Donald Trump is Drunk with Power

In the first there will be many primary election nights. Tonight was New Hampshire's time to shine. The polls have closed and if all goes well, we should have the final results of the Democratic caucus by June 28. I don't know how this caucus system works. It's confusing, but the reason they start them, the reason they start the primaries in Iowa and then go to New Hampshire, because it's important that we know first what the broader public thinks. The stakes are high for all candidates in different ways. Bernie Sanders is from Nearby Vermont, New Hampshire, is one of his strongholds.

He is expected to do well there tonight. Bernie had 12 delegates and no hairbrushes, and you know who else was in New Hampshire last night. The president was in Manchester for what he described as the biggest political event. rally in the history of New Hampshire only he says: I'm like that, you know it's true and the president fired up the crowd by telling sherry stories about his many imagined victories, including the State of the Union last Tuesday evening. On Tuesday I gave my State of the Union speech and I had someone behind me who was mumbling terribly mumbling Oh, it was very distracting mumbling, we did a little research and went through all the footage to find out who was mumbling behind him and I think We found the culprit here.

On this land, on this soil, on this continent, it's a good thing you still have that spark after all this time together, as you often do. Trump covered a wide range of topics, including the time in 2017 when a man shot Louisiana Congressman Steve Scalise. Scalise was at the rally with Trump, a very brave man, took a bullet, was shot, and got up. He was going to die that night. I tell the story all the time. His wife was crying a lot when she finally woke up. I told him okay. One thing I learned: your wife loves you, why do you say that?

Because she was devastated. I know many wives who don't get too angry. A little bit of fizz is mixed in with Michael Bloomberg now, who murdered Mulu wasn't on the ballot in Iowa or New Hampshire. Instead, he has like 15 commercials on every show on every TV channel, but that seems to be working according to a new national survey. Bloomberg is now in third place behind Bernie and Biden, but he now has a past issue that arose in 2015 with Mike Bloomberg touting his controversial stop-and-frisk policy. This is something that was aimed at young black men this morning.

Trump tweeted Wow, Bloomberg is a total racist, which is ironic because you know some people think the president himself might be a racist, although Trump quickly deleted the post which may have had something to do with the fact that he himself is a big fan of stop and frisk, well one of the things I do consider is that I would do stop and frisk. I think you have to do it. We did it in New York. it worked incredibly well and you have to be proactive you have to have in my opinion I see what's happening here I see what's happening in Chicago I think stop and frisk in New York City was amazing the way it worked Oops okay, Stop and frisk is also Trump's policy behind the scenes at his beauty pageants.

Did the president have much to say last night? So we slowed it down to half speed for tonight's

drunk

en Donald Trump poetry edition. The silly woman said the reptile with the smile you knew before. You, Trump, are absolutely

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on

power

right now, his close friend and advisor, Roger Stone, in case you don't know, was found guilty. It's Roger Stone convicted of obstruction of justice, lying to Congress, witness tampering in various fashion-related crimes as well, but that's it. Federal prosecutors yesterday recommended a sentence of up to nine years for Roger Stone and that did not please the president, so he tweeted that this is a horrible and very unfair situation, the real crimes were on the other side, since nothing happens to them, no.

We can allow this miscarriage. Justice says the man who got away with the first impeachment trial in history that had no witnesses, so Trump tweeted that last night and today we learned that the Department of Justice suddenly decided to reduce his sentencing request of nine years to something much less severe that is appalling even by Trump's standards and is unheard of that would in any way affect the sentencing of his friend Trump's tweets, suddenly his attorney general said, hey, you know what? Instead of seven or nine years, why don't we make it so there are no years?

Wouldn't it be better if the four federal prosecutors who worked on this case today resigned in protest? The president says he had no idea He says he didn't do anything He says he stays out of things to a point people wouldn't believe I think He also says he's known Roger Stone for years and that he's a good guy, so which is pretty cool because it looks like we're actually going to look at some of the things this nice guy has posted. He once said that Joe Biden has trouble keeping his hands off children. Eric Swallow was the congressman with Down syndrome and when former first lady Barbara Bush died, she wrote that Barbara Bush was a mean, stuck-up, nasty and entitled woman, bitter about her husband's long and fairly public affair.

Now I understand why Nancy Reagan hated her. Very much yes, well, it seems charming. I agree with that and look forward to the other prisoners discovering Richard Nixon's tattoo on his back. I'll tell you Trump Patrol right now, although it's totally that over the weekend he took that lieutenant off. Colonel and Alexander VIN Minh of the National Security Council and then he fired his brother who had nothing to do with anything because VIN Minh testified in front of the house that he fired the guy for obeying the law and then Trump said goodbye to his now former ambassador . to the EU Gordon Sunland, who happens to be one of his biggest donors, gave the president a million dollars.

This guy spent a million dollars to get fired by Donald Trump. He made the meatloaf for free, but I think he even got paid for it. Sandlin was a target. out of revenge because his testimony clearly explained that the president did to Ukraine exactly what the democrat said he did secretary perry, ambassador volcker and i worked with mr. Rudy Giuliani on the Ukraine affairs under the express direction of the President of the United States, so Trump, of course, is demanding his revenge against Psalm hland and I want to see how Gordon behaves, so we reached out to him and he had the kindly accept.

Join us tonight and I'd like to greet former Ambassador Solomon. Well, can I ask you why you're wearing an orange jumpsuit? Oh, it's not orange, Jimmy, they call it presidential skin tone, who calls it that? Where are you now? I'll give you a guess: it rhymes with Geronimo's gay want old, the president sent you to Guantanamo Bay, why because he's so angry with me, he's angrier than Joaquin Phoenix on a dairy farm? I'm so sorry to hear that, how are you getting along down there? Cuba, right, I'm fine, I mean, you know it's pretty hot in here, yeah, it's hotter than the cauldron that Kellyanne Conway uses to make potions, well, that's hot, yeah, make sure you drink plenty of water, Gordon, oh , I'm drinking gallons upside down. my nose, what oh no, they're waterboarding you, that's really not that bad, it's like hugging a kiddie pool with your face, yeah, what are the conditions like there?

Otherwise this place is so dirty the bed bugs have ringworm, that sounds dirty, yeah this place is dirtier than Ted Cruz's Pornhub Search Account, oh my god, well I'm sorry to hear that, well you know, one thing I wanted to ask is if you have seen Lieutenant Colonel VIN Minh and/or his twin brother, are they locked up there? Oh no. the president sent the cruise ship VIN apple tree coronavirus oh okay there is no room for them there are too many new detainees here we do it whoa who are the new detainees Mitt Romney's grandchildren yes which which children 300 Oh No, the old Tabernacle Choir Oh No, yes , we're squeezing here harder than Shaq in a bumper car well, they are, they're very cute, I'll say this is Donny, this is Maurice, okay, hit him again.

Sodor is very unfortunate. Oh, congratulations, you're congratulating me. meet my cellmate I'm the doula Paula Abdul oh my god hi he hates women he hates gays he's not training at home Oh so why are you congratulating him because Trump just gave them the Medal of Freedom oh ya I see, I see it's a rush limbaugh oh yeah yeah yeah we got that yeah we gotta go Jimmy it's Taco Tuesday oh okay that's fun I actually heard that Taco Tuesday means they roll us up in a rug and hit us with a bag of what I'm fine, I will let them go, that's Gordon Tomlin, everyone with happier news.

Tonight at Madison Square Garden they had the 44th Annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, which I guess is fun for people, but to me the sad part about that show is that none of the winners, even though They won because they don't know they're in a competition or even what a competition is, all they know is that their owners are lunatics and anyway I had all the excellent canines and their owners, this unlikely duo stole the show tonight , that's how it is. The obedience training really paid off. Hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel. Click below to subscribe to our YouTube channel or if you want to be that way with the adults.