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Grown Man Watches "MULAN" for First Time!!

Grown Man Watches
let's go inaudible makers welcome back to another movie commentary Monday I was gonna do a completely different movie I was gonna do the movie swiped on Netflix because people have been saying it's bad and Noah sent Sanae was in it and I have this series on my channel called until I hate myself where I watch movies that I know are gonna be bad with the intention of stopping at the point where I hate myself and can't continue any further thing is I've never actually gotten to that point in that series where I've stopped the movie before it was over that's changed it heard me because I was like 20 minutes into shooting and it would just be so much easier just to continue in the movie pump out a video get it done for Sunday I couldn't cuz it was that bad now I'm scrambling to flee to another movie I decided to do

Mulan

because I saw like a live-action trailer for like I clipped for it on Twitter and I think it's a real thing that's happening you know what I should look this up live-action

Mulan

yeah this is a real thing oh it just came out four days ago twenty-one million views damn okay so yeah this is a real thing I've seen a lot of Disney movies there's a handful that I haven't seen

Mulan

is amongst them why not change that today I'm gonna watch Milan I know the plot generally because I play Kingdom Hearts when I was a kid she's a girl who wants to join the army but she can't because she's a girl full...
grown man watches mulan for first time
disclosure I don't know how good this video is going to be because I always do live action so I guess we'll see how this goes and if this goes well maybe I'll do other animated movies

Mulan

wait who does the dragon someone does the dragon's voice is it Eddie Murphy any Murphy the Murph man oh what a transition what expanse is she suck he looks really good oh this is in China okay that's the Great Wall of China oh you sketch you a sketch bird that's an evil bird I already know someone climbed the Great Wall of China let them invade your country yes let the whole army of bait because that is an impressive feat oh this the bad guy now all of China knows you're here sorry bad guy you ain't invading China today oh they just burn the flight oh he got fangs yeah vampire huh you thought you'd make it Twilight reference since yeah I thought about it but I believe my troops can stop him no offense but if that's your voice I don't trust you to stop anybody my troops can stop him my troops can't stop him we could do it can't you tell by my intimidating voice I could just yell and then they'll run away watch this run scary right animal abuse I see you

Mulan

oh you know what movie I should do is tangles I've seen parts of that but I haven't seen the whole thing that's on the list so I just thought of that because I saw the horse ha ha ha is Helen impressed to make me good today the matchmaker the doctor said three cups of...
grown man watches mulan for first time
tea in the morning matchmaker is not a patient woman who's the matchmaker I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck how lucky could maybe they're dead wait this movie's actually funny a cricket you caged the crickets oh she's uh commit suicide why is this reminded me a bird box Oh congratulations you got a lucky cricket you know thousands of dollars for all the carriage damage I always forgive these are musicals

time

yeah John that do we know we know she's gonna mess us up right like everyone's so worried about her and she's smiling right now like if she was nervous I would think maybe she gets through with that screwing out Dan you think girl what is this like tinder this is like tinder for a way back when recite the final app damn this girl's kind of ratchet she put a whole cricket in her mouth a live crickets oh my god you had a hot ass before but now how did that put it on a topo you splash her face when her ball is on fire out of that work you are a disgrace you will never bring your family honor dammit grandma it's your fault the cricket really messed her up let's be real here oh sorry dying father i disgraced the whole family you can die now knowing that I disgraced the fam I'm pretty sure he was dying I think there was a scene earlier where like she was praying for his health because he was sick or something I could be wrong maybe I was making up that's possible how does she get the dragon not the creek it would be...
grown man watches mulan for first time
a good sidekick but she's got the horse how many animal sidekicks does she get well I need one good sidekick right Julius call me your sidekick again and I will literally murder you you tall bamboo stick I've heard this one before I don't know this from will on well wiped off so easily man I've seen girls scrub their face to get their makeup off but you just one quick wipe what cut what is your cleaner what chemicals you got in your sleeve to just wipe off and just one swipe yeah sit down you disgrace I figure out a plan to get your honor back I'll become a boy that's right Oh supportive dad supportive dying dad what you thinking pop what beautiful blessings we have this year miss icebreaker father this one's late I'll bet that when it blooms will be the most beautiful of all good metaphor father of the year dying father of the year let's give him this award before he dies one man from every family must serve in the Imperial Army so the dad yeah he's the only man he's sick and dying already am I wrong I guess what he was dying thought he had an illness no my father has already you would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence shut up she's a flower blooming okay let her be you should I have more kids what are you thinking having one kid need more war buffers that's why I'm gonna have a whole gaggle of kids just in case just in case something from the government's like we need one...
man from your household I'll be like okay great not me take anyone you want I don't give a damn bro you go with that blade okay you're less good than I thought now he's sick he died in bra damn so quiet as this you shouldn't have it's an honor to protect my country and my family you'll die for honor to be honest dying for honor is probably the best way to die especially when you're dying already when he's got an illness I've just completely added a new subplot to this movie that's not there I don't sleep in the rain girl like you're gonna catch a cold formulating you plottin you're strategizing you're scheming you conspiring are you devising you're hatching you're operating mmm you're sketching but does the critic turn into the dragon that'd be a cool twist cuz we already have Jiminy Cricket we don't need another cricket in this universe in the Disney verse all about the hair girl hmm wait isn't her dad gonna know I thought no one knew that she went to war bro cricket what is your purpose man you ruined her chances at love look what you doing your dad

Mulan

he's already sick she could be killed if I reveal her she will be that's actually snakes I'd literally if anyone finds out she's a girl they will kill her Oh crickets turn into a dragon she's a troublemaker I knew I liked her you're misguidance led farthing for disaster thanks a lot spotty god this movie's going...
awaken the great stone dragon what sounds were those skrt skrt I'm doomed and all costs miss man decided to take a little drag show on the road ah the cricket okay here we go here we go are they gonna be with love interests well she got two animals plus the horse Oh yikes okay there's like an actual war going on kind of forgot yeah those are invaders Mongols are scary this looks like we're Mufasa was trampled I don't like this place Imperial Scouts you did oh he balding huh that's why he's so angry because he got the receding hairline tell your Emperor to send his strongest armies risperidone how many it take to deliver a message why oh they just implied that they killed one of them damn it's kind of dark I like it where do I sign it ah I see you have us who are you who's this man I'm working on it oh it's move on ha ha I couldn't tell she's so good at convincing people did my powers are beyond your mortal imagination my eyes can see straight through your

time

to show me Amanda chess hi Peter pot head oh that's a man if I've ever seen one punch is how men say hello oh damn she like knocked him out she had a strong as punch

Mulan

got powers say that to my face lip noodle you limp noodle seen something his ability to be a man you know what I'm talking about I do love surprises why does he sound like a traitor he just has the voice of a traitor number one in his class extensive knowledge of training techniques and...
impressive military lineage I believe Li Xiang will do an excellent job Oh what will are you his son and praise like impressive lineage that's something that I would say if I'm bragging about my kid no he's super smart really intelligent his brain is just so big also his lineage captain Lee Shang Lee Shang I'm gonna need you to leave shank the bad guy in this stomach good luck father I knew it Oh God that other got that old guys like me as a dad I don't need anyone causing trouble in my case manly urgent I know what I'm like when I get my manly urges what's our patch keep flavor is this thing's paler than me no way it's good it's pink ah thanks to your new friend ping you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice damn ping ping Ling is that her name oh all by her lonesome what are you here for can you eat him please cuz what you used to see him don't talk with your mouth full sweet he wants order but they thought he was taking their order from reckless retrieve the arrow you seem to be missing something this represents discipline and this represents strength you need both to reach the arrow sure that was their discipline of strength otherwise how are you gonna get the arrow I say that all the

time

he got pretty far I can't climb without the weights add the weights are how I'm gonna get there oh hello sudden song no rice the Pops you just wasted those pots I'm good oh my god Wyatt gum oh you gonna get...
the arrow was sober she's gonna retrieve that heirloom this is the training montage ah oh he carrying his weight his

Mulan

damn bro he's considerate hey she fired now if she gets this arrow though right oh by morning by morning come on yeah muli I know you were gonna do that okay little war ready now but he's chopping the tops off trees like what chance do you have against this man what the little girl will be missing her doll we should return it to her he's supposed to return the doubt through the girl I mean he won't kill a few hundred thousand people along the way at least the girl gets her down what's the sound effect ah yeah okay another he's got a tiny penis I think he does because he's short already and he's got this angry complex so I think he's got a small penis like guys who are really short and have a lot of confidence you know they have big penises this guy so we starting fights being angry Wow wait toothpaste was invented the historical inaccuracy yeah what guy ever holds a towel up here what guy no guy your troops will never see battle too hard to get Milan into this war this guy's messing with my plan I've worked too hard to send the girls be protecting into war you know what happens in war did die for what it's were get together no I think you're a great captain here we go oh no okay I thought they're gonna have an emotional moment yeah when are they gonna set up the romance typewriter sounds man the...
sound effects that they're using in this are really questionable news from the general carry on before I report you just climbed up a tree or from packing bags cookie moving out what if

Mulan

died The Guardian dragon who's supposed to be protecting the line gets her into the water and then she just gets brutally murdered what do you do you're like oh my bad damn how far are they traveling they're going up mountains it's gotta be like weeks there's a way to end a happy montage nice twist ah this is the village with the girl and the little doll big question here is did the girl get her doll back oh there's the answer I mean I'm sure the guy tried he seemed like a pretty good guy how was your father dead general Oh your daddy deddi huh you'll work on a dangerous look at this forest this horse is pissed you just give away our position Oh use the cannons God that cricket I'm so sick the last cannon there's only one left Oh God make use of it yeah they have like hundreds of thousands of soldiers and you have like 30 in your squad he dies if we die what chance do you have look at these screaming Hans oh you're so screwed create an avalanche smart quickly quickly how do you get that throaty in your voice bro he's a literal dragon what a dragon suit they breathe fire there you go avalanche that's smart she got take that on a whole army with one cannon did she get stabbed did she is slashed I really like the animation on this...
movie like how the Avalanche was coming down I really like to look at that horse what a loyal horse coming back Beauty and the Beast horse can't relate Phillippe beulah I thought you were loyal ha ha ha bleep you are you kidding me man one lucky boom why can't they just kill that thing oh that's how this movie ends with someone just accidentally stepping on it I'll get survives a war and a whole horde charging at you survives it all but it dies stepped on in a victory celebration sacrifice the horse no way the horse hangs on oh what's gripping the horse you are the craziest man I've ever met and for that I owe you my life yeah you just ended a whole war ping just literally saved her entire country with one shot oh yeah she did get stabbed good help oh they got the take her clothes off a woman so what she ended a whole war I did it to save my father yeah and you saved the whole country in the process what life for a life my debt is repaid Oh because she saved him I said move out when Bay catches you cheating well you just left her after she got stabbed saves the whole country get stabbed in the process saves your life and you just leave her Oh homie still alive right okay he got some he got some long nails you could use a good manicure god those things are Dane what are you a grizzly bear Oh a lot of them are alive and they're angry you all see their friends I have to do something did you see those Huns they popped out of the snow there's six...
of them what are they gonna do oh they already got back the news is already spread and they already planned a whole festival for the end of the war it hasn't even been a day you don't belong here come on go home yeah she saved the country so back off maybe a little bit bro you have to believe me why should I cuz she saved your country you said you trust ping why is

Mulan

any different because you have a vagina I don't just vaginas that's cuz they don't know who you are you're a crazy lady cuz you're sounding rude all day and uh scary best scary what are you gonna do there's like 10,000 people there oh they're in the that's like ten people that these guys like 8,000 pounds at least got an idea you had

time

to paint your faces the Emperor's hostage you guys are really taking your

time

I'll come on concubines you're in the middle of assassinating the literal Emperor of China and you're gonna get distracted they defeated the Mongolians with fruits bow to me no matter how the wind how's the mountain it cannot bow to it what a lie pieces hey wait a second watch out casually the Emperor just walks off he's like okay I'm just gonna go over here now cross some to eat let me know my guys are finished she can't leave him no she's got to stay to fight you the soldier from the mountains one sword swinging he just takes down Hope pillar just your worst nightmare it is jump to their deaths that's a long fall...
you just killed two people congratulations dragon you've met a lot of bad decisions it looks like you're out of ideas not quite ready moo shu you know you could just stop him you don't need to do some crazy antics literally stab that's not how you're supposed to use your sword for she used it as a way to do parkour badass Oh Milan you're a queen she's a human is a woman she'll never be worth anything I've heard a great deal about you far

Mulan

what's your hair you stole your father's armor mm-hmm impersonated a soldier mm-hmm deceived your commanding officer mmm dishonored the Chinese army maybe destroyed my palace undoubtedly and you have saved us all what I'm saying yeah Bao amp see to it that this woman is made a member of my Council there are no console positions open very well his job mm-hmm I think I've been away from home long enough then take this and this I gave up pretty easily those girls saved your entire country and then your life you're like I want to give you a position within my Council she's like I gotta head home here just like all right well you're some piece of medallion I hope that it makes up for saving the entire world yeah you're not gonna kiss her you let her run off on horseback Dan that horse can leave some stairs flower that blooms and adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all that's you tried to do the dad metaphor it it just didn't work does he know about his...
daughter I'm surprised he's still alive with the illness and all I brought you the sword of shun you and the crest of the Emperor they're gifts to honor the family he doesn't care about them he just cares about his daughter being nicest gift and honor is having you for a daughter dad gulls - the illness because you don't want your dad to have that illness but everything else Great Father if you ask me she should have brought home a man excuse me this family man live here whoo sign me up for the next floor I was getting ready for that to be like a really cringey line where that was funny would you like to stay for dinner would you like to stay forever shut up granny man that was good I'm just gonna go ahead and watch the trailer I'm not gonna like record my reaction or anything I just really wanna watch the trailer give me a sec the matchmakers found you an auspicious match the matchmaker it's my dude so she's like a badass in this one she's like just a straight badass I guess a couple of things that I hope for with the live-action one is they make the villain to be like really frightening I really thought they make him scary and then the other thing I hope for is that they like maintain some of the light heartedness because there's a lot of moments that I laughed in the cartoon now just for fun I only got through six and a half minutes or so of the movie but I might as well just put my clips in the jokes I had when I watched swiped...
so why not let's just put that in okay I don't know what this is about okay probably about cellphones I thought this movie was gonna be about him his car gets like sideswiped or something and he's got to go on a mission to find who swiped his card I just was something different man from nois Antonio I don't want this romantic love interests I wanted to be like Keanu Reeves in John wig I wanted to go batshit crazy and start murdering people that's what I want from Noah Santonio don't give me the same that I get every

time

Noah I'm warning you why are they doing long credits at the beginning of the movie you really want me to quit don't you bro just get into the movie yeah thank you do you know your roommates gonna be guy named Lance black against black come on could you create a faker name yeah I'm gonna be rooming with Marc Brown and across the hall is Jeremy yellow can't wait to meet him one day I will come an app that will really make a difference oh don't tell me this is an app making movie no it can't be no it was in a movie where they made an app there's no way he would do two movies with the plot as they create an app No oh this is so bad oh you can just feel it for how they shoot it how they light it it's just bad ah he's a ladies man do you yeah I'll see you man okay no yeah that's that's cool I have something to do I was gonna finish up on some work that OH oh maybe we could chat about it later...
shut up shut up oh holy cringe that was the most cringy thing I've seen I like I'm not even looking at the screen because I couldn't even witness it it was so cringy oh no oh why is everyone just whispering in this movie it's your last name why do you need so much information you see this phone no no no this is a 24/7 portal to all this exit I could ever dream of me you're absolutely I don't have to Jesus Christ he got so pissed he got so pissed whoa one during my last name uh don't you know I have a phone and can watch porn why would I did he tell you that okay you're obsolete I'm out of here his last name so oh my god oh my god bro this is the worst thing I've ever seen oh my god it seen you since the prom night in May oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god I have to quit I have to quit I can't I can't wow what a terrible movie told you you know I love you guys