Fugget About It - Best of Jimmy and Cheech (Full Episode Compilation)Jun 10, 2021
So how about good fishing? It is a barbaric and disgusting effort. Yeah, me too, thanks for coming since Fredo and the Godfather got beat up. I never go fishing without a kid in the boat. You never capture us alive. They can take me alive. Not if I can help it. Hey, look the cops are licensed and registered with pigtails, please say that when you report this to headquarters, you will use a radio or smoke signals. Oh, Uncle Cheech, you can't make jokes like that. I'm sorry. officer ah, lighten a bust like this is a real feather in your cap please get out of the car sir what are you going to do scalp wait a second you can't arrest someone for speeding this is Canada sir I'm arresting you for hurting my feelings Oh, I turned down nothing but nothing and the garden goes crazy Hi, I'm Annabelle Westminster, this is my daughter Emily, oh, and the lady I don't know gets one on the head, Jimmy, we have company, don't do that in life. room, take him to the kitchen, that's my husband, stop playing hello, I'm cookie, cookie MacDougall, what an interesting name, it was a stage name and it's stuck.
Oh, are you an actress, dancer, ballet, that's a dancer, leave it, what the hell are you supposed to be from Emily? a country girl, she was hoping to earn the recruiting badge from her, but clearly we've come to the wrong house, what's that supposed to mean? It's just that some people are right for country girls and others just aren't good enough. for the country girls I have news for your sister we are too good for the country girls what is a country girls problem with the law? Well, Tata, okay, that's it, Gina, you're going to join the country girls, ma ma, not now, mom, no, I don't love you. you're a girl you can be a country girl and an argument Baba really PS on a free throw the bell hello you have a collect call from Jim we don't accept the charges but I'm in jail you have to get me out and tape Star Trek not the first the third wait which one is Oh, just as I was heading to the playoffs, what are you doing trying to grow a penis?
Wow, Canadian prisons aren't bad. I'm here to see Cheech MacDougal, oh yes, sir. mcdougal checked in earlier today, we have him housed in cell block D to enjoy, just turn left into the zen garden, shampagne's, hey, I don't mind if I give you a dirty fuck. Hey look guys, Darrell came out of isolation, how was he so chill? That's worth killing. lucky duck guard Cheech Hi Jimmy, it's great to see you come in, it's not closed. I bet that's what prison in heaven is like, but how is this a detergent for crime? mcdougal can I get your dinner order?
Thanks Danny. I'll have this surf and turf and don't forget to grab a pencil to order that she won't be sucking on the Queen's teeth tonight, teach, teach, teach, you were making such good progress and then you go and let me down like that. I intend to let you stay in this hell. Why does Cheech take all the breaks? This is no laughing matter, Jimmy, do you know what he did? Do you know what he thought about it? Come to think of it, I didn't want Lee to insult a member of our country's First Nation. Oh, I just made fun of him, and yet I was able to get the charges dropped on the condition that he attend a cultural sensitivity seminar at Paul's Black First Nations. reservation I think you poor African Americans can ask yourself tomorrow when you attend the seminar Jimmy, what do I have to go to? because I haven't appreciated your attitude, look at my little girl so pretty, so tight, actually she seems a little loose.
Yeah, that's too lazy, she's gone, look, I've had enough, you'll be a country girl and that's the end, mom. Not only am I saying this, but I swear my penis just went in. I like this damn one in red, no. only green blue not only green I look great in pink we only have it in green choose a screen the greenest green is like blue I don't know Jimmy I have some reservations about this who will remove it if we get along with these guys. side maybe we can leave early how are you I'm Jimmy MacDougall I just want to say we attack the Scots they love Indians they love Indian culture they love Indian food although curry keeps repeating in me that's Indian food yes sir and I love it now We're friends, how about you sign this so we can go home?
I'm not sure how this is supposed to work, come on, guy to guy, what else can we learn about you guys? Ah, jeez, I broke your people's tree. We burn sweet grass to purify ourselves and please the spirits. Okay, I'll do this, but you better have some snacks. Clear your mind. Look to the sky. Your spirit guide will be revealed to you. I called mine. I have a falcon. What did you get? type of abomination against God, the ancient said that when conflicts arise we must look for common ground, we must find what the Indians and the Scots have in common.
I don't have anything, hey, I have one. How is this? In Scotland we wear skirts called kilts and you all wear loincloths. What I mean is, none of us like trousers, our people don't wear loincloths, we'd freeze your racist Scottish bastard's balls off. Oh everyone, calm down, hey, it's a good piece, my dad gave it to me. He gave it to her and his father bought it in a store. I didn't know you guys were up in arms. Well, if they're going to kill something, what are they going to use a banana for? Hey, we love to kill.
You want to see. by killing we'll show you some killing oh he meant kill animals breathe slowly concentrate on the animal honor its noble spirit and then we'll blow its brains out when you're ready this grassy hill reminds me of a hit on a certain president who had nothing to do it you know that our way of doing things is much more efficient efficient listen fool we use every part of the animal and many of them are disgusting quiet young one may have something to teach us tell us your way great and wise fat man, oh, we have many, you have to Get really close and the butter bean Amba hat is what makes it a complete uniform cookie.
Hello, what are you doing here? I'm looking for one, and good news, we received the cookies for our annual sale. pick up your boxes on the way out along with the updated list of local sex offenders be sure to read it this year Mary, but she bought so many cookies, so many cookies, don't work too hard for your daughter, my Emily has broken the sales record for the last three years so Maybe it's because you haven't had any real competition and we still don't, that was a nice insult, let me reply, but that was an insult, come see me later if you want another cookie.
I cordially invite you to bring it, oh, that's it, and the sewing bundle, the baking badge, and the composting badge. Is there anything I can match for your sincere efforts in our cultural exchange? We would like to make you honorary members of our tribe. black, poor name, they'll hunt you with guns and they'll know you by your brain, hey, that's what my dad used to call me, oh no, they're here, what's going on, the government is building a highway through our sacred hunting grounds, those savages, no offense. I tried every legal avenue to stop them, but they are the government.
You have to fight back yourselves. Go to the mattresses. Historically, fighting back hasn't been our
bestoption or they've never read a book. What I mean is that they can't leave it. getting away with murder in Brooklyn, Scotland, when we had a problem, we did whatever it took, blackmail, bribery, kidnapping, extortion, tell us more gun hunts, well those are typically the big four, but it's not an act like that. I was telling you about these stupid cookies that I'm going to get off my old lady's back, but he's allergic to wheat. Can we go home now?
No, we're not going home. I will show you how to sell and you will do it very well. Hello, this is my daughter Gina, she is selling cookies for her. the country girls no thanks wait she's very sick and won't be with us much longer Oh honey, in the next act I'll tell you Jimmy, that spirit guide showed me the things that have been hunting my dreams, come on, he couldn't It's been so bad it was hairy with a tail like a beaver duck face red claws get out of here it's called a platypus hey language no no look I'll Google it that's it that's my spirit animal yeah it looks like Satan dropped a devil Come on Jimmy, he'll listen to you, Jimmy, you won't believe how many stuffed cookies we sold tomorrow in deadlines, we could just slide.
I'm going to shove that sales record right up Annabelle's ass, hmm, foul language, hello cookie, I'm just going to let you know we sold 90 boxes do you listen to what I said 90 yes 99 times 10 45 times 2 45 more 45 82 more 8 coming little one we filled 220 we sold 230 I have to go Jane Theresa ps get your butts down here we have to sell some cookies oh come on mom, we already sold three times 30 don't argue we take your advice hunt with a gun we kidnap someone to settle the land dispute hell you bring him here because you never told us what to do after the kidnapping, can you believe this?
Guys, well we gotta be good hosts, who wants corn, this is bad, Cheech, we arrest him with something like this, we get kicked out of witness protection and then we go back to New York where the mob is waiting to kill us, just Can't win with you, okay? what you have to do now is get in touch with a big man in the province and use him as a bargaining chip this is the big man who is the premier of saskatchewan who is the premier is like a governor means first first why why what are you asking so many questions you have a guy in a bag here yeah I probably should have told you not to grab the boss now raise your bastards the right honorable Mickey O'Shea never forgets a face you all are falling for this me too You should have mentioned that we should not let the hostage see our faces.
Now we have to kill them. Go ahead and try it. Man, I'll rip off your nipples and throw it in the gutter. It's okay, cousin, relax, we don't want to kill you, we just want to. You give these guys their land back, they get nothing. Mickey O'Shea never loses. I got on the board and won twice. Well, tie the guy. You should have figured it out on your own and my dad is a useless drunk and he says if I don't sell these boxes before sunset I shouldn't bother coming home hey weak thanks ma'am thanks hey where did they come from and that's why the cookie first appeared in Persia in the 7th century, one of the first countries to cultivate sugar and although the word biscuit or cake originated in the Netherlands, it was adopted by okay, I'll take ten boxes if you shut up, it doesn't matter look, I just don't want anything okay I'll be honest with you, I'm just doing this to stick with this girl and about Westminster who is a prudish know-it-all I'll take a dozen thanks you know we should hang out have some tea some cookies and go to her house and cut your cable arm brake and hit you with the wet end, you know, Jimmy, I want to see that, let me tell you something cuz.
I'm not a guy you want to make threats too. I'm the guy who hates to admit it, but I'm starting to. like this guy, hey Jimmy, I got a glowing report from Paul's black tribe. He was hoping you'd mess it up. I'm glad to tell you that you will prove me wrong. Thanks McCool, you know the Indians have a saying: keep the police off your porch. go get a beer oh I can't drink right now I'm on duty but I'm not leaving until I hear every detail what was that nothing the oven is malfunctioning I've been through enough winters to know how to operate an oven How about I take a look at it ?
I said boiler. I mean the water heater. Oh, I worked at Monte College installing water heaters. Okay, I'll clarify. I didn't want to mention this, but hey, it's a cookie. Her girl time is upon us, so I had to lock her in the basement like a werewolf during the
fullmoon. Say no more PMS, it knows no boundaries, it is a serious debilitating condition that negatively affects men everywhere. I wish you strength, but Canada, where two men can talk about the lady's internal plumbing. Thank you all for your hard work, we had a very successful cookie drive this year.
True, it's not a competition nor should it ever be, but one of you sold considerably more than the others. It's kind of like the
bestmom award, don't you think, Twinkie? Oh yeah. in your face loser you suck you suck you suck you suck you suck you suck you suck hey I don't think you're talking to the boss beeyatch say my name come on say it say my name who's your daddy mrs. MacDougal, that's enough. What's the matter? There are children here. I'm afraid you'll have to leave mrs. mcdougal, we don't tolerate that kind of behavior from country girls.
You can wait for your daughter outside because she, of course, is welcome. Gina has demonstrated exemplary behavior and she will be an excellent addition to the country girls organization. Well, she looks who's back for another chance. the title this guy is a tough guy maybe you should cut your losses no we do this the scottish way ah christ let me think are you okay? common what no hello I understand if we are going to resolve this conflict we have to find common ground What could I have in common withGuys, ruin the city. Shut up, Doug, but Jimmy, we still lost the game.
So what is called moral victory? But we lost, it's not about winning or losing, it's about how you play. Oh God, no wonder you become Canadian then. Don't forget that tonight's game will be followed by the second and final
episodeof two. Men and half a dog. I love the program. No.
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