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Film Theory: How to Make A REAL Sharknado!

Feb 27, 2020
Aaaaggghhh!! Ah, the art of cinema. ♫ ♫ ♫ Music ♫ Hello Internet! Welcome to Film Theory where I got tired of writing jokes so I decided to

make

a video about Sharknado where the jokes write themselves. (video): Don't

make

fun of my stool again. Oh

real

ly? "Sharknado 2: The Second"? "Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!"? Wow just wow. But seriously, with the "Insert Issue" of April Fool's Day happening weeks ago, I thought it was the perfect time to cover this ridiculous franchise and let me assure you, it IS ridiculous. Not since "The Room" have I seen a movie so bad that it took the world by storm.
film theory how to make a real sharknado
Get it? "Storm"? I don't know what's worse this week, my jokes or the movie. For those of you who are too serious to first appreciate a terrible sci-fi movie, why are you watching this channel? and in particular this video? Secondly, get that stick out of your ass, bro, and thirdly, let me summarize the plot for you. There are sharks. And a tornado. The end. "Shark Swim." This is not rocket science. Seriously though, the first Sharknado is about a hurricane that sweeps across the Pacific coast and sweeps away all the sharks in front of it. The hurricane hits Los Angeles, a city that was not prepared for so much rain and the streets flood, allowing sharks to swim through the city.
film theory how to make a real sharknado

More Interesting Facts About,

film theory how to make a real sharknado...

The hurricane's winds cause tornadoes which then, obviously, suck in thousands of sharks and proceed to launch them like deadly toothed missiles all over Hollywood. Chaos and bad performances ensue. (

film

clip): They took my grandfather. That's why I

real

ly HATE sharks. However, as stupid as it seemed at the time, this movie got everyone talking about it, including big companies. The Insurance Information Institute says a shark disaster would be covered in most homeowners insurance plans. I'm not making this up! The first

film

was so popular that three have been made and a fourth is on the way this summer, which got me thinking, "Is ANY of this possible?" If the director of the first film is to be believed, the answer is a resounding No.
film theory how to make a real sharknado
When asked about the film's realism, director Anthony C. Ferrante said, quotes and quotes. You know, that reminds me of something Werner Herzog once said. Well, screw you, Werner! I'm passionate about seeing if sharks can be blown by tornado-force winds through South Central Los Angeles, okay? Go talk some more about crazy penguins. Question of the day: Is Sharknado really bad science? I think you and Anthony C. Ferrante will be a little surprised. First things first, animals falling from the sky are a real thing that happens in the world. It is not a joke! It is a rare meteorological phenomenon known as "animal rain." And it's exactly what it sounds like: animals falling like rain from the sky.
film theory how to make a real sharknado
Rainfalls of frogs have been reported in places such as Australia, Japan and Hungary, while worms have been reported in Louisiana. It's even been known to rain spiders in Brazil, which is perhaps the scariest line I've ever written for this show. "Rain of spiders." oohhh! Yuck! And I thought Brazil's political corruption was the scariest thing happening there right now. But as rare as these things are, raining fish is a much more common occurrence. With multiple reports in India, Australia, the Philippines, Sri Lanka and Ethiopia, fish showers have been recorded in January this year. Since 2000 there have been ten places around the world where fish rain has occurred and in Honduras it has apparently happened every year for over a century.
Yeah! It brings new meaning to the phrase "flying fish." Sometimes the animals are frozen or encased in ice, but other times they are alive. Surprised, no doubt, but still kicking or dropping, in the case of the fish, or spreading terror in the streets of Brazil. Oh, it's rain of spiders! Now I can expect what you're thinking: "How...how is this?" Seriously, this sounds ridiculous on Sharknado levels of ridiculous, but here's the kicker: scientists aren't really sure why it happens. Way to drop the ball there, science! Are fish raining from the sky and you're not the least bit motivated to solve that mystery?
What are you doing?! Wow, forget about scientists, someone's calling the Boxcar Children. They will solve the mystery of the "Trout Rain" case or something like that. That said, scientists have a couple of theories: Meteorological theories! The most popular one is that, as you may have guessed, tornadoes pick up animals and transport them. Tornadic waterspouts are called tornadoes that form over land and then move toward the surface of the water. These weather phenomena are powerful enough to capture any number of aquatic animals and move them great distances over land. Interestingly, the Sharknado writer was aware of this phenomenon.
In an interview with Gawker, Sharknado writer Thunder Levin, yes, Thunder is his real name. Which, come to think of it, if you're the writer of Sharknado, seems appropriate. It would almost be funnier if the writer of the name Sharknado was like Greg Smith. Anyway, Thunder said the following, quote, end of quote. Come to think of it, all of this really gives new meaning to the phrase "it's pouring rain." That being said, now that everyone is curious, there have been no reported cases of actual cats or dogs raining from the sky. It's okay, CatPat, you're safe. For now...
Well, there have been reports of animals being trapped by extreme weather conditions in the past, but I guess the next question is whether it's possible for something like this to come to Los Angeles. It's not like hurricanes and tornadoes hit the West Coast of the United States that often, right? Well... while we hear about hurricanes hitting the East Coast or the Gulf of Mexico, they are not entirely unknown in Southern California. That said, they are very rare. Weather conditions and water temperatures in the Pacific make tropical storms and hurricanes hitting the California coast an unlikely event, but it is also not impossible.
If we go back to 1858, we will find a full-blown, unweakened hurricane hitting Los Angeles. So who knows, it could happen again. After all, El Niño exists. Meanwhile, tornadoes are not as uncommon in California as one might expect. Although tornadoes primarily occur west of the Rocky Mountains, there have been eight that touched down in Los Angeles County between the years 2000 and 2012. In the last sixty years, there have been a staggering 42. So, at a minimum We know that the weather conditions presented in Sharknado may exist, but picking up small fish or, ugggh, spiders is one thing, picking up a shark is a whole new ball game.
As expected, they tend to weigh MUCH more than fish. Blue sharks are small, weighing between 60 and 450 pounds. Mako sharks have an average mass of 610 pounds. Tiger sharks have an average weight of about 980 and great white sharks, the ones that star in Sharknado, are some of the largest, weighing between 1,500 and 2,400 pounds. That's a lot of shark to pick up and throw at chainsaw-wielding Ian Ziering. Man, Ian, did you ever think Beverly Hills 90210 would lead to something so cheesy? (show clip): This new piece is a little more in tune with who I am. (clip): ♫ Don't buy condoms. Buy Condex. ♫ (clip): ♫ There's a big difference ♫ Uhh, okay.
Less CGI, equal amounts of cheese. Classic '90s teen dramas aside, does a tornado have the ability to pick up objects that size? Well, first we need to quickly review how tornado power is classified. To do this, meteorologists use the so-called Fujita scale. I'll let the movie "Twister" explain it. (movie clip): It's the Fujita scale. Measure the intensity of a tornado by how much it eats. (clip): Eat?! Now, that may seem like stupid movie talk, and the first time I heard this quote I thought, "This is absolute movie garbage!" But it's actually correct. In fact, the scale is based on how much the tornado "eats", in quotes.
Or, rather, how much damage the tornado causes. First developed by Theodore Fujita of the University of Chicago in 1971, the Fujita scale has categories for tornadoes of all shapes and sizes. Everything from F0, little ones that reach speeds of just 73 miles per hour, to F5. "Twister", what do you have to say about F5 tornadoes? (clip): Is there an F5? (clip): These monsters reach up to 318 miles per hour. They're the ones who can rip houses off their foundations and smash them in the air or, you know, make cows fly. (clip): Now let's take another look at the Tornado Project data from the Los Angeles area.
Most tornadoes that occur in this part of the United States do not have a rank or have ranks 0 and 1. With numbers this low, you might think they are not capable of causing much damage, but F1 tornadoes can break out. cars around. That is a powerful wind! But not powerful enough. They really don't have the strength to lift one off the ground. However, if we keep looking, five of the Los Angeles tornadoes ranked #2 on the Fujita scale. These tornadoes are capable of reaching winds of 157 miles per hour, enough to lift cars off the ground and throw them.
In 2010, the average new car weighed about 4,000 pounds. A tornado capable of throwing something like that could easily launch great white sharks towards Tara Reid. Which means we have several tornadoes that have hit Los Angeles County and they have also been strong enough to lift even the heaviest sharks, so in

theory

a Sharknado is plausible. But let's get into details. There is one last factor that we have not analyzed. Could the sharks be alive? Don't get me wrong: a tornado itself would scare me. A tornado throwing dead animals at me would be more than enough to make me pee my pants.
But a tornado that throws LIVE sharks at me? Oh man! Screw California, I'm moving to Brazil! Oh wait, no, rain of spiders. Canada, here I come!! Much of the fun of the movie is that the sharks are alive when they come to bite our heroes in that unique "we had no effects" budget. a kind of movie. Presumably all these sharks would suffocate, right? Like other fish, sharks breathe through their gills. They swim with their mouths open, allowing water to pass over their gills and their blood vessels to extract oxygen from the water. So in a tornado, they'd be out of luck, right?
MISTAKEN. It is logical to assume that a tornado that spins over water and picks up sharks will also be strong enough to pick up water. In fact, Bill Patzert, a climatologist interviewed about the film, stated that it stands to reason that a shark COULD survive in such a scenario. There would be enough water in the tornado to keep it alive. There you have it! According to research, it is possible that Los Angeles could experience a tornado strong enough to knock sharks and the water around them out of the ocean. And anyone who's been in Los Angeles during a storm knows that those streets will flood in about five minutes.
Oh really. All that being said, if we're being completely honest, the premise behind Sharknado is simply absurd. Many improbable things would have to happen for this to become a reality. I guess you could say it'll happen when pigs fly, to which I say, "No." "When sharks do it!" But hey, that's just a

theory

. A cinematographic theory! Aaaannd...cut! ♫ under the rain of spiders. ♫ ♫ Rain of Spiders, Rain of Spiders ♫ Get these MOTHER Shaaark! IN SPIDERS from my MOTHER shark! IN TORNADO! That was a terrible impersonation of Samuel Jackson. I swore he would never do imitations again.

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