Core Beliefs, Rules and Assumptions in CBT

In cognitive behavioral therapy we typically focus on our current thoughts and behaviors and the relationship between these thoughts and behaviors and our moods and how we feel, but where do these thoughts and behaviors come from? Why do you and I have different thoughts about the same thing? situations and why you and I act differently in similar circumstances. One of the main reasons is that we have different sets of

core

beliefs

. Core

beliefs

are our deeply held underlying beliefs about ourselves, the world we live in, and other people we live in. They influence how we interpret our lives. experiences and, as a result, affect the way we think, act, and relate to others.

Core beliefs are the polarized lenses through which we see things, each of us with a slightly or, in some cases, very different shade. Now the basic objective of CBT is to learn. change the way we think and act to change the way we feel Core beliefs are important because they determine how we think and act, so if we can change our

core

beliefs, changes in the way we think and act will naturally occur. , which in turn help change the way we feel Now, not all core beliefs are negative, but for now we will only look at negative core beliefs because these are the ones we want to be able to change to help us feel better about ourselves .

Fundamental beliefs about ourselves fall into three categories. Helpless core beliefs are things like: I am weak. I'm out of control. I'm a failure. I'm not good enough. I'm a loser. I am not worthy of being loved. Core beliefs are things like I am unlovable or unlovable. I am unwanted I am not attractive I am different from other people I am destined to be alone and worthless Core beliefs are things like I am worthless I am bad I am a waste I am toxic Negative core beliefs about the world are things like the world is dangerous the world It's not fair life is too hard things are against me the future is hopeless and negative core beliefs about other people are things like the people I love will always end up leaving me you can don't count on other people people will always let you down people only care about themselves it's not safe to trust other people others are behind me now you can probably see how holding these types of beliefs could affect the way we think, act and interact with other people, but between our core beliefs and In our thoughts and behaviors, there is another level called

rules

and

assumptions

, which are also known as intermediate beliefs because they are located between our core beliefs and our thoughts and behaviors.

We can imagine the relationship between the

rules

of fundamental beliefs. and

assumptions

, thoughts and behaviors as if our minds were a tree. Core beliefs are the roots that anchor us and supply water and nutrients through the trunks and branches that are like rules and assumptions to the leaves from which our thoughts and behaviors emerge. our core beliefs, we set rules for ourselves that are stated in terms of should or must and then we make assumptions that are statements based on our core beliefs, so for example, if we have a core belief that the world is scary, we could have rules like I always have to stay safe I shouldn't take any risks and assumptions like if I'm not careful enough then something bad will happen to me if I let my guard down then I will get hurt if you don't take any risks then I will be safe these rules and assumptions influence our behavior we act in ways that allow us to avoid violating our rules or to avoid the negative consequences or achieve the positive consequences of an if-then assumption, so in this example We could behave in ways that allow us to avoid anything that we perceive as frightening or anxiety-provoking and these rules and assumptions influence our thoughts.

In this case, they can lead us to worry a lot and always wonder what happens if and when this happens. What would happen if? What would happen if? Other examples of rules could be things like: I must do everything right. I must try to make everyone happy. I must not show any weakness. I must always be prepared for the worst. I must always be the best. I have to drink. take care of everyone and other assumptions could be things like if I don't try to make friends then I won't be rejected if I'm always nice to everyone then people will like me if my relationship ends then I'll be alone forever if I commit to something then I'll disappoint others people if they care about me then they will ask me how I am if I trust someone then they will use it against me if I don't try then I win Don't be disappointed so this is a basic summary of the fundamental beliefs, rules and assumptions so Now let's see how we can try to discover what some of our fundamental beliefs, rules and assumptions are.

Our core beliefs are not as accessible to us as Our thoughts and behavior are: If we want to know what we are thinking, we can ask ourselves what is going on in my mind right now, and no matter what we are doing, we can usually take a step back. and notice how we are. behave in the moment, but if I ask you what your core beliefs are, what rules you follow, and what assumptions you make about yourself, the world, and others, then you probably won't have an answer for me right away and you might not even know it. .

Where to start looking There are several ways we can try to reveal our core beliefs, rules, and assumptions. The simplest is to simply ask ourselves what I believe about myself, about the world and about other people, so take a moment now and see if you can think of anything to complete the I am the world and other people are statements and I will link it to a sheet of work in the description and I will pin a comment where you can complete this exercise along with others that we will do throughout the The rest of this video in your own time if you want and then you can do the same with the rules and start with these prompts and Try to fill in the blanks.

I must I must not I must I must not And now for the assumptions, start with If or if I or if someone then and sometimes we can discover some of our core beliefs just by looking back at our lives and seeing the lessons we have learned growing up. Our core beliefs develop over time beginning in childhood with the lessons we learned from our parents. either explicitly through things we were taught or implicitly through things we learned through observation, as well as through things we have learned from our interactions with other people in our lives that are important to us, as siblings. , other relatives, teachers, role models, friends and peers, so One way to discover core beliefs is to simply ask yourself what I learned from these people about myself, about the world and about other people.

I formed rules or assumptions based on what I learned from them. Core beliefs also develop as a result of experiences. that we have as children, so think about your formative experiences early in life and ask yourself what I learned from these experiences about myself, about the world and about other people, and formed some rule or assumption based on these experiences and then you can look to the people. who have been influential in your life and the significant experiences you have had since childhood and ask yourself the same questions about them. Another way to discover our core beliefs is to start from the top with our thoughts and work our way down, now it is possible. having a thought that sounds like a core belief that is actually just a fleeting thought that doesn't go much deeper, for example, if something goes wrong and you tell yourself I'm a loser, but you almost never tell yourself that no it is. necessarily a core belief, but if you constantly tell yourself I'm a loser multiple times a day, then it's probably a core belief, so any thought that starts I am or the world is or life is or people son could be a core belief or it could just be a specific thought you have at that moment in response to something and it doesn't go beyond that, but if it's something you tell yourself all the time, it's probably a core belief. and the same is true for thoughts about rules that start with things like should or must or thoughts that include if-then assumptions sometimes they are just thoughts we have on the surface, but if we have these thoughts frequently then it is probably because They are a rule or assumption that we tend to live by, but the other way we can discover our core beliefs from our thoughts is to use what is called the downward arrow technique, where we take an automatic thought that we have had.

We respond to a situation and ask ourselves if this is true, what does this thought say or mean about me or about the world and how it works or about other people. So, for example, a friend does not respond to us and we have the thought: "I must." I have said something that upset them, so we ask ourselves if this thought is true, what it says or means about me or about the world and how it works or about other people, they probably don't like me and if this is true, what does it mean? This says or means about me I don't know how to talk to people and if this is true, what does this say or mean about me?

I will never have friends and if this is true, what does this say or mean about me? I am unpleasant and if this is true, what does this say or mean about me? If the answer is good, it means that I am unpleasant, then we have come to the end and we have arrived at our core belief that I am unpleasant, that is responsible for the I thought I must have said something that upset them and with a different set of core beliefs. we could have had a different thought in this situation, so with the fundamental belief that people are selfish, you might have thought what's wrong with them, why not? responded still or with a core belief like the world is a dangerous place, then you might have thought something must have happened to them I hope they're okay or with a core belief like I'm nice or that other people are considerate, those might lead to a thought like oh, I guess they're probably just busy or, for a more complicated example, let's look at a situation that involves more than one core belief.

I'm planning to go to a party alone and I'm starting to worry, what if I don't know anyone? What if I get there and don't talk to anyone? What happens if I get embarrassed? What if I get so anxious? I have a panic attack and then I wonder what this says or means about me or the world. and how it works or about other people, you can never know what to expect and what this says or means about the world and how it works. Bad things can happen at any time and what does this say or mean about the world and how it works.

The world is scary, so here we have arrived at a fundamental belief about the world, but if we continue, maybe there is more, what does this say about me, the world or other people? If I don't take risks, then I won't do it. get hurt and here we have discovered an if-then assumption that we live by and what does this say about me, the world or other people, I should keep myself safe, so here we have discovered an if-then assumption that we live by and what does this say about me or the world or other people I am weak we can also discover fundamental beliefs and especially rules and assumptions by observing our behavior rules and assumptions guide our behavior should or should statements tell us how to behave and if then the statements are assumptions about what will happen if we We behave in a certain way, so going back to our last example, maybe my behavior is: I arrive at the party, turn around and go home, so what does this behavior suggest about the rules or assumptions I have about myself? same? world or other people or, more simply, why am I acting this way?

So I might have rules like I have to stay safe, I have to avoid anxiety at all costs or assumptions like if I'm around people I don't know then I'll feel too uncomfortable or if I avoid social situations then I'll stay safe now that we have a series of tools to help us discover our core beliefs, rules and assumptions and you can work on all of them in the worksheet I link to in the pin description and comment, but now how do we change our core beliefs, rules and assumptions to change the way we think and act and, as a result, improve our mood and help us feel better?

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