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Essential Items for the Apocalypse

Jun 01, 2021
Like I'm going to give you some things to help you get to the

apocalypse

, let's talk about that mythical good morning, as we established in yesterday's episode, the world is going to end and you need to be prepared for it now if you've been a good watcher. mythical days during any period of time, maybe you know we talk about this from time to time and how we have aspirations to be prepared for the end of the world, uh, well, yeah, you talk about it and you think. Honestly, I just nod my head and say, yeah, I should think about that a little bit, but I don't, but I have to admit that while I've talked about it a lot, I've never taken it seriously. any steps to be prepared for the end of the world and/or if you just know things are getting bad, yes, and we're not just talking about the end of the world, we're talking about if things get really bad, really fast and the people start ogling each other and things like that uh uh you know anything can happen you need to be prepared for these types of situations now I'm your friend, if not your best friend, right, yeah, right, you're my best friend, you're my best friend. too linked, I need you to make me say it, so when I took a little trip on the Internet to buy some things to help me survive the end of the world, I thought of your friend, best friend, and I went ahead and bought you some things.
essential items for the apocalypse
So I'm going to start really yes, yes, you like early Christmas, but you and your family are now prepared for the end of the world if you do the things you need to do with the things I'm going to give you. now and you're literally going to give it to me I see things in there oh yeah man I have a whole box now I'm going to give this to you and I'm going to start with the things that I bought for both of us so this is the things that I give you that means I have one at home waiting for me, okay, okay, the first thing you need to do is store water, okay, these are stackable water containers, fill them up to five gallons each, now this water pack will take care of that. your family we are sponsored by any of these things we don't appear here you don't even need to say aqua in fact you say just can of water generic water it can't rain container aqua pas so anyway this is something pretty simple and boring Pretty good water storage, There is no water, you have to supply the water, friend, now water is important, you know what else is important?
essential items for the apocalypse

More Interesting Facts About,

essential items for the apocalypse...

Long meal, I bought you a whole damn bucket of food, now it says on the front that you ordered this on the internet, right? yeah, it says beef stroganoff, it actually has 29 meals, it has beef stroganoff, it has lasagna, it has chicken teriyaki with rice, it has noodles and chicken, it has beef stew and it has granola with blueberries, just add water, uh, I have the water here twenty nine. meals, this will take you and your family probably a week or so. I was going to ask what am I, what is my family, because this is what I eat, do you share this with your wife and children, yes, if they are taking care of me, yes, of course.
essential items for the apocalypse
Yeah, wow, assuming your gas gets shut off, and I'm not talking about your personal flatulence, I'm talking about the natural gas coming through the pipes, uh, personal flashes. I bought you a folding stove, I also bought this, so if you waited. a little this could have been a Christmas present are you thinking it is yes camp camp heat this is this will help you boil the water that goes to the meals there a little sterno and look at me if you have to go and now I have to listen Water is the most important thing, it is what will be most difficult to get.
essential items for the apocalypse
I already have a company that doesn't understand. You have ten gallons of water but ten gallons of water. It will be gone before you know it and I don't want you coming to my house to get water. You have to take care of your own weight. I won't necessarily build a fort together. I will keep you. I can hear you can keep your voice low, okay, this is where these are, that's what it's about, this is to keep me away from you, I don't want your father showing up with all your kids and your crazy wife, listen, you took care of me, I want you to be I also want you to be taken care of, so the first thing I bought you is a lifesaving straw.
In fact, I got you live straws. This one is in the package that you can go up to, basically, you could go to the Los Angeles River and just suck. take the water out of that and you'll be totally fine, your filters are there, there's water in the river, you know, right here, the water in the next one at my house, there's two concrete ponds, you can go to Bao boy like any body of water, you can just sip it as much as you want and then if you want to collect the water you run out of and want to treat it, I bought you some water purification tablets, how long did this last?
I think it can pump like a thousand gallons of water don't you like this true it filters up to 1000 liters of water really yes it feels like there is nothing in it yes just a filter man this is considered one of the best inventions of the modern times. I'm not making that up. Search LifeStraw. We used to have a room. We had one in my car for a long time and then we lost it. Yes, anyway, yes. You have a. OK. This is what you have. That's all I have for you. you have water you have food you have a way to go you have a way to cook it now I bought my I didn't want to waste too much because you have to pay me for these things what, uh, I have myself I have a In tow, I bought some other things, you don't, this is The first thing I bought, this is called a Bushmaster, no, Robo Knight, it's a Rambo knife, now I have a compass, you take out this compass and I have mom, there are matches inside.
There are no, there are waterproof matches here. It's nice to have one of those when I was a kid, yeah, well you should have kept it. I have waterproof matches and a fishing line and then, in this part here, I'm careful. I have a flashlight I have a snake bite kit I have an animal trap to catch small animals to eat I have a whetstone for this thing and you are definitely going into an infomercial move I also have wait there are more military can openers now this is it mine you can play with it now but in the

apocalypse

I'm holding it I'm not playing with it I also have this an ax I see it's an ax so I can fist zombies double fist zombies look and I can cut down a tree I also bought it for myself this It's elegant, how much was this guy?
Does it matter? We don't buy me expecting to pay to survive it doesn't matter. Do you look at the prices? Magnesium fire. starter, so I can start a fire at any time. I want you just hitting these things to make sparks. I don't need matches, man, you just like to buy things. That's all. This all boils down to I have a flashlight. that you turn on a crank and make it light so that when you're there in the dark with your little family you have food and water, but you'll be in the dark with your little camp stove, well, why not? bring me one of these, this is nice, I didn't think you deserved it, okay, I mean, how much could this have been?
May I add, I can carry my water with me because I have, seriously, a canteen and the last thing I heard about water, probably the most important thing, you know, there will be garbage water bottles lying around, guys, fill up. I have a SAS survival manual. Now your cell phone won't work, but you can make smoke signals and Ask me questions, if you can find a way to start a fire, you can make some oak signals from your outside heat, ask me questions I can't from your house and then you I'll sing smoke signals, like you have a question. about, ask me a question about something, actually, let me just tell you, you're so excited about this, I don't want to burst your bubble, I appreciate it, you want me to tell you how to treat a facial injury, wait? that a mouth-to-mouth threat also known as the kiss of life that is mouth-to-mouth mouth-to-mouth there are two men kissing one of them has a mustache is that a mouthguard that is a man saving another man I would make for you I would do that in the apocalypse I wouldn't do that in normal everyday life and then plexiglass between us you wouldn't buy a knife but you would do it anyway listen man, I have, you know, I have a lot of things for myself that I didn't buy for you because I'm You're cheap and I know you have to pay me for these things.
I bought you the other thing Jess is me paying for it. I have you because listen, the gift I gave you, I'm the one who takes it. the time to go through these things you would never have done this what's going to happen is something that's going to happen they're going to like the terrorists are going to blow up an EMP somewhere in the Midwest and everything is going to shut down and then you'll be there and you can say: what are we? Oh yeah, I have this beef stroganoff, everything will be fine and then if you want to force yourself to put that down while you talk to me, if you want to go to my house, I'll shave you a little with this and we can go kill some rabbits or something with an animal trap.
Well, thanks Rhett, what are my total rights? I mean, it's probably like a hundred and fifty dollars. Yes, a small price to pay for life. Do you know what time it is. I am sure that from the other side of the river it is time to spin the wheel of mythology. Make sure you like us on Facebook. You know why, because there is exclusive content there. We're making special videos that can only be found on Facebook, where I just post other things there. We post exclusive video content on Facebook and photos. We make a video with that knife.
Yes, Rhett and Link are joining the fashion police. Oh, how's your dough? How are you? How is your donor? Well I do not know. I don't have it down. Oh well, we're at the donut shop. Yes, where are we from? I'm from I don't know, man. Alright. Now it's changing a little bit, okay, find that guy over there when the turtleneck yeah, let's kill him no, I got it, I'm on my break, man, I'm a donut shop. I'm going to go kill that man in the turtleneck because you shouldn't. You're not going to be in the turtleneck and you should arrest him, you shouldn't kill him, you're going to eat the donut and I'm going to cut this man's throat.
Would you be interested in having me read aloud a segment from the survival manual titled Jades Balls?

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