Codependent Relationships - The Addicts LoopMay 31, 2021
Hello, my name is Rene Aram and I want to welcome you to Attic S
loop. I created my website, The Attic Look Quiet and wrote my book The Attic S
loopto describe in detail the unconscious mechanics of codependency and addiction. Now this is a new model of addiction. and codependency that you have not seen before and for the first time I will show you the root cause of both
codependents and addiction. So what really is codependency? If you research the word or even Google it, codependency or codependency, you will find many. of symptoms but no root cause, you will find that we mysteriously inherit it and learn it during childhood and then carry it into our adult
relationshipswhere we become obsessed with certain personalities but not others, so what do we really inherit from codependency and what do we learn during the childhood that we adopt in our adult
relationshipsand become obsessed with certain personalities.
The relationship starts off great, feels like a drug, and then goes into a bad hangover. Why do we keep finding the same painful relationship over and over again expecting different results before breaking up? To uncover the root cause of
codependentrelationships, I want to look at three words: conscious, subconscious, and unconscious. I hope we all know what is conscious and subconscious. It could be your phone number, your address, you're not thinking about it right now, but if someone asked you, you could pull it out of your subconscious unconscious absolutely no awareness remember that word I'm going to use it a lot unconscious no awareness I've found all the codependent destructive traits that you know they can be in these two roles that I have called the controller and the It depends, okay, what happens with these two roles is that they are in the unconscious, you are not aware of them and they come from the same trunk, but they separate, so both of you may experience many of the behavioral traits of codependent codependence. they feel less than both they feel needed they both may be vulnerable today they may feel isolated but these two roles rescue each other they are on a rescue mission that fails every time I will show you that you will be next yourself what I have done is that against all the behavioral traits of the two roles these are the main traits it is okay for the controller role it can be aggressive this is unconscious and what they help I want to talk about that when you have control and dependence when we talk about conscious control and conscious dependence we have to do many things that we control every day right, you drive a car, you are going to balance your checkbook, there are many things that we must consciously control and that has nothing to do with these roles that we depend on very basic things right wall water shelter or food those basic things those needs have nothing to do with these two roles these roles are programmed almost visualize that there are two chips in the back of your head in the unconscious and they have this programming that they are constantly transmitting to you behind a curtain, everything that you get is the message is system of these two roles right now, the majority of the population has one, okay, I find that you are either a controller or a dependent.
I think it's a good percentage of our population. I would say you know 18 percent of these two roles are fine everywhere, so let's look at the controller's unconscious programming, so it's like the controller or someone in the controller role is transmitting this behavior, very aggressive, dominating over controlling, this is a very important order here and they would work well, so you can know what enabling is if you are giving an example. I know a friend of Mines, a controller, she had a friend who is a clerk, they went into Starbucks and she wouldn't let her clerk friend order anything she said no, she would keep, you know, latte swag, Now the inch of cream on top, please, I wouldn't let it out of everything, so this facilitator is willing to rescue and fix that dependent role, it's okay and innately because it is in the unconscious, it has no signs, there is no stop signs no measure just keep going keep going until you wake up the bottomless pit runs the show sinks to rescue the dependent then the controller role may feel depressed needy broken unlovable but the controller role doesn't stay there, the controller role emerges from your pain to rescue, enable and lead the dependent role.
Now it would make sense that presidents, CEOs and general managers could have inherited the role of controller, that may be true, but a homeless person pushes a shopping cart and shouts instructions. and pedestrians could have the controller role and also the dependent role, okay, the primary programming, the unconscious programming of the dependent, passive-aggressive, needy, broken, entitled role, does everyone know what's entitled, damn, so I'm going to get it real quick, friend? Yours is coming, they have that dependent role, man, I need a place to stay for the night. They have those big, puffy eyes. You feel like the puppy that shows up at the door.
Narae, come in, come in, so, pennant roll. He arrives He stays all night He says the controller is going to work The next thing he gets home He's a clerk He has his feet up on the coffee table He's eating everything in the refrigerator, right? and they say, 'man, you're out of ice cream, so this dependent role' because he's unconscious he also has a black hole in his psyche back there, which is right, these two words here are very important because these are the two Blind spots that feed voids and each other into a bottomless pit, there is no measure, the controller will continue. to enable on an ankle and not know that they are hurting the dependent role the dependent role will be that bottomless pit to take care of me help me and to go and follow again another cookie so that they can lower this blind spot like this This is where a lot of damage is done here and I'll show you later, but I think these two are the core of addiction.
The dependent on pleasing people. The dependent role will be a people pleaser and that means saying yes when you want to say no because dependency. The job here is also that of a controller, so that the controller feels powerful and in control, even if they don't agree with what is happening, they will accept that they will come, the dependent role will transform into any controller role once are fine and then you beat the controller to rescue him. It makes sense that the dependent role personality can make someone shy, introverted and passive, that may be true, but CEOs and general managers from the president can inherit the dependent role.
Furthermore, these are the rescue missions between the unconscious controller and the unconscious dependent. I want to show you both roles. both roles inactive in the unconscious okay, the controller arises from his low self-esteem attracts the dependent towards the solution this connection is a solution it's like a biochemical solution it's a high the controller gets his strength and is high from rescuing the dependent and the dependent feels safe, rescued and connected, this creates not only the psychological high but the biochemical high in both roles now, after this happens every time there is a dark side of the moon here that they don't see and that's both roles. they are betrayed, rejected and abandoned and fall back into default settings. codependency simply does not destroy our intimate relationships.
We inherit the codependent role and it charges like a battery during childhood from our family and role models and then we recreate the pain over and over again. In our friendships, our family, our work relationships, and love interests, many people ask me if both codependent roles can be inherited and the answer is yes. I will show you that in a future video I will also show you the unconscious mechanics of the Attucks cycle. I will show you how codependency and addiction travel through our family from generation to generation and for the first time I will analyze the root cause and the unconscious mechanics. of addiction.
My name is René Aram and these are the Attucks. loop until next time
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