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Comedians on GAY PEOPLE (Part 2)

Comedians on GAY PEOPLE (Part 2)
any gay priest sin no i'm for those of you that don't know the collective noun for gay priests priests it's an easy one to remember isn't it no because gay priests were in the news because if you're a gay priest you can now marry another gay priest and they weren't allowed to for ages because it was going to be confusing during the ceremony because would they say do you take this man or does he take you who's the mummy seems a bit awkward i'd like to meet a gay priest though because normally priests do that sort of nominee

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tray filio fish thing whatever that is i imagine a gay priest to be a little bit more a little bit more razzmatazz jesus christ you look amazing good to be here i'm in a bit of a weird place right now uh bumped into the ex-girlfriend on the street recently wasn't ready for that one she looked great she was the one that got away we dated for six years she dumped me out of the blue because she said i wasn't manly enough for her and at the time i liked her so much i was like i'll do anything you want what do you want me to do work out join the army hit you whatever you need i'll do it she was like look i just need a manlier guy i was like tell me what you want and i'll do it she's like all right fine i want a guy who will pay for everything support me financially always drive always open door for me protect me i'm like let me stop you right there not a man good lord of course you want to...
comedians on gay people part 2
date that guy that guy sounds amazing i would date that guy my friends be like hey mark are you gay now i'm like hold on you haven't met jeff this guy's incredible he already beat up my high school bully paid off my student loans we're getting lobster tonight gotti treats me well but the sex is brutal brutal sex i am in a lot of pain here i'll tell you that i've been going a lot of gay bars lately because my friend works at one so i've been hanging out there uh and my guy friends are blown away by this they're like dude you go to gay bars that is weird if some gay guy ever hit on me i don't know what i would do how about you just not have sex with them yeah i never got that you know uh you're mad at somebody because they might find you attractive like i'm not attracted to nine-year-old women but if one of them pitched me on the cheek and was like oh mark you're so cute i wouldn't be like get the off me i'll kill you i'm not gonna lie to you guys i kind of like going to gay bars you know gay guys uh they make me feel special like last i went to a gay bar some guy there told me i had pretty eyes that's amazing no woman's ever told me that you know this guy appreciated me for my looks for once in my life and i got to tell you feel pretty good because you know like if i want to get with a girl i've got to use my personality and i've got to be honest ladies i'm getting really sick of having to bring it...
comedians on gay people part 2
in every conversation you know it's nice just be able to kick back and coast on these beauties for a minute i have a girlfriend now uh myself which is weird because i'm probably gay based on the way i act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years i think i was supposed to be gay i think like in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and then they forgot to flip the final switch and they just sent me out and it was like you marked that one gay right it was like oh no was i supposed to and they're like oh man well this will be a very interesting person so be a very silly person i was definitely gay when i was a little boy a lot of little boys are gay you know they're very flowy and they have hard opinions on things i don't mean that i was a sexually active gay man when i was a little boy that's not what i mean when i was a little boy i was more like like a 67 year old gay man that's kind of over it sexually you know i was just like an old queen i would come out to the recess yard and be like everyone get out of my way i just want to sit here and feed my birds the gym teacher would tell me to play kickball and i'd be like you want me to do what real quick i just happened pretty recently i was in a restaurant near here in the west village and i was at the urinal and an old gay man came in the bathroom with a walker like this and he said this to me he went i'm either having a drink or i have to pee you're living the...
comedians on gay people part 2
golden years kid not me like he spoke in rhymes it was crazy it was such a weird interaction that i wasn't sure if it actually happened i came out of the bathroom and i asked my girlfriend i was like did you see like an old man follow me in the bathroom and she was like john that bathroom's been closed for 40 years whoa whoa do you know what it's a good job i wasn't born gay because i don't know what i'd do why not if you're gay you'll be loving it won't you i wouldn't yeah i don't think i'm suited to it why just the lifestyle what do you mean because the lifestyle the way they walk about over there showing off being quite okay you wake up gay tomorrow what's the first thing you do do you get a boyfriend or do you play the i field you play the field yeah are you going to are you going to talk the same yeah maybe in time i suppose things rub off if i'm knocking about with john inman's of the world i'm probably going to start maybe a little sort of uh give me something to say uh oh hello i haven't seen you for ages right so it'd be a bit different maybe the oh hello right i've seen you for ages it'd be little things like that and

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would suddenly go you met carl recently sounds different so you know you go home you go home you go your dad goes all right so how's it going i've been doing any diy recently oh hello dad i'm i've been there for a bit um i'll wait till another for...
carl how's susan uh i'm not i'm not with her anymore this is pointless because it's not the life i would choose okay but you've woken up gay but i wouldn't i wouldn't believe it then i'd just go i feel a bit happier today don't know why no but then you start going oh you go down you buy a gay magazine you're flicking through you're looking at more than you've ever seen before in your life and you're loving it you look down some has happened what'd you do next i just wouldn't look at that magazine again no you're loving it you go oh i can't believe i haven't seen this magazine before

people

i've seen knobs before have you yeah where you see knobs all the time where gyms and that and don't say you don't look because you do when you're in a gym because it's there don't look if you're going like that that's that's more of a worry if you're not happy looking a knob in the face there's something wrong you should be comfortable with it just just there you go your neighbors nice

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the

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live around great

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i every day i meet somebody new you know this city is great because of the neighborly

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you know but i did meet one neighbor interesting story you know that uh this guy he just moved in you know next door to me so i'm always one to to meet the neighbors you like to chat with the neighbors yeah because you know so uh i uh i went over to the i...
knocked on the door next door to where i live and i say to the guy i said hey i'm your new neighbor you know and i said uh good to see you you know nice to nice to run into you you know welcome to the the neighborhood you know and so the guy said i said what do you do for a living there sir you know if you don't mind me asking you know what do you do for a living i'm a i'm a uh nightclub comic i tell the guy so he says to me he says i'm a i worked out at the university of science there he says i'm a uh i'm a um that's a good school by the way i can't remember the exact place sure but uh he says i i'm a professor of logic huh so he says the guy says logic now what the hell is that i never heard tell of that he says oh well he says it's a kind of a pattern of uh a syllogistic er well he says it's hard to explain he says why don't i give you an example so i said fair enough why don't you do that so the guy says well he says let me ask you a question he says do you own a dog house so i go yes i do he says well then that means you probably have a dog i said yes he says uh well that means you're likely to have a family if you have a dog i said yes i do he said uh well then that means you got kids you're married i said yes yes i am he says well then you're a heterosexual man i said yes sir i am he says well you see that's logic there i i asked if simply from finding out you had a dog house i made this series of...
inferences and uh i have found that you're a heterosexual man simply from the fact that you had a dog house well i said good god isn't that something okay uh so i said well i won't waste any more of your time there uh neighbor and i said i'll see you see you later see you around okay well uh i went i said come on come by one day and have a chicken with me as i left so i left so i go i go to get a bus you know to the bus stop and i i walked down to the bus stop and i still thinking about this thing that happened to me you know and i'm standing at the bus and uh uh no bus coming at all you know five or six of us standing around and one guy lights up a cigarette there and he goes he goes as soon as you light up a cigarette the bus comes and uh he smokes the whole damn cigarette no bus comes right so uh i said to the guy well that theory really worked huh yeah and the guy goes well sometimes it works anyways the guy goes what's new with you i go well i had an interesting thing happen to me today i said i met my neighbor and he goes oh yeah i go he had a hell of an interesting job i said he's a professor of logic down at the university of science and uh so the guy says is that so he says la uh professor of logic he goes what the hell is that logic i said well it's a series of sicilia something or other right right i said i can't remember exactly but i said i'll give you an example if you want to hear an example yeah so the guy goes out right...
fair enough so i said let me ask you this i said uh uh do you let me ask you a question do you own a dog house and the guy goes uh no i don't own a doghouse so uh i says the guy says oh yeah you're one of them gays and here we work right what great stuff you can learn university of science there all right and then the guy and then get this look at this there's more this gay guy yeah invites me to have a chicken at his fridge