Chris Rock ROASTING PeopleMay 29, 2021
Now you gotta watch when you sit down everybody can't sit down 50 Dench I'm gonna roll you can't sit down jay-z their knives in there, if you bite enough money I'll read your mind, you'll read her mind, I'll read her mind in the audience, you've never met these
people, there's a lot going on in his head, he's thinking, uh, I don't even let black
peoplein. my house i can't believe i left one in my mind the funniest guy this guy is not the hardest worker i know i mean michael strahan's side michael goes downstairs the garbagemen want to rest i really like fighting for jobs i hate the feeling of suddenly being like oh well you know Kristen can have it because she just because she can I am you know what I mean I don't know what the hell you're talking about you need a job okay everyone is better than I although the parties for a Mexican, yes, Jana got angry, Jana said she won't come, Jada is going to boycott the acid, Jacob boycotting the Osca. rs is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties.
They didn't invite me. The boy from the program plays. You were a young man. He plays me as a young man. He plays for me as a child. I was going through neverland ranch just trey has headphones so now everyone else tryna get headphones pity sync guy headphones rick ross even has headphones as i drag the beats rick ross has diabetes we crossed he'll be the first rapper to die of breast cancer. they said no, just look at Smollett's jokes, what the hell was he thinking as of now? I'll never know only your Jesse from now on, don't even understand the way you know you're respect so you won't get respect from me guys. well jennifer lopez here tonight jennifer lopez that's right she came with two limos so fast jennifer oh yeah girl don't you think your ass is good enough i see jennifer on tv thinking about mom and dad in a carriage thank you oscar thank you that's my pie ass go just the actors the show star jennifer just the commodores the asses lionel richie you both have you have beautiful children including daughters how do you think you guys are going to be like the father of the bride there is nothing good right now she is yours how are you god you sound like an old man at my age the warranty is starting to run out yeah i dont know if things go bad and people say ok honey you feel good otherwise no i feel like the hell, well, sort of.
I don't know what I'd hold up to in court, you know, rich man, you can go home, wife's not a manager, I don't feel so good, why am I driving back to Connecticut, yeah, to a bad woman? the baby in the cave, well, don't talk to me about you. I know the last time you were here you were about to go on a world tour or just finished a world tour. How do you do that? How about the tour Dave? you're out there on the
rockyou get sick Dave and if my wife's mad at me I just add shows yeah n I can't say much behind the scenes fired all the pretty girls you got a bunch of fat old men it's awful , so the vibe is just good I'd say some of those guys that started looking pretty good when people act like they're not angry. they lost but i remember one year when our halle berry won the oscar nicole kidman she was smiling so broadly she shouldn't want any acting oscars for her great performance on the show i let her see her own i don't understand there's a growing up daddy oh yeah, gotti show give a damn tv show network exec said yeah the killer guy these kids should get a tv show what the sponsors advertise on the flashy shows yeah nabisco is proud to present this next murder. a show and the last thing I need is to lose another job because of Kevin Hart okay I don't need that cab cab over there he can make movies fast every month plan Oh stars don't make movies that fast you gotta know all the movies I've seen some of them you know some of them a lot of clunkers anything you like there well there's a good one yeah yeah what are you trying to get me the same man any watch any ended up in my movies that goes without saying but anything hey don't you you moved to I died, I know I know I did.
We went straight to the audio. My favorite show at home is Bobby Brown, yes, because it's because you watch it happen. Hey, Whitney is in bad shape too and they just keep the one reality show going. They let the camera roll, yes. I didn't cut anything you know one day I saw them just doing a They ran out of crack and started doing a crack dance so the crack would start raining from the sky fun to be putting on a show in New York New York New York The home of the priest crack that's right we have a crack priest in new york talks about the priest was recently caught smoking crack while writing the sermon the sermon sounds like created crack is why would you want to be a black why would you do that I don't call don't call my real name You dirty little bastard That's right yeah we got a Black Rocky this year yeah some people call him Creed I call him Black Rocket and that's a big that's an amazing statement I mean because
rocktakes place in a world where white athletes are just as good as black athletes so Iraqis a sci-fi movie the biggest story this year of all black news was Donald Sterling the first black man to c He heard, it occurred to him at Christmas, the idea that the two daughters are girls, Dave and they do girly things, Dave also does a lot of things. tea parties and girlish nonsense i have to pretend i enjoy it well but you really enjoy it too you know with the boy you still got that one yes i do philippi i'll make it all right after the show cause you're easier yeah no I still got the guy did you see something from today's press conference with Tiger oh my gosh this Tiger thing man did you know I wake up?
I'm dazed and I see it, so I didn't see it. I don't know exactly what he was looking at. I see this biracial man behind. a podium apologizing for the sex and I'm like oh Lord the Kardashians don't have Obama
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