Dave Chappelle - For What It's Worth part 3/4

I remember around 9/11, ja Rule was on MTV, we've got ja Rule on the phone to see

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Jos thinks about this tragedian. I want to dance. I'm scared to death. I want some answers. Ha Rule might not be right now think when something bad happens to me I've been the cradle like oh my god this is terrible because someone please find our rule grab this I can make sense of all this where the work is wrong charu I don't even know why People listen to me I would say anything like I've done commercials for Coke and Pepsi I don't give a fuck

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comes out of my mouth I just say what it takes what it takes that's what I say if you want to know the truth I can't even tell the surprise difference all i know is pepsi paid for the most recent so it tastes better its pretty much how the game works im just being real man its too much goo gah gah novus leveraged people dont know whos fake and whats real ya that's why bill cosby got in trouble look what happened to bill cosby bill cosby says it's a real thing and everybody freaked out why for having an opinion just because he was selling pots of pudding for the last few 40 years. big deal i spoke at my old high school and i told the kids straight up if you guys are serious about getting out of this ghetto you need to focus you need to stop blaming white people for your problems and i gotta learn how to rap now we'll play basketball or something let me get stuck you're stuck do that or sell crack that's your only choice that's the only way I've seen it work better get entertaining these white people let me get dancing it's gonna be somebody I just hope they listen the ridiculous city people love tv they love this you know like if you watch a movie say you're watching a movie and one character says another character says hey what's your number man what's the other cha? racter always says five five five five five five five you know why we have to do that because the stupid thing is people go to the movies and then go home and try to call him characters who resolved hello he's fake it's not his number and for To be honest, this is the worst time in history to be a black celebrity, but right now they're locking up all our stars for black slippers.

I know it was bad when Kobe got into trouble. we had locked them all in and Kobe kept me together thank God he kept his game together because if he was under pressure and getting like six points a game all of Los Angeles to me is to blame. Kobe was playing with his ass. he was playing like his freedom depended on it see that's the games and stuff trying to win that case on the court like the jets doing ball like playing for your freedom if i could just talk myself through it i'll chill you'll be fine man 'cause the public is still giving Kobe th the benefit of the doubt she's one of the few black celebs to get there not because she's just another celeb because you know the girls showed up with eight different sailors to the investigation you can't do that That's seven too many, that's a lot of semen. man, but you have Noah's, they are some kind of pants.

He was just trying to recreate humanity. Elsa, she's a collector. She has all the unsolved mysteries. a net slacker we've got the most devilish drawers of all time being a celebrity it's not the time to be a black star they lock it all up stars up black celebrities the witch hunt for us man damn it's all old jane's fault if ever since oj got away white people just locked up the stars one by one it's true and it's oh the days don't even fall it's our fault we celebrated too openly when oj was acquitted we should have kept quiet about it susan ain't guilty and oh it doesn't hurt it hurts burn that glove magoo that justice system burn it well my world all that why people wanted OJ's it's a bad city he spent over 12 million dollars just trying and the look on his face of my people when I was acquitted priceless priceless and that's why I don't stumble out of bed and I still have it I don't like it I don't trust it because one minute everyone loves you the next thing you know you're in front of that courthouse dancing and on top of that of a car just trying to figure out what's going on what i'm waiting for this the talent of this michael jackson is what makes me wonder every time wars get out of hand the kind of wrong or something is wrong the world in general is always these moments in history where michael jackson casually masturbates ok this is getting a bit ridiculous you're planning this ship you have meetings michael thanks for coming as you know michael the war hasn't gone as well as we hoped there would be a lot of mishap and the audience asks us a lot of questions of course Michael there is no good way to say this and all I know how to do is be direct so let me be direct we are going to need you to jerk off another kid.

Mike, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it would really help or maybe it did, who knows, who knows, that's what I mean, who knows who knows Mike, God and this little boy, no, that's it. the only reason I can talk about this is because everyone is speculating that everyone thinks he did it and I don't think he did I'm alone in this I don't think I did I'm not going to say it I don't think I will whatever you've done that's too strong let me say i reserve judgment until all the facts come out but so far from what i heard the kid said he was dying of cancer he was in the Make a Wish Foundation . he claims he had two weeks left to live and it was his dying wish to meet Michael Jackson come on man give me a break whose son is ten years old.

I don't remember the thriller where you want to meet Michael Jackson because honestly I remember the thriller and I just want to meet the snick Mike. I wouldn't break a date to meet him. I put a dead path. free it's like a band take me in a room with chubby checker i wouldn't want to run into that my last two weeks i'll show someone like that then the kid says he's going to michael's house that's where it all goes crazy . I don't know how you know he does everything you expect at michael's house they climb trees and roller coasters and ferris wheels the chef made cakes out of cookies and pies they were caressing them in drag sing kid and in the middle of all this childish activity for some reason mike took out some wine and some pills and sucked this kid's dick folks it pains me to say it and the kid had the nerve to call that abuse he's a good host hey what do you want more? if not, do you want a blogger to bring a glass of a great drink to my frie?

The nd house Bunch of rovco riding my dick sucked Mike must be confused like I brought you to my house I pinched you I sucked your dick and that's how you repaid me this is your wish that man thought you were down in two weeks what happened that Little friends, I've been a cop for a year and a half, she's wrong every time I see you, every time this is, I shouldn't even say it wouldn't be ironic if they found out through this case that she's a cure for cancer. michael jackson was sucking your dick sometimes but he could have powers like green mile and all the kids say please jeez never again i really didn't appreciate it and at least we studied your spit please mike then he stopped , although this does not. for and the only reason i could talk about mike is because he's a weirdo he's a weirdo that's why people let you talk because if i bring up catholic priest kids it would be a big deal but when michael jackson he does it's okay 'cause he's a damn face it's all cut up but ju Remember when you look at that thing he calls his face he did it for you somehow, somehow he thought maybe it would help, maybe people would love it I'll like it better if I become a white guru like creech, I don't know. what is it but he did it for you and i appreciate the gesture michael jackson if you're watching us i appreciate that gesture and i want you to know that all the same

chappelle

understands because you want to know something i'm doing a surprise job yes nothing important you would never know otherwise tell you what is something i'm unsure i want to work on if you should know i'm getting botox on my bowls to get these wrinkles out finally happy i should smooth out her balls no i can't wait i can't wait and i won't stop there that it's just phase one baby I'd be like Bob Vila these old balls I'm fixing them I'm pulling all my hair out I have to Make room.

I know I have to make room. I'm going to tattoo a gangster face in mean expressions like this. When he let me grow two hairs on the bottom so they have beards like me, then I go to the beach and look for fools of balls. Miss, I don't mean to be rude, but the sucker balls excuse me, miss, relax, you didn't even let me finish. Suck these balls. Oh my gosh those balls are as soft as eggs. a million times ma'am that's how it always ends yeah i'll suck those balls all our stars all our stars our Kelly peed on his victim I know it was rough but I want to say again I can't even judge Art Kelly, in the first place Instead, we don't.

I don't know if these accusations are true and if they aren't if you want to know how I feel about it. Honestly if a man can't pee on his fans I don't want to be in showbiz anymore because well that's why I have in the game baby I have dreams too you guys are confusing the problem why are you busy worrying if our Kelly even piss on this girl at night, you're not asking yourself the real question that america must decide once and for all and that question is how old is 15 really, oh that's a good question, that's a good question , I'm not saying a person is that smart there's going to be a 15 that's not what I'm saying man but I'm saying 15 to me is old enough to decide whether or not you want to be mad I mean it's me if you can't making a decision like that when you're 15 and you just give up because life is so much harder than that.

I make tougher decisions all the time. stop peeing in the front row they ain't gonna have to calculate and think about how i feel about this i agree they just move