Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel

Half in the bag or I can't stop farting. Oh God, no, sir. plink, they will fix your boiler soon we have another 36 weeks of winter left what it says here they are thinking of holding the 2020 Democratic National Convention here in Milwaukee really yes, it is between Milwaukee and two other cities uh what are the other cities in which Where is Houston located? Miami, but Miami says Milwaukee doesn't have enough class. What is the Milwaukee class? What are you talking about? Yes, Milwaukee has the most bars per capita, about one bar for everyone, if everyone could get that drunk, yes, of the 20 drunkest cities in America Wisconsin claims ten of them, that's almost a third Jay, we're talking about Milwaukee, not Wisconsin, what's the city in what's the state, it's Wisconsin Milwaukee, no, Milwaukee in Minnesota or Michigan, is there any Michigan Wisconsin that cares, all the people really know that.

It's that Chicago is there in Iowa, true, but what says more class than art and no, I'm not talking about the Calatrava Art Museum, I'm talking about a statue in honor of a Milwaukee legend, the bronze finances a character fictional television from 40 years ago. we also have a statue of a cancerous tumor and no I'm not talking about Dustin Diamond, hey remember when he stabbed a drunk guy in a bar fight? That was me, how embarrassing. Milwaukee also has the least fatal pedal tavern accidents and something to be proud of. And don't forget, every Friday, a group of Gordos gather in a large room and eat unlimited amounts of fried fish and chips.

It's called fish fry and Mike, which says more class and sophistication than calling a fountain a bubbler. That's right, Jay and Milwaukee are going green too. In fact, last year we installed our first solar panel. It is being used to illuminate the pub's opening sign "Walk Her and Drag Her Out", which is a real place. Finally we also removed all the lead. and Cryptosporidium from our drinking water, luckily the water still contains 5.6 percent alcohol and after nine months of a cold, miserable, sunless winter, Milwaukee knows how to party in the summer, we have some of the best festivals, that's right , Mike Summerfest is the largest music festival in the world.

The festival lasts 11 days, has 6,000 bands and over 200 million people attend at night, although it turns into a literal nightmare world with drunken riots and if Summerfest isn't enough, drunken noise and vomiting on the floor. street, literally every day there is something. type of festival that is held festivals such as the Locust Street Festival Bastille Days Italian Mexican Festa Fiesta Polish Festival Irish Festivals Brady Street Festival and Cream and Curd Puff Festival as motorcycles, while Milwaukee is home to Harley-Davidson and every August is the Milwaukee rally. 600,000 motorcycles from all over the country come to Milwaukee to cruise around, clogging traffic and causing horrible accidents.

One of the motorcyclists collided with a patrol car. Milwaukee police say motorcyclists were driving fast and dangerously all over the city and revving all their engines, who doesn't? I love the sound of six hundred thousand motorcycles constantly, but Mike, let's talk about food. We all know Milwaukee is famous for cheese and sausages, but we also have some of the best chain restaurants in the world. That's right, Jake, and let me show you an example. from a dish from the chef de cuisine of one of Milwaukee's best restaurants, these are pasta rings with red sauce served with meat made three ways, simply exquisite and, in terms of trade, Milwaukee imports more sweatpants than anyone else in the world, even Cleveland Milwaukee is proud to preserve. all those Indonesian kids employed, that's right Jay, but sadly one statistic I'm not proud of is that Milwaukee is one of the nastiest and loudest movie theaters in the world.

Well, that's unfortunate. I just bought tickets to Captain Marvel. Oh, actually, I think it starts in about 15 minutes. Uh-oh, we better get going, Miami. Despite being the dullest movie of all time, Captain Marvel is many things to many people. It is the movie. Rotten Tomatoes doesn't want anyone to have an opinion on it. The movie, the bearded white fools are protesting, they're so afraid of people highlighting this movie for what it is, which is feminist propaganda. Now I haven't seen her. The movie. Other bearded white fools are white knights. The movie Brie Larson no. I don't want us to see I don't need a 40 year old white guy I don't hate white guys Am I saying I hate white guys?

No, the movie that inspired a ton of cheap clickbait articles from terrible, clueless online journalists. how it works rotten tomatoes, the movie, easily manipulated, Twitter-obsessed weirdos have given it a ton of free publicity by convincing themselves that this corporate product is a feminist cause, the movie that had charity started so underprivileged girls could see what benefits absolutely no one except Disney buys these poor children some food instead of you, you are Captain Marvel if the movie is a success it is because society has become enlightened enough to celebrate an action movie starring a woman finally if the movie is a flop it's because of toxic online trolls finally no There are other explanations: eat multi-billion dollar corporate garbage and pretend it's social justice, weirdos, thanks for making the world a shameful nightmare.

What did you think of the Captain? Misunderstood, that Jake has to have been done by someone who is already right, it's too obvious, I thought. the movie was adequate and then I saw a clip of Brie Larson talking and now I hate the movie there's a clip of it it's like you ever heard of Wired autocomplete interviews or they take Google and take the celebrity's name and since it's Brie Larson and then you know she gives you the autocomplete options, so she did one of those and she seems like the most dismissive, nasty, sarcastic person, it's like a personal attack or something.

Brie Larson is left-handed, why do you need? knowing that I'm actually kind of ambidextrous and I can't believe you have to Google that, of course, I mean why and it shows a little bit in her acting and I don't know why, sometimes she's bratty, sometimes she's a Tony Stark wiseguy II, you know, he knows his jokes, congratulations, Agent Fury, you've finally asked a relevant question. Oh, sometimes, she's a confused alien, mm, sometimes she's stoic, I mean, they are, I have a lot of guardians of her. the galactic vibe is not because of the soundtrack but also a little bit because of his character, well that's what they were going for, yeah that's the strange thing about this movie, is that all the usual Marvel hallmarks are in place, but it never really sets. off the ground at least in my opinion, a lot due to her acting, while I don't know what her character really is, she can't remember her past, but from the beginning the bad guys touch her brain to that we can see her past.

We have to spend

half

the movie with her trying to remember her past, but we already know that, so there's no mystery or tension, yeah, which is a problem. I think we should talk about the elephant in the room and that's kind of the quote-unquote controversy surrounding it. this movie and Brie Larson's comments at some kind of women in film event and she had a big case of FMD. Well, essentially her comments were the first thing I saw was that a black woman was interviewing her and she says how important she is. women in cinema what does it mean to be a woman in cinema?

It means it's very difficult. I remember reading when Captain Marvel was about to come out or even in the early stages of production. Brie Larson chose Captain Marvel correctly and that was it. Finally, you know the 37-movie Marvel franchise, my female lead, yeah, but she's white, so there was kind of like they deflated everyone and there's a school of thought within feminism that if you're a white woman, No. I can be a true feminist because you are not doubly oppressed. All I know is that she is a white woman and she and they are not quite there.

Think about that interview clip. Yes, it's a black woman interviewing her and then Brie. Larson says it's hard for women in the industry, especially black women, and if you're a woman of color, then it's really, really hard, like turning the microphone around, letting the black woman talk about it, it's a racial explanation, could we call it that? Then you have this awkward moment, you know, it's like we didn't get 100 percent of what we wanted and I feel a little bit like Brie Larson had the spotlight on her, so she starts doing a little bit of virtue. pointing uh and then turns on the white man beat to show that she doesn't agree with the fight, only 2.5 percent of those top critics were women of color, this blonde white woman from Southern California, of course, and then she turns into this rant about cinema. critics that 67% of the top critics who reviewed the top 100 grossing movies in 2017 were white men, film critics were mostly white men, right, and then she broke down the statistics correctly and then said: I don't care whatever 40 years is.

The old white guy had to say the right thing, the white guy had to make it sound more condescending. Yeah, I don't care what a 40-year-old white guy has to say about a wrinkle in time because that movie wasn't made for him. I don't need a 40 year old white guy to tell me what didn't work for him about a wrinkle in time, it wasn't made for him. I want to know what that movie meant to women of color, biracial women, and teenage women of color. For teenagers, I'm sure there are plenty of white male critics who have seen movies that they quote weren't made for them and said there were great movies.

Well, I think there's a core to what she was probably trying to say that's a positive thing. thing, but I think the way she phrased it was the worst way possible. I'm sure I saw the documentary. They certainly call you horde and waar it only streams on shutter we are not sponsored by shutter but it's a horror streaming service it's a documentary about the history of African American representation in horror it's framed like it's naïve Living Dead to come out, so it's all about interviews, you know, black filmmakers, black actors and there's a part that's a really good documentary, but there's a part in particular where they're talking about the movie Candyman, which It's one of my favorite horror movies from the '90s, and they mention things about Candyman that I would never have thought because they come from, you know, a different life experience, a different background, a different story, I thought, that's cool.

They just made me watch this movie in a way I wouldn't have seen otherwise, a few more voices, it's a good thing, that's all she had to say, but by making it so weird and condescending and sarcastic like it's not necessary . Listen to the white guy, it seems so strange that different movies speak to different people of different races, ages, genders, but she's figuring out, at least from what I saw, that there needs to be more diversity in film criticism, which is so small how is. the least important thing in the whole world, you know what I mean and we say this as people who review movies, but it's very true in terms of social justice, yes, it's the least important thing, film criticism, yes, and That's the Another thing to point out too is that we're talking about movies like a wrinkle in time, as I know it was based on a book, but it's like Captain Marvel, Star Wars movies like these are great generic entertainment, we know we're not talking about tangerine moonlight, which is a movie from a few years ago that I really loved, which is about African American trans prostitutes and it's a fantastic move and what are its critic ratings.

Jay, a movie about a black transgender prostitute. I'm not talking to a 40 year old white guy, but he could bet dollars on donuts. A whole group of 40-year-old white men gave that movie a good review. Their logic was to compare the demographics of film critics with the demographics of the population. big disconnect with the US population breakdown of 30 percent white men, 30 percent white women, 20 percent men of color, and 20 percent women of color. Final note on this diversity, good white guys, bad guys, well that's the thing is she made those comments and it blew up. up and then you have the likes, like the angry internet nerds who have been worrying about it since I heard those comments, I was like, wow, she sounds like an idiot and then I moved on, but then you have these like there are people on the what do you like.

YouTube videos every day complaining about Brie Larson like she's just another Hollywood actor so it's like you know it's like everyone's lost their mind she feels that way yeah cause you're taking aMarvel I'm not sure if this is a proper comparison, but I was thinking you mentioned that Infinity War was similar to Empire Strikes Back, okay, so between Empire Strikes Back and Return the Jedi we have a solo Star Wars story, here's how It feels, yeah, well, yeah, it's not like you did it. I learned something super important in this movie that you need to know by the end of the game.

This is the backstory of the guy who is going to blow up the shield generator on Endor. It's not the best comparison because you know, I see what we're going to see. I'm leaving when I do, see what I'm leaving? I was like, "Okay, okay, and game is the perfect name for the next movie and take a break, well, but they share everything, we have Spider-Man far from home coming out." I guess it will be a story before Infinity War. I don't know, Spider-Man turns to dust just like Kurt Cobain. Okay, I got it, so yeah, it has to be before infinity or it's after and everything.

The existence of the movie is a spoiler, yes this takes place after the end of the game. Oh well, there's the Thanos beat and it changes the story. Now Spider-Man in Rome will end with the other 50% of life in the universe dissolving and then everyone will be dead. So that's when we just like to see an ultra time-lapse of the universe like stars burning cold death, as they call it right, all the lights going out in the universe and then the screen just goes black like the end of Lars. Von Trier's melancholy and then the screen goes black for an hour and everyone says: When will the post-credits scene happen?

This way for the post-credits scene. Yes, I'm not going to fight your war. I'm going to finish it well. Jay, how do we end this well? Mike, what would you recommend Captain? Marvel, you liked it a little more than I did. I guess you seem to agree about the movie itself, like I said, it was okay. I had some funny moments and some good scenes and a little clumsy in the narrative form in developing his character, which is a big problem because he is the centerpiece of the film, but it is certainly the only thing that will make the film stand out among the infinity or the end of the game.

Yes, I'm wrong, in my opinion, I think this movie relies heavily on a crutch. because it's a Marvel movie, it has that stamp and its connection between two big Marvel movies and it has the whole story for a while, like when these characters were running. I kept thinking about that Jupiter Ascending movie for some reason, I think it was like the elf ears or the dog nose or something I have more in common with a dog than you are the first person to think about that movie in three years, I know, but it was a lot about spaceships. and you know, and I was like, "Okay, what if it took Jupiter ascending and then, through Nick Fury, there and a tesseract?", and then I was like, "Hey, this isn't a movie, this it's a Channing Tatum with the the dog knows he's a superhero you've never heard of just trust us and then everyone would say this It was great 89% around tomatoes You're not a man I had that feeling yeah was completely removed from the Marvel Universe, yes, as a 100% independent movie, no other comic book movies existed and they said here's our sci-fi movie about a lady who stood too close to an engine that exploded in her face and then it turned into a space laser and and then a cat ate a cube and had tentacles coming out of its mouth, what is this?

Yeah, it's terrible, well, that's why Marvel was smart to get into cosmic stuff, they didn't really jump in and sell guardians of the galaxy it had the advantage of having a great writer behind it who could bring it out and make it interesting and knew how to handle humor a little better yeah the ironic fish out of water or fun of that kind. of fun things that the audience can relate to, yes, I think I would recommend watching Captain Marvel as a standalone movie, no, but as a piece of the MCU puzzle, yes, it can be seen.

I just say what I believe, I'm sure that's what I do. I'll speak my mind, so straight J and then Captain Marvel. I'm going to say no. I think it was the first Marvel movie that I didn't recommend. It was just a lot of nothing. I was a little bored just because you know. I mean, it moved at a pretty decent pace, but it didn't interest me at all. Did you find that Sam Jackson was more of a protagonist? I thought he was great in the movie. I guess we didn't mention it, but Nick Fury just sort of pops in and out, but when he first pops up it's like an agent, yeah, I'm in the early stages of forming something and what's going on, and then at the end of The movie has changed. man, he really has a character arc, yes, more than the protagonist when he finds out that all he has to do is achieve that.

In reality, he becomes the laser lady. I destroy the cosmos. I'm the laser lady so yeah I'm sure Captain Marvel is a Not a resounding recommendation but it's a yes yeah well because at least when you watch Endgame you'll know who's in because that's what I'm really looking forward to from the final Avengers movie, well, Jay Winter is almost there. That means it's summer time, what are you going to do with those six days?