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Cult Witness: The Dangerous World of Cults | Free Documentary

Cult Witness: The Dangerous World of Cults | Free Documentary
there comes a point in our lives when we might feel that there's something missing I was reaching that point when I was 19 years old Who am I and what is my purpose in life shortly after it was as if the sky had heard my call I met someone who offered guidance help and understanding for the next ten years I left a

cult

experience that wasn't fulfilling but brought a lot of pain and suffering instead why didn't you just leave you might ask well I eventually did but leaving a

cult

cult witness the dangerous world of cults free documentary
is one hell of a struggle in my case leaving wasn't a conscious decision but the result of my survival instinct some members of the

cult

drove me into the forest they were giving the order to punish me to threaten me and to break my will again is it possible to make sense of all this for the next three years I went on a journey on this journey I talked to experts and former members of

cult

s hoping to find some answers this is Jill I was amazed by the fact that she seemed to understand
the things I was talking about how long is it since you left two years a little bit more than two years so not long really yeah yeah it's it's a new life it's wonderful it's like an awakening from a bad very bad dream now I say it it isn't long because in the grand scheme of things two years is not very long to get over an experience like that mm-hmm but I guess you're still on that journey we're genetically programmed to be group animals we most of the time that
human beings have been on the earth we've tribals and lived our lives and small hunting and gathering groups the holy grail of researchers into

cult

s was to find what was called the

cult

ic personality or the cull neural personality and many many tests were devised and measures were devised to try to find those traits that would help us predict who was vulnerable seduced by or influenced by a

cult

and those efforts all ended in failure the conclusion one could draw from that is that we're
all potentially vulnerable to

cult

s there was a friend at college who actually introduced me to a man an Asian and a Vietnamese his name was fool he described as a master as a spiritual master and I should absolutely meet him because he could really help me on my to find my path so I was interested you curious I was curious yeah they welcomed me very well I was atmosphere was really warm friendly and almost phoric you know and I felt quite comfortable with them there was lots of food Chinese
food special things that I never had before my life you know seafood and all that kind of stuff it was really interesting with quite a different

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so when so before you met this this master you were kind of in a in a state there's a lot of teenagers are written asking questions searching for the meaning of life and where they're going to go in life and so on and somehow this spiritual person that the idea of a spiritual person who might help you find that pathway was very appealing
to you and then I guess the the particularly the warmth and the love that they showered you with there is actually a phrase that psychologists use it's called love bombing which you often find when people are trying to get new members into their into their group because it's very flattering and it it's very affirming makes you feel wanted and loved and and in ways perhaps you know you haven't experienced before this is Jim and Judy Burgin back in the 80s they were the owners of
a successful publishing company in New York City back then Jim and Judy had no idea that an author in the company was one of the leaders of a

cult

it was called gentle wind project one time we made the mistake of asking her for help with one of our children because she was a counselor and the help that was bestowed on us was a little bit weird the help was based on a piece of our son's hair we've got a little piece of his hair and sent it to her and she took this hair and did a reading
about the soul of our son on the tape she referenced that the information was coming from another source that she referred to as the teacher the teacher was telling her this stuff so we listened to it and it seemed dead on knowing our son and so we were sort of enraptured by that and so that we then once that happened we wanted more information from this teacher and so we got tapes done of ourselves what happens in that situation is somebody is really interested in you now I can't spare too
much hair but I did send it and so now I've got this information and what's captivating is this person really knows the real Jim the teacher knows the real Jim and there's somebody out there teacher in the spirit

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who knows me and it's interested in me so it's very flattering this is information for Jim Burgin and the date is June 25th 1987 Jim Burgin is someone who could be thought of as moving spiritually by traveling his way through evolution that is that he is
someone who tends to take side roads and excursions when he's on the main road he feels quiet and he feels calm inside and when he travels on his own excursions he feels confused he feels that his life gets chaotic and it gets overwhelming you would say that this is a period for him now to make a decision about which way he wants to go and how he wants to use his resources here we have a metal ball sitting on the table let's suppose that is the person the object of the in front of the
influenced attempt the ball is about to be influenced let's say my hand does the influencing agent it's the one it's going to lead to change and in behavior in position of this target now to start with let's say that this is what we call dependent influence this is what we call dependent influence here you see the ball moving a ground across the table its speed its direction its manner of movement is very much affected by my hand it's socially dependent on my hand and this is
what we mean by socially dependent influence on the other hand let's try another form of influence my hand will influence the movement of this ball over the table but now it continues to move in a direction which is unaffected by my hand no matter what I do it doesn't change it goes in its own way that's what we call socially independent change one of the things I've noticed about

cult

members is that have been very idealistic young people and very open to learning that is
they'll meet someone who seems older wiser perhaps and be open to what that person has to say to them about a better way to live or what's wrong with the

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so really the ones that I've seen have been young people to admire they're among the best of the students that I taught the ones who got involved with

cult

s and what happened is that once they were open in a beautiful way someone who didn't have integrity use that openness to the students detrimental so there's
something to me that

cult

members have in common the young ones which is this beautiful openness to wanting to learn the one thing that attracted me most I guess is that he said that I would have a really great or huge potential right so he said like I'm seeing a lot of potential in you hmm but it was it was a part yes you need to hmm you know try to find try to live spiritually and more spiritually you know we need to be on the right path and obviously the right path was to be with him with
him yeah that was really clear and so if ever you felt perhaps unhappy with something or a little bit troubled in spirit it would be because you were not on the right path anymore at this age I was also really passionate palest and musician so it would be it could become a really famous musician you know of course if his help that's kind of encouraging you to be dependent on him isn't it absolutely yeah because you could be a great pianist as long as you follow his pathway you will be
happy and contented and fulfilled in your life if you follow him this is Leah her parents joined a

cult

and she was 11 years old the

cult

had several names including Jana's project my name ohter devasya of there so hey I love knowing in Hull tinium dream valve you see ultimately and so does normally mentally anglish nice Makiki hot own thing was he fancier or foolish was an escape you had the sitter Anna Cooper phalloidin Kenji LAN thought the the 10000 vehicle in certain of the same
sucker's and there are many people who hear the Celtic message who hear a message and they're just leaves them entirely cold and they look on and in wonderment it's you know how can anybody believe this stuff it's so obviously drivel that that that they can't they can't imagine how anybody can believe it and at the same time the person another person just hears it and there were ready to just give up their entire life noctus imbecilic on many Eltham Super Kings rights on
the václav via Virtanen - what's all this alpha losing house for cows via Kingdom and Bhutan the shop and Buddha Daniel eldest knishmas Oh Julie missin and the sphere the sphere no Chanel escape mister Hadj seen wearing this fewer the Hispano the suave english their their justice all hot as the hindus SML so dr. Shiva system Garcia I know I have yeah cadets I assume be seen in get flicked on Yamanashi God's awesome party and we called him tubby and in the name tubby it displays some of
cult witness the dangerous world of cults free documentary
the characteristics of

cult

leaders because they will generally portray themselves as being just regular people you know just a regular guy however there's the information about this regular guy the mantle that this person carries an int uh B's case was that he was sent from another place and he was a spiritual messenger and that he was sent to in so many words save the

world

my second or third weekend there for instance I was helping to make a salad and I was told that he was coming
over for dinner and suddenly there was this whole thing about being so careful about the salad as if I wouldn't know how to make a salad I mean I was in my late 30s but you're treated like a child by a called the depe know how to answer kutis curfew beauty especially after an solenoid methi Matar field and at anglish before all of the detail of punk Tiffin and answer Luton cry funkin I went over in a workshop and he was there and he would do this thing with his fingers you know which is
of course a hypnotic thing - oh yeah you to get the pointer finger yeah and I bet it's going around in circles and it's maybe pointing at your abdomen and it will feel something really strong and at that time I was really hard translation like an energy that would feel inside the body and I didn't even now I don't know if that was kind of hypnotic suggestion yeah it was very strange feelings and I thought he must be a master - master wouldn't dat power our sin and economic
partner touched as well also and me too intellect Lenten after bring the emotional England John Miller who's you know ugly and fat is directing there may be four or five women there may be two maybe I never had a one-on-one with him but I have since heard that it did take place which is disgusting so but he would direct who was gonna be with whom and what they were gonna do the imported oil thing does Arnold Hudson waters their tepee no aunty he Mamiya Affleck some kind of me switch today
unfeeling Mia complimented tomorrow this one's ODB unfair does justice hurt hurt Alicia off the cell to say of Amamiya the sky freshman me who thought finish Misha of an uppity with him and los zetas stirs so some finish unreasonable in the entwicklung is some somehow Howard internal host rights and finish mothers and and once in a critical come file him found our vehicle there be no dev of illusions here health all see the talk whatever may ask about as a human to make expression given
water for medium and anglish a stick by Robert Atwater the sitting on the sky fuel had escaped cocaine under on vague else L Smith afters Angeles and only helped angry hostess finished in satsang decently tomorrow does the study said walk now class through the system be the ALF garbage or that easily Intuit we allah dick is the involved enlightening so Visentin people in vehicle its inclusion in police in central america kill undetermined circuit zone of real encounter this actual video filters
ish finish yahwah absolute leader Stanton top Nikon and after an incited artist asbestos mousette so silent ich Volta deny yourself I'm reading other micelles cloudless injustice fear of the Sicilians in hot and position so to some foster house Leon come if we go into a

cult

we go with a prior set of beliefs that have been inculcated in us over many many years and in order to make room for the new beliefs the new loyalties the new attitudes of the

cult

before they can be programmed on us
the old beliefs have to be washed away this is Seles she was born into the

cult

children of God she left at the age of 23 the

cult

was founded by David Berg after Burke's death in 1994 Karen sir be known as Queen Maria took over leadership of the group David Berg very early on wrote a letter called one wife where he said that there were no small families and that parents weren't to love their own children it was all the children were everybody's and that he was he was the father
Maria was the mother and then everyone else was their children that's why children of God yes he said that the Bible had only one law the law of love and that there were no other lost so everything done in love was okay and he applied this that sounds wonderful it sounds idyllic but in reality the way he applied this was with sex with children that that was all right because he said we're doing it in love so this led to widespread abuse certainly for myself I was sexually abused and the
children that were around me by the adults of course we weren't told it was abuse it was they were sharing God's love with us and we were to be unselfish and to share love with them so love was actually it was something that actually hurt you when I was invited to go to Queen Maria's home I was about 21 20 21 years old it was a huge honor because not very many people saw Queen Maria no one knew where she lived or even what her real name was what she looked like so it was all very
secret very hush even the date of when I was going cuz they didn't want and he wants to know like the airplane time that it left just in case anyone could try to figure out where the destination room might might be so they said we'll just pack I put out the ticket and it said Porto and I had no idea where Porto was and because it didn't say the country anywhere and so I got on the plane and even the first hour and a half hour in the fight I still was speaking about where I was going
quite a large house with about maybe 10 12 bedrooms and everyone lived in their bedroom and worked in their bedrooms you had a bed you had your desk right there and a computer and that was pretty much your

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in that room there was a certain wing of the house that was where Queen Maria stayed and her top her someone who took care of her full-time and her secretary and there was a curtain sort of dividing that wing of the house and you weren't allowed to go there at any at any
circumstances at all the biggest shock for me going to Queen Maria's home and seeing how things worked behind the scenes was realizing that the prophecies that we received the way that they were got and when we read then they were from Jesus and we were taught to respect them as the words of the Lord but when we were there I realized that Queen Maria would ask questions and she would tell us what to get in prophecy and that those were you know she had her agenda and her plan and she never
got prophesies herself she obviously she said well I don't have enough faith for me but she made everyone else get prophesies and part of my job there was getting prophesies and I didn't even believe in the prophecies I got yeah get this right I mean you all got your computer your room your desk yes and what you do the entire day is writing prophecy for the entire

cult

entire group throughout the

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yes yes that was that was what we were there for what kind of prophecy did you write
for example there was one prophecy where she asked me to there were there were followers or people who wanted to school their children more and there was a question about whether maybe they should go to schools and so she asked me to get that but she was saying well I don't think that you know basically she'd tell you what to say you know and so I sat there and but actually in my prophecy I said that actually it would be really good if the children had more schooling and learn to read
and write and I sent it to her and of course that was never published lord acton once said power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely I guess I'd agree with that and if we change it slightly power may corrupt and power absolute power may corrupt absolutely it depends on the effects that it has on the power holder and often it's true the power holder can be very much affected by the power that he uses or she uses as such there's nothing negative about social power as some
people would describe it it can be positive or negative you can use it for good purposes or bad purposes so we defined social power as potential influence the ability of a person to affect change in another person so he said you need to take your your life in your own hands you need to go work you know earn your own money hmm which essentially is not it's not a bad advice but of course I had to part of this money have to give him him as a recommendation for the seminaries for what I have
for what I was learning learning yeah yeah so you were you still living at home yes point I was living maybe after one year a friend in that group and I moved together mm-hmm yeah but that was arranged by him right by the by the Guru mmm it's kind of closing the boundaries isn't it it's kind of beginning to put a fence round around you and and him and the rest of the group I'm cutting cutting you off from from the rest of the

world

the

world

from your family and friends yeah yeah
cult witness the dangerous world of cults free documentary
because that's how

cult

s will control they'll they'll look to control everything that is in your life your time what even what you eat whether you you know when you go to bed when you go to sleep what you do during the day some sometimes they'll deprive people of sleep yeah that was that was later if that was later happen as well intense seminaries talk hearing him talking all night long hmm without sleep go to school afterwards though yeah that happened all the way at the
beginning the sleep deprivation the confessions the alternation of love and and and disdain and various other techniques that you find repeated in one

cult

after another after another whether they're religious

cult

s or political

cult

ure psychological

cult

s they all seem to find their way to the same bundle of of techniques it's very important to they become not to become master over over the material

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over the body or inside so you have to work hard and like discipline your body and
your minds release like a meditation work is like a meditation so go to work and you also resolve your karma whilst work there was also a good point you know a good trick to say when you work and earn money and give me that money by the way yes you are gonna yea decrease your karma which means decrease your guilt towards whatever universe so it's a win-win situation you go work and the whole thing about the rewards and punishments because that's kind of what you're talking about you
know I'll be pleased with you is what he was saying I'll be pleased with you if you do what I say and when when you when you according to him when you strayed from whatever path it was he wanted you to follow then he would withdraw his attention mm-hm that meant that that love that you felt at the beginning was actually very conditional it was conditional on you doing what he wanted you to do the law also dassault a cliche Liam from guitar but that of a human systemic fearfully crucial
to diversify and of the farm God's and harmony mama asked about scope Novotny bow should I ask about also when Hadassah forget about it owned the opinion one of the indicator that also from females you know coordinator da-jung one would assume Asheville and flocks our cousin Clym a Cessna 182 cake a Filipino Alice a miso and come from invar on the sward an email in may be declared for Humanity's and flick apart on for sorting V for English here until vistas for infiltrators experiment
unfamiliar design a humor hops water ballast water among mayor of the after PDF in itself on phone be no often sophistication in the theater via crystals and clan Ascona cry shutter on from the service your own DVD to begin Hirsch the Vantage Mayfield oubli one of the of the main aspects of this kind of leaders is his omnipotence that means omnipotent and how many buttons is a trait of personality is my self and grandiose I'm the best because I'm the unique in possession of the truth
this is one of the main traders in some sense then to establish a perverse relationship with the followers yes I will introduce myself into your mind and later I will remove your history your relationship you're dying to suck it out more and more and more I mean here is this kind of relationship of the parasitic type I absorb all your life and that's mine and you heard nothing there was a prophecy given where there was inaccurate information given it was a prophecy that supposedly said
that Elvis Presley's wife was in heaven whereas she's useful she's still alive obviously well Queen Maria doesn't even look on the internet that she relies on people to give her information she's been so cut off from society for so long right we thought of these other

cult

s as being weird you know they don't get it and you know the reality is the strangest

cult

that's out there and we were we were being very sophisticated and you know we are exactly the same as these
guys with the shaved heads and the tambourines you know dancing on the sidewalk you know you know Here I am with my button-down shirt I am no different than some ninny but you know you know looking for money on the streets of New York and singing hey my family never knew what I was going through we had very little contact throughout these years now they support me in every way they can this is my sister Teresa together we are visiting my lawyer in Zurich among each - ah who was the relative
fresh fish as an acrylic see the Hamilton discount so if theta I love it sailor does ice tea huh mr. Hitchcock to indicate on her name then I lose of Kafka excited mr. Gajic safe to show you another own religion meet technical Pergamos excellent so for her column yards to a car not Amish area to me ho holy native town even with power Aleksei be honest I'll have a potato during Hanukkah miracles cliff relate to this briefly though a materially work boss each posse of us Shinto there I'm
veneer the hundred varnish corrupt let me sum that beautiful curls enclose you're married to the phone component or them thank - but yet of a more evident soup God he had a sock from fallacy of division order yes to finish a thought investigates maja but up ahead tomorrow sumbitch bill made for a second also to be a fighter managed to the ocean film sheet imagine until default rate among procedural Roxie a team et cetera sure people like he came onto a crypt hot air in intercept marked see
also cash the key public then had the great city visit awake news people support the neck marked well not a mirach theater cattle six in Dimona own critical dioxide as he just died from Cody at all Osmund animal the HT fossa to vanish woman suffered over the album's vintage after tan hole not to live in extremists our own aaseesh off in a group stcp near existing the shift that I know seats saw become Talia was about six Reaper hands iam is really full acre see hand in this place diversity
on Steve moment or they had a spirited I heard out yonder sheets of tile name for the for the new seminar had built right it was it's placed PCR with everybody on top if that had somehow of metal out the nipple Rock Creek can what it's a half man he calls the copier gauge this disciplinary system not either this is fringed a I don't know meeting she did she own of McCrae detector Darcy she'd started as oxes under the siege Houghton interact expire concede for links and ow and
they've stone the Long Beach Bash told along Sudan the better meet Danny Thomas Norma was a beast to slay what was the other aunty em I sounded water seemed as a forward to it they don't believe him at the fish market self ridiculous mark up a Buick dr. DeSantis Mahana Mitch don't alarm only about a story and what's long at hammer merciful to talk sets was really photo the ministry phone opposite is her legacy begins testers very busy who sits Carville he had to which comes about
pit area was now Mercator songs globe talk suppose when it coughed our meaningful theory throwing that is a stomachache no many reasons I were together said alleged thief of the tire look not in a sock Cosby cloth oh it's in everything always to remove it for an hour for money for selfish take orders any hits a fifth Percy there's something very basic too about the way the

cult

sets up a

cult

ure they come from the same root and in the

cult

ure some things become okay that really are not
okay like harming people abusing people often the leader of a

cult

puts himself or herself above good and evil says the normal rules don't apply to me and because of that they get away with doing things that in a normal human context would be seen as absolutely wrong ecstasy comes from a Latin ex stasis standing outside yourself there's there's nothing more ecstatic than a large group feeling the same thing people get this sometimes watching sports and there's a

dangerous

side
to too we see that Hitler's Germany ordinary people doing extraordinarily horrific things they were outside themselves so there's there's some there's a continuum in our human experience of these things and when they're bound read there can be in dance in sports there can be these wonderful moments of ecstasy and the

cult

experience can be very ecstatic they ended up beating me and he had a revolver a gun and we were at his at his home in France in their living room all
together just the functions of five of us and he would take out the bullets you know and would slow slowly slowly put putting the bullets in the gun and say yeah just come on come on say what you want to say and slowly put in the bullets in that revolver hmm and suddenly got very angry huh he would come to me and put the revolver on my head saying you know I'm gonna kill you right now after at this very moment because you're you're just you're not worth to live so he said put
pointing to evolve room and well it went on like that you know four hours came back to me and pudding you know pointing at me and go back to his desk and come back and yelling at me all the time so eventually maybe five o'clock in the morning at this meeting I signed an agreement at I owe him three million so that's an incredible story yeah and so would fill up the water at the bath with what the bathtub with water and tighten my arms and legs and just put my head's in it for I
don't know just 30 seconds take it out and again and again and again for one hour and that's just so that's I can't imagine but something more exhausting mmm you just want to die I just don't wanna live in that moment anymore and that's also an experience that really breaks you what breaks you inside you're not any thought of opposition to that environment really drawing literally in the water you're not you not have to you don't have to the strength or the
power to to resist so you accept anything and and that's how they broke me every male or almost every day or every week they broke me again so I couldn't so this this enforce couldn't emerge my will to to to go I couldn't emerge even so almost every last half-year they're almost everyday they managed to broke to break my will that's not him it's him I can't recognize my own brother anymore I can't recognize my own brother anymore strange feeling yeah he's
just come up to speak to me Graham but he was so nervous he dropped it was very nervous with me on the phone yes so what do you expect um I don't really know what to expect because roaches here as well you know and he's my brother and it it just feels slightly weird you know I mean Graham's my brother too but he's different it does feel very odd you know giving a paper in front of the people that I'm talking about it's also we worked out you know it's time we've
been together yeah in the same building for 48 over 48 years when I was a child I believed that having roller skates was evil we made this assumption because I didn't have any my

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seemed to me to be a dichotomous one not Technicolor at all the things I had I assumed were good the things I didn't have I assumed were evil it wasn't until a few years ago that I discovered that my parents actually didn't regard rollerskates as evil they just didn't know I wanted some I was
born and raised in the Brethren and left when I was 15 when my parents left in 1960 now you can work out how old I am the venn leader of this group of the group James Taylor jr. had brought in a doctrine that stated we should not eat with those not in fellowship with us to make this clear as I was still at school this would have meant I could no longer have lunch with my school friends now it's this doctrine of separation that former members say has led to many diffi

cult

ies now children need
to play with other children in order to develop social skills here are some quotes from leavers about their experiences of friendships and how they now feel they lack the necessary interpersonal skills sandi talks about the fact that in in the brother and she didn't learn how to make friends she just sort of inherited them so you don't learn the rules of friendship making and I can speak to that actually because I have a real struggle in knowing what the word friend means I actually find
that really hard there is a continued stress for many people from the division of family children not able to see their parents parents not able to see their children husbands and wives separated I met several fathers last year who had left the group and they were not being allowed to see their children and I would like to thank if all of you those of you that have been in contact with me for being so supportive because I haven't just got one brother here I've got two brothers here my
other brother is back there and I love you dearly Roger and I miss you like crazy and this is the first time in 48 years that we three have been in the same room together when I saw him sitting there in the audience it was really quite unnerving because I'm used to talking to a group of academics not people from my own family especially not somebody I haven't seen for a long time so it was a bit diffi

cult

but I think what I did I had to kind of find a way of bracketing that off so that
I could continue with the task which was reading my paper but the word times when it got very very diffi

cult

and I was quite grateful that I had the the paper written out because it meant I could that was kind of like a security blanket in a way so it helped me kind of control than the nerves a bit because he was sitting right in front of me he wasn't even to one side so whenever I looked up I could see him there when he came up to me at the end at the front just behind the desk there it
felt very strange because normally when people come up to me after a paper they've come up to ask me questions but he came up and it was as if you know the family had never been apart he was he was kind of wanting to know how things were and you know we were sort of talking about the sorts of things families would talk about you know how's your mother how's your daughter how your children getting on and it really felt almost surreal as if some kind of time-warp had suddenly happened
and as if the the past 48 years just kind of hadn't been there he seemed strangely very pleased to see Jane my daughter Jane he gave her a huge hug which and that was the really the only spontaneous piece of behavior and speech that I actually saw you know for him to sort of I introduced into Jane and instantly there was this kind of sudden hug from him this year has been quite a journey for me as I believe it has been for you too going out of the

cult

was like an opening in unknown

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and really at first it was a kind of struggle it was a big struggle I thought I was really ashamed about my experience I didn't want to talk to anybody and also I didn't know what to believe because there was nothing to believe in it to believe in anymore so I had to discover that many people actually had similar experiences and that was quite helpful to know that to know that it can happen to anyone it's something that is innate in humans if you're in the group of people we
might feel we might experience moments of ecstasy and in these moments we might get lost that sense of self it has to remain and you knew you don't you shouldn't kind of relinquish your own power just to another human being even when they're helping you I'm almost immune to get trapped again and yet I know that it is such a subtle process and requires lots of awareness mmm self-awareness that feeling in yourself in which you are grounded in this moment which is all the reality
there is this moment there's no future that's a story there's no past its present that's a story and there many different stories of the past but this now which is all we have is also extremely wonderful and precious and when you can be in that present the

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opens up Judy and I started this jail project where we go into the jail and we work with inmates or we call them jail residents that's doing something real you see and so we've now moved in that direction we were
trying to provide real service as as opposed to nonsense with plastic healing instruments and spirits and all that and so we we try to provide a real something real for people and it's quite it's a startling contrast to what we were doing what we do together as a couple throughout my journey I have met some brave and wonderful people sharing our stories has helped me come to terms with what happens in my life for me there's only one thing left to do for the first time in three years
and going back to call a small town in northern France I want to see if the Guru still lives at the place I find out he disappeared wherever i go i take my past with me but it will not keep me from living my life you