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Guest Host Chelsea Handler on the Awfulness That is Melania Trump, Lauren Boebert & Ginni Thomas

May 08, 2024
and now

chelsea

handler

thank you very much thank you thank you thank you welcome to jimmy kimmel live I'm your

guest

host

chelsea

handler

jimmy is taking the summer off because men are weak this is my third night

host

ing and it's been a lot of fun monday we talk about roe v wade last night i covered the january 6 hearings and jeffrey epstein what should we do tonight who do you like better israel or palestine i like mexico i also like mexico yes it's the best do you know a lot of the comments online say that You and I have very good chemistry, do you agree with that?
guest host chelsea handler on the awfulness that is melania trump lauren boebert ginni thomas
Yes, I agree about cereal milk, we like it, yes, we are good, yes, good team, thanks, come on, come on, team, yes, well yesterday's news was about Donald Trump's totally psychotic behavior on day of the insurrection. We also got a glimpse of Melania's horror. His former chief of staff, Stephanie Grisham, tweeted a screenshot of an exchange they had during the attack on the Capitol, so she texted Melania. tweeted that peaceful protests are a right for all Americans, but there is no place for anarchy and violence, and Melania responded no, although this should come as no surprise considering all the terrible things Melania has said yes to. over the years. to visit an immigration detention center and children wearing a jacket that said I really don't care, do you? said yes to plagiarizing michelle obama's convention speech said yes to the most idiotic slogan in the history of the first lady know better said yes to questioning the legitimacy of obama's birth certificate and worst of all, he said yes to a Donald Trump's proposal, which is basically choosing to go to a gold-plated prison and become a stepmother to the four vampire children that Donald Trump calls his children, talking about women that I despise, let's talk about Virginia Thomas, wife of Clarence Thomas, she is the worse and I don't want you to think that I enjoy criticizing women I only despise women who fall into one of three categories hate other women are married to a man who hates women or is a racist whose cover is being married to a black person virginia

thomas

is all three refuses to testify before the house select committee about her role on january 6 sees no reason to testify when all she did was help lay the groundwork for the riot, talk to everyone involved in planning the riot and then attend the demonstration that led to the riot.
guest host chelsea handler on the awfulness that is melania trump lauren boebert ginni thomas

More Interesting Facts About,

guest host chelsea handler on the awfulness that is melania trump lauren boebert ginni thomas...

It's like she can't really testify. How come Virginia Thomas is the only woman in America who still has the right to choose? also ginny or virginia, whatever your name is, i want to go with vagina, okay, regina's lawyer sent a letter to the committee that ended this little gem. I have to believe that if her name was jenny jones, the committee would never consider speaking to her, yes, no. sherlock if her name was jenny jones she would be just another crazy person but she's not jenny jones and that's the problem she was texting conspiracy theories about the election to the white house chief of staff and she's married to a judge in the supreme court of the united states, the only By the way, justice, who voted against Donald Trump handing over documents related to January 6.
guest host chelsea handler on the awfulness that is melania trump lauren boebert ginni thomas
Meanwhile, in New York, Andrew Giuliani, my half-baby lost last night in the Republican primary for governor, we're asking all New Yorkers for their vote right now. I have three hours left until the polls close, vote for Andrew Giuliani, go out and do it, check the tape. I love where everything is right now, but every vote matters so get out there and vote. Thank you, Andrew, honey, I'll wait for you. I know you lost not because of your swollen bee sting head or because you have to smile like a pumpkin or because you have no grades, you lost because your last name is now toxic because your dad had a week after 9 11 when he was considered a hero, but then he ruined it when he went crazy.
guest host chelsea handler on the awfulness that is melania trump lauren boebert ginni thomas
There are so many unanswered questions. Would Andrew have lost if his father hadn't tried to overthrow democracy from a garden store or sweated sauce during a press conference? I will never know that my baby is having a very difficult week on Sunday. Rudy claimed that he was attacked in a grocery store on Staten Island and today the mayor of New York is calling for an investigation to determine whether or not Rudy filed a false police report, not only is Rudy exaggerating the phantom assault. He is also using the story to brag about his physical prowess. It was a very, very strong shot.
Now I am 78 years old. I'm in pretty good shape for a 78 year old. Not everyone who is 78 years old is in such good shape. as good as me you're not in good shape i'm in good shape and mick jagger is in good shape ok you look like a roast potato who got his ass kicked right before they put you in an easy oven, you know who else ? is in bad shape right now son Kelly today our Kelly was sentenced to 30 years in prison for extortion and sex trafficking when he heard yes we can applaud for that when he heard he was sentenced to 30 years r Kelly asked if the judge would consider one more sentence young for women i despise the monster of congress

lauren

beaubert of colorado won her primary last night i think bobert is one of the biggest asshole maga ever elected to public office and it's because of comments like this that the church is supposed to run the government the government is not supposed to run the church, that's not how our founding fathers intended and I'm tired of the separation of church and state, garbage that's not in the constitution, it was in a stinking letter and it doesn't mean nothing like what they say. okay let's think about that silly because I tend to be skeptical about getting constitutional law advice from a human seal they often tend to jump right to the second amendment and if you bother to read the first amendment the first words are congress . will not make any laws regarding the establishment of a religion, so it seems pretty clear that the government wants nothing to do with religion; secondly, if you are so interested in what the founding fathers thought, one thing they definitely thought is that women should keep quiet in public and not vote and not be elected to congress your friend

thomas

jefferson wrote that governments are instituted between men, so unless you have the founding fathers, I don't care what you have to say, but

lauren

, I don't think you do, do I know you?
The husband does it because he supposedly showed it to some ladies at a bowling alley, just like Jesus, and let's take a moment to remember that the founding fathers were a bunch of toothless guys who drank shidoobies in their backyard, thought their wives were a property and they wanted it. to protect weapons that fired marbles and took 11 minutes to reload and since we are paraphrasing Jefferson's letters he said that nothing is as disgusting as a woman who is not clean Google it and while you are there Google Lauren Bobert's diarrhea and you will learn that this moron owned a restaurant that served raw pork sandwiches at a rodeo that gave dozens of people diarrhea this is how lauren makes people pray and they scream please god stop me from making explosive diarrhea poop , poop in this body carrying rodeo, ah, things are getting to me. very hot and bothered anyway, the next big Marvel movie is on the way for Love and Thunder, which will make the seniors come July 8th and to celebrate, the cast of the movie sat down with Guillermo to play a game which he invented and which is like spinning the bottle but with Thor's hammer. what is the name of thor's hammer william uh espinda close enough here are william and the cast of thor welcome to you best interview ever okay I can't wait okay so listen let's play a game and you you're going to spin the hummus you have to get it right, okay then it's time to play, spin the mon jolner, did I say that right? perfect, yes, perfect, okay, ladies first, smash it, smash it, oh my god, you want to smash something, yes, I do, ready, all the powers, ah, oh my god, this.
It's really satisfying oh my god, oh my god, okay, look first, here we go, okay, I'll draw my dad, how much time do you have? It would be quick, look Ernie, draw your dad naked, yeah, lucky me. I didn't finish the bottom half oh wow there's your hammer so it's time to play spin the mon jolner. It could also have been um, who wants to be a meow? It's a great idea, okay, because you're my

guest

, go first, okay, okay. ready, here we go just yeah, here we go ready, ready, yeah, wow, that was fantastic. Okay, feed me a twinkie.
I don't think I can eat twinkies because I'm vegan. This is rare. I never had an interview. No, I feel so close. for you want to crush my eggplant, I was definitely crushing your eggplant, okay, pretty eggplant, good job, okay, it's like the drawing I made with my dad, let's be honest, yeah, okay, good boy, oh my god, make one more. uh one more okay you want it like this yeah like that yeah yeah I'll wash it from here that's it just the tip okay oh wow what an amazing job okay let's do this so you want to go first.
Okay, go ahead, what are you doing? you say chug mead, you got it, cheers, cheers, you're a seasoned meat drinker, I say, okay, gotta rev the wheel, okay, spin it, ready, yeah, shot of tequila, oh my god, cheers, shut it up trick oh, good idea, don't move it right. It's up to you, don't move it tequila shot, okay, ready, oh tequila shot, classy, ​​cheers, oh my god, I can feel it in my chest, are you okay, yes, I might need to be burped, oh yes, go ahead, oh, go meet powers

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