Film Theory: You'll DIE Before This Bee Movie Meme!

boys. And last but not least, we have the Ice Age

movie

s. Everything we've calculated so far is repeated for each syllable of the five... Wait, five? There have been five Ice Age

movie

s? 0_0 Man! I missed a couple of those. Okay, so every syllable of every Ice Age movie forces us to do everything we've calculated so far. When I started working on

this

episode, I thought for sure

this

would be the hardest to calculate, but surprisingly I was able to get a pretty accurate estimate by taking the transcripts, just the spoken dialogue, for each of the five

film

s, cutting them into manageable chunks and then run it through an automated syllable counter.

Of course, the syllable counter couldn't recognize some words, like Scrat, but it gave us a reasonable count of 34,085 syllables across the five

film

s. Ooohhh, and with that, it's time to recap. We have SpongeBob's 270,600 seconds of footage repeated 7,136 times for every second of visible bees in Bee Movie, shown once for each of the 1,306,105 words spoken with the Simpsons canon vowel... *gasps to breathe* "Oh dear!" ...which then repeats every 10 seconds of the 630,720,000 hours of video that have been uploaded to YouTube, which plays 14,011 times due to the green seconds in Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, which play once per each of the 34,085 syllables of Ice Age pentology.

Make sure you've converted everything to seconds, multiply it all the way, then convert it to years, and we get the drum roll worth a number of *Weak drum beats* I said, the drum roll worth a number of *Weaker drum beats drum* God, seriously. Where's the drum roll? *Confused voice* What? Are you kidding me? Can we at least get a dramatic honk or something? That? Are you, are you... okay, okay? If that's the best we can do, that's fine. The dramatic, slide-whistle-worthy number from... *Slide whistle noises* Ahem. 8 octillion, 672 septillion, 127 sextillion, 482 quintillion years! Or approximately 8 and a half octillion years if rounded down.

Now, if you're like me, you hear a number like that and think "what the hell does that mean?" And yes, when you talk about such big numbers, it becomes very difficult to understand them. So let's look at this giant number from a couple different angles. First, it's worth noting that Earth, as a planet, has been around for just over 4.5 billion years. And the entire universe? Approximately 13.7 billion years old. Now, both billion and octillion may seem like incredibly big numbers, but trust me. Octillions are MUCH bigger. If you started playing this video at the time the Big Bang happened, up to today, you would be less than 1% of the way through YouTube videos, which would mean you are at the first second of Toy Story and the first video spoken.

Ice Age syllable. Remember that there are thirty-four thousand Ice Age syllables to overcome. And it took us from the Big Bang to now, and we're still only at the first one. Scientists estimate that the Sun will explode in the next 4 to 5 billion years, taking the Earth with it. So by the time planet Earth ceases to exist, this video would still continue. This is also the time when the universe is supposed to die from heat death, so time and space will come to an end, but bad movie

meme

s will outlive us all. So how do you illustrate a period of time that is actually longer than the lifespan of the universe?

What's the best way to convey to you how long this video is? Let me put it this way: Let's say we set up a race where one person goes out to watch this video from start to finish. And another person puts all the water on Earth in a giant eyedropper and then tries to refill all those bodies of water one drop, or one milliliter at a time. The person with the giant dropper would still win if he only put in one drop, one milliliter of water, every five thousand years. Have you ever tried to fill an ocean with a dropper, one drop every five thousand years?

It's going to take a while. And don't even get me started on how long it would take for that damn video to buffer. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) But well... That's just a

theory

. A cinematographic

theory

. And... cut.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)