Blind Pasta Sauce Taste Test

Today we determine, once and for all, which is the best store-bought

pasta

sauce

. Let's talk about that. ♪(intro music)♪ Good morning mythical. One of the best things that nature has given us is

pasta

. - MMM. But what is pasta without

sauce

? They are just the roots of the pasta tree. The perfect carburetor. I'm trying to act like I think pasta grows on trees, or at least it's connected to a plant and it's roots. Go with that. However, I understand that it is not something natural. You have to take things from nature and turn them into pasta, and I love it.

Who doesn't love pasta? Low carb people don't like it. What's wrong with you? You are missing out. But the best way to enjoy pasta is with a little sauce, - (simulates the sound of drinking) - but how can you choose? How do you know which sauce is best? Well, look at this and imagine us... - Find out while we find out. - Discover us. - Discover us. Please do that. - That will be a challenge. - (team laughs) - It's time to, ♪(sports music)♪ (Link) What pasta sauce in a jar (Link) will turn out like the star pasta sauce?

So we will try a wide variety of sauces that you can get in the market. From the bottom shelf to the top shelf. From very expensive and gourmet, to very affordable, if not cheap. - But! - But we won't know what we're

test

ing. It's going to be

blind

. But we won't have to

blind

ourselves, because they're just putting it in jars. - Good. - And we

test

it, and based solely on our oral experiences, we will rank them in a tournament style to determine the salsa champion available. All we know is a sort of word bank of sauces we're going to try, including Ragu, Prego, Bertolli, Newman's Own, Emeril's, Rao's, Mario Batali and Dave's gourmet.

It better be gourmet, if the title says gourmet. Let's do it. ♪(sports music)♪ Okay, here are the first two sauces. Basically, we're going to drink them, we're going to try them with the patent pending sauce straw, the sau straw. (Link) It looks like some kind of artificial heart mechanism. So, we have to... We both have to create some kind of vacuum. Now I go just for pleasure. I mean, I can say there is a slight consistency difference in these, but I'm just going by

taste

. Which is the best? Well, your... The air in the tube has an unpleasant

taste

. - Oh my God! - (team laughs) Every time I made out with that CPR dummy, - (Link) that's what I knew. - (the team laughs) The one from your mom's work?

My mom trained to be a paramedic and you had to do mouth to mouth. And you made out with that? Well, I did CPR on him when no one was looking. - (crew laughs) - You did French CPR. (In French) Oui, oui. There's nothing to compare it to, but that's... - It has pieces of tomato. - It's sweet, it has pieces. Now, I think you have to give back a little. Yes, I have to return it. Okay, that doesn't work. Okay, then let it... Let it sit like this. Take your straw sau. Well. It tastes like Annie.

Her name was Annie. (Crew laughs) Oh, this one is, uh... This one is much more, um, Smoothy-ized. It's mixed. It's not that thick. - (Link) It doesn't taste much different. - (Rhett) Mmmm. It's not that good. It has much more flavor, although it is not good. It has more flavor, but it's not a good flavor. Wow, woof, woof! Try it again. This is better. This is much better. (Crew laughs) Oh, yeah. This one is much better. Yeah, I told you, man. That one tastes like... - I don't know who this guy is. -He's like an old man...-but he's a loser. - That's like something that's been left out for a while. - This one here is the winner. - Win the first round.

Take this off. ♪(sports music)♪ Okay, then, another group. Two new sauces. These look very different. Let's go with mine first in this case. Oh my god, Annie. Where have you been hanging out, Annie? They called her Annie. You know, on that Smooth Criminal, he was like, ♪Annie, are you okay? Annie, are you okay?♪ That's what you would say before doing CPR. Oh, so that has cheese. - Oh, that's right. - That has cheese, man. - I have something chewy. - I don't know if it's just the redneck in me that likes something when you add cheese flavor to it.

Do you want parmesan with that? Yes. I think putting cheese on it makes it cheap. It's an easy way to make it awesome. But I like it. Everyone needs to prepare these things. Wait. This tastes like soup. This tastes like vegetable soup, man. There are like beans floating there. Oh, he tastes like someone poured a teaspoon of mud on him. I think it's clear that we don't like this one, eh? - Look, look, look! - (the crew laughs) They are attacking me. Oh! All right, leave this for Annie. That's not good. This one wins this round.

Outside. ♪ (sports music) ♪ Now I realize I need to slow down, drinking so much sauce. - Yes. Because I've been drinking a lot. - It tastes like pizza sauce. - It's like Pomodoro sauce. Do you even know what that is? It is lighter. It is more acidic. Not bad. - It has a seafood-like background. - Not bad. Seafood? Oh, this is thin. Check it out. This is cheap, man. This is cheap. - You can look at it. - Yes. This is crap from Ragu. Oh! Oh my God! Hey, no... You're just assuming that. Ragu may be the best, man.

I think this is Ragu and I think it's bad. He could be wrong on both. Ragu, prove me wrong. If you are Ragu, speak. This tastes like the inside of...Ravioli. Like a Play-Doh machine. You know what I'm talking? - Oh yeah. - Like, not from the tube. Not Annie's, but like pasta sauce it has its own manufacturing. He tastes like the facilities in which it was made. That one is definitely better. ♪(sports music)♪ - Okay. - I'm getting a... That's all Annie's air I've ever inhaled. You know, it's actually the putrid air. I feel like it's...

What... What are... I'm just setting it up for you, since you were talking. (Crew laughs) I'll drink your urine, but I won't drink after you. I feel like I've already tried it, but I know I haven't. (Link) This one tastes exactly the same as another one that was good, but I think lost. This one also tastes like vegetable soup. That's quality. - Do you think this is quality? - I think it's quality. - (Link) (in a high tone) Hmmm. That's good. Very soft. (Link) I like this one. I think this is Newman. -Newman is making an appearance for him. -But he looks how well he is. - It looks cheap. - Yes, it looks cheap, but it tastes amazing.

Let's go back. This is bad now. - Yes, that's bad. This is great. - That's wrong. Because this isn't sweet, it has some sweetness to it that makes you want to come back for more. But I think we may be choosing the best Southern sauce. - I think that's what's happening. - Well, we could be the best rednecks. (laughs) Hey! ♪(sports music)♪ Okay, now we move on to the semi-finals. We have tried them. Both were winners in the first round. Did you know? Annie is gone. - She's completely gone. - Annie left the building. There's just sauce in there. - Cheese. - It's the cheese. -(laughs) -The cheesy man is back.

This must be Ragu, right? Chef Boyardee? He ain't got no pasta sauce, man. Chef Boyardee in this piece. It's like canned ravioli. Did you know? Although it's starting to look cheap to me. - There aren't many dollars in that one. - Yes. Really working our sucking muscles. This is some quality sauce, man. This is imported. This was not done in the United States. - Is that from Italy? - This was made in Italy. I can say. It's like you can taste the culture, the art and the tomatoes. This one here was made in Wisconsin. - Yes. - (crew laughs) - It tastes like Indianapolis. - They put cheese on everything there.

And I'll say it's really good, but I feel like I'm... - It's too cheesy. - I'm rewarding a bad part of me - when I like that, you know? - (Link) Hm mm. - Yes, let's send this one to the final. - Definitely. ♪(sports music)♪ I feel like I'm eating a lot of pasta sauce, but I feel like it's exactly the same amount I would eat if I ate two large plates of spaghetti. - But without the spaghetti. - No spaghetti. Maybe we're onto something. Oh, Annie's back. She is. I think it's... This is so cheap that he won't be able to get rid of Annie.

He can't get Annie out of the tube. - That's soft, sweet... - Cheap. Gorgeous. I love it. This is the one I think she loved before. You liked it, but I'm starting to realize that it has a lot of added sugar, which is a sign... Again, you want to give it to the southern sauce? Or do you want to give it to the one who is best for the people? Alright, I hear you. It's very sweet. - Probably too sweet. - There's added sugar, man. Added sugar. That's diabetes sauce. That's weak! (Link) Phew! Damn! This is not good, man. - It got bad. - Theory on this... - Has been omitted. - (Rhett and the team laugh) How did it get so bad?

No no no. Theory on this one: - This is a high-end sauce. - Too tall. They were... They jumped over it. They lost. Listen, Dave's Gourmet, whoever you are, you're like Icarus. You flew too close to the sun, - Yes. - and you got burned. And I know you're charging extra for this. I know this is expensive, I can taste the expensive, in the flavors. - Too hard. Try too hard. But you failed. And you know what? I bet it was imported from abroad, but something happened on the ship. - Yes, and we will send it back. - Yes. ♪ (sports music) ♪ Very good, Mythical Beasts.

It all comes down to this. The championship round. - This versus this. - (silly voice) This versus this. Prego versus Newman himself. I don't know. Now we are introducing a new gadget. This is the Salsa Straw Duo, also known as the Lady and the Tramp edition. I have been told that it requires very strong sucking. We have to get a lot of vacuum power here. Here we go. Go. (Crew laughs) Wait, we're fighting each other. Yeah come on. (tense sounds) How did you do that? I'm going to have to work on this. You want me to send it to you... send it to me.

Send it to me. (Rhett and crew laugh) (clears throat) - Here's how... - I didn't say you sent it first class. Morning-after air! Damn! (laughs) That's how it works, man. Teamwork! They both stink to get to this point, and then they start blowing. So suck again and fill it again. (Link and the team laugh) - You just got air. - That was... - You gotta load the sauce, man. - You load it with sauce. - I just had Link air in my mouth. - Like, charge it. Charge your side. They both charge. They both charge. Put it in this tube. (Link) Okay. - I have a little more right now. - Okay, blow. (Link and crew laugh) This has really changed the experience for me.

I'm not enjoying it as much as before. - No. - We'll have to include instructions with the Lady and the Tramp edition. But remember that, that's very sweet. Now, I mean, you can just plug your end. But what's so fun about that? (Rhett) Wait, now that it's there, let me blow it in your mouth. (everyone laughs) - You ruined everything there. - What is it? I think... Something's stuck. Suck it. (Link) (repeats) Hm mm, hm mm. (Rhett makes an affirmative sound) (crew laughs) That's the best sauce, man. - That's the best sauce. - That's the best sauce.

This is too sweet, and we know we're going to be a cheapskate with this one. - (Rhett) Yes. That's all. This is the best pasta sauce... - This is the best sauce on the planet. - What can you buy, of the eight we tested. I'm pretty dizzy right now, but I think we made a good decision. (Both) Bring it. Let's see what it was. ♪(sports music)♪ - (laughs) - Prego beat Emeril! Are you kidding me? Is that Prego I threw under the bus? - No, you threw Ragu. - (Link) Okay, okay. Because Prego is the best sauce there is.

Emeril has been throwing some weird stuff into his. Emeril, man, not bad. Congratulations big Em, you got second place, but Mr. Prego, he's done it once again. He is not a sponsor. I know what you want to think. You want to think Prego sponsored this, but they didn't. We just sucked them through a tube and decided they were the best. That's how it works sometimes. Good job, for these two guys. Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing. Do you know what time it is. - Hello, I'm Lorenzo. - And I am Morso. - And we are from Italy. - And it's time to spin (both of us) the Wheel of Mythology.

Remember, we just launched Mythic Ointment. This is what we put in our hair every day. Available on Amazon and BeardAndLady.com. Links in description. Also, check out Good Mythical Crew this week, tomorrow morning, where you can watch Lizzie make a very special pasta sauce for us. Click Good Mythical More. We're going to try this sauce, they haven't told us what it is, so I'm a little nervous. Wow! - ♪(ringing music and fanfare)♪ - Hey! Congratulations to... (Rhett) Tabatha, A.K.A. swayaandglow on Twitter. (Link) You'll win a 'Will it?' poster! - Will it be a poster? - Yes.

It's going to. For you.