Franco Escamilla.- monólogo Japón

Yes, I have this common illness that I called verbal diarrhea. Those who know me know that I don't lie. I have this knack that I speak faster than I think. Many of you think and then speak. I don't speak it and as I go, the brain goes, what did it say? I have been in trouble countless times because I said something I shouldn't have said and half an hour later I say something like this and they tell me that with therapy it will go away but I don't want to take it away because being able to talk has brought me very nice things also for For example, I don't know if you found out, but two and a half years ago we did some shows in the city of Tokyo, Japan, and they told us how that came about.

Well, for one thing, we were just in a meeting with the people from Netflix. My representative has forbidden me to speak. at the meetings the reale regrouped speaks at the meetings and we have spread the rumor among businessmen that

franco

is very mysterious and does not speak chinese to pay it until new like my dad is after 35 this was not normal then after 40 well You love the men, do it later, I do it all at home after a sneeze, a wall, you know it, the request you make for your children next to them, don't believe me, tomorrow, raise that one is a meeting with the people from Netflix to Latin America, we are At the brain meeting, I parked your job, which is to negotiate with these people.

In the meetings, they usually give me a phone so I can play. They don't give me my phone. They don't let me understand my phone in the meetings because they know that it's worth it, mother and me. I'm bored and I started watching Twitter and Instagram and then I forget that I'm in a meeting and I'm wasting the low Miami WTA that they put up, they won't let me participate in those meetings and the guys at Netflix for education wanted to include me in the talk and they tell me frankly what is needed for you to want to record with us and without thinking I told them that we should record part of it in Japan because I wanted to go to Japan one day but I didn't want to pay for the flights and hotels.

Japan without thinking like when your girl tells you what we're doing today there's nothing to do you tell her let's go and if she gets angry she says don't believe it but if she doesn't get angry and that's how it's going to be that she doesn't mean Japan she even represses me I turn around and speak The Bryans said, they tell me why don't you go out and smoke for a little while, don't jump out and smoke, where do you want to be here, have your mother save, about half an hour, Bryant comes out very happy, the carnal tells me, you're not going to believe me, I already got you your tour of Japan. slight pure worse I don't want to go to Japan too far and we closed we took 35 photos because this bastard moved to get everything and then I had to accept with him if he did it was a funny lie I had never been to Japan I had the illusion of going since I am a very young child, I am always a fan of Japanese culture, its discipline, its talent, and my friends jokingly call me Japanese because I like anime and video games.

I have a little interest in all kinds of details because for me it was like blowing away my mother. Homeland, you understand me, but I didn't know that it's a 15-hour flight. It's horrible. You arrive in Japan in a state of shock. I had never flown for so many hours, and after six hours I started having a panic attack in the seat of the plane, and I couldn't even breathe. mother and I spoke to the flight attendant who has the following: I can't breathe, for God's sake, she tells me, I'll bring you a glass of water and those things that separate hydrogen from oxygen, what solutions is this dead water, I can't breathe in water, I said, miss, it makes me wonder.

It's confusing me with a lower weight. I prefer to breathe oxygen. Call me since I was a child. I've always liked it. Yesterday I said to myself, I took a little bit of side wick on my face and I felt very bad and I was already in the aisle of the plane. Mmm, let's go, gentlemen. It feels good and this Madrid is not going to fall. I was convinced that the plane was going to fall and they also don't let you joke about it because you can upset the other passengers, sir, like Chinese, it's not going to fall.

You're trying to hide the truth. Because that man says that he already has a shitload of flying and I said, don't get me wrong, I'm flying a shitload then I'll be back a shitload another week and I know that the DF is an hour and a half and it's a tank of gas, we've been there for 6 hours. Flying, this son of a man hasn't loaded gas the whole flight, he's going to fall, this mother is going to charge the flight attendant for reassuring me by saying, these planes have like 20 tanks, we're going to explode in the air, damn it, it's a flying bomb, what are you not saying?

They already fed me and I calmed down after another day of sun and hunger and I fell asleep and when I woke up we were about to land and we arrived at the Narita airport. I was fascinated because everyone tells you about how rigorous the airports are. Japanese but I tell you something, they are in the aspect of punctuality it is impressive that outside the plane when there is a bus stop outside the airport and there it tells you how many minutes until the bus that you are waiting for arrives or that it is an electronic heat and it said route 30 there are 7 minutes left and anas a sanz to the phone well the timer 6 minutes 50 seconds the truck we were waiting for arrived she is impressed they look and we got on I asked bryant to stay to see if the one next too I arrived on time and because of me we lost half an hour because I was fascinated that the trucks arrived at the time the fucking board said I told Brian, you're not understanding, this is incredible in Mexico, Monterrey, ask questions today and it's already past 10 people 11 I don't think unless the driver comes but without a website I'm fascinated and in Japan everything is very very ceremonious and it's frowned upon for you to bring your mobile phone with the volume turned up okay it's very frowned upon they scolded me in a restaurant because I put a video I wanted to show it to Bryant but you were like those who play with your conditioned reflex if you are with me no I'm not an animal but since I'm here making a friend and today I suddenly said stupid because sexist I mean but from the start yes Me July yes like no and we're on the street it's small since the people it's not a racist comment it's a reality the average height in Japanese is 170 175 yours truly is 184 185 I felt like a dad in kindergarten wayne qashqai dad sir policeman but also They make everything for people of their height, the taxis are miniatures of tones, no, I didn't get into the taxi, they gave it to me, bastard, yes, and the smoking booths don't let you smoke in the street out of fear, not because of the smoke, look here in Mexico.

We say don't smoke in places like that because of the smoke there, they prohibit you from smoking on the street because the ember of your cigarette can burn someone. They tell you what the average temperature of a cigarette is and that is dangerous. You can burn clothes. You can burn the person's skin. I told him something and our guide remained but there was one manabí guayas who said no to an accident no one wants to burn anyone I told him cool or the cigarette I can bring it here and here I'm going to burn rounds everyone arrives here website it's clear that yes Someone burned it, I'm looking for it, it's because he jumped from his shot to the blow.

You don't have to go into a smoking cabin, they are transparent cabins that have a tiny extractor fan and a worse climate, but it doesn't cool at all and there you have to smoke, you can't open the air. free and it's horrible because they put you in and there are 34 smokers and you look outside and those outside look inside you feel like an animal on display. I don't know if there is a sign outside that says those of us who are going to die are doing all the fucking vicious things. the children pass by, children, don't smoke, children, they don't even let you smoke, the artificial one is electronic, the people who use the electronic cigarette have to go into those booths and it's doubly funny because that mother is not a cigar, that person is not a smoker and they send him with We and I left where we were, we went to eat, everything is crazy in Japan, I wanted to see if the technology was true, we saw it when we arrived at the hotel, there are those who are more or less aware of what they have worked on in the medium, they know that each artist has their own shrinks you get to a point where the hotel people ask you what you are going to create in your room and I have colleagues who tell people in hotels my room has to be facing west because at 6 I am going to meditate and their mother and I found out From each mother I want black curtains and I want the next room to be empty and I don't want there to be anyone named Rodolfo from the apartment.

Until they ask for them, what I ask of the hotels is that one is not instigating, that is, not in the meditation because you're asleep or I'm fucking, neither of us want to be bothered and the other is that I ask the cleaning lady in the hotels if they give me ten little bottles of shampoo and conditioner and it's body cream and ten little soaps from the little ones because I like to play with those mothers I make a selected house with the sugar I'm not going to carry Legos in the suitcase with those mothers I play and make a mini city and then I play that I'm a giant who destroys it and the hell and My mother gave me the game, which is a titan and I just loved it.

They had hours of fun. Well, in Japan, it was possible to do more because everything was small in the room, the little table on the chair, the television, they quoted everything, so like Godzilla, you already know. You're bored, my room is messing up and you just got to the bathroom and there I was impressed by the Japanese, which is bathroom engineering, they have smart bathrooms, smart bathrooms, that is, I know stupider people, a bathroom in Japan, see why they are electronic bathrooms, they are connected to the light, you say, because a bathroom needs light, there you go, they have Wi-Fi and Bluetooth and you can connect it with your mobile phone or tablet.

There is an application that the hotel tells you which room is in. You can turn on the lights in the room with the phone. You can go down to the bathroom with the phone, you know how annoying it is to go down to the bathroom from the phone, that is, there is no need to agree if you are in the bathroom because there you can go down quickly but I didn't go down to him, I went to bed and he told me side, on one occasion I walked to the elevator just to see if I was still receiving signals there, it came back in a flash and said no and below, fascinated with the smart bathroom, they are electronic, they have motion sensors, you approach and the lid lifts, you see how much the people complain women that the man leaves the lid up or down the hell that mother gets up you just walk away she lowers the lid it's close if she lifts the cap and you have me like a lot of mouse fascinated by how she got up from the mahal dyes you sit on the cup the cup is warm and not even heating I'm not going to lie to you at first it makes you sick it feels like someone has just gotten up from that cup so it's like I sat down but it's not a heating system so that your bare skin doesn't suffer with the cold contact of the toilet bowl it is Japanese technology here in Mexico we are putting socks on the fucking cup we are directly in a san marcos in which you made a hole these gentlemen have heating the lid rises by itself here we are with all the disgust of the world with the toe of the shoe raising cachi letter for men you know what I'm talking about to be able to hold rallies that throw the paw leave the knee so that the fuck doesn't come back cover ah it already does it automatically it has a button that releases music by the room has a button that says privacy privacy itches that button mentioned on the remote that has one side of the toilet bowl and white noise plays to cover the natural noises of the bathroom here in mexico we are coughing and dropping several times this lady destiny in a privacy button so that no one hears you, that is technology and they have a button that has a drawing of three drops of water, be very careful with the 5th button, there are things that you can't see my brothers play with as soon as that button is pressed, it comes out a stream of water from bottom to top but in the end it brings samples and it's exact I don't know if I'm explaining myself but it's perfect it's seen in basketball that sometimes they shoot and you enter without touching the rim the shot is exact you don't know the jump What's next to play I kicked him in bed for half an hour in the shower you're a frank haha ​​harassed by a cup of bath now that I've recovered I can't stop thinking who the genius was who calculated that shot because it was perfect my brothers it was a parabolic shot perfect for those on the channel, it's like the angry birds, the one on the route of the little birds and it was exact and I just told you a while ago that I am taller than the average Japanese if my trunk and limbs are different from theirs I want to think that the fundillo also how did he know the rate at which to shoot calculation or my weight and height they have a Japanese Chinese with a camera measuring the shot that would be a job of do you agree or maybe my brothers just maybe we all have it where same not what Get excited, I'm going to explain to you that there is no medical or legal document that establishes at what height the human being is located.

The duplex is like saying the one without corners. I don't know how to get here without shores. Well, there is no document, okay because maybe between There are people who studied medicine, maybe there is someone who read some anthropology and will know that the bones, depending on your race, depending on your sex and your age, have distances already established as normal, there is no distance established as normal and at what height. We have the hole. I started an investigation on my own. The good judge starts with his house and I can tell you without pride but also without shame that I am, let's say, located without his mother, four fingers away from where the line begins.

I won't say more but I would like you to Obviously, if they visit us at their house as a couple, it could be something fun to do and send me a tweet with the number of fingers. francs 4 2 and a half ended up hitting the post and then francs entering five mutant fingers there are pages ofinternet that offer online survey services or that you can hire any day everything you establish what questions you want them to ask and they are in charge of directing it via facebook twitter instagram or different click pages 20 we pay and I say I paid for an online survey plus the people of the shows plus the people who tell me on twitter plus the people who tell me in person I have surveyed more than 250,000 people believe it or not the average is four fingers I don't see them getting excited I'm going to explain it my brothers have always wanted to separate As human beings, they have always wanted to segregate, categorize, give us a stratum, they have always wanted to give us a level, a space, a place where you can never be here, and they have determined that place or that space for us by our skin color, by our accent when speaking, how much money you earn how many followers you have what car you drive what religion you profess what political party you support they always want to categorize us separate the man from the man and maybe my brothers just maybe the fund unites us all and that is a world in which I want to live in the fact that men and women are all equal, all four fingers, we are all the same and I left the bathroom well motivated with that idea of ​​my brothers, I went down to eat at the hotel, the restaurant at the hotel, my representative was waiting for me, we were both eating and like that neither of us knew how to bring up the subject, take into account that the man returned to me as a very serious person, from private school all his life and his parents wanted to have him, he is a very correct person and we are eating and stable.

What did you think of your room? me well There are nice ways to say it and everything goes away and has speeds how much time do you have left this bastard how much time