Film Theory: Can You Speak Groot? (Marvel Guardians of the Galaxy)

express many complex thoughts. "But that's a manufactured language, not a language with native

speak

ers!" says you, the stickler who should really stop watching my videos and start watching my videos. Taking advantage of your vast experience in trivia, Jeopardy! It's calling you, friend. Alright, if you just want to count languages ​​that are native to a specific real-world culture somewhere on planet Earth right now, there's one real-world language that gives us a new minimum of words in a vocabulary, and that number is zero. . In the Canary Islands, the native language Silbo Gomero is made up entirely of whistles. *whistles* There are no spoken words whatsoever.

It seems like you probably can't say much about it, but you'd be wrong. *whistle* So there you have it, Groot's three-word vocabulary is three more words than a language really needs. So by power it means we could learn to

speak

Groot, right? Fans could gather at Comic-Con like the Trekkies do at conventions, except instead of speaking Klingon, they would speak Groot! No, You can not! As much as I'd love to see it, based on the Maximus the Mad in the War of Kings series, it's probably impossible. Groot just sounds like he's repeating his name over and over again, due to his hardened larynx. and the key to understanding it is to listen to the sigh of the breeze below, the nuance of meaning.

On the one hand, hearing some kind of magical breeze is not really an area of ​​prosody, but more relevant is the hardened part of the larynx. Humans do not have a hardened larynx and it is not worth trying to find a way to get one, because in people, a hardened larynx is actually a serious medical condition. In this condition, called presbylarynx, people have incredible difficulty speaking loudly enough to be heard easily and usually have to find other forms of non-verbal communication, such as sign language, to help. So at the end of the day, the condition that would allow us to speak Groot would actually prevent us, as humans, from uttering any words loud enough to be heard.

I guess we'll just have to stay rooted and accept the fact that when it comes to speaking Groot, we won't be able to branch out. But hey! I'm Groot! I'm Groot! I am Groot! Theoretical Christmas clothing is still available! So if you like soft, cozy, oversized things with hoods and in black, oh well, we've created something for you! We called it "Holiday in the Neighborhood" because, well, it's cold outside, so we wanted to keep everyone warm with a hood. Hats, coats, sweater dresses, pajama pants! Even this Film Theory hoodie has a hood! Ladies and gentlemen, unfasten your seat belts, because we have reached the peak of maximum comfort!

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