five-year-old girl who was my mother five-year-old mother smiling with compassion if you are young it is important to practice to heal the five 1-year-old in you otherwise if you have transgender children you will pass your wounded child to your children if you have already passed on your wounded child to your son or daughter it is not too late you have to practice now to heal the little child in you and help your son or daughter heal the wounded child that you have passed on all of us as parents and children can practice together and heal the wounded child in us and our children this is an urgent practice if we can succeed in making this communication between us and our family will be restored mutual understanding will be possible we are in our children we we have fully passed on to them our sons our daughters are our continuation our son our daughter is us and they will take us far into the future if we have time to love our children with compassion and understanding they will benefit from it and make the future better for us they their children and future generations listening to your
innerchild to take good care of ourselves we must return and take care of the wounded child within e we you have to practice returning to your wounded child every day you have to hug him tenderly like an older brother or an older sister we must listen to the wounded child within us the wounded child within us is here in the present moment and we can heal him Right now my dear wounded little son I am here for you ready to listen please tell me all your suffering all your pain I am here really listening we have to hug that child and if necessary we have to cry together with that child maybe while we are doing sitting meditation we can go to the forest and do that if you know how to get back to her and listen like this every day for five or ten minutes healing will take place among us there are people who have practiced this and after a period of practice there has been a decrease in their suffering and a transformation after practicing like this we see that the relationship between us and others has become much better much easier we see more peace more love in us talk to your inner child your inner child and you are not exactly two but you are not exactly one either or do you influence each other as adults we can practice mindfulness and invite the inner child to join us in practicing mindfulness inner child is as real as the adult adult is as the corn seed is still real in the corn plant is there it is not just a matter of the past so if the corn plant knows that she is a wi The conversation of the grain of corn is possible if we have the tendency to go back in time and live the painful memories of the past.
We have to be aware that we and our inner child are going back to the past to relive that experience that fear and that desire has become a habit and we don't want to do that, it doesn't help. Instead, we talk to the inner child and ask him out to go out and know life in the present moment to stay in the present moment is a practice is a training as long as we are established in the present moment we do not suffer the trauma of the past in the present moment we can realize that there are so many wonders so many positive conditions both holding the hand of the inner child and playing getting in deeper contact with these wonders of life is really the practice sometimes we need to support someone we trust to help us do it easily because there is a natural tendency to regress to the past all kinds of wishes are the continuation of our original wish to be safe the little boy who will bear evamos inside continues to worry and be afraid in the present moment there is no problem no threat if we do not have a problem in the present moment it means that we do not have a problem why continue to worry and be afraid we have to transmit that wisdom to the inner child we have to let him know to the child that we carry inside who no longer has to be afraid we can go to the hill to be alone walk among the plum trees or the vines and talk to the inner child we can say my dear little brother my dear little sister I know you suffer you are my inner child me I am you we have grown so don't be afraid anymore we are safe we have the means to protect ourselves come with me and be in the present moment don't let the past imprison us take my hand let's walk together let's walk together enjoy every step we really should talk out loud with the child that we carry inside not only thinking but doing it maybe you like talk to your inner child every day healing it will take place and your child will join you in your life we can talk to the child take his hand and bring it to the present to enjoy life here and now if we have 15 minutes to talk like this with the vulnerable child within us we can expose that old fear thinking about boiling a pot of water with the lid on the steam will push against the lid if we take the lid off so the steam can escape the pot no problem anymore the steam isn't creating much pressure it's already gone similarly liberated if we can talk to our inner child in this way and expose the original childhood fear to the light of awareness we can begin to heal we have to reassure the child that although that fear is real it no longer has any basis we have become adults we can protect and defend ourselves a conversation with your inner child we have to talk to the child and just as important we have to let the child speak let the child express himself if we don't get a The opportunity to speak like a child here is that the opportunity for a small child try to put two cushions facing each other sit on one cushion and look at the other visualize yourself sitting there as a five, four or three year old and talk to my dear inner child i know you're there you're hurt i know you've been through a lot of suffering i know it's true because i was you but now i'm speaking to you as your adult self and i want to tell you life is wonderful with you so many refreshing and healing elements let's not get caught up in it carry on the past to live and experience again and again the suffering of the past if you have something to tell me please just tell me then sit on the other cushion sit or if you're like a three year old boy or girl and you can lie down and speak with the language of a child you can complain you complain that you are fragile and vulnerable helpless you can't do anything you are afraid you want it so much the presence of an adult person you try to express do that and you play the role of the inn er child if any emotion arises any fear that's good you feel real fear you feel the real desire to have someone close to you protecting you and so on and so on then you go back to the other cushion and say well i heard you my inner child and I completely understand the suffering, but you know that we have grown and become adults, now we are able to defend ourselves, we can even call the police, we can stop the other person from doing the things we don't want and we we can do everything by ourselves we don't need an adult we don't need anyone we can be complete within ourselves we don't really need another person to be ourselves the tendency is to believe that there should be someone else to play the role of mom or dad, but that is just a feeling that is not based on the reality that i have experienced that we can be enough in ourselves we can achieve the realization we ourselves don't need another person to be there for us to relax and be calm if you prefer that you don't need to change cushions or even speak out loud if you talk and listen like this with your inner child every day for five to ten minutes.
Healing will take place by writing a letter to your inner child. You can also write a letter from one. two or three pages to the child in you to tell him that you acknowledge his presence and that you will do everything possible to heal his wounds after writing some letters to your inner child, then you will be able to tell if the inner child has something write us sharing delights with your inner child another way to ensure that the child in us feels safe is by inviting the child in usinside to go out with us and to play on the ground in the present moment when you climb a beautiful mountain invite your inner child to climb with you when you contemplate the beautiful sunset invite him to enjoy it with you if you do it for a few weeks or a few months the wounded child in ti will experience healing sitting with friends of the sangha when we have been deeply hurt as children we find it hard to trust and love and it is hard for us to let love come into us but in this practice we are advised to go home and take care of our wounded child even though this is hard for us i need instructions on how to do this so that we are not overwhelmed by internal pain we practice cultivating mindfulness energy to become strong enough also our friends mindfulness energy can help us maybe the first time we go to home we need one or two friends especially those who have succeeded in the practice of sitting next to us to lend we get your support mindfulness and energy when a friend sits near us and holds our hand we combine their energy with ours and go home to embrace our inner wounded child if you If you have a loving sangha then your practice it would be easier.
Practicing alone without the support of brothers and sisters would be too difficult, especially for someone who is just beginning to take refuge in the sangha and have brothers and sisters to help him, give him advice and support him in difficult situations. moments is very important
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