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Ghost Rider - Nostalgia Critic

May 30, 2021
Hi Jerry, I'm doing this for

nostalgia

credit, what do you mean I don't get paid? Okay, okay, wait, wait, are you telling me I won't get paid for this? Hi, I'm the

nostalgia

critic

. Remember this so you don't have to. I've heard of worse ways to try to get Nikolas Cage into the Avengers. I guess Nicolas Cage was so good at making it look like his skull was burning off his face that this seemed like an Inevitable Decision Ghost Rider based on the famous Marvel comic series is possibly the coolest thing conceived since Bacon Robot Demon Slayer is mine, so how can an idea as incredible as this possibly go astray in getting the writer and director of Daredevil Elektra and Jack Frost? that's a good start yeah the guy who made something that's supposed to be adorable, scary and something that's supposed to be scary, adorable, we're in good hands let's end Nicholas Cage month with

ghost

rider

.
ghost rider   nostalgia critic
The film begins with Sam Elia giving an opening narration that immediately makes me think we are watching a commercial for a Chevy truck. It is said that the West was built on legends, tall tales that help us make sense of things too great or too terrifying to believe. This is the legend of the

ghost

rider

and I'm talking. about the guy here, he talks about a person who did the devil's bidding until he came across a contract of a thousand souls, but that contract was so powerful that he knew he could never let the devil get his hands on him, yeah, like that that a piece of paper is the grand finale this movie has to offer because there's nothing scarier than the legal ramifications, so he did what no writer has done before leaving the devil himself behind, so what you're saying is that the devil in this world is quite boring.
ghost rider   nostalgia critic

More Interesting Facts About,

ghost rider nostalgia critic...

The thing about legends is that sometimes they are true and sometimes there is a man. Okay, I'm going to get my Big Lebowski jar here because trust me, I'm going to need it, so the credits roll across the screen to reveal Bowser's Castle on Mario's level four. kart, here we go, years later, as we see a young daredevil named Johnny Blaze participating in a father-son act, presumably called The Flaming Speed ​​Racers, but his father doesn't like how he tries to impress his girlfriend at the audience. i'm already fucking i was just doing it for the crowd you both know why you did it you think she'll support you when you're in a wheelchair a good shot i never would have expected a daredevil to be so boastful but things get complicated when his girlfriend named roxanne played by eve mendez tells her boyfriend she has to go and it's me, are you expecting albert finney's big shot narration to take over any minute?
ghost rider   nostalgia critic
We'll get on our backs and keep going. Tomorrow at noon we'll meet here that's when I realized my adventures had just begun, all until I dressed as a woman on that island on Summer Island, that was a strange weekend, but he finds out he can't leave because his father I found out that he is dying of cancer, which is news for a certain man with horns played by peter fonda worried about your father what happens with cancer is the time it takes plans have to be changed I couldn't help but notice your cartoonish shadow and stupid.
ghost rider   nostalgia critic
Maybe you're some kind of muppet, would you be willing to make a deal? Name your prize I will take your soul I knew you're from Google right? I already registered for Google Plus although I don't need it. How much more control do you want over my life? Blaise agrees, of course, to make a contract with him and his father is miraculously saved from certain death only to accidentally fall into certain death. Damn, oh dear, who would have thought you couldn't trust? Damn, you're no good for me, buddy, you killed him. I awkwardly ask you to pull my finger in defiance.
I will be watching for the devil to claim you as his property, which means he can't run away with his bride. He doesn't even give her an excuse, he just looks at her and walks away like the wind or the rain or something and we move forward years later to the revelation of our star, the man in the cage, whom he has transformed into the most famous daredevil in the world. world, but his assistants. I wonder how he has been able to survive so many injuries without a scratch for so long. You should take a nap after that rag doll today.
I was lucky you had an angel watching over you. Yeah, maybe which one is the Annie. My part draws. Maybe it's something else. it's maybelline but not too far away we get the reveal of our main villain played by wes bentley I just like doing that randomly, you know, just walking through the empty desert and suddenly going, I mean, it may seem pointless to you, but yeah If there happened to be a camera in front of me it would probably scare a seven year old, but not an adult because that would be childish nonsense, but I'm going to keep doing it because you know it's fun, it's just my thing, you know it's just me , I'll catch you and yes friends, this is what the villain of our movie looks like because isn't this the one you want to see Nicholas Cage take on that bag filming American Beauty oh yeah, he's as good as when. they joined vin diesel against kat dennings or dwayne the rock johnson against tyler perry like medea or mark wahlberg against that snowman from frozen don't underestimate him, bite him and get Curly out of the puppets of hell and call his minions from the concept of rejected matrix.
Well, that's happening. Cage takes up residence in his garage where he seeks to relax before his next big stunt. Oh, I see you still haven't gotten the lock for your elevator. That's cool, you got a lot of expensive bikes here, man, I told him. Well jb, I said it before, I'll say it again, this place could use a woman's touch, so could you four out of five smash one more and you'll get the full set? In fact, I want to talk to you about something serious. it's about you jumping on the anniversary of your father's accident yes, let's see what other exhibition I missed here oh books yes books you still have to read books jb about this the anniversary of your father's day I'm trying to relax mac yes Understand, it's okay, it'll only take a second and I'm not even kidding, I swear to God, I'm not making this up.
Cage's idea of ​​relaxing in this movie is pouring jelly beans into a martini glass and laughing at videos of monkeys doing karate. Do you know why I have the feeling that Nicholas Cage wouldn't make this movie unless this specific setup was present? It would really be a surprise, so he's about to pull his biggest stunt ever when he runs into his old flame, Roxanne, who is now a reporter. and offers what many would consider a very typical Nicholas Cage interview, Johnny, what drives someone to risk their life for entertainment. I heard you got married most of the time, the press focuses on the accidents, the broken bones, the cost of what you do there, whatever.
Because yes, why do I have a terrible feeling that this demonic hell spawn of fire and awesomeness is going to be just some guy who wakes up for two hours and makes his jump, but he realizes that he wanted to talk to Roxanne a little more ? some more effects if you want, wait why don't I make it more convincing by adding navi and jar jar binks to the mix? They'll love you for a long time, so he finally stops them and has a nice long conversation with his gaze. You were 17 years old and you witnessed a tragedy and you ran and I understand it now as I understood it then and I have no hard feelings, none of you know and that's why they call it the past because it's over, it's over, I call this the yes I did it in real life I'd probably get arrested kiss worked great in the notebook at eight o'clock yeah so Cage finally goes on a date and after years and years of regret and frustration he subtly gives her another chance what does Cage do with this one chance? he's late because he's too busy looking in the mirror you deserve a second chance a typical caging this makes roxanne so angry she checks her magic 8 ball wait what movie is teen my little pony bad fan fiction is there an anvil too? her purse to knock herself out in case she sees something else that might surprise her, oh my god, another cute boy I liked, but Cage is interrupted from his incredibly important mirror looking through the fires of Fonda, who now tells him that Cage is the writer.
He must prevent his son from getting the contract that he now, spontaneously, for some reason decides he wants. I guess you just go through puberty and suddenly want the contract of a thousand souls. Imagine you are under contract. Remember that if you succeed I will give you your Soul back, you know, I guess it's appropriate to see how easy it is for the writer to go through a mission too difficult in any way to become emotionally attached to the fighter, so the son of the devil and his Drew tried locate Cage, but they found a man in his flashlight, oh for love's sake. movie when the hell someone carries a flashlight unless you're in the haunted mansion or in the Scooby-Doo episode you use a flashlight you really shouldn't be here that's what they keep telling me Buck Cage falls when he finally starts transforming into the ghost rider and there's no CG used here, Cage people can just set themselves on fire whenever they're asked and I'm not going to lie when the ghost rider is on screen it's pretty impressive looking for someone, given that their voice isn't all that interesting . but then again, I guess it would be even weirder if it was still Cage's voice coming out of there you turned me on you turned me on by um you're not too tall you're not too short you're not too round so The writer is ready to kick ass until be caught by Nicholas Cage's greatest archenemy.
What's up with Nicholas Cage and Trucks? If he's not dreaming about them hitting little girls, they are hitting him in real life. Maybe Optimus Prime just likes punk with celebrities. in the autobots, let's scare the effects whoopi goldberg, the scum bag manages to get out and turn his ashes of revenge into ass dust, you're sure to hit me with that damn truck, so after chasing off the evil planetaries, Go around the city trying to take even more evil souls to hell. One of them is understandable, so I try to eliminate Rebel Wilson. Thank you. I'm going to ask Conan O'Brien to finance a horrible comedy.
Your soul is stained by the blood of the innocent. Well, you don't have lips and yet somehow you still form consonants, so he takes his soul to hell, sleeps well, and ends up in a cemetery owned by, of course, Sam Elliott, who knows everything about him. Did I say something funny? We have a lot of irony here. Oh yeah, I forgot, it's Sam Elliott, a man who has muttered dialect over his inability to eat his own mustache. I have a nice and cozy place chosen for you. I mean, it's kind of an oriental thing. Things are done much better when they are caged and elliot has to carry on a mumbling conversation sterilized pen and see if there have been others sterilize that for me there were some psychics the souls of evil jesus I have had a better time understanding the wookies in the special cast star wars christmas angels fallen out of heaven thinking about Michael himself, then he tells him that the son of the devil and his minions were angels expelled from heaven and we also learned the name of the son of the devil.
Are you ready for this, no, seriously, are you ready for this? It's quite fun. What does this have to do with the black heart? The black heart Okay, I'm totally convinced it was originally a care bear cartoon. I mean, think about it, the silly shadow, the flashlight guy, the eight ball, these are all things you'd see on a preschool Saturday. morning lineup and now the villain's name is Blackheart Blackheart is like calling your dark villain evil or evil, I mean, with all this talk about the devil and fallen angels and stuff, do you really think this part got to the Bible?
Do you think it was? actually, the name of the devil child, well, I don't want to step on anyone's religious toes, so let's double check it to be sure. Oh wow, the revelations of 2010 and the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone along with his son. he haha ​​his son boo boo I can't believe he's saying this his son black heart plahaha okay guys, who's bothering me? Wow, God has a sense of humor, tired of cleaning the house with those oily rags that seemed to move the earth. Well, why don't you try Sam Wow, the only towel endorsed by Sam Elliott.
The instructions are very simple, it works on any surface except latex, which would cause a burning reaction if it came into contact with human skin. You didn't see anything, did you? I miss the cameraman, well that's not taking any chances because someone needs to soak up all that blood and remember, look at your friend, you've got more of that good salesman, so after Cage realizes he can summon fire through his fist and try to scare yourself in the mirror, hey. To be fair and scarier than this guy, I'll get you, I'll get you, he apologizes to Roxanne, who is rightly not happy that he abandoned her once again, until later that night, when she realized that he was somehow bad, I came toExcuse me, I'm leaving town tonight and uh, I didn't want what I said today to be the last words between us, okay, no, it's not ma'am, what's wrong with you?
You have nothing to apologize for, this is the guy who abandoned you when you were going to run away with him forever and then never showed up when he was trying to make amends, mainly because he was looking at himself in the damn mirror. He seems to do a lot of that in this movie. These are big problems, and yet you constantly treat it like he spilled mustard on your dress or something. Well, at least she's saying goodbye and she's not stupid enough to spontaneously go back to him. What's the matter? I've seen pong games that don't go back and forth as much as you do and yet, what does Cage end up doing?
I think he should get into your car. Okay, I've never seen more clearly labeled landing lights for getting out of a relationship and yet she's still trying to fight for her heart. You almost got killed on the road. So you can ask me out and then you don't show up, so you keep my picture, but when I kiss you, you try to push me out the door. What is it that you don't care about me at all, Johnny? In the way that I don't care in any logical sense about you so that she can finally give him a logical explanation, she can at least understand.
I sold my soul to the devil. Well, most women would kick you on the rocks for saying something so stupid, but you raise an eyebrow like that and suddenly you go from being a ghost. Flynn Rider Writer for the Devil Yes, I'm a bounty hunter, but it only happens at night like now, so tonight you'll believe it soon, which is why it's probably a really good idea for you to run home now, Roxanne. See, this worked when I broke up with eight other girls. I'm not sure why it has no effect on you. I realize that you prefer to make up ridiculous stories and, to be honest with me, she ends up not believing you.
Big surprise, so I guess it's time to present some proof. Wait a minute. A few minutes ago you were shooting flames with your fist and now you just hope she trusts your word. Would you believe me if I said I was Superman but the cops found out it was him? destroy the city and put him in jail, which makes him go crazy from being surrounded by so much evil, it seems like someone is tripping, it could be a big shot, but here you are nothing more than a monkey in a cage and don't you know You don't put a monkey in a cage, you put a cage in a bear?
It just makes more sense, so all the nastiness brings out the writer and once again he's pretty badass to watch, but sadly the badass meter drops when Remember him taking on the team's hot topic? You just love my toxic love. Things don't get much better when the police start chasing him, but he has an amazing way of getting out of it too. Get over it, you're here for me, it's okay, sorry. Captain, but he apparently he was pissing off the flaming skull. I'm going to McDonald's now, so pull out Bob James Franco Marley and start heading back.
Well, that was amazing. Throw some flaming doves at that one and try not to hit the woman. We let them walk ahead of us for some reason, so Roxanne heads to Cage's house because clearly no police would be looking for him there. I think the police in this town are mostly made up of this and of course the bag filmer is waiting for Roxanne, I almost make it. you, you shudder a little there, you shudder a little, no one is handsome, your hanging gaze doesn't work on me, I have no soul to burn, I guess the caretaker forgot to mention that, huh, he also forgot to mention that you can .
He doesn't drown a skeleton but anyway he knocks him down and tells him he's taking his friend. You don't work for my father anymore. You work for me. Get the caretaker contract. Bring it to me in San Revenge. I'll be waiting at Spencer's equipment where I work, so he goes back to Sam Elliott, who apparently has had the contract the whole time, but why the hell should he hand it to me? He may have my soul, but he doesn't have my spirit. Any man who has the guts to sell his soul for love has the power to change the world.
Hey, this is My Little Pony fan fiction. Can you watch an episode that ends like this? Anyone who would give their soul for love has the power to change the world, doesn't it? right ghost pony writer right, so Elliot reveals that he was the original writer and decides to travel with Cage finally showing his true four, it's time to deliver a badass climax of fiery biblical proportions with these two, this is the end of the road for me, huh? just change one more time and i was saving up for this wait a minute you didn't save it to help him fight evil to save the world you saved it to be a hot gps it's a cool cage from a previous scene smeared with you've been trying to make Things have been going well since then.
Thank you God knows I have made many mistakes. The most recent was wasting that horse on fire. Thanks guy. Oh yeah. If I need directions to an all-night taco bell, Be sure to call upon your fire again or if I ever lose my cell phone in the dark, I will call upon your fiery glow once again. I won't just use a flashlight or flashlight that we're apparently still using in this stupid beginning universe. to see why Stan Lee didn't make a cameo in this stupid piece of So Kade costumes to how they put it on Brendan Frasier and the Mummy again, rescuing the damsel in distress, killing the bad guy and saving the world, yeah, while delivering the contract, but discovers that he can't become the writer when the sun rises, so the cool code badass fights the rebellious, whiny goth kid half his age while little demons fly inside his body, turning him in the most powerful entity in the world, oh i' Sorry, I was reciting the climax of Blade, how silly of me, here's the climax of Ghost Rider, the badass in the cool code, fight the rebellious, whiny godchild half his age as little demons blind to his body, making him the most powerful entity in the world.
God you fool I'm confusing the two my name is Lee and seeing as there are a lot of us we all vote to see if we should talk normally or extend our votes like Dark Heart okay I need one of these so Cage tries to shoot him just because . I'm sure the most powerful thing in the world can be stopped with a shotgun, which may actually be a little strange, but he manages to get him into the shadows, where his powers can still make a thousand souls burn. . Oh yeah, I probably should have thought of that. about that hole that turns into a thousand souls in front of the guy who can kill a thousand souls, he screams, so Cage eliminates him while the devil is pleased and offers him a chance to return to normal, you get your life back, the love you've always had had.
I wanted you to be able to start a family of your own let someone else bear this curse now you are free you must think about the reason for the sequel you must find a way to get rid of your girlfriend again no, I will own this curse every time blood is spilled innocent, it will be my father's blood and you will find me there the spirit of revenge I will make you pay for this I mean you didn't put any emotion into that scene I'm starting to wonder if we have the real Nicholas Cage this of course means abandoning his woman again only this time the reasons are even a little more stupid this is what you should always have had your second chance don't worry we will meet in more embarrassing circumstances at the bad lieutenant's port of call new orleans and cage rides into the desert in the most cartoonishly weird way possible, which is very appropriate seeing how the rest of this movie was more or less like one big cartoon, so it was Ghost Rider and when there was a real Ghost Rider in it, maybe it was something brilliant.
I'm just a visual geek, but every time that skull appears on screen, the movie looks pretty fun, but in a surprising cage of motion it really underplays it, which can sometimes work to offset some of the strangeness. Well, that was strange. but most of the time it's just boring maybe I was hoping the contrast of the visual with her monotonous delivery would make it even, but if the movie wants to be funnier she should have played her as Caster Troy or one of her other over-the-top roles, this is a bit disappointing, the rest of the movie relies on comic book gimmicks and not the fun and inventive ones, more the ones you've seen a million times but the filmmakers think you're seeing for the first time.
For some reason it's a stupid, silly cliché, which is usually fine for a cage movie, but in this case it was just boring and it takes a lot of skill to make a compelling character like this come to life, so yes sir director, scare us again with your creepy ass, no man because this stinker won't keep anyone awake thanks for joining me for the month of Nicholas Cage I hope you enjoyed it and well, there's only one person fit enough to take us out, the big man same sam elliott, i couldn't have said it better myself, I'm the

critic

of nostalgia and a new year of madness is on the way and remember kids, some moms are always trying to ice skate up the hill, smearing themselves with you.

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