Change Your Closet, Change Your Life | Gillian Dunn | TEDxWhiteRock

I think there are two types of people in the world: those who sing in the shower and those who act in the shower and I am an artist I don't know what it is about that small space with the water running my shampoo bottle is my microphone and my loofah As a backup, all I know is that when I'm done I want to start touring instead of toweling off, now that the shower is out of the way comes the really important part: choosing what to wear. I stand in front of my

closet

about to burst. the seams and I still have the thought that I have nothing to wear now.

I usually find this decision a little easier because I work as an RN and we wear scrubs to work with the big blocks of bold colors that scrubs sometimes are. The decision is more like which giant Crayola crayon I want to be today. The

closet

is just one of the areas where our stuff overwhelms us. We wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. We live in a time where with the click of a button you can order something online and have it delivered to

your

door without even leaving

your

couch. abundance is the name and spending is the game.

We don't have a problem with collecting things, but we have a problem with using it and that's why I'm here. today at this point you can join me. I'm going to invite everyone to raise their hands. I won't make you do anything crazy like those guys. I'm going to ask a series of questions if you answer yes to any of the questions. I'm going to invite you to lower your hand. Do you have clothes in your closet with tags? Do you have clothes in your closet that you haven't worn in a year? - You have a candle in your house that has never been lit. you have special alcohol that you are saving for a special occasion you drive a luxury vehicle that spends more time in the garage than on the road finally you have dishes or tableware that you are saving for a special place or guests if you find your hands in your lap you have earned ten minutes more of listening to me I came back from a family vacation in Mexico and bought myself a beautiful blue ornate candle I was so excited to light it I came home and thought today is Not the day I'll save it for the right occasion, so I put it away my closet and I forgot it.

Two years passed and I remembered my candle and thought today is the day I would light it, so I took it out. my candle and I opened the box and my beautiful blue candle had turned into a big puddle of wax my candle had melted now what surprised me is really strange about this was that my candle had done exactly what it was designed to do, It's designed to melt but he had done it without me, that was the day I learned don't let your candle melt in the closet after telling this story to a man he came up to me and told me that my wife and I We have had candles in our house for 10 years. and they have never melted, maybe it's your location, not your loss, that you should focus on and I said, I think maybe you missed my point, all the things we gathered have one thing in common, we decided they are special.

We have no problem cutting labels off of sweatpants or removing cutlery and crockery from IKEA. It's good China, expensive whiskey, the good suit that stays locked in the closet. I learned this to a new level one day when I was shopping and I heard a man compliment the other man on his watch and the man responded if you like this one you should check out the ones I don't wear. This sounded very strange to me until the other man responded absolutely the best ones never come out of the box now. These watches tick rather than melt but I could see their batteries running out as their owners wore their second best watch saving the best watch for another occasion.

I want you to reflect on that article that made you lower your hand when you think about using it. or when you are going to wear it what is the feeling it evokes in you is a particularly important feeling of poise I learned recently when I don't wear something it is because I decided it is too pretty recently I was given a necklace it was a little prettier than the type of necklace I I wear it normally, so I put it on and showed it to my sister and told her it's too pretty to wear every day.

She looked at me and said it's very nice but it's not your thing. Don't let the candle melt in the closet. She was using my date against me. I understand it simply, yes or no I would have done it. It caught my attention as soon as I picked up this necklace as if it was too pretty to wear every day, it was moved to my jewelry box and I forgot to wait for that special day, this made me very curious so instead of collecting things I decided to collect information and I learned that our tendency as humans to accumulate things is based on two mentalities: I am not enough and I don't have enough I'm going to start with I don't have enough this is a mentality that was introduced by the Great Depression and sold us the lie that gathering things around us we can protect ourselves against difficult times.

I think it's best summed up with a quote from author Lynn Twist that she says for me and for many of us, our first thought of the day when we wake up is I didn't get enough sleep. This is quickly followed by the thought I don't have enough time, whether these thoughts are true or not. They come to us automatically before we even think about pausing or examining them and citing this "I don't have enough" mentality means we live in houses three times the size we did 50 years ago and yet our garages are so full of stuff that We can't park our cars in them.

The second mindset is: I am not enough. I already said that we are excellent at gathering things that we, as a society, love to buy and when we buy we look for those things that are missing in our lives. you don't have enough time buy another power tool for that deck project you don't have enough time to haven't lost weight buy a pair of pants that will look much better when you've lost those last 10 pounds and you don't feel special or important buy a pair of stilettos They make you feel so good in front of the mirror but they never leave the house when we go shopping we seek to fill our lives with the things we are missing we stand in the store and convince ourselves that we can be enough for these items but something happens between the cash register and our closets.

Whatever convinced us in the store that we could be enough for these items disappears, we make room in the closet and we make room in the garage and we forget about them what if I told you that these items aren't just items that write promises promises one day when these items dictate the milestones in our lives we think to ourselves will I use it when I light the candle? when I'll use it when you fill in the blank when you match when you lose weight when your

life

finally matches your

life

on Pinterest the I'm-not-enough mentality keeps our clothes in our closets and the champagne runs out in the bottle what if Did I tell you that one day I wouldn't come?

Like I told you, I work as a registered nurse in the emergency department at emerge, we see it all, let me tell you when people know he's planning on coming to emerge, you don't. Don't put it on your calendar and think: Coffee at three, Out. at four, Dinner at five, You'll never go out in an hour, when people go out, they don't bring their special whiskey, they don't use it. Your best suit comes as you are and everyone gets the same blue cotton robe that looks terrible on everyone. I must admit that wearing that gown is a bit of a test with my patients, it's usually my first interaction and I give everyone the same instructions. put on this robe take off everything the robe opens at the back.

I draw the curtain after they have completed the task and sometimes they put it on like an open front robe with all their clothes still. sometimes they throw it over the robe but without the clothes underneath open in front and a little surprise behind the curtain and sometimes they put it on correctly in case of emergency

change

is our currency we see it all the time sometimes it's good to

change

Bowens back instead the pain disappears with a powerful drug called morphine answers are given to the questions those are the good days in the difficult days I remember that life can change in an instant heart attack car accident from the point of view next to a hospital in bed, what's important becomes very clear are those excuses for why you didn't light the candle, didn't drink the whiskey, became too small, didn't drive that car to the hospital and may never drive it again.

Now people ask me, so your takeaway. to work with life and death is to use your things, no, my conclusion to work with life and death, your life is what you make it, so make it one that you enjoy. I want to make it very clear what this idea is, it is a change of mentality in the vision. You yourself are enough to have and use your things. It is also a reminder that you are in control of your life. Why not make it one that counts? I want to make it very clear what this idea is.

They are not the four most annoying letters of my generation. Yolo. you only live once this is not an excuse to break your bank account go to europe on credit or buy that convertible you've been eyeing you should be able to go home today without stopping by the store and look around your house and use your stuff that candle that melted triggered something in me. I thought it might be a candle, but it represents so much more. I started telling my candle story to my friends and family and didn't realize it could have an impact on others. also the lives of people.

I told the story to a friend and the next time I went to her house she took me on a candle tour lit lit lit lit Gillian I had waited a year to light that candle you told me the story and I left all of them the next day, another friend pointed to a beautiful pair of stilettos on her shelf and said those beautiful insects are from when I booked my first speaking event. She texted me later that week and she told me I don't wear those shoes anymore. melting I started seeing candles in my friend's closet, but they weren't shaped like candles, they were shaped like dresses that never seem to come out of the closet, so I decided to have a party and the rule for this party was you have to wear the dress you don't have another place to wear women nod their heads we all have a dress like this it's a dress that every time you go to dress it never makes the cut it's too tight it's too shiny it's too long it's too short whatever the excuse, the excuses They are sold out and you have to wear this dress to this event.

I think my favorite part of this event was that we went to a restaurant and you could tell that the customers, once we were all together, went for it. to find out what the theme of this party was, this is a terribly coordinated wedding party, this is Halloween, come early, what's up with this group of girls? I think what stood out the most was how much fun we were having, do you see when you put the excuses on hold the other side of that is joy confidence freedom all these characteristics that we had kept hidden in our closet came to light when you said no more Excuses Today is the day recently that a man was telling me about when they gave you a gift that is beautifully wrapped, you know, the kind that they clearly went the extra mile to wrap beautifully.

Do you put it on your shelf without unwrapping it and say look how beautiful it is how could I unwrap it? No, because you know the gift inside is even better than the wrapping. I think life gives us a gift and it's called today and we refrain from unwrapping it and we make excuses and we make it feel good, but really what's on the inside is what matters, you could be sitting there thinking. I think it takes more than wearing the clothes in my closet or opening champagne or taking out the good China, but I would say that those small actions send a big message that you will no longer let life slip away or rather melt away with my challenge. for you.

Whatever made you lower your hand earlier in my talk I ask you to use it within the next week take out that China for a random Tuesday night open that whiskey take out the car cut the tags off your clothes and don't let may your candle melt in the closet thank you