EP121: Ashley and Jared Get Hypnotized! w/ Dr MikeJul 01, 2023
alright guys, welcome to the podcast I don't get a podcast, this is Nass, this is Ashley and instead of Lauren we have this, Jerry and we also have another special guest who is dr. Mike Dow oh my god, dr. Mike Series God, we're guys, we're so excited, so if you remember the last time we had dr. Mike in which we spoke, we floated around the idea of dr. Mike hypnotizing Ashley and Jared because Ashley, you've never been
hypnotized, right, yes, and I doubt it, but I don't want to raise too many doubts. I'm a very positive thinker, but I just have to say that I have doubts that he can pull it off. under the hypnotizing spell and even more than I doubt myself I doubt my fiancée because this man is very anxious, very in his head at all times he does not let me go so we will see that I am very good with that cause an obstacle when being under hypnosis Well, he's actually a great person for hypnosis because hypnosis is great for anxiety and stress, but if you're so nervous that you don't want to be
hypnotized, sometimes it can be a hindrance, but if you really want to be hypnotized and you want stress or anxiety to go away, then it's actually incredibly effective.
I doubt it for myself, but I want it and then for Jared. I hope you want it. I do not know what I want. I will say that I am. a little skeptical, okay, either hypnosis or obviously this is a different field, but what am I thinking when you can talk to the dead medium in all facets of life? So let me ask TV what do you think of when you hear the word hypnosis? Is it something like Las Vegas? What is your preconceived idea? David's lecture honestly. I think about Las Vegas really honestly. The first thing that comes to mind is yo-yoing going back and forth and just looking at a pocket.
Look at the body's thought, yeah, yeah, pull out the movie, yeah, yeah, and that makes me think about hypnosis, the sunken place, the sunken place, what is Jared, the sunken place? I think they finished my last year of high school. We had a hypnotist come for my finale. party of the year or like a graduation party and it would be I peed my pants honestly in the middle of the auditorium laughing so hard at my friends on stage who were being hypnotized they thought they were chickens yes they were cows they thought they were Britney Spears and they are performing for us.
I thought it was the funniest thing ever. I have to say that I think every public school had a hypnotist because we had that too and I was one of them, obviously, really and I feel like I just played along. with that, but that's not the type of hypnosis, right, that's very different, yeah, what do you think? That's stage hypnosis. Oh, I use clinical and medical hypnosis to help people overcome phobias, it treats medical conditions like irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, it's and you know, Study after study in these medical journals it's more effective than prescription medications for many of these conditions, so it's really amazing what the subconscious brain can do.
In the book you will see my own brain scans and you will see it on a SPECT. scan that shows how my brain changes while I'm under hypnosis, how my brain changes in terms of blood flow and then an EEG that shows the brain wave changes in my brain activity so you can see that there is solid science behind this , but yes, the setting. Hypnosis listen, there are some people who go on stage and just want to please and make their friends laugh. That being said, there are some super hypnotizable people, so what stage hypnotist uses these tests on the audience to find the most hypnotizable person out there? there and they pick that person to come on stage and those people can do some pretty crazy stuff like Berkeley and make some innocent eyes.
I don't remember her name, but she said it wasn't necessary to know much about her to know what she was. the most hypnotizable girl out of the 500 kids in my class and she liked that there were like nine kids up there and I think he kept eliminating the ones that looked like they were slightly under the peak and then in the end it was just something that Joe and her I was doing all this acting and we were like, yeah, what makes someone hypnotizable. Well, there are many different things. There are some genes that we have discovered in research that make someone more hypnotizable if you are a native artistic type.
They are more likely to be hypnotizable and very intelligent people if you are the type of person who can get lost in a script, a novel or a movie, that is a type of trans because you are somewhere and then you go to another place in your life . The mind's eye, which is this, that's essentially what hypnosis is, so what you're saying is that if I don't undergo hypnosis today, I'm boring and easily creative until I met him because I used to daydream about what my life would be like. Being with a future husband, whoever he is and now that I found him, I know they do so much, they dream all the time, but if you used to daydream, daydreaming is a type of trance, so you're already hypnotizable, so that's good .
Daydreaming like you're under hypnosis, it's kind of a very light trance because you're going to another place in your mind and that's essentially when I tell you to do something, you're going to go to the place I'm going to tell you. go, which is essentially what you're doing when you're daydreaming, like your body is here, but your mind goes to the beach or something, so that's what you do with hypnosis, so I'm just going to see what exactly is the mind's eye. because I hear that expression all the time, yeah, so basically it's just closing your eyes and then an occipital lobe in your brain lights this up in the back of your brain, so even though your eyes are closed, there's a very quick beta phase. . brain waves in the occipital lobe, which is interesting because usually when your eyes are closed, that part of the brain should turn off, but with hypnosis, when you start visualizing things, that part of the brain lights up, so that you are actually tricking the brain into thinking that it is seeing whatever you are imagining, you are using your mind, that is how virtual reality works.
Yes, I often say you know in the book. I often say that hypnosis is essentially hip virtual reality using subconscious training, what's the name of your book? Dr. that your subconscious brain can change your life. Can you get it on Amazon? It's available at most Barnes and Nobles and oh my goodness, we signed a couple. You're so cute, yeah, you're like Aziz Ansari when he goes to the airport and I always open the door. them to see if I can get a modern love or whatever her name is anyway, so I'm personally curious to meet Ashley Jordan.
I'll walk away once dr. Mike does his thing, but for me I used to be gnosis one when I was going through that really bad heartbreak to basically visualize my ideal self and have more confidence within myself up here at this level, not in the sunken place or whatever you call it. when you undergo hypnosis and dr. Mike also helped me recover from my severe anxiety when I go to Dodger Stadium, so what he would do with me is imagine my most ideal, confident self at Dodger Stadium and then once I saw it, like the picture I made on my head, I thought, oh, I can do that right, I mean, you know what I mean?
And so it's not like the power of positive thinking, although no, because you're seeing him, you're creating the image in your head while he's there. guide you to take the photo so it's not like I'm doing it alone because I can tell myself that's something that's annoying when you have a lot of anxiety when people say we're just not going to get nervous and it doesn't work like that it's almost like that This evil thing in me is working against me so I don't know how to stop it but Jared heard your question so you ask like isn't it just like imagining something and You know, there was a really interesting study where they used MRIs and they asked the They had subjects burn their hands with something that was really hot and then they had them imagine something like well, imagine this is burning your hand and they scanned their brain and then they put them in a hypnotic trance and then they said, "Okay, now Imagine when you were in a hypnotic trance," their brains lit up as if they were actually burning, but that wasn't true when you imagine it in a conscious state so you know at what point when she was watching, that's like herself in him, it's like a dream because you're using the theta brain wave, which is what you see, which is what you use when you're dreaming, so when you were seeing. herself at Dodger Stadium and you know she's confident and as a host and announcer you know she's very different, it's like imagining 100 times on steroids, okay, so you have an augmented reality of me.
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You're not even trying to be someone else, you're just trying to see yourself. I think who you really are is the best version of yourself, which I don't know if you would have a problem with, because you're pretty confident in general, but again, hypnosis is used for a lot of different things. Yes, that was the reason I needed it. You know you'll need it for something else, for example, Jared. You could use it for your fear of flying. I would do it. flying is kind of like I know I'm afraid of flying, but it's not something I was born with, it's something that was developed and I understand that it's like a conscious choice, like I understand it when I'm sitting on the plane like I'll be on a flight tomorrow. when I'm sitting there before takeoff, like I know I'm getting nervous, but I know I have control over my nerves, I just can't control them, but I know it's a conscious choice.
That's exactly how the doctor told me. I know I don't have to be nervous. There's something inside you that's kind of annoying and you can't shake it. It's exactly a good thing. If only I could know. I think he's just a more paranoid human being. Overall, it's really pathetic, but it's not, but my point is that at that moment I know that the strength is within me to overcome this, but no, it's not like, sir, getting to that makes sense, like I know that I can. do it, but I'm just not succumbing to the idea of doing it, instead I'll just lay there, yeah, I say no, I can do this without my heart beating a million miles an hour.
I've done it, so I guess maybe my idea of hypnosis is just different because, like you guys said, my idea of hypnosis is going on stage, you know, and whatever chickens do, I just said chicken, like this. that you are not the idiot of this monstrous Tretorn answers well so with the other day in the wine down paka this is Jenna cream Jana Kramer and her husband Mike have a podcast where they legitimately just talk about their marriage problems for a whole hour, like this that Jared and I took over, replaced them, and talked about our relationship problems like calm adults for about an hour, so we thought we'd pass it on, guys, you can totally check it out.
It's the relaxation podcast with meheart and thought we would spend it here and see what we would say about our problems. under the influence of hypnosis you can also add your fear of flying, that sounds scary, that's all, so my biggest question is: am I going to say something under this influence that will make me so embarrassed that I said into the microphone no? I'm going to say anything embarrassing, but what I find control over what I say, yeah, I think what I've learned from this mini conversation and then I'll let you take over is that it's made up of what we've known growing up in the movies. in the maybe of the stage that's not what it is this you're here you're sitting you're Ashley, you know what's going on, you're thinking that Dr.
Mike is helping you think about things you wouldn't think of on your own, sitting on the sofa and imagining things you wouldn't imagine. on your own and that's medical hypnosis, this is not like Ashley, you go to the refrigerator and get the milk out and like you're sleepwalking, that's not what it is, you know what I mean, it wouldn't be like if you didn't do it . I know how Frankenstein and I turned against you. What's interesting is that sometimes you know, yeah, you know what the professionals say. Sometimes couples, with the help of their subconscious brain, find something they were not aware of that explains something that is a problem.
In their current relationship, something deeper that they weren't really aware of was in the subconscious and we know that the subconscious has access to memories to a much greater degree than the conscious mind, so it wasn't just the laundry that was I get upset. it was something deeper sometimes sometimes it's okay, I'm really interested now, what's the best way to suggest we do this if Jared and I had temperatures at exactly the same time or should we both do it individually? Well, Jared sounds very specific in his goal. terms of fear of flying, so there are actually some very specific suggestions for students that I would give you, so why can I start with you?
Sure, let's do it, yeah, I think so, but do you really want to do it as a couple and do marital things or let's do two. Okay, one is Jared and then the other is both, yeah, absolutely fine. Well, it will take a long time. We have a full podcast here. Okay, cool, okay, this may have a little dim lighting. Well, Jared. I'm going to use this little device that's going to help you get into trance a little bit quicker, it's called audiovisual entrainment, so you're going to see some lights flashing at the theta frequency and you're going to hear some rhythms just right, but it feels like it's about going into a club, yeah, sort of, and we shouldn't talk about all this, right, probably not, yeah, it's very hard to keep your eyes open, it's very bright, so what I'm doing is I'm wearing glasses sunny right now with lights flashing. artwork, I'm not afraid of having epilepsy, so I hope it doesn't appear now.
Okay, here we go. Will you be and then close your eyes? I'm acting like this is a joke right now. You're going to start exploding, no, no. Hard rock on my shirt. I also have headphones on for the podcaster. If you're listening to some things, you'll probably already notice that you're getting more and more relaxed, and it's a little difficult because you're sitting close to that microphone. but I want you to find a position where it is comfortable for you to relax deeper and deeper and with your eyelids closed I want you to first notice a color that is right in front of you and then on the next inhalation. to roll your eyeballs up to the crown of your head and then hold your breath, hold your breath, that's right and now exhale them so that your eyeballs float down and now bring that breath down like you. you are going down in an elevator 12 11 10 10 deeply deeply relaxed 10 9 8 8 getting deeper and you will be able to go deeper 8 7 6 really feeling that you are moving down in this elevator 6 5 and 4 you can become two or even three times more relaxed in fluoride you go 4 3 2 1 1 1 and now Jared you can see and hear the elevator doors opening and see yourself and visualize yourself walking towards a place and a memory and I don't know what memory your subconscious is going to help you find but this will be a memory that will help you feel extremely calm I don't know who you're with I don't know what you're doing but you can see it so clearly and you can really imagine that feeling in a way that maybe feels deeper or different than just imagining it consciously and You can notice how it feels in your body to feel so relaxed and so calm and so comfortable and so carefree and isn't that so nice to know? you just cultivated that sense of cool, carefree comfort, really trying that experience and really noticing what it feels like, this is it, this is it, and your breathing and breathing has become slower and more regular and I already see that it has moved towards down from the footprint to the chest.
Even the belly is an indication that a part of you has already begun to relax, so I imagine that you have found this memory that has helped you stay calm, cool and comfortable and now in your mind as you carry that feeling with you or roll up the tape and find the first memory of the time when you were afraid of flying, that's right, I don't know what time, what day, how many years ago it was, but you can see it as clearly as if you were watching it on a movie screen. That's right, and now you're going to play that scene from the beginning to the end, only you're going to play that scene in black and white in three, two, one and you're going to keep that feeling of feeling so cool and calm and comfortable, and now you're going to rewind . and I'll play it again only this time I'll mute the volume so it's black and white and it's muted and now I'll rewind and minimize the screen like it's a picture within a picture and the picture is only 2 inches long at the top . right corner now play forward and now play it, you know, this time I want you to get closer and just notice the things that you do in that shot to help you feel so calm, so calm and so comfortable playing that now to maximize that in full color turning up the volume on everything you do to help you remember how comfortable and brave you are pressing play right now and I don't know exactly what you saw or what it feels like to see that, but now in your mind.
Be careful, you are going to travel forward in time and now, as if you had an iPad in front of you, you will see yourself on tomorrow's flight and as if it were a crystal ball that will show you something unfolding, you will see a change, a small change or maybe a significant one, a small or significant change of something that you will do differently and this change will feel easy and I'm not sure if it's the fact that you can access that part of you that feels calm and carefree etc. You feel comfortable when you access that plane, but you can see it so clearly now, right?
And now, as I count backwards from five to one, you will go deeper once again so that these suggestions that we planted deep in your subconscious five four three - one the sound of jet engines reminds me how brave and carefree I am the sound of jet engines reminds me how brave and carefree I am the sound of jet engines reminds me how brave and carefree I am I have done so many things in my life I have done so many things in my life I have done so many things in my life flying airplanes is easy to fly on a plane it's easy to fly on a plane it's easy it's very easy for me to stay relaxed it's very easy for me to stay relaxed it's very easy for me to stay relaxed and I don't know when you'll notice that something small or significant has already changed thanks to the help of your subconscious brain, whether it's on tomorrow's flight when you get on that plane or At some point in the middle of that flight, but at some point, at some point, you will notice that something has started to change and those changes will begin to develop more and more in each and every way and every day, and now you will see. that elevator that brought you here knowing that every time you use this practice, if you listen to this podcast over and over again, these changes will continue to improve and you will become braver, more carefree and calmer every time you use this practice, so now seeing that elevator that brought you here now become more alert and you will feel so wonderful and so awake when you reach the number twelve one two three more awake and alert four five six feeling the energy return to the mind and body seven eight nine almost there ten eleven eyes open feeling so wonderful carefree eyes open twelve how was it it was great you felt like you had entered a different realm no, but I don't know if that was the intention yes no, it felt very I felt very calming, especially in the parts where I imagined myself going down in the elevator, thinking about a memory that comes to mind that I'm talking about, it was a memory from when I was thinking about a time when I was a child on the beach, no, why would I?
Did you ever say that I don't know that was my fear when I heard that oh wow that's a big fear I just didn't expect that to come out of your mouth I thought what if his moment of calm is no? I was thinking about a time when we went to the beach there is a memory I don't know why but I think it's because we were I always went I always went to the beach with my mom and my sister and and my mom's best friend and her daughter and then There was one time my dad met us at the beach and that was a memory I was thinking about because we were playing, he was throwing the soccer ball in the water and I was in the water.
Anyway, it's a great memory and I think Drew The testament will be tomorrow when I'm, you know, you know practicing this and seeing how I feel in the moment, yeah, and you know, that's what a great voice you have. Thanks, it's too soon, again and again, that's what I don't believe in hypnosis. It has to get you into some crazy altered state where you feel like I don't know, I'm just going to float away, you know, I think it's that kind of calm state where you almost feel like you've had a glass of wine so you know that It doesn't have to be like this totally crazy state you know that's what I don't think it is I think everyone thinks you're going to like another planet or something I think you're completely Alert, right, you're like you're present, but you're also seeing an alternate version of yourself that's super chill, well, I think it is too, and I don't want to make this too simplistic because I don't know what.
What the hell am I talking about, but in the experience I felt like it was a distraction because in our everyday life, like Ashley said, there are a lot of times where I'm in my own head, which I assume a lot of times. People look alike too and at that particular moment I wasn't because you made me think of memories and think about certain moments that happened in my life that I had to focus on and it was reassuring because it's almost like you. You're focusing on something so that you can almost have a clear thought process, yes, and I think that's, I don't know, but the subconscious is so suggestible and it's like don't think about a pink elephant, and if we have so many negative things spinning around in our heads, it's almost like that becomes a form of negative self-hypnosis, so it's almost like we have to start planting positive things just to notice, oh, look how confident you are.
Look how many things you've done, look, you know, it's almost like it's rewriting the conversation in our heads because I think a lot of us were programmed, you know, for the sake of evolution, to look for things that could go wrong. so we don't die yeah essentially you know so I think we actually have to use these skills to do the opposite so I'm excited to know what tomorrow is like those yeah so I don't know how many of you they know. I mentioned this before on the podcast, but I'm currently producing the show Easy Met Gala, which I'm really excited about because I'm obsessed with the Met Gala, it's like my favorite red carpet and I was doing a little research on Anna Wintour recently and what she wears and I actually read an article today that said Anna Wintour wants to dress more like Megan Markel and instantly when I saw that I thought we're going to see Anna Wintour in some nasty things.
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What do you think I'm going to do? Hypnosis was something like that or should we choose something else. I have a fun little general hypnosis trick, although I think I could do with both of you at the same time, my ferret, who could be a little fun and that's good, you could be my observation assistant. I'm not friends with Nari. Can she reduce it during hypnosis like sugar free listeners? If there is something interesting that you see and that you know, you could calmly say it. I don't know what he does sometimes, so I won't care, no, but Jer raises a good point.
I think after, well, obviously, just like we did with Jared, he's going to explain to me everything that I saw, yeah, sorry, yeah, whatever you see, just notice. Are we okay with the current seating arrangement? Yes, I think you are good and what do we do because we only have one marelize. This time we will skip it. Yes, because you don't need this. I do not need this. Yes that's fine. so I'm going to have you both put your elbows on the table and I'm going to rest like this, like this, yeah, and then I'm going to do what's like this, so you're here. just free, yeah, oh, yeah, and the palms, uh-huh, yeah, and then I'll touch both of your wrists at some point and I'll start by breathing deeply a few times and you'll notice that the body can already start to relax. and when you are ready to enter a deeper state then you can allow the eyelids to close, that's right, perhaps noticing how good it feels to just let everything go and isn't it so interesting?
I know we didn't have to teach ourselves as babies how to relax or how to sleep, that's something that came so naturally and normally, and I imagine part of you feels a little more relaxed than it did just a few years ago. minutes ago perfect, that's right and then I'm going to take both of your wrists and I'm going to ask you to keep your arms out like this and hold them there for me, that's right and now like you did before in the Next inhalation I want you to roll your eyeballs up and I'll hold my breath, hold my breath, look up, wait, wait, keep your arms where they are and now let your eyeballs float down, down, that's right and now imagine. that you are sliding down an escalator with 12 floors 12 11 10 getting more and more relaxed with each floor and you can allow yourself to just go with the flow 10 9 8 becoming more and more dreamy maybe 8 7 6 isn't it so nice to know that you have this ability to relax 6 5 4 almost there now you are already doing it wonderfully and you have barely started 5 4 3 2 next to the top floor 1 1 one and now here in this relaxed state in the state of hypnosis where you can use the power of your imagination and you can allow yourself to imagine things vividly and the more you allow yourself to do things, things can feel like they are happening and now you can imagine that I am tying a thread to this. hand and you can imagine that this rope is holding a balloon and you can imagine that that balloon is filled with all the love that you have for Ashley Jared and for Jared Ashley and you can imagine now that there are two balloons and many people say that in this state they begin to feel that things can happen by themselves and you can imagine all the excitement and in your mind you can think of all the moments you have spent together, the time you knew you were together. in love with each other and it's almost like all those memories are filling one, two, three four balloons with helium and that hand can feel lighter and lighter and lighter and then on the other hand you can imagine that I just tied a rope and that rope. is holding a bucket and in that bucket there are insecurities and fears and in your mind you can imagine in this relaxed state that arm becomes heavier and heavier when you are ready to release those fears and those insecurities, that arm can become heavier and you can start to notice that that arm, that hand, feels a little bit heavier than the hand that's floating and when you're ready to go even deeper, that hand can float up to the table and you can continue here just watching. all the fears, anything that doesn't serve you, whether it's those conversations or arguments about things where Jared wanted things to go a certain way but he didn't say anything and you have an argument about it or maybe it's being in Los Angeles and the different ways in which Two of you feel that you can allow all those past arguments to put them in the right bucket and when you are ready to release them completely, you can imagine that bucket being unleashed and all those fears and insecurities, even that insecurity .
Ashley. about Jared's reassuring memory of an ex who just let all of that go and then you can imagine that when you fill this hand with helium and with love for all the memories that you two have when I let go of this hand, it can feel a little a little bit different, like it's easier than normal for this hand to stay floating in space and all the love you have for each other will continue to hold this hand up high and you can really imagine in your mind's eye that all of the love that you have in your heart for each other is holding this and you can imagine in your mind that everything you want in your future together, the best version of yourself to be the best version of yourself with your partner, is holding that hand. in space as I let go, becoming almost weightless now, that's right, that's right, and then, as I count backwards from five to one, that hand can come down to the table, and as it does, it will be as if everything you've ever done made here was wired. in every cell and model of molecule and atom of your body in your heart, mind and spirit five four three two one and you will see in your mind something that you will do a little differently with your partner together and I I don't know what that is I don't know If it's just a little more patience I don't know if it's saying what you think in a nice way but I think you both know that, right?
Yes, that's right and now. your subconscious will show you one thing, one thing you will do differently to cultivate a little more love for each other. I wonder what your subconscious is showing you now, that's right, that's right, perfect and now deep within you once again so these suggestions can be planted deep in the suggestible subconscious by imagining yourself sinking deeper into the trance. now five four three two one I am inherently adorable and I love my partner I am inherently adorable and I love my partner I am inherently adorable and I love my partner, we treat each other with grace and kindness and this is very easy we treat each other with grace and kindness and this is so easy we treat each other with grace and kindness and this is so easy our love grows every day and every day in every way our love will grow every day and in every way our love will grow every days in every way and every time you need to be reminded of this in your mind you can see a color in front of you or a symbol or a shape and I don't know if it's a pink heart or a memory of the two of you or something a gift that one of you you gave to each other but all these memories all the love that you have for each other and you can be reminded of that when you have an argument or a difficult day with each other, all you need to do is remember that, remember that and all these memories, all these peaceful, relaxing feelings and all this love. will float back and now seeing that escalator that brought you here floating up your love stronger than ever 1 2 3 feeling more awake and alert 4 5 6 7 8 9 I'm starting to open 10 11 eyes wide open awake and alert the 12 hello guys hello hello hello how are you?
I feel like it took me a while to get there because my arms are so tired dr. Mike lifted both of them, oh yeah, yeah, but I will say that the arm that you said was supposed to feel heavier felt heavier and then you lifted it here and it was light by a little bit mm-hmm dr. Mikey explains which arm went up and when, so people know what was going down, yeah, so you know this is one of the ways I can see how hypnotizable someone is, so this is one of the first things a hypnotist from Las Vegas will do, but it's also interesting to me because I can use it to go deeper into someone and it's interesting because people will also see, especially if they've never been hypnotized, that something is happening, so when they start to feel that their hand is a a little bit heavier or like oh and I let go when he let go of my hand, I felt lighter than usual, it's like a sign to that person that, oh, something is different, like something is happening right, so I use it a lot, so I just hypnotize. one of the cheddar hosts and I mean him, he was a super hypnotizable person, he had never been hypnotized and he went with the balloon, his hand moved like he was like, what was that?
That was crazy, you know, there's something, you know, different. levels in terms of you know, like the first time someone is hypnotized, but you know it's interesting a little technique, a little trick to see how hypnotizable someone is, but it can also deepen your trance, which is cool, I definitely say. that Sawyer is going up and down and then Jerrod there was one a lot at the beginning it was because my arm was very tired then one went up and the heaviest one came down oh yeah, yeah, it was like going down, almost like playing the podcast.
I had to like it. move it and then Jerrod there was a point where you were smiling so hard but I don't know what you were thinking Lois was growling no I was thinking obviously about the intimate moments I had with Ashley and obviously things I could do to improve our relationship despite which is already amazing, I don't want people to get the wrong impression, um, but no, those things were certainly going through my mind both on the left side with the balloons of things that you have, you know. I cultivated our love and then vice versa in the rights and the cube that weighed it sometimes what was the memory that you thought of when it was like a good memory well, there were numerous memories I was like a moment when he said like Oh in at the end yes, at the end where I said something like what would you do differently oh yes, part yes, I was thinking about that but it wasn't like that when you said at the beginning I was thinking about memories, I thought he said and now You see, this time at the end I was thinking On it.
I like to think about acting in action. You could do more to improve the relationship. Totally fine and what was that? There was something specific, yes, there was something specific that Smile means that. There is something very specific that you may not want to say in the pocket. No, nothing. We actually talked about this on the Winddown podcast. She wants her to be more touchy-feely and I think I'm touchy-feely, but maybe not that much. I was at the beginning of relationships it was something I could make more romantically susceptible he likes to tickle me and hold me and but I'm like that's different than what you want like a sweet intimate or tender touch but like I need like a little more like a tender and gentle yes, that's always something you know and you know I hate to compare it to sports, but in many ways you know that seeing that action in your mind is not that different from that of the Olympic jumper that is Imagining like the three somersaults that he's going to do before he gets on the trampoline, or like Tom Brady going to the line of scrimmage and specifying who he's going to throw the ball to, actually yes, you know, so I think we all benefit. of imagining things and then it becomes easier for us to do it in our everyday conscious waking life, so you know, I don't think hypnosis is some crazy thing that's going to change your life in an instant, in like eight seconds and then everything is going to change magically, you know, I think it requires effort, there is will, you have to want to do what requires effort, you know, I come, but you know my technique, it's actually a little more complex and what I just combined some cognitive tools -behavioral with hypnosis?
So you put them all together, but you know all of that and you can really start to change your life. We asked you what you thought of that last memory. Yeah, well, I thought about our first. A real quote, not to the pointthe one where we were in the hills drinking champagne, but on the way to the restaurant afterwards and you thought I was a little drunk, yeah, yeah, yeah, that part wasn't in a hurry, was it, that's all that happens. big enough, you all know, yes, it was a great memory, what did you think when you thought you could improve the relationship?
It's probably another thing I wouldn't talk about, well, Jared shares, it's interesting, that's the tradition, I would say a little bit. more like a sexy effort mm-hmm it's very common, I would say it's a very cumin, yes, women want more romance, which would classify your desire to touch him as a kind of romance and you know, sex, yes, vice or you like them the basic advice you have for similar couples who may be going through something similar, like what to do. you tell couples who are going through that because I think it's very common, yeah, how do people have that?
Yeah, I think so, I think we have to really look at each other's love languages and you know it's not sexist when we look. in the male and female brains so that women want intimacy and men want sex. That said, there are a lot of women who want more sex and men who want more intimacy, but when you can really look at what your partner needs and give them that and speak their love language and also receive love in the language that you need it, then you can have a really great relationship and you know, I think the other thing that really works and I think we don't do enough of it and that's Why I like this really simple exercise but I think it's kind of a profound exercise: it's really easy when the times are difficult to forget.
You know you are not going through a difficult time. So obviously it's easier now, but when couples are going through a tough time. It's hard to remember all the wonderful things correctly right now, so it's nice to remember all the things you fell in love with and savor those memories and then see, okay, what can I really see? I like to take our relationship to the next level, because when we're hurt we go straight to oh well, he or she didn't do that or I can't believe Hugh should write and that causes this 'don't sand that defensiveness'. prevents progress so you know, I think this kind of thing removes the defensive layers "no, and you know it can help progress, you know, go in the right direction hmm, well, the doctor might think this was fascinating, right?" Can people who listen to the podcast?" For example, if someone is going through a problem with a partner or a friend, can they hear what you just did to Jared, for example, if they are afraid of something or what you just did to Ashley and Lauren, And play with Lauren, I mean?
They are absolutely terrified of Ashley and Jared and play along so to speak, yes they work on their own stuff, yes I need someone there, yes they absolutely can do it so you know you don't have to be in a room with someone to experience hypnosis there. are in my book, I have audio tracks included, like a little link, so there are all these different goals, so if your goal wasn't to be afraid of flying, there are different audio tracks that are included in my book, but If your goal was to know how to build relationships, you can do it.
Absolutely rewind this podcast and go back to what Ash and Jared just experienced and do it for yourself and practice it and see yourself going down that escalator and imagine all the good things in your relationship and most of all, you know, I think it's especially good return. to this podcast when you've had a bad day and you're about to fight, like, oh right, I'm in love with my partner, I'm like I just got tied to balloons, my meditation apps, are there any you really like, You know, I really like Jon Kabat-zinn. I think he has an application.
I don't remember what it is, but I know I like hypnosis because for me, the ice, I took a lot of meditation classes. Hypnosis is easier, that's just for me. Personally, I'm super hypnotizable and you're a psychotherapist, which is essentially what a psychotherapist is, one of the things they specialize in, yeah, it's hypnosis, yeah, so a lot of things are going to do that meditation, and my brain is like this all day. It's really hard for me to taper it off, which is what meditation does. My brain just needs to be off right now with hypnosis, you just go down, like I think when I think about meditation.
I think of a little baby roller coaster. like slow it down like hypnosis is like the death drop it just takes you from alpha to theta and then my brain needs you to know but every brain is different you are the best thank you for coming enjoy the notes and free. guys listening, I'm sure this was like our Oh, a cover of a podcast that's my favorite on Netflix, it just means it's really easy for you not to watch it. I am proud to say that it is a very unpredictable, chilling and strange show. but it's so good, that's how I think I'd describe this jazz podcast if you're listening to it anyway, thanks dr.
Mike, you are the best, always a pleasure, thank you. I'm sitting in this chair, you know, in front of a microphone. I say it Ashley and Lauren. I'm sure I have time. Jerry. I get confused with Lauren all the time, but you. You guys can go see Dr. Mike's book, Your Subconscious Brain Can Change Your Life, is it on Amazon? It's perfect and faster than Amazon takes 50% of your prezis. I don't know, I get like a dollar per book. Sigh, you're just giving the Lord a faith, oh well. We love you guys, thank you, subscribe, like, follow on Instagram, bye, this podcast is brought to you by the Weave Podcast Network.
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