Emotional Interventions for Depression and Anxiety | Depression Quickstart Guide

This episode was pre-recorded as part of a live, on-demand continuing education webinar. CEUs are still available for this filing through the all CEU registration at allceus.com/counselortoolbox. I would like to welcome everyone to today's presentation. More than a hundred practical tips to overcome

depression

. Today we are going to talk about

emotional

interventions

. This is part of a six-part series based on a book I'm publishing in October called 100, 100 Plus Practical Tips for Beating Depression. Imagine, so today we're just going to talk about

emotional

interventions

, we're going to define what they are, we're going to discuss why it's important to add happiness, not just eliminate unpleasantness, we're going to discuss solution-focused methods to help clients identify emotional interventions, identify the Mindfulness and how it can help clients tap into happiness. and gratitude and building resilience, all things that are really helpful for happiness and we'll explore types of emotional interventions that can be used in individual and group counseling, so a lot of what I'm going to talk about today is not the basics.

What is grief? What is anger? I'm going to talk about tools and activities that we can do because you already know what grief is. I mean, you understood that in first-year advising, so emotional interventions, like we're going to talk about today, help people. Address the emotions that make them feel depressed, which means you can help them accept unpleasant emotions. notice I didn't say delete, I said accept them when you start trying to delete them. Think about acceptance and commitment therapy when you start trying to eliminate anger and tell yourself. I shouldn't be angry, you just start fighting with it and it's like being in quicksand and then you get frustrated because you're still angry and then you get frustrated because you're frustrated because you're still angry, so we're not eliminating the unpleasant thoughts, we accept them. and we say, "Okay, this is: I don't feel happy right now." How can I improve the next moment?

I can't change how I feel now, but I can improve the next moment. We don't have to stay stuck here, too. We want to talk about how to present and avoid unnecessary unpleasantness because there are things that happen in life, hands, lemons and you know, yada, yada, but there are also times when you can avoid unpleasantness, like driving in traffic, you know, driving and heavy traffic stresses me out so you know what I usually do unless absolutely necessary I don't drive during rush hour and that helps me feel happier and more relaxed and finally let's talk about adding emotions pleasant, like I said, what kind of tools do you use to help clients, except that they are unpleasant emotions and to add happiness to their lives?

Well, journaling is a great place to go because it helps people become aware of their emotions and begin to understand them. connections and if you're journaling about them, they actually did a study, I don't remember where, but it's at one of our other presentations they had high school and college kids journal for 20 minutes every day about things positive things that happened that day and journaling about the positive things helped them shift their focus, so to speak, and they tended to report improved mood and reduced stress overall after 30 days of practicing this, so journaling and especially if you journal consciously trying to identify the positive things that happened.

That day can help you remember that there may have been some setbacks, but that the whole day didn't suck. More self-care is another big thing because if we're sleepy we're not going to feel like ourselves, we may be more likely to be stressed if we're in pain, we're probably not going to be the happiest we could be, so we want to look for those vulnerabilities as Linehan calls them and make sure we prevent them. as much as possible to give us the best opportunity to experience happiness whenever it comes, so the first activity we can have clients do is help them identify their feelings if they don't know what they feel if they are always okay or okay, you know those trash terms we use, you know, I don't really think they know how they feel, so I want them to use some other word to describe how they feel and you can use emotion charts like this with teenagers.

You can use a chart with emoticons because that's what they relate to best, that's fine, so if you're working with a person, you can ask them to make lists of things that make them feel a certain way, like what kinds of things you feel you. guilty about what kinds of things make you happy yada-yada they can make collages that answer the same questions and they can make those journals and yes, you could ask them to experiment with the positivity journal that I talked about a minute ago or you can just ask them to write a diary about their day and then we can look at the diary together and if we notice that the diary is largely negative, we can encourage them to try to balance it.

You know, not eliminating the negative, but what else do you know? Tell me. some happy things or some good things that happen that day - in groups, if you're working on these collages it's another great art therapy activity you can do, you can also get a beach ball and I'm going to talk about the beach ball and Jenga a lot Nowadays, get one of those big beach balls and a permanent marker and write the different feelings all over the beach ball and then when you have your people sitting in a group, you throw the ball to them and whoever catches it looks up. down and They'll probably see three or four different words and they'll choose the one they want, but the word that's highest is the one they're supposed to answer, so if they catch the ball, they look down and it says hysterical and we're going to think hysterical happy You know, I'm going to say something that will make you laugh hysterically and I want you to do it and we'll spend it, you know, for as long as we can and it tends to get some good juices flowing, you can choose to have a ball that only has happy emotions. and positive ones like hope, love, happiness, hysteria and all those things so that you focus on the happy feelings of that day or you can choose to mix them up. top Jenga is another game if you get a Jenga game and on each block you write a different emotion, so every time someone draws that block, whatever block they draw, they have to give an example of what the emotion makes them feel that is written. on that block, so it makes it a bit fun, they're playing a game, it's not quite a game, so you know, we're not just sitting in a circle talking, it gives them something to do in a group, you can also play charades , someone will draw an emotion from a hat and then they have to represent whatever emotion it is and people have to guess what they are feeling now angry it's easy how do you prove it?

How do you act embarrassed or naughty so that it becomes funny and it can, you know, make people laugh, but it can also make them more in tune because remember that when we feel something, there is a unit of emotional response that we label, there is a physiological response, heart rate goes up, heart rate goes down, whatever it is, and then there. They're behavioral impulses, so this gives us an idea of ​​what we do when we get angry, you know, do we clench our fists and grimace or do you know when we're anxious? The last thing you can do as a group if you want is Do a how would you feel if? and I have different scenarios written again.

I usually use a box and put them on sheets of paper and people take out a sheet of paper and how would you feel if you received a package that you weren't expecting? I know how you would feel if your boss called you into his office and gave you a run, whatever situations you want, there are good ones and there are unpleasant ones, but that helps people start to identify the different types of feelings they feel and get used to it. . to use those other words besides well and it's okay, and Cassandra added that when he has his clients journal a lot, he encourages them to add something they're grateful for at the end of the journal and that's awesome. because at least you rate it, even if they write this journal, it was a really bad day, but if they rate it with something they're grateful for, that increases their sense of hope and that commitment and control and challenge that we talk so harshly about, Fear is one of those feelings that we feel and that prevents us from feeling happy.

You know, anger and fear are our response to stress and our response to threat. So when people feel fear, they cannot feel happy. You know, you generally can't have both things coexisting at the same time. At exactly the same time and as we've talked about before, there are six basic threats that people respond to with fear or anger, rejection, isolation, failure, loss of control, the unknown and death, and there are some questions in the book that customers can do about an individual. base if you want, but let's talk about the group, so if you are in a group and you are trying to help clients identify and understand fear, brainstorm the types of situations that cause people in the group to experience that particular kind of fear, so what kinds of things make you feel rejected, what kinds of things make you feel worried because you're not going to have control or you know that, and you can have stations around the room if you want them. people fill them out or you can brainstorm, you know, however you want to do that, discuss as a group why a particular fear triggers

anxiety

, so if certain things make you feel like you've been rejected, why that?

Does it make you feel or are you afraid to react? Fear appears causing why does that make you feel threatened? What happens if you get rejected there? So we really want to explore what the meaning of that event is for that person. If it is, you know you try to ask someone out and the person says no and the person gets rejected and they may feel anxious and they may not want to ask someone else out because they are afraid of rejection so we want to talk. about why you are afraid to expose yourself. there and where you might be rejected, what does that say if someone rejects you, what does that say about you and really get them to look at the logic behind that and explore how addressing this fear will impact their

depression

?

So if you have someone who has a lot of fears surrounding depression surrounding rejection and failure, for example, do you know if they could address their fear with those situations if they can start to feel less anxious about rejection, do you know? How will that affect your depression? because we remember, we remember that depression when people are depressed, they often feel hopeless and helpless, so if they are exposed to a threat, when we are exposed to a threat, do we often feel helpless or like we need to get out of she? So if they address some of these fears and you know, mitigate them a little bit so that they're not terrified, they're mildly anxious, that will free up some energy and make them feel more empowered and more confident in themselves, ask them to identify strategies that they've been effective in the past, so when you have You have tried to ask someone out in the past.

You know you've been afraid to do it, but you've mustered up the courage. How did you do it? or when you experienced rejection in the past. How did you handle it?. That worked. you so you don't feel bad later and ask them to put it in their toolbox. You can also ask them to review the challenging questions worksheet. I often ask my clients to have an emergency card of challenging questions and it basically makes the client wonder, you know what? It's my thought if I get rejected it means I'm a loser or if I get rejected it means people are going to laugh at me okay, you know, if that's what you think, let's see what the evidence is for and against, let's see Ante objective evidence, are you making these assumptions based on facts or feelings because you're anxious and assuming you know people are going to laugh at you?

Those are the two most important ones and then we want to make them look and say: you know, in three or four months or three or four weeks, this is really going to matter, like fear, anger, is a natural response to those threats, rejection, isolation, failure, loss of control of the unknown and death, but what we fail and there. Many times there are types of fear as well, but there are many types of anger, so to speak, nuances of anger that we often overlook as parts of anger, so anger is obviously a resentment, well, that's a kind of anger, you know, it's the anger you have. for a long time and sometimes you feed irritation and guilt Guilt is anger at yourself for something you did or something you didn't do that you should have done, so we want clients to explore each type of anger and what triggers it. how it affects their mental health and how they could respond better when they do something and feel guilty about it instead of carrying this guilt around like an albatross around their neck, how else could they respond?

When working in individual sessions,I have clients keep a journal for a month and ask them to write a page for each emotion, so there is a page for resentment, a page for irritation, and a page for guilt, and sometimes they fill a page. They won't and that's okay, but I just want them on separate pages so you can start to categorize what's happening so you can identify if there are certain types of anger that you feel or how often you feel it and maybe look for solutions if so. . We are doing this as a group.

Think about the types of things that cause anger, resentment, irritation and guilt, or know another way. What you can do is create a survey and I usually hand them out at the end of a group and collect them before the next group and then count them and We talk about it and the third group gives them time to think about it. and do it, but if you create a survey that asks customers what are the top ten things that make you angry, what are the top 10 things that annoy you, yada, yada, then you can start making lists and start having more of what speak in the group. and you can take that out and instead of a client being on the scene saying you know what's something that's bothering them, you can say well, it sounds like you know most of you identified this as a common resentment, so let's talk about that and write it on the board and then process it and remember guilt as part of that anger, so we want to define guilt for clients and help them see what inward-directed anger looks like and explore its impact on mood and self-esteem, That is, when you feel guilty about something, how does that affect your depression?

You know when I feel guilty. I feel like you taste a little desperate. I feel a little helpless and I feel bad about myself. Have clients identify on a piece of paper the things they feel guilty about. and let them share whatever they choose, they may not want to share anything they are willing to share. You know, I feel guilty for making this decision. Okay, explore why the client is angry with themselves and one of the interesting things about this is if you have clients, if it's a closed group and the clients are willing to share, it's surprising how many faults clients have in common and can say.

Yes, they already did that and burned the shirt to be able to provide social support to each other in an activity. What I do like to do, however, is have clients write a list of all the things they feel guilty about. You don't have to share it, just write a list and then count how many guilts there are on that list so that if you feel guilty. For 27 things, okay, you get one person for everyone and it can be a shopping bag, if you want, it can be a backpack, anything you have access to. If they have 27 faults, then you put 27 stones in their backpack and you may need two groceries. bags because you know that now they break easily and they need to carry them with them and during this activity, when we start making the backpacks, if we don't have a place where we can go for a walk, I simply ask them to put the loads of their backpacks on their shoulders and they have They have to sit there and when you hold these backpacks for a while they get heavy, so we talk about how the guilt weighs them down and saps their energy and then we go over the blames on their list. and I ask them to look at them, they don't have to share them again and identify which ones they can forgive themselves, you know, I made a bad decision, I made a mistake, but you know I've done better or which ones they can fix. you need to make amends in some way and which ones they can let go, you know which ones are really inconsequential when they were, you know that in grade 11 they did something that was unpleasant to a friend of theirs, so you know it may be something that they just need to let go because they really don't there is a need to make amends and there really is nothing to necessarily forgive at this point, so any of those who think they can decide to let it go, cross off their list and can take those stones.

They take out their backpack and then they can see how much time is left, so this is one of those experiential exercises that can be fun. It's much more effective if you can put the stones in packages, either in grocery bags or backpacks, and go for a walk, you know, a quarter mile, you don't know, nothing too long, where people have to move around and carry them. If you've ever carried a backpack with you, you know how much more effort it takes to even carry, you know, five bags. the house because you're not going to make a second trip to the car after going to the supermarket, you know how exhausting that can be, another thing is that people often feel guilty for not doing the things they feel like they should and we're just um loaded with shoulds all the time, so a fun activity to do with the group is to do a Guilt Bill of Rights, so we talk about things that you feel guilty about on a regular basis, like sleeping in on Saturday, you know, I should get up and mow the lawn I should get up and go to the gym I should do this and that but you know sometimes we need to take care of ourselves so we want to have this Bill of Rights that we can say you know what I deserve so Ask them to list the blame and then on the other side, their bill of rights, so sleeping in on Saturday maybe I feel guilty about that because, you know, I think I should be doing something else.

On the other hand, I work very hard all week, so I have the right to sleep in and take care of myself by going to the gym. You know, sometimes I put off going to the gym because I have a lot to do at work and you know, ultimately, I have the right to take care of myself again. Myself because my inbox is always going to be full and I'm more effective if I have a clear head, so call it justification, call it whatever you want, but the Bill of Rights is a fun tool to use. to encourage clients to engage in effective self-care, including setting boundaries such as not answering the phone and not responding to work emails after a certain time of day or something.

So how can you help clients identify why they are angry? Understanding what is causing the anger and addressing that anger, okay, the last tip to help you identify your thoughts versus your feelings and you know, understanding where this reaction is coming from is important and the feeling is there and we're going to talk about that in a second to tell it. Pay attention and because the thoughts indicate that there could be a threat, have them focus on specific details about what triggered this emotion and whether it happened before. Well, grief is another of those feelings that we are going to feel sometimes, it indicates it. that you lost something important to you and you know that we can have many losses, we can have those tangible losses like a friend, a pet or a family member, we can lose our health, we can lose our self-esteem, we can lose hope.

We can lose our dreams, so there are many intangible things we can lose and we should encourage people to recognize that those things are also worth regretting. We also want to help them recognize that anger is part of the grieving process, just like depression. So if we're talking about depression and we're working with someone who is depressed, we want to look at whether there are things that you're still grieving and that you still need to deal with and how we can help you move toward acceptance and so much more. Many times when clients feel depressed, they feel stuck, they feel like they haven't accomplished things that they should know, what brought them to this point, but often there are some underlying currents of grief that we can help them address once they have. addressed. that particular problem doesn't serve as a siphon for your energy, so how people identify the types of things to grieve and for each type of loss they identify how to deal with it and there are many different ways, like radical acceptance, it's what is and there you know that when someone dies it is what it is and radical acceptance means accepting that and focusing on the fact that there are some bad points, but there are also, you know that not everything is necessarily bad, like when my friend died. father, you know that's how it was.

It's a bad thing, you know I didn't want to lose him, however, you know that the time I had with him was very valuable and I learned a lot and I have so many good memories, so I'm trying to accept it radically in terms. of what happened with some losses like self-esteem you can work to recover it you know you may have done something you feel bad about yourself you may have made a whole series of bad decisions but that doesn't mean you have to continue doing it punish yourself forever, so explore different permutations of what you can do to deal with this grief situation.

Okay, so let's move on to adding the happy ones. It is not possible to change the past. We can only learn from it and sometimes fix some things that I did wrong, you know, I've worked with people with substance abuse problems for over 20 years and a lot of them know criminal records, convictions, things that you know that They feel bad, they feel guilty, they feel angry about anything except you. I can't fix it, those are there, they're on the record, but you can learn from it so you don't get another DUI and you possibly know that sometimes you can fix things that you did wrong when you were in your active addiction, you alienated half your family and If you want them to come back, you can potentially try to repair those barriers, so we want to encourage people to start living in the present moment, which would make now the best possible conversation in your groups or with your client. about how good it is to hold on to resentment guilt jealousy anger all those things you hold on to it's like holding on to a hot potato it's going to burn you you know you're going to do this and you're I'm going to waste a lot of energy juggling that hot potato to Don't let it burn your hands.

I don't want to do that instead of eliminating anger or

anxiety

. How about you accept it and choose to improve in the next moment? So, if someone gets angry with you. I know, think about how they go on Facebook and someone is cheating on them and they feel so angry, okay, so they might have this whole dialogue with themselves about how they shouldn't be angry about that yada yada, who they are, so instead of fighting Against it, I recognize that I'm angry and this is one of those acceptance and commitment therapy things that say I'm angry, that's okay, what are my options?

You could choose to reply to this person and potentially get into a posting war with them. I could turn off the computer. Could you find out and have them start generating lists of options they have? This helps not only generate options and help them see that they have positive alternatives, but it also gives them time for the adrenaline to wear off so they can get into that wise mind. and then from that list they can say which option I choose to improve in the next moment. You can put this on the board when you are working.

I always have a whiteboard when I do it, groups put different scenarios on there that make people angry. or whatever and then you can ask them to think about their options and if you look at the CT matrix, the psychological flexibility matrix, you can see different ways to approach that wave and we've all heard this when we talk about dialectical behavior. Therapy and even feelings of mindfulness are there to tell you to pay attention, no more, no less, and that's one of the things I want to convey to my clients, that it doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem when you know that dogs start to go eight. bananas and it startles me and I have that initial reaction of fear, it doesn't mean someone is breaking into the house.

I don't think they would do it with four dogs, but I have that initial feeling, well, that feeling just tells me to check the door. and I see what's going on, it doesn't necessarily tell me, but there's a problem, just like when a fire alarm goes off, it doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem, most feelings occur and escalate in about five to ten minutes. and they only continue if people decide to give them power by thinking about them or caring for them and thinking about what that could have been and thinking about all the past times that things went wrong, you know, if you give it more energy, if you give it more of your energy, it will enliven it.

Wave One thing you can do as a group is present a video of waves and surf videos are really great because they show you how to get in and get to the crest and then eventually get out and you just ask them to look at that spot and tell them the wind. that blows Everything on the water stirs creating the wave and the more wind, the bigger the wave, so ask them what their wind is, what kind of things fuel their wave of negative emotions when they start to feel angry, what fuels that anger and many more. times. come on when we get angry we start trying to figure out how to justify it so we boil down this whole litany I've been wronged you know I'm angry about this and oh I'm still angry about this this and this and this That happened two years ago so we want identify what they do.

That stokes the wave when there is not enough weight. When to sustain the wave, it dissipates and crashes against the shore. SoWe asked customers again what they do to reduce wind. So, to avoid giving more energy to that feeling, can you check to see if there really is a problem? Can you distract yourself? I refer you to the acronym for dialectical behavioral therapy. Improve and accept. Those are great distress tolerance skills that can help people get through it. shake it until it dissipates instead of feeding it addresses feelings so we're talking about feelings over and over again and this obviously focuses on emotions and I came up with this activity and if you get a bag with something really stinky and you know I talked of that in the book is dog poop because I happened to be writing that chapter one day when my dog ​​decided to express his displeasure in my dining room, but in any case, if you get a bag with something really stinky like a baby diaper, those are easy to get and if you don't have one of those, if you go to Walmart or something, you can get deer urine that hunters spray on each other and it stinks to high heaven to put in the center of the therapy room and label it. anger and negativity and it's going to be powerful as customers come in and see how they react if they're looking around to find it and get rid of it or if they're looking at it doing what the hell okay, you know that's okay, we.

I'm just going to observe and then process it with them. You know, I usually sit down and start processing earlier. I took it out of the room and said, you know, feelings are like this, what do you want to do with this thing that's in the middle of the room? I'll get rid of it and then point out that feelings are kind of like that smelly thing that is there to tell you to pay attention to get up and see where the bad smells are coming from and do something about it. necessarily means that there is a problem and you know with dogs, if you have dogs at home or babies too, you know, you never know, you know you will smell an odor and it could be that they have a dirty diaper or it could be that they just passed gas and they don't It's a big deal and you don't need to change their diaper, you just have to see how it goes, but if you let that stinky thing sit there, it permeates the whole house or the whole room and everyone who passes by. it's like Oh Pepe, so encourage clients to think about how negative feelings permeate their entire being when they're angry, what's that stinky thing in the living room like?

Whether that or carrying it around, I wouldn't pack something stinky. and carry it with you all day because it's unpleasant. You know you don't want to carry it with you, but it will repel other people. Well, think again if you have a client who is in a bad attitude or mood all day, how does that affect the way other people react to him or her? They'll probably say okay, I'll give John space today. He knows he's having a day, so these are the things we want to have. Think about why we carry our stinky feelings around doing this because a lot of times clients will say, you know I was angry all day yesterday or something, why were you carrying that feeling around with you and what could you do?

Instead, you know what triggered that anger, another kind of silly ER you can ask them to do. Resilience is the combination of commitment, control and challenge, it means that people understand that even when some things go wrong, there are many other things in their lives that they are committed to that will make their life worthwhile, rich and rewarding, so the raindrops on the roses focus on commitment. I want to remind people that there are still things in their lives that can make others happy, even if something else goes a little wrong. strange bright sunny mornings cool blue breezes blowing seeing my house clean or going out to mow the lawn Amazon packages left on the doorstep life on the farm who could want more when the dogs bark when the phone rings when I feel sad I just remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad, so keep the same rhythm of raindrops on roses, which people can modify to make it work for them because obviously I'm not a big fan of the telephone or barking dogs , it's a fun little activity for people to do it in a group or individually and then there's adulthood, we all have different things we enjoy and things we don't like and part of being happy is not just doing things that make you happy but also Minimize the things that don't make you happy.

I can't get rid of them, you know, I can't not pay the bills, yeah, I can't avoid doing laundry forever, you know, there are things I have to do, they're not my favorite, so I make a list of those things. that you just like doing because those things, if we do them and we do them reluctantly, how does that affect our mood versus how does that affect you? If you say okay, let's get this out of the way, make it so we can move on and encourage clients that they can flip a coin if they want or pretend for a week that every time something comes up that they don't want to do, they just take a breather. and they say, "Okay, let's move forward with this." and do it so we can move on to something more enjoyable and see how they feel differently, but encourage them to know those things that they don't like to do and even the little things like the dishes, you know if they don't like doing the dishes.

Yes, it's 15 minutes, but it's still 15 minutes, so what could you do to make it more bearable? Sometimes I do 15 because I didn't want to go out for a run this morning. I just wasn't in the mood, but I said, "Okay, I'm in." I'm going out. I'm going to start running. I'll do it for 15 minutes. Yes I still feel miserable. I'll go in most of the time. When we start, it's not that bad and we finish it. Compare the things you don't do. You don't like the things you like when I wash the dishes or fold the laundry.

I watch TV and that keeps my mind busy while I do mindless things and you can also give yourself rewards at the end so once I have a clean house. then I can go to the movies or, you know, whatever, it's a reward to encourage clients to identify the things that they like to do and that they compare with the things that they don't like to do, because that makes it much more tolerable when flying I hate flying I'm not afraid of it I just get bored I don't like to sit still for so long so I always download a bunch of books on my mobile device because that way I can read them while I'm in flight and I also bring it to my mobile device.

I have little games that I can play offline, like checkers, and you know, I have fun whatever it is, but it helps me get through the flight. Serenity is another thing we talk about and that is one of those happy feelings. The serenity prayer is used a lot in recovery circles, but you can make it more secular and you can simply say, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, so we want to talk about what serenity means if you think about a scene. serene or a serene painting, you're looking at it, what kind of feelings do you have to get clients into the moment and understand what serenity is instead of it's not just a word?

You know when I think of a serene painting, you know? I'm thinking about, you know, maybe a beach scene with calm water and you know it's calm and you know it smells good. Anything that encourages you to identify, to grasp serenity, means that you have the courage to change the things you can when you are serene. Well, I've done everything I can; the rest is up to the universe or my higher power or whatever takes care of the rest and the wisdom to know the difference, one of the things that helps people feel more desperate. and helpless is when they're trying to change something that's just not within their power, you can't change the weather, you can't change, you know, at least right away, you can't change, like local laws, you can't change, you know ?

There are many things that we cannot change, so we want you to identify what parts can be changed and then what is left, how it is handled and that is the wisdom, that wisdom to know what my energy is worth, what will be good. use of my energy if my house is ten feet above the property line getting angry about it won't do any good it won't move the house pushing it with my shoulder or even renting an excavator can take down the house but it won't take down the house well and if I knock it down then I'll get angry about something else, so I don't have the power to change that, so I need to look if my house is three meters high. the property line, what do I have the power to do?

And you know, maybe you just accept that you know you have to pay to have the property line moved and for that section of your neighbor's property or something that you don't. I don't know how they would handle it, but you have to focus on the things that They are realistic and can be changed in a short period of time, so have clients identify that list of stressors and irritants, identify which of them they have the power to eliminate. change and what they can do to change them and this is a fun activity to do as a group where you just have to start getting rid of the stressors and irritants and it could be traffic, it could be their boss, it could be you meet their two. a one year old who isn't going to be potty trained whatever it is, you just don't care to make a map of everything that comes out, just put it on the board, keep the pen on until the board is full and then you go back through it and start talking about which ones you can control which ones you can change and encourage people to really talk about it because a lot of times they'll start saying "I can change this" and someone else will say "no, you really can't." And many times that happens when you try to change another person.

You know, I can change the fact that my son is failing school, not necessarily if he doesn't want to study, so we need to look at what do you have the power to do those things that you can't change? Encourage them to brainstorm how they can change the way they feel about the situation. Can you just let it go? Do you know if you know that they break up a relationship and that person's relationship? He left, you know they abandoned them. Anything that may not be changeable, so how can you change the way you feel about that situation instead of continuing to feel devastated and lost?

Can you let it go? Can you see the positive side? You had good times. Together now you can spend good times with someone else. Do you know what are some optimistic ways you can see yourself? How can you view it as a learning experience or how can you eliminate a particular stressor from your life? So encourage them again to each type of The stressor is going to be a little different and then they have to do it by talking about it, it's great, we can have a lot of fun talking about it and coming up with ideas, but if they don't do anything to change the situation or change The way they feel about the situation will become stagnant, contributing to that hopelessness, hopelessness, helplessness and depression.

Encourage clients to make a plan to deal with at least one thing on their list each day and one of the things we used to do in recovery, one of the steps is to review the mistakes you've made and amend them when possible and yadda- yadda, but we would have people write a whole list of things that were stressful, guilt, whatever they needed to deal with they would put one on each card and they would put the card in a basket and each day they would take one or two things out of that basket and they would work on that and then that would be it and then the next one. day they would work on one or two more things because if you spend every waking moment working to eliminate this litany of made meringues, you won't have time to be happy, so we want to encourage people. you know, try to fix the things that they can fix or you know, change things to feel a little better about them, but you can eliminate all these negative feelings, well that's great, but if you don't have happiness there, what do you do? ? you're gone if you're not angry anymore and my grandfather went through a period like this after he got Parkinson's and you know his eyes were going and he had Parkinson's and he couldn't make his miniatures anymore and he was no longer a well-educated man, so that he didn't like to read and, like I said, his eyes were going anyway, so there were a lot of aggravating factors and he got very, very frustrated and he started to work, you know, to deal with that anger and frustration, but he didn't.

He found nothing else that made him happy, so once he started dealing with his stuff and realized, okay, you know, I have to accept this yada, yada, he was just flat, there was no happiness after that and it was very difficult to see, you know? He didn't have much drive to keep going, so we must add that we are happy to be able to do this by finding our inner child. This is a fun way to do it so ask people to think about what they like to do as a kid and this is another fun one that's awesome to do on a whiteboard because we can hear what other people did when they were kids and that They liked it even today, but I'm quite in touch with my inner child swinging, catching fireflies, painting, sliding. and slide, and you don't have to have an expensive one, you can get a shower curtain and a garden hose, board games, hula hoop, roller skates, knock knock, joke, those are mine and throw them out there, and whenwe do this activity in a group, always put mine in too because I want clients to recognize that you know there's a time to be serious and there's a time to let loose and ask them what their favorite show or cartoon was if you've ever been sitting in a group with people and talking about you know what your favorite cartoon was or remember the yakky doodle.

I'm a big hanna-barbera fan, so you know, I'll mention that or yogi or something and people are like, oh my gosh, yeah, I remember them. You know, I'm like I have the whole season on DVD, but yeah, I do and it's not for my kids, it's for me. Thanks, what was your favorite food? You know, it could have been spaghetti, it could have been grilled cheese, whatever your favorite food was. favorite songs and what was different when you were little that you miss now and you know it could be falling asleep, it could be not having to pay bills, you know whatever, so I want them to really have a depth of things that help them find that inner child and then encourage him to have a play date with his inner child.

You know, any day you choose, you will do these things, you will watch your favorite old cartoons, you will eat your favorite foods and you will do those things that you know. strange thing to do now that you're an adult and you're going to do things that will make you happy that day and you're going to make them do it for a whole day and then you're going to go to sleep, you know we're not going to process that day, why? Because many times, when people spend a whole day in touch with their inner child, it can be a little tiring and stimulating, but they will sleep much better.

The next day, when they start journaling about that activity, hopefully they will feel better. more energy, more relaxed, and they'll say, "Hey, this was pretty good, but you have to complete the entire sleep cycle." release the relax all the badi a good hearty laugh that relieves physical tension and stress for up to 45 minutes it has to be a really good laugh but you can do it think about little children you know there's a video of a little baby on YouTube, but think that looking at the paper is the sound of the paper tearing is funny and his caregiver is sitting there tearing paper and he laughs so hard and that cute baby laugh, abusive laugh, laughter, it stimulates the immune system, decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells. and infection-fighting antibodies to improve your resistance to disease, so when you're sick, guess what time to start bringing out those comedians and anything that makes you laugh triggers the release of endorphins, the chemicals body's natural ingredients that promote well-being. a general feeling of well-being and may even temporarily relieve pain.

Think about if you broke your leg or if you've had pain in the past or a toothache or something like that and you did something that made you laugh during that period while you were. laughing and maybe a little later you may not have even thought about your pain, you may have been focused on whatever was making you laugh, those are those endorphins and they help people feel better and laughter protects the heart and improves blood function. Blood vessels increase blood flow and protect people against heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems, so laugh, that's a good recipe.

The other thing we can do is have people do and I talked about the acronym DBT, get better and accept that we want to help people develop a distraction inventory because sometimes. It's just things that are unpleasant maybe they're waiting to hear back about a job interview or a doctor's will or maybe someone passed away and there's nothing they can do about it, I mean it's just that person is gone and it hurts and that's it. The pain is painful but we need a break, you know, we all need a break from it, sometimes we don't want to just sit and stew in it, it's like sitting in a bathtub for too long, you start to feel like you're pruning, so we want Encouraging people to find a way to distract themselves doesn't mean they don't hurt anymore, it just means they're giving themselves permission to take a break, so come up with some ideas about what you can do, go outside and look at the clouds and do pictures of clouds doing an art project cleaning I love cleaning it usually you know I'm obsessed with cleaning working out listening to loud music cooking reading a book watching something online whenever my husband gets stressed about something he goes online and starts looking at airplanes and blowing things up because that's his hobby and it just completely occupies his brain and he doesn't think about what's bothering him at that moment that he can't change encourage people to identify their happy place create a group happy place if you're doing group therapy , you know we can talk about what this is like and the reason we do it as a group is to help people go through this completely before they do it alone because a lot of times when people create their happy place.

They are like the complement to the beach. We want to enter there with all our senses. So I'll have them identified. Do you want it to be the beach? The forest. What kind of environment are we in? where we start and then I

guide

them through the activity and if they want to close their eyes, great, if they don't, that's fine too, they can focus on something in the room, but I want them to focus more on my voice and my thoughts. about what I'm saying, so I'll talk about okay, you're walking, we'll say the forest, you're walking through the forest, what are you here?

And I encourage everyone in the room to share what they hear and it's the birds, the breeze, the leaves blowing and I want to get multiple sounds because in the forest there are always multiple sounds, what do you smell again? I want multiples because you're going to smell multiple things and it could be good. It may be bad, but you are going to smell it and many times when the breeze comes you will smell something else on the breeze, so we talk about what you feel and it could be sunlight hitting your skin. I know what you're doing because it's wet in the woods on the path you're on it could be the cool breeze I want it I want to know what you feel I want to know what it feels like on your feet if you're walking down this path is it a rocky path or Is it a nice, smooth, clear road?

Encourage them to keep talking, keep talking about what it looks like and take notes the whole time they're there saying this, so we did. sight smell sounds touch there's usually no taste, but that gives us a lot more depth to our happy place, so we have this big happy place and I write it down and the next day when people come over because we just did it I did it this time, the next day, when people come in we'll do this activity and I'll narrate to them what our group happy place is like and guys you know I'll start talking and if I can use visual aids if I have sounds that I can add things to it and things like that.

Sometimes I do it just to improve the process, but I want you to see what a difference it makes in your ability to relax and accept the situation if you use all your strength. senses and that really helps them get into it and feel like they are there and then you want them to go home and each person write their own description of their own happy place and use all their senses and can use the model that we created in class to make sure you get multiple sounds and multiple smells and stuff and then you can also have people just start a project, what is it?

What's something you could start that would distract you when people are depressed? They often feel helpless and desperate and nothing makes them happy. If we add happy things we can buffer depression because it's hard to be depressed and happy at the same time, you can be depressed about something you know and that's a specific thing you can. feeling hopeless and helpless about it, that's true, but it doesn't mean your whole life you have to feel hopeless and helpless, so adding happiness, even if it's just laughter, can activate some of those neurochemicals that like serotonin and help people to feel a little. a little better despite what's going on here, when addressing unpleasant feelings, happy chemicals can be more effective and you know most clients don't care if it's dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin or whatever, just they want to feel better when we address these unpleasant feelings when we mitigate the anger when we mitigate the anxiety so that they're not completely flooded with adrenaline all the time, they start to have more energy, they start to feel better because they're not exhausted, they're not, you know, fighting. a lost emotional battle.

Interventions help you address unpleasant feelings and add pleasant feelings by developing a better feeling vocabulary. It's easy to identify the mistake, identify how you feel and address it, so you know, I really encourage or discourage in my groups happy angry sad I'm glad, okay, I want to know other words, do you know how you feel today? I feel euphoric, I feel dizzy, I feel whatever, but I want you to really dig a little deeper and try to find something more than just a superficial emotion and mindfulness helps people stay in the present moment so they stay in touch. with your feelings and don't let them fester like a dirty wound or the smell of dog poop in the living room, we really love you when you feel something is wrong to get up and check it and then choose from there what the right one is. best course of action to improve in the next moment if they need to do something or it will just disappear what other emotional interventions do you use with clients or others The question would be when you work with clients and you know for many years I never considered adding happiness as an intervention, but adding happiness is something that I do regularly now to encourage clients to, you know, try to find some of that icing it's important to find emotional release skills, that's very true because if you just have all those emotions tied up here, you know it's exhausting. hold on to all that energy and try to keep it contained, so you need to be able to do that. let it go the happy the sad the angry all they need to find ways to disperse them and deal with them one of the fun things about emotional interventions and a lot of the ones we talk about is that they can be fun and in a group You know, it can make the people laugh, share and support each other and Cassandra is right, everything we do has a purpose.

Crying is a great emotional release. Screaming from time to time, as long as it's not added to someone else, can sometimes be a great emotional release when I. I'm having a really bad day when I'm angry, well I used to before I hurt my shoulder. I would go out and hit a tennis ball against the wall, you know, and it was very cathartic for me. Did it solve any problem? No, but it allowed me to get some of that energy out for a second so I could get into my wise mind and figure out how to improve in the next moment.

You can have clients write down and keep a log, journal, or box of things that make them happy. and then when they're having a bad day, they refer to that or as Pat suggests, when something makes them angry and in recovery circles a lot of times we call this a god box, but whatever you want to call it, they put whatever made them angry. in that box, you know, they figure out what they need to do to deal with the situation, if anything, and then they put it in the box and that's their way of giving it to the universe.

Well, those are all great ideas and we are. I'm going to talk more like I said, I guess I do more with Jenga and beach balls at cognitive on Thursday. There are also games like Family Feud and not Trivial Pursuit, but which one is Alex Trebek? There are many different ones. Games that people are familiar with can be fun and a great way to get clients to hone concepts without feeling like we have to sit here for another lecture. Well, everyone, it's that time. It has been a great class. I really appreciate it. the fact that you are participatory and I will see you on Thursday and we are going to talk about cognitive interventions if you enjoy this podcast, please like and subscribe either on your podcast player or on YouTube if you want to attend and participate in our live webinars with Dr.

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