Dragon Ball Z Abridged: Episode 60 - Part 1 - #DBZA60 | Team Four Star (TFS)

hill* of a world. KRILLIN: BY. CELL: See? Even Krillin is doing his best! KRILLIN: Thanks for noticing! KRILLIN: Thanks for noticing! NGH! I really try! I really try! AGH! GOHAN: KRILLIN! BY. CELL: But none of them, boy... PER. CELL: But none of them, boy—NO PER. CELL: But none of them, boy, NOT A PERSON. CELL: But none of them, boy, NONE, share with you that vile trait that makes me vomit (!). You, Gohan… …you are a coward. GOHAN: No... I'm just a pacifist! BY. CELL: So a coward patting himself on the back. Congratulations, little one, you can be proud next to the bodies.

YAMCHA: HELLO-YAH! …Please don't break my arm. DAMIEN: Mmm… DAMIEN: Mmm… no. YAMCHA: My base

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career! JIMMY FIRECRACKER: Dear viewers, it looks like Cell has gone full septo-mom, with seven sinister spawns! Mr. Satan, do you have any plans to deal with these scary little children? These creepy kids?! These… These… prepubescent predators?! LORD SATAN: Uhh… …you see, Jimmy, those aren't really children. They are dwarves who are paid to fight on your behalf! And honestly, I bet they don't even get paid industry rates! I'm telling you, Jimmy, the way insignificant people are treated in show business... oh, it's downright criminal!

I'm going to go find your agents right now and give them a

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of me... ANDROID 16: Excuse me. LORD SATAN: Yes! ANDROID 16: Excuse me. ANDROID 16: I seem to be without a body. Would you mind lending me yours? LARRY / LORD SATAN / JIMMY: ANDROID 16: Why are you screaming? LARRY / LORD SATAN / JIMMY: JIMMY FIRECRACKER: Because you're a talking head! ANDROID 16: You too. JIMMY FIRECRACKER: That... JIMMY FIRECRACKER: That... is sharp, sir. ANDROID 16: I need one of you to give me a hand. I have to get close to Cell and the boy, so one of you will have to take me there.

I think I know a way to finally put an end to this madness. JIMMY FIRECRACKER: Are you crazy?! What makes you think we're going anywhere near that war zone? LORD SATAN: I will. JIMMY FIRECRACKER: Mr. Satan? LORD SATAN: I have a daughter at home, Jimmy. A girl the age of that boy out there. And right now, they're telling me that maybe she can save the world, and all I have to do is throw this robot's head a short distance away from that crazy killer bug monster? Sure... that may sound crazy... JIMMY FIRECRACKER: No, it's definitely crazy.

Larry? LARRY: I have been finding God throughout this entire experience. MR. SATAN: Well then, who better to leave it to than the world martial arts champion, Mr. Satan? And also, what did I tell you, Jimmy? …it's all a bunch of tricks. ANDROID 16: They are not. You could die. LORD SATAN: Do you have a mute button or something? ANDROID 16: Not anymore. YAMCHA: BY. CELL: 'Damien sure is giving Yamcha a beating.' YAMCHA: 'It's like a metaphor.' 'Ugh, he honestly doesn't deserve this.' 'Mm, but it's still funny.' GOHAN: Hey! BY. CELL: Hm? GOHAN: I'm going to… GOHAN: I'm going to… I'm going to… …r-rip off your head and… …r-rip off your head and… umm— PER.

CELL: Oh yeah? Come on, come on, you can do it. I believe in you. GOHAN: …and… GOHAN: …and… and defecate… PER. CELL: Mm-hm. MMM. GOHAN: …in your… GOHAN: …in your… lunch? BY. CELL: Now you're just embarrassing us both. Seriously, *how hard* is it to piss off an eleven year old! You would have to be a mess if he took a toy away from you! Meanwhile, your friends and family are being beaten into mulch, and all you can do is… …cry? And now he's *crying*?! *Are you serious*?! That's all: kids, put away your toys. We are going home.

GOHAN: Wait...! BY. CELL: And to be clear, I mean "kill them all so I can blow up this shithole and find something better to do." Waste of my damn Sunday. GOHAN: Wait! I'm just one step closer to the edge and I'm about to...! BY. CELL: Everything! BY. CELL: Everything! You tell me! BY. CELL: Everything! You tell me! He is pissing me off! You had your chance, boy! And in the end… …it didn't even matter. ANDROID 16: WAIT! ANDROID 16: WAIT! Oh. ANDROID 16: WAIT! Oh. Oh. BY. CELL: Hm? ANDROID 16: WAIT! Oh. Oh. Oh. GOHAN: Huh? ANDROID 16: Thank you for your help...

MR. SATAN: Don't name me...! ANDROID 16: …Mr. Satan. BY. CELL: Children, when you're done with them, take out and dismember *that* jester. LORD SATAN: PER. CELL: As for you, I'm surprised you're still... ...well, I was going to say "kicking", but— ANDROID 16: Gohan. GOHAN: Huh? BY. CELL: Okay, okay, okay then. Talk to him, Jesus. GOHAN: What... GOHAN: What... what are you—? ANDROID 16: Grow up. ANDROID 16: Grow up. Above. GOHAN: …Huh? ANDROID 16: You act like you're the only one suffering, but I think Trunks has some stories for you. And I can assume they all end with: "And then he died too." And before you

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t complaining about your father, again (and I get it), take a moment to consider that my father turned me into a soulless killing machine to kill your father.

And that doesn't even come close to the complete tragedy of parenthood that is Vegeta. VEGETA: Do you want to come here and say that? ANDROID 16: I'm a *head*. VEGETA: Then maybe you should leave it while you're at it! ANDROID 16: The cell phone was right. You think you're better than everyone else, but there you are: the good man who does nothing. And as evil triumphs and his rigid pacifism crumbles into blood-stained dust, the only victory he is given is that he remained true to his weapons. You were a coward... ...until your last moan. Of fear and love, I do not fear dying, but that everything I have come to love: birds, birds, and things that are not birds, will perish with me.

So please… …Gohan… …stop holding back. And hey, if we make it out of this, please lift my head... AND BEAT YOUR FATHER TO DEATH WITH—! BY. CELL: I'd say he's gone to a better place, but... ...we both know he never had a soul. ♫ Venit aevus ille ♫ ♫ Oh Messiah, oh Messiah ♫ ♫ Oh Messiah, oh Messiah ♫ ♫ YUDULIYA~VELE ♫ ♫ YUDULIYA~VELE x2 ♫ PER. CELL: Hm? ♫ YUDULIYA~VELE x2 ♫ ♫ YUDULIYA~VELE x2 ♫ ♫ YUDULIYA~VELE x3 ♫ GOHAN: RRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! ♫ YUDULIYA~VELE x3 ♫ GOHAN: RRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! ♫ YUDULIYA IYALIYA ♫ GOHAN: RRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! ♫ Feel it approaching ♫ ♫ an endless fear that grips you ♫ ♫ Feel it approaching ♫ ♫ revealing such an evil soul ♫ PICCOLO: …Gohan… ♫ I can't give up at the turning point of destiny ♫ ♫ Right now it's Do or go dead; my life is at stake and I will not flee ♫ ♫ By my power ♫ ♫ My, my, it's clear to me! ♫ ♫ My spirit grows and I will face this demon ♫ ♫ Whoa-whoa, with fiery energy ♫ ♫ The day of destiny has finally arrived ♫