César Lozano Cómo Tratar con Gente Difícil

I am very pleased with this invitation that you have extended to me today to share with you a conference that I don't know which of you has to deal with difficult people. Raise your hand please, it is no wonder that this theater was filled because there is every person you mentioned. sir take it horse of saint tomás kick it so much take my horse has I am dealing with difficult people it is very sometimes very complicated we complicate our existence but nevertheless it is something that we are frequently going to be encountering in life as we pass through this life I I really like how every conference I give starts with a promise I'm going to promise something I promise that during the minutes we're going to be together I promise that no one is going to be bored for another meter if in the end I don't keep it raise your hand they tell me cousin run away I ask you something in return to please participate, give your opinion, speak, you can interrupt me whenever you want.

I am impressed by the size of this theater and above all by the beautiful response I had in this city with this topic, which is how to deal with difficult or impossible people during To begin, you know that on occasion I came on a plane and I found an article in the airplane magazine that had a great impact on me. The article said that all human beings require a minimum of 10 hugs a day. Raise your hand if anyone from here has already received ten. Hugs, please raise your hand, oh my, what a misery it is that whoever has eight hugs, raise your hand, there are also five hugs up there, whoever has five this afternoon, someone, what poverty, 22 hugs, go see, everyone, please stand up, everywhere, stand a little.

Stand for a minute, just put on, I'm going to ask everyone to give each other ten hugs, but count the nice hugs, ten at least ten, please, ten hugs, 10 hugs, well, there were many, already, already, already, thank you very much, the presentation, thank you very much, I want start with a beginning with a fundamental principle before talking about what dealing with difficult people is and this first principle I want to dedicate to all of you because for me it is the basis of why sometimes we have to deal with difficult people and Tell me if that is true and this first principle says something as simple as what you are going to see here on the screen, no one, absolutely no one can make your life impossible unless you want it, I want to start with that why why why why unfortunately In this dealing with difficult people we complicate our existence because there is a human being who is complicating your life.

I say how important this human being who is complicating your life is for you. I shared something a while ago that I said that life is like a train. but I also said that life is like a movie I would ask who is the main actor in the movie of your life who is in mine it's me I don't know yours because there are people who give the main role to another person especially when you It is complicating existence. You say that I am not happy because of that person. Do me a favor and tell me what important role you are giving that human being so that because of a human being that exists in your life, I am not happy.

The anger is when you tell me that he is not one. There are like 20 well who is the complicated one look at the movie of my life and first a star in mine it's me in yours I'm sure it's you there are guest actors for me today it's everyone who is in this theater no They are extras They are guest actors There is a first actress There is a first actor Supporting actors There are villains Tell me if the broth is not tasty with the villains but how boring life would be a novel that aired on a very important channel here in Mexico that was not successful a excellent actress an excellent actor a very prestigious university began to investigate to see what happened because it was not so successful do you know what was the reason why it was not so successful because the villain was very hot she was very subdued when I played her flavor of the broth that's why the soap opera failed it's not possible you say and in the movie of my life and villain I'm not going to deny it 12 that have complicated my life there are times when you're not happy because the villain is shining brighter than you that's it What I consider not to be complicating my existence because of a human being, he reiterated the principle with which I started, absolutely no one can make your life impossible unless you authorize it, talking about making my life impossible, those who were with me At the conference on positive attitudes I was talking about a basic principle of attitude.

If I asked that at this moment all of us here think about how you arrived home tonight, open the door of the person you love the most. and that you live with her or him and when you come in your children greet you your wife your husband and says it's good that you've arrived hey there's nothing to eat in the refrigerator but since there's really nothing I'm mom we haven't eaten dad we haven't I've eaten all day and I'm starving for my little son but yes there is peace and sometimes it's reflected and it's empty they put your hands in the bag and it's empty I don't have a single time it's ten at night who tells me who He felt a pain, he mentioned here in his heart, a conscious act of just imagining that scene because I'm talking about this because of a triad that is basic in this: No one can make your life impossible if you don't authorize it.

I say a thought at this moment that caused me a feeling. and a feeling caused me an action is created is what makes the difference in how to deal with difficult or impossible people my thoughts provoke feelings and my feelings provoke actions I would ask then who depends on who my attitude is as it is on who depends because on my feelings of what I feel here and on who it depends that I feel this on whom it depends because it also depends on me on what I think here it is very difficult to get rid of a bad thought it is very difficult to get rid of a person who is complicating my existence but Yes, I want to clarify, it depends 100% on me because my thoughts provoke feelings and my feelings provoke actions.

They would have told me this a long time ago and I would not have made so many mistakes that I have made in my life. It depends on me what I think and how to put it into practice, how to be able to remove it. bad thought, I clarify, it is very difficult to remove a bad thought, but it is very difficult to remove a worry, it is very difficult, you know what it is, it is easy to change it, replace it, what happens when every morning you grab a weight and spend the time carrying the weight, well, The muscle in your arm grows, the whole series, I assure you, man, woman, the same thing happens with your mind.

If you spend your time putting into practice this idea that my thoughts provoke feelings and my feelings provoke actions, I assure you that our attitude will change. Let's go. to begin to change our way of thinking and therefore everything that has been dealing with so many people that sometimes complicates our existence is going to affect us so much. Those who can be difficult people, let's be honest, can generally be the people you live with. even the people we love the most because there is every hubby that you say to God and why cross because it was my turn to carry this scorpion and there goes why not say it there are difficult bosses there are difficult children and we love them we love them but nevertheless it is a complicated son, I am not happy with anything and I continually work with him or her or live with him or her.

I hope that the concepts that I bring to you today in this conference will be useful to you, that you put them into practice based on it. I do not want to talk only about the theory I also want to talk about concepts that will help you deal with complicated people with character when you say that a person is very mature when you say look what a mature child look this person is extremely mature when when when I'm sorry when he dominated that I have learned that it is the answer, you are absolutely right with a person who is mature when he controls his emotions.

He calls emotion, courage, joy, because we even play each panda bear, we are very happy, sometimes we play every role, and above all, courage, we make every role when we are angry with A person is mature when they put him as a chicken coop, they told him how much he was going to die and he maintained equanimity when he controls an emotion as strong as anger does. That is when we say that a person is very mature, talking about this that a person This principle is very mature, which I like very much, and if a mature person will not let himself be affected by the way others treat him, but how to put it into practice, how to be able to make sure that this situation is not affecting me so much, do you remember when we were? children, observe those who have children under 10 years old, especially those little ones, observe them, and call them childish wisdom.

When the child is not happy with someone, simply and simply, what they do, the child withdraws, changes, and leaves. I call it childish wisdom, but What do we adults do when we are happy and a beggar does whatever he wants, they shouldn't have told him this, no, but he's going to pay me for it. He treated me like that. Normally, when someone treats a child badly, they even fight, they leave, but after a while they continue playing Czech and continue playing with the same person. We wanted childish wisdom because we adults are complicating our existence due to so many stupid things.

I ask God not to take away what I have little. that the child remains with me and above all in what childish wisdom has been, look at children, they basically approach people who treat them well and distance themselves from people who treat them badly, simply and simply, what is the best way to treat them? with someone difficult, that if you see creates a situation, a person is affecting you to such a degree that I can't handle that emotion and get away, hey, but when the mother who turned to see the madrid son lives with me, I'm unhappy.

Let's be very careful because there are two types of defects that human beings have, some are acceptable and others are unacceptable, it depends on each person's values ​​because maybe what is acceptable to you is to the person next to you, excuse me but For me that is unacceptable but I speak simply what I call something acceptable. Note that an acceptable defect could basically be when you have to live or deal with a selfish person, maybe someone says the moment, I can't stand any selfish person, that's it. You can't imagine what the person I live with is like.

Another acceptable one could be courage, a person who is always throwing parents from the moment he gets up until he falls asleep all day long, throwing reverend mothers from the beginning of the day until maybe It is acceptable but momentarily there comes a time when people start to get angry since they told me about this that I am going to share with you. I want to now take great care of myself when I am angry and more than anything, when I am angry we say everything that happens after a while. We regret it. You get angry, especially with your partner, and you tell him, I'm fed up with you, and it's up to the parent because it's always with you.

I don't know when I met you. Do you know what happens with the person who loves you so much and what? You want as much as this white sheet that I have in my hand, you know what happens and you are with your words in such a way that this happens, my love, you forgive me, it's because I got angry. The good thing is that I came very tired. Hey, wrinkled prost. Well, let's see, here is my love, a little while goes by and today I'm sick to death again who left this wall down - what a filthy woman, man, my life, little things, toast, if we started to investigate how they call us affectionately, no, all of us who are here here would laugh, little bear, excuse me, yes but you love me the same as before, yes there it is and something happens again and something happens again until suddenly he says to you, hey, why don't I feel like things are going like before, tell me if it's not true, talking about the acceptable ones in quotes, it's worthless. that an acceptable defect like the second one that I just mentioned, being courageous, being angry all day long, can become in the long run an unacceptable one that I share, what I call unacceptable is when we lack the dignity of the person when We truly do something that already hurt you so much that for that woman or that man it is already something unacceptable.

I also call it unacceptable when we catch the light in mine and more than one person that you love very much I call it the unacceptable. Let's be very careful to be believing. that all people are difficult people and the most difficult question is hey, am I not someone difficult? am I not the difficult person? why is that girls, boys and I ask who has teenage children, raise your hand, what is the problem, what is the problem, what is the reason? It should be covered. It has happened to you that you have a teenage son who is going through this stage of problems and that he is a problem son.

What do you tell him, my little son, how did it go anyway? Man, I don't like being asked, my dear, do you want to eat, swallow your mother and everything in the jar? and faded to finish scrubbing it. I don't know if you have that little problem that you have a character that can't stand alone before saying what I want to say about this story and I remember that many of me fall into that stage, guys, true. stage in our life we ​​were like that a lot but I returned to a situation that made me change at that precise moment.

I will never forget a day that was because I didn't have a car and my partner arrived to take me to college and at that moment he stopped, he whistled and I left. I'm from your house and behind my life and my mom running with a smoothie in her hand my little son your smoothie that mom with the scrubbing tomato what she's going to do the door ok now I read a friend stays on the side looking at miami and turning to see my mom and you hear who that lady is, mom, man, very stupid, dalián dalí turns around, starts the car quicklysighs and learns the car looks me in the eyes and tells me what I would give for mom to come back what I would give to have my mom alive for five minutes I promised to never ever girls boys free my mother like that again and I'm talking about this because why?

It should be said about you guys that suddenly the teenage boy or the teenage girl has a girlfriend, he dates, he doesn't visit and he changes his affection and his love and mommy, I already arrived at the gam and whoever arrived changed her and there is a joy and the girl starts studying starts getting good grades someone tells me why what I didn't achieve as a father as a mother a little girl of 15-16 years old achieves it someone knows why that is the key to how to deal with difficult people someone knows which This is the reason why a person of the same age appears in the life of my son and my teenage daughter and begins to study more and begins to change bad habits.

He looks happier. What is the reason? Someone wants to tell me that answer. lost loudly so that you can hear this one over here why I am come over here you feel loved you feel loved clap for this little woman to have the answer is that you feel loved because because I believe and I put it here on the screen I believe that at the cost of being telling people, I don't like this being done, my little son, because I think it's so fat that you are like that, that's how it bothers me that you are, it's in context, I think that with that I'm going to change it, that when I complain, people change that, I believe and we all believe. that at the expense of the woman telling her husband this, the other, the other and the other and because you are like that because the husband's genius is so great, it will change - love changes, it changes it because when we tell our son to our daughter, old man, I I would like you to be a little less brave, however, you would see how much I love you, just the way you are.

The girl begins to tell him, I love the way you are, but I'm half brave. I would love it if you weren't. You'll see how that book about men is useful to me. from mars and women are from venus it was very clear to me throughout the book something very different between man and woman but different boy you know what is the most different between us men and women in how we treat them and how we treat them I'm going to say because the majority in this theater is not because we are on equal terms, men and women, but I see a lot of women who come and tell their husbands.

Men are different because we have the habit that when a woman has a problem, tell me if it's Certainly, guys, we are fire extinguishers and the girl didn't come, so run, look for another yellow one and you'll see how I struggled because that name got caught in the sink drain and well, she's talking about the first fire extinguisher. This one has issues that I worked on all morning. Look how I keep my hands up. blisters from the rod that I had, the bandola from your bedroom, well, she loves you more. It was very clear to me in that book that women work differently and when she says, the girl didn't come, the man shouldn't say, hey, pose, about the period, no.

That's how I would do it quickly, you shouldn't turn around and say, "Whoever made my whole life, oh, poor thing, and nothing's worth it. I had to wash the windows and also the corners that were stained from there, so I wash it with my hands, my little hands and little things, look at nothing." plus my head also hurt all day instead of saying to him take the aspirin brno no no it's not where here here here there is no precocious and he turns to look at you intently and says you do understand me my life men work backwards there yes we are we like fire extinguishers today not in the head the aspirin is in the second drawer from top to bottom hey name clearly this is not working do you want me to call the mechanic and we say hey what an old thing it breaks we work differently and that was very clear to me and I speak about this because it is very related to the type of difficult people that sometimes I cannot treat them or not, I summarize by saying that to change a human being you have to put love into them, guys, you have to love them if it is not going to be very difficult and I speak of the acceptance of the person to be able to love him because tell me if you if it is not true yes if it is true I am going to talk about Jesus for Jesus it was very difficult I am because because you say you and the apostles were gems before they were apostles I really grasp it best that I could grab little boys good years I'm going to grab everything even collectors of I don't know what tremendous people what did he do or do I just accept them I love them I accept them as they were he loved them first you have to accept it and then try to start loving it I hope that with This has made it clear to me the basis of what it is to deal with complicated people with difficult people that biblical concept says I only love them and accept them as they were this is how I believe it comes in the Bible you want to change a difficult person use phrases like this I love you a lot but I would like you to be a little more or a little less than me.

I learned that in my life, if I wanted to classify all the personalities that we are in this theater, I would say that I could classify them into four types: here is the positive pole and here is the negative pole is like a cross with the positive and negative poles first type of people positive with negative those who live but do not let live are those who say first me and then me then me and if there is anything left me they are the yoyos man they are people who when You are talking something, you say a man would have accosted me, I already went, I would like to see, I don't know, my husband is looking to see if we can buy a water cart, well, I don't know, I really like this brand, I had one, they don't let you finish the sentence without saying. the me me the me me also have this custom when you ask them for a favor because the mind says I win if I help you I me second here there is no one there is someone here of their hopes let's go with the second those did not come the second type those who did not even They live, they let me live, these are the bitter ones, they are the people who say if things go badly for me, then things go badly for you, if I suffer, suffer, you, these are the bitter ones, the ones who are always complaining about everything for everyone, I am speaking in a general way like I want right now some classification a little different third type those who do not live but but if they let live these are the martyrs the martyrs those people who say that I have given everything for you and you who pay me like this ungrateful like so many children I bear and struggle With them, you see that they have a mother left.

Ingratitude is how they pay you every year, Martin, and in companies, a common good is Martin, who is the one who comes out later when the boss asks who helps me with this project. I help you, engineer, you see that here no one wants to, I, I hear, but you always do it, no, well, you see that everyone is very tired, there are 8 of them, but you too, yes, but poor things, there is someone from here, no, and the last type is the ones who live and let live. Let's raise your hand please and the entire audience, the 700 of us, raise our hands, applaud all the famous people, you, well, it's great that we're here.

I believe in a basic principle, no one gives what they don't have, how can you love others and how can you love others? Otherwise, and if you don't go too far, it's such a simple and basic principle as I'm telling you, hey, in order to create people, you first have to accept it, but try to see if they can change, obviously, but it's easier to put on some sandals that want to be carpeted. The whole world is much easier, it won't be that I will have to change those of you who gave yourself something for Christmas, raise your hand, man, look, the fourth part is that you buy something that I don't know many of, well, a little blouse, even if it's a pair of men's underwear. raise your hand someone buys there are people who don't really buy from the gift list it's for my mom it's for my children it's for my mother-in-law you think I feel like giving her a gift I tried ja beggar raises the being and making the list for everyone and in the end you ask yourself, what are you going to give yourself because I didn't have enough, sorry that I'm talking about something material, no, it's also a material gift, the best thing you could have given yourself was something else, but I learned so much from a fellow trainer, I learned a lot from him one day when we went to a conference and guadalajara we finished the conference one of a group and I say another group and we left we were going through a shopping center and suddenly they see a shirt in the window and they stop and look at the shirt like the one they wanted man in monterrey there is no minamikawa and also They accompany him, he got in, he was approved, he took it off, he gave it to the clerk and he said, wrap it for me as a gift, upload it like this, it's not the bow, not that little blue one. monkey the bar like that double the long bun long although well a drunk arrived last night I said I get in the taxi the man sits in the taxi we go in the taxi heading to the hotel I already told him hey and that gift maybe he tells me I'm going to give it to him give away right now we arrive at the hotel the man goes into the bathroom he leaves the gift upstairs on his bed he gets in and comes out and tells me that gift and I don't know there it was that he starts to open measures like the one we saw right now he gets in the way He tries and says how do I look?

I say it very well. Thank you, come on, Pelado, he came out with his gift. Sorry for putting something material, but nevertheless it is a reality. Many of us are good at giving him but not at giving each other. No one, absolutely no one gives what he doesn't have. This gives me a little preamble also to tell you that at some point in our life we ​​are unbearable for someone there is a syndrome that impacts me a lot is when I want to change someone I say to be able to change someone first you have to want to I said try it accept and love it and you will see that it is easier to change it, pamper it, but there is a syndrome that greatly impacts me that sometimes we make the false solution of wanting to use it in everything.

I call it the deaf ear syndrome. Does anyone know what this tremendous ear syndrome is? Deaf, what happens when the little boy yells at him, my little boy, why does this exist, get up, I don't want to see him again, and the child, what happens the next day, whoever left you here again like this, getting up, has told you a thousand times not to let me like, he's scared but not as much as yesterday a week you yell at him again to come and eat I'm talking to you low sion bay I'm going he's scared but not as much and at the cost of repeating it so much and in a moment the child is already shut up mom and I'll go man That it influenced me gets used to, and that's what generally happens when we try to change the other person by shouting.

The first day, he's scared, the second, like he's shocked. The third, what you have to trust, saw the fourth, says, "Don't be scrubbing yellow, don't do it." Many years will know more what he said that human beings have needs and that when we do not satisfy them or do not cover them, the human being changes and perhaps comes in order of importance but in order the typical one who handles there will be bad in his scale of needs says that all human beings have physical or physiological needs hunger thirst breathing sexuality shelter are needs that we have that when one of these fails the human being changes and sometimes changes for the worse there are especially women who when they bring hunger to abused boys take off o'reilly contains when hungry, feed him and he starts to smile second that human beings have a need for security when that need is not met when I see that there is no security when the employee sees that in the company there is no security with his position he begins to change you begin to Notice that you see him differently when he doesn't feel sure that you are truly accepting him.

He begins to change. They must have given that he was not wrong when he said that all human beings have a need for affiliation, to feel like a member of a group, to feel part of a family and that That family loves me, supports me, respects me, cares for me, all human beings need the affection of a louse of affection, all men and women need to be told things where we feel that they love us, it is a lie when someone says if they are going to love me. wanting to be loved as I am a man on behalf of the incoder that better alone than in bad company is a lie that human beings by nature require others and that all human beings have a need for self-realization or success, all of us, but here I call it the need for success, be careful, no. confuse success with the alleged economic situation, not success is that if I am going to make a fried egg, the yolk will not burst, success is that if I hold a meeting, people leave happy, that is what they call success, there are the five needs there they are. the five command needs why did he present this because behind a difficult person there is a difficult story whenever you deal with a difficult person there is a difficult story when I talk to school teachers where they tell me that you don't know the student I have in mind summer quarter no it is not a clot the little creature and the loads a little bit in his life and you realize that one of these five needs that I am going to discover again one of the five needs is not covered or you detect that the child does not have the need covered of security because because the parents fight a lot with each other and the child witnesses tremendous fights between the father and the mother and he arrives at school and in one way or another he changes because because he is witnessing something, these are situations that make him human beings change, I would ask that whenever you think of a person with a difficult character, you never forget that behind that person with a difficult character there is always a difficult story, sorry, I use the word always, but it is what I have seen in my entire life despite If you see that this situation is very good economically, but there has to be some reality or some fact that has caused that circumstance, how can we define the person with a difficult character, I am going to present you with a definition that I found, I really liked it.

I hope that you really like this definition that is going to appear on the screen: it says that he is a person with many complexes without needs.without resolving that it leads them to enlarge their images but they know at the cost of humiliating them from others. This is the best definition that I have found of a difficult person. Based on this definition, I will gladly share with you 10 types of people with difficult character nor are they the only ones but I dare say that they are the most common first type the possessive this type of person with a difficult character are these people who have two fundamental characteristics they want you to always be available and number two knows that they get very upset when We do not dedicate the time that they think they deserve and you will see how angry they get.

What do I recommend you do with these beings? I recommend that you do three things, number one. Look, don't try to wear yourself out to please. You won't be able to. The possessive will continue to do it. until he dies number 2, use your sense of humor when I have an argument because of that possibility that he has when you have an argument with the midwife, laughing, tell him that there are other people or other activities that you also have to dedicate time to. It is better that they are not as important as him but that he also has to dedicate time to them and 'number three' show from the appreciation that he has for them that if there is, if there is not, it is better to say, tell him that you love them very much, that they are very important beings in your life. but they are not the only people who need you second type this second type of difficult people I am sure you will remember someone we call this the ones with the sincere suddenly I am going to speak in feminine and suddenly I am going to speak the masculine if it comes out more feminine I apologize and I don't know why it makes me very natural but suddenly I'm going to speak in one way or another the sincere use sincerity to tell you everything that bothers them and you know that they hurt with their comments when someone or something doesn't seem right to them their phrase is look because I love you so much, my friend, I'm going to tell you this I know it's going to resonate with you look I know it's going to hurt you or it's for your own good they use sincerity as a flag but they hurt with their comments they do not use assertiveness to tell you the things that I recommend that you do with them explain to them assertively the difference between what is common and what is said I agree with what you told me what hurt me was like You told me and number 2, thank them if they are nice for the comment they made for your own good and change the subject look of thanks thank you very much for your comment I will take it into account and don't give them any more play say the word assertiveness because I think that sincere people that is what they lack I say in the sincere in quotes that being assertive being assertive is saying things in the right way at the right time and in the right place that for me being assertive in other words is the clear expression of your ideas your feelings or your emotions without harm to third parties but appropriate to each particular situation to people with this characteristic those who say that they are very sincere and that for your own good I tell you things and even if I cable you because I have no hair in my head language, sometimes what they lack is assertiveness, that is, saying things correctly without hurting.

Third characteristic or third type of difficult person. I call this the victim. I am going to give you those four characteristics that these little people have. Everything depresses them. exhausts and saddens them 15 agreed 2 use emotional blackmail to achieve their goals perhaps they do it unintentionally because it is already part of their nature if they are something like that it is them it is already part of their vocabulary it is already part of their personality of being Victim number 3 frequently talk about their misfortunes, how badly life has treated them, of the sad ones who woke up today, you ask them how it was at dawn and they turn around and tell you, well, I woke up, it's already profit and how are you, because I'm here suffering and crying in this valley that there is nothing more left for a mother than to suffer, agree if they had and number 4, these little people, the victims feel that everyone is against them or that no one understands them, man, or worse, a little bit, is that no one loves me, they take full advantage of me.

From my big heart those are phrases that these primitive beings use. You know that I recommend that those with the victims avoid asking them every time that happens to you why you have that face because more than hook number 2 do not participate in their negative comments you subtly change the subject talk about something positive that happened in the morning or how good today looks number 3 listen to them they deserve to be heard but don't get hooked and number 4 don't get worn out and know that I suggest you don't know feel guilty, analyze them and see that she is part of a personality that has to know, look at you, I remembered when we spoke to a victim on the phone after a long time of not speaking to her, the first thing they express when they answer the phone and identify you is go until What did you call here?

You have forgotten me. I said, well, what must have been done? These are phrases that use the fourth type of difficult person. This m called him hello. Indifferent to these, they care about everything that happens around them. They know what stage of life I see the most. characteristic in adolescence their opinions are generally very short or in order not to fight they know to avoid making a comment they remain silent they do not express their feelings they are not very sociable they know why they are not very sociable because they are generally afraid of being rejected or of being made a fool of and their favorite phrase You know which one it is, I don't know and it goes down the days we are indifferent or apathetic when it comes to expressing affection to the people we love the most when it comes to telling dad or mom I love you very much look we think about it a lot because because we already enter into an inertia like that I am, you don't want to change me, we are indifferent when it comes to sometimes expressing affection, even to our own children.

Say, yes, it is true. I am going to give another example of indifference and without meaning to, many husbands fall into this. We get home, the lady arrives and He asks us, as always, smiling, you see how they receive us many things. Do you want to have dinner? They ask with their best smile and you say yes, I'll make you dinner. We turn around and say whatever it is or that's all that I recommend that you do with the indifferent ones. I recommend. three things number one among their very short dialogues, I recommend that you look for something that you agree with and tell them go ahead, just as so-and-so said, I agree with him, this makes their self-esteem rise, number two, involve them with a hey, what do you think about This, although many times they will tell you and number 3, show them your appearance so that they feel confident and this helps them increase their self-esteem.

I reiterate, there is a story that has made them indifferent. Number 5, personality number 5. The critics of this type of personality make their point. point of view but generally this point of view is negative the favorite phrase is yes but number 3 they are convinced that everyone knows it and what they don't know because they invent it you know what I recommend you do with the critics I recommend two things just listen to them Number 2, do not get involved, use phrases like it is your opinion and I respect it, however I have a different opinion and you already remember your truth, my truth and the truth.

In any discussion there are three truths, yours, honey and the truth, let's see if between the two of us we arrive. To that truth number 6, this is what I call the communicative ones. Their favorite dish is, they know what it is to eat their neighbor deliciously raw and for dessert, plus these types of people talk about everything and everyone, they cannot keep a secret because the scheme, their favorite phrase is what they tell you. I say to you, comadre, but because it's you and because I know that it doesn't come out of here or look, I don't know whether to tell you because well, no no no no, but well, I'm going to tell it to you only because because of the trust we have in each other, you would trust someone. person who continually tells you, I'm going to tell you but only to you, but please don't tell anyone because of course no one wants to trust people like that.

The treatment that I recommend with these people is to avoid discussing topics. personal or worse, avoid sharing your feelings with those people, just listen to them and change this topic, avoid questioning the attitude they have, be very careful about having them as enemies, better take them but don't have them as enemies. I say this because many of us are very prone to doing this with the communicatives on sheets you remember that you took a seminar of this type or a conference of this type you get up indignant or indignant and you turn around and say I'm leaving here you ball of vipers and you get that worse a little bit because you made enemies better not to do it issues subtly change the subject or if they are eating someone in the conversation, then I recommend that what you do with them is to subtly talk something positive about the person in question or simply, as I said, that moment change the topic number 7 the fickle three characteristics have These people are strange people, they make comments that are out of place and out of order.

They can be your best friend but at the same time your worst enemy. I recommend what you do with these people. Don't get involved in complicated topics or topics that lend themselves to discussion. Avoid confronting them and also tell them. On the other hand, if they say green and you see something green, the color is possible, so it looks like half green. The problem is, they don't tell you white and it's black. You know what I recommend you do there. You tell them, well, I see it as black, but if you believe which is white in our opinion and we can just cope with it until there number 8 the obsessive everything clean and tidy wants to remind me of a party generally they want everything to be done as they say what I recommend we do with these people are three things show them that there are others ways to do things, tell them that you admire their cleanliness and I also recommend that you use a sense of humor.

These people do not come from such a square world, let them relax and when things are not done as they say, hold on to the number 9 penultimate, the aggressive one, their character. He is strong and his humor is explosive. They want everything to be done as they say and if they do not explode, they do not easily demonstrate their feelings for the image that they themselves have created. Their favorite phrase is life. For the good, I am very good, but for the bad, don't even look for me. You know what I recommend you do with them, that is where love is most applied as a flag.

Listen, you have to agree that you understand their discomfort. You understand that they are angry, but what I don't agree with is the way you express or how You explode from understanding that with his words he loves others, the aggressive one, unfortunately, is such a common personality, it is so easy that we all get angry and explode because of situations that are sometimes irremediable because of situations that are going to continue happening. I have two ways to understand that this makes me It happened and no matter how brave I am, I won't be able to avoid it or explode and make a fool of myself because you stop what we say when we are angry and then we regret it.

On one occasion I had the opportunity. I will go to a circus with my children. I will. Let's share because I met an aggressive man par excellence. Let's see who he remembers when they talk to you or when he arrives next to me. I had a man who I was with with three children. They saw his character and the way he spoke to them. Shut up, leave your sister. but mystique already knows me because thanks to that tone of voice I know why they bring that up I don't buy you pigeons I don't buy you pigeons big hands and we like children bad but like they didn't know anymore they already regretted Lucas they already had syndrome with deaf ears and shut up, shut up, shut up or you're leaving, he's looking at me in Lyon and the environment, the man continued with his hysteria and the children, as if they weren't fighting, then the show starts and suddenly the clowns come out and tell you nothing's worth it with my children.

For some reason my wife turns around and tells me, "Laugh with the patient with great pleasure. I don't know if you are one of these, but when I was on my way to this theater, I ran into three of these. I call them the cafres. I don't know if I'm here." It is better to use the term feminine because every day I see more ladies driving like browns, they demonstrate their aggressiveness and rudeness when driving. Obviously, let's not generalize, they like to fight and argue with whoever is in front of them and they believe that they are the only ones who are in a hurry, these are They feel like they are owners of the road or the street.

I'm going to give a very simple example like the one I had a moment ago. You go to you in the right lane. You go at a moderate speed. You look in your rearview mirror and see that a vehicle is coming, well, about 15 minutes away. meters back politely you turn on the signal to change lanes and obviously the person behind you speeds you up I say if you are informing you are warning that I am not going to change lanes let's use courtesy tell me how you drive and I will tell you how you are to analyze you those people who drive aggressively and throw parents in your footsteps are generally like that in their personal life and also the opposite, see you generally those ladies who drive with but driving and the direction at the end and they put their hand out like that to the right and if it crosses them Someone, sir, be careful, that's how they are in your personal life, see it yourself and tell me if it's true, what I recommend you do when you come across a traffic jam, obviously brake and ignore it or don't get worn out or say the wrong thing, let those pass by and you also know that you I recommend using mental therapy, for which I am very grateful.

A friend who shared it with me on one occasion told him that I get desperate when he touches me with pachorra in front of me. Lord, God relies on many means to slow down our progress. I hope that everyone meditates on what I just said. I know that not on angels. I do want that on what God relies on people to slow us down or to accelerate them. I hope. Let everyone meditate on this and I hope that we all also meditate on this, that in order to treat peopledifficult that fundamental tool that is the sense of humor will always be liked a happy person a smiling person lives longer a person who smiles and laughs manages to better deal with the problems they have interpersonally you know the one about Mr.

Sink I'll tell you this given delivers of tea is a man who was always cold and happy as the fly tse and scrub and scrub the soup this cold dental chalice there is the lady yes my life of those submissive anegadas like all of you here is the soup here where is the one who is goal now I'm coming potatoes corn goal to do those gentlemen who are always standing and frying and listening 75 years and the man did not take pity alive the total unfortunate that at 78 the man takes pity and don frega betis dies after a lifetime of scrub gum dies and there are few people watching over him at the wake because he was not a very big box office few people only small bouquets there were no big wreaths and they were watching over him and suddenly one of the older sons goes to see his father at the box now you see that the glass is in the box, the box is open and the video and the older brother looks out to see his father who is his father.

For the brother, come and see, mate, so that Asuma can reach you, the older brother is the one from the funeral home. We're going to take us to the sinks. Don't wait a little bit. Please, let the brother look out to see his dad and the glass will break. It fogs up and it clears up and it fogs up and it clears up and that of the brother like this we are going to talk to him love love come they were from Allende love come to come to hand and let them take it come more come so 5 we are going to take away the brothers are waiting for us so much let them stay here for all the brothers surrounding the box and the sisters come more or I'll look out to know what they are for says love looks out with his glasses there are fools I was trembling the old unfortunate man sucked him scrubbing if they will have he looks out he'll see the dad at the husband, there the glass fogs up and fogs up and dissipates and he says, mistress, grabbing the box upwards to mom, it feels like a pain to me breathing, it feels like a pain in the ass, the lady straightens up like she hasn't in many years.

He was doing and seeing the seven brothers he says well one thing I tell you he said the one who opens that box takes care of him it was the one who said water more you see how the assimilated people get sorted and the lady seeing the seven like that who was talking and says the older brother, grabbing the box, he doesn't love grabbing the lid of the box, it seems to me that the one he threw is pure figuration, but many thanks to all the people who did the favor and honor of coming to this theater and of it and seeing it full, I would like to tell you that I am very happy and above all very grateful to see this beautiful response that we had in this city and not just that but seeing the humility of many people who sit zemeckis and who today recognize that they are the difficult ones, not just that they already have tools or techniques to put them into practice starting today with those people who in one way or another make our lives difficult but who also help us grow, help us transcend those people difficult people will help us to be better people ourselves because we will have strength, humility and above all we will have patience to cope.

I want to summarize them in something very important behind a difficult person there is a difficult story the best way to treat a person. difficult person is to analyze the reasons why that person is difficult, make a list of all the characteristics that you have to be. Then I ask you, with all the humility in the world, to look for two or three qualities that they have. I know that you are going to struggle a lot because the veil pride does not let me see them, generally the pride or anger that I bring against that person does not let me see their characteristics, that is the biggest obstacle that exists when dealing with a difficult person, but you know that I recommend you analyze it, wait for a moment of peace. of tranquility and with all the patience and humility in the world, recognize what their qualities are.

The most difficult door to the heart is because of their qualities. When you recognize a quality in a difficult person, that person begins to change. They want to know what the key is. of that person's heart is when at the right moment and with the maximum possible humility you acknowledge something to that person and tell them about you, I admire this a lot or I like your way of being. In this, when you use it, it is the heart of that person. Open it and later you can begin to treat it with some of the techniques that we saw here.

I sincerely hope that this talk has been to the liking of all of you. You cannot imagine the great joy I feel for this warm reception that I had in this city. but let's see all of us again next time I always say goodbye with a thought I want you to be the exception this thought you are going to like it a lot it is an old Irish prayer that says so may the road come to meet you may the wind always blow from back, may the sun shine warmly on your face, may the rain gently descend on your fields, and until we meet again, may God be held gently in the palm of his hand, thank you very much and see you very soon.