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Guess My Religion | Lineup | Cut

Jun 07, 2021
- You drink wine? - I don't. - Drink coffee? - I don't. - That's crazy because

guess

what Mormons don't do either. (laughs) Hmm, getting warmer. ("In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Edvard Grieg) - Hello, my name is Isla Gizon. - You can call me Pastor Abe. I am a traveling speaker. Evangelist, I only talk to people. - About? - Jesus. - Are you religious? - I am a seminary dropout. In fact, I was a youth pastor for several years. My old pastor stole a lot of money from me, it's a long story. - Today you are going to

guess

what

religion

each one is. - Oh, this is going to be easy. - Of course I chose the dirtiest outfit I could find (laughs). - Everyone, get out. - This is going to be offensive. - At your highest point, how religious were you? - Oh, I went through exorcisms, I cried after sex. (all laughing) Edit that part.
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Edit it. - Dude, you are such a hairy brother. - Blue Flamingo Members Lounge. Okay, sounds like a strip club. (laughs) - I'm like juggling Jews and Muslims. - Why, what makes you say that? - I guess you're from, maybe, the Middle East. - Yes. descent, yes? - Yes. - Oh my God, that's super offensive. - No, you're fine. - Well. - You're like a Muslim, Islamic, right? - Why do you say that? - Because of the place where you are from. - Where am I from? - Middle East, brother. You're like hairy. - You're also a little hairy. - Yes. - Skinny, modern, strip club jeans. (laughs) I think so, atheist. - Very good, next one. - I'll take that. - Thank you. - Well. - Hello - Hello (laughs) - Are you Jewish? - Why do you think I'm Jewish? - I'm starting to think that I think everyone looks Jewish.
guess my religion lineup cut

More Interesting Facts About,

guess my religion lineup cut...

This is bad guys. I've been binge-watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. - I like your sense of style, although very hidden. The only part of your skin I see is your face. - Evangelical. - Say Juan three sixteen. - Oh God, (laughing) - Boom! I have, I know exactly what she is now. Are you Jewish. Tell me, I don't know anything in the Jewish language. - L'chaim - Oh my God, this guy is Jewish. I mean, that sounded bad. (laughing) That sounded bad. (laughs) I'm about to get in trouble for this. (laughing) - Oo, oo. - Thank you. - What brand are they? - I have no idea. - You don't believe in brands. (scoffs) Fascinating. - That? - You don't believe in brands.
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Which is like not believing in vacations. Which sounds like you're a Jehovah's Witness. - What is your name? - Shiraz - Okay, so wine, you're Italian. And Italians are predominantly Christians. (claps) Hot now! - Oh man. What is your ethnicity? - I am Israeli. - Is there any food you can't eat? - Well, I eat everything, but in my

religion

we can't eat pork. - Are you kidding me? - Wait. -How many religions can't eat pork other than the one I know? - Alright. - Jew, everyone looks Jewish. (laughs) - Okay, mmhmm, yes, the tattoo looks tribal. - You look like an Indian.
guess my religion lineup cut
She is Hindu. - Is it because I'm dark? - Yes, it is, a little bit. - But you are also dark. - It looks like a tattoo of a Pacific island. So I would say Mormon. Many Samoans are Mormons. - How is? - Your Hawaiian brother. (laughs) - I was born in Hawaii. - I knew it, I knew it. - My mother is in Brooklyn. - So you have a Puerto Rican, your Catholic. I understand! You just gave it away brother. - Nice button-down shirt. I feel like you just took off your cleric collar. (laughs) - Can you sing me your favorite hymn? - ♪ They will live under your orders ♪ - You are Jehovah's Witness. - You are a father.
You are a Catholic priest. Motherfucker. (laughing) - My God. - You are Asian? - I understand that a lot but no, I'm Hispanic. - Oh, Catholic. (tongue clicks) - Because I'm Hispanic, am I Catholic? - One thousand percent. - Waterproof shoes, that means you travel a lot. Walk a lot, travel, do important things for the Lord. - Can you sing for me too? -♪ I see my mother kneeling with her family every day ♪-That was a lot like what my cousin did when she attended the Mormon church. -Do you drink wine? - I don't. - Drink coffee? - I don't. - Does your church have a basketball court? - Yes. - Ah ha!
I have it! - You're Mormon. - She's Mormon. - Catholic. I have that one. Right on the money bro. - I love your headscarf. I don't necessarily think that makes you a Muslim. - Where are you from? -Ghana. - There are many mission trips to Ghana. I have to go with Christian. - Amish, they also wrap their heads. Black Amish curveball. (laughing) - How do you think you did it? (laughs) - Terribly. - I think I only got it right with the Catholic priest. - I think I have this guy for sure, for sure. The hairiness, I can't get over it. -Raise your hand if he understood you correctly. (laughs) - Close the front door.
One two three four. - Oh! Wow, I did a lot better than I thought. - Wow. Strip club man. - Alright. So I'm actually a Muslim. - Ah OK. - I just couldn't get over the hairiness bro. - I just feel like I'm a bad representation of Muslims. - No, no, you are perfect brother. - Let's say if you were of Asian descent. - Are there many Chinese Muslims? - Yes, there is like an entire city dedicated to Chinese Muslims. - I did not know that. - Yes. - I'm Jewish. - Ah OK. - What gave him away? - I don't know, friend, I'm telling you, at first I thought they were all Jews. (laughs) - Actually, we were Reform Jews, specifically. - What does that mean? - Judaism is a very strict religion, since they do not want men and women to be in the same temples and Reform Jews do not agree with that. -What stereotype do you hate the most about the Jewish people? - People will assume that I am very stingy with money. - Yes, I heard that. - Yes. - I haven't heard that you're stingy with money.
I heard that stereotype and it's fucked up. (laughs) - Oo, I misunderstood you, right? - Yes, you called me Italian or something. (laughs) I'm from Israel. - Oh! I never would have imagined it. - I'm not Jewish. - I knew it. - What is your religion? - I am Druze. - Drusus, oh interesting. What's that? - So we come from the Middle East. - What's happening here in the United States? How many Druze do you have? - I don't find any Druze here. - Oh. - We have like five main prophets that we believe in. -Who are the five? - I can't say it out loud.
It would be too offensive. - Oh. - We can't say their names out loud. - Do you have to marry a Druze? - Yes. - So if you came home as a Korean, black and Druze, I would be kicked out of my village. - I'm sorry, Mom. (laughing) - Hello. - Hello, so I am Hindu. - Okay, but that's not a Hindu tattoo, right? - No, this is Fijian. I am Fijian. - Oh. - Yes. There are many Hindu Fijians. - Wow. - Basically, the British robbed my great-great-grandfather and took him to Fiji. - From India. - That happened, yes, in India. - Those British. (laughs) - Father. - I am actually a Jehovah's Witness. - Oh, I knew there was one of you here. (laughs) - Jehovah's Witness. - Yes. - Oh! - No, that was really, because I thought it was legit, yeah, she won't guess I'm JW.
Oh what? (laughs) - Correct me if I'm wrong, but you guys don't even celebrate your birthdays, right? - Yes, we don't. - So you've never had a birthday party? - No. - Have you ever knocked on my door? - No. - If you did, I would answer it. - Okay, I appreciate it. - Next. (laughs) - So I'm not Catholic. - Oh, what are you then? - I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints. - Oh. - Have you heard of them? - Yes, yes Mormons, right? - Yes, but we don't call ourselves Mormons.
Yes, because we do not want to remove the name of Christ from the Church. - Does that mean a Mormon doesn't call himself a Mormon? - Not anymore, they advise us to correct that now. - Oh, who are they? - Our prophet. -Who is your prophet? -President Nelson-Oh, he's like the Pope of the Mormon Church. - Yes, we have a Ladder Day Prophet. - Oh, yeah, that's what I meant, that's what I meant. - Yes. - Ladder Day, my bad. -Why does everyone think that Mormons have many wives? - Well, back then, I guess, there were no husbands because of wars and stuff. - So it was simply based on the fact that there was a shortage of men? - Yes. - There is a lot of talk about Mormon underwear. - Oh garment. - Is it true that you never take off? - Alright. - That's something strange.
I feel bad for asking. - They are sacred garments to remind us of the covenants we make in the temple. - But you'll never be able to get rid of that idiot? - We don't have to shower in it or anything. - Did you give yourself the middle finger before? - Yes I have. - Can we stay together? Oh! Oh ho! (laughing) Bad Mormon. - Oh, I understood you correctly. I know I understood you well. (laughs) I know, Christian, right? - Yes. - Boom. We just have that telepathy going. - What kind of Christian? - So my parents grew up Methodists, so I am a Methodist. - I grew up Methodist. - Oh really? - With the flame on the side of the cross. - Uh-huh, yes, yes. - Do you usually wear a bandage on your head? - I'm wearing it because it's cold outside. - Oh. - So. - So is there any difference between Christianity here and Christianity there? - Yes, I grew up here, but my family is originally from Ghana, so they are much stricter in what they believe and in certain things.
Like premarital sex, same-sex marriages, all that. Like I would say I'm more open to liking certain ideas than I would otherwise be. - Good thank you. - Yes, no problem. - Fellow United Methodist. - Yes. - I have a lot of student debt due to my Methodist upbringing. (laughs) - I did pretty well. - How did it go? (exhales) - I feel bad because I said a lot of things that I feel like I'm getting in trouble for. - You learned something new? - Drusus, is that what you say? - Yes, Druze. - Yes, I learned that it exists. - I feel very blessed and I will probably go to heaven now. - Raise your hands.
Will he go to heaven? (jeers and giggles) - Well, good job. (applause) - Thank you all. (crowd murmuring)

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