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Beer in Video Games

Feb 20, 2020
Beer Beer Beer Beer Back on my highs...university days uhhuhu nonsense, when I didn't drop out I was known to frequent the Summer Shandies. The Edward Forty Handies. The light of the midnight moon. Bud Light, Coors Light, Dandies. Fuck. But whenever I go out with my friends, I usually end up taking on the role of mother hen. Any of you mother hens out there will know exactly what I'm talking about in a second. Basically, all your friends get belligerently drunk early in the evening and it's up to you to make sure they don't run off into the woods saying, Fuck you, Jacob, I'm going camping. and finally you find them in the middle of the forest sitting on a fucking rock, and they look at you like YOU are the idiot.
beer in video games
How does it look? I'm fucking camping. That really happened. I don't want to name any names, but I love you, Jim. So while I had my crazy days goofing around with my friends in a small town in South Dakota, most of my best

beer

-related memories were simply spent playing

video

games

with hot guys and gamer girls. Because at least then I could get drunk and shit and wet my friends with DK and not chase them into the woods like I was a drunk Blair Witch Project. Shout out to all the mother hens out there. But then I have to think, what about the

beer

?
beer in video games

More Interesting Facts About,

beer in video games...

IN

video

games

? You know, what kind of representation do we have for our virtual colds? There are a lot of games with alcohol and most of them treat them exactly the same way: Oh no, my vision is all wiggle, woo, woo, crazy, fuck! We all know that being drunk involves a lot more than just so many emotional words. Oh, someone increased the motion blur! Yes, your vision changes, but so does your movement. Your communication. Your special abilities. For example, there are many things I would do or say when buzzed that I wouldn't do when sober. In fact, some video games do a novel job of recognizing unlocked drunk talent.
beer in video games
Conker gets drunk several times in Bad Fur Day mainly so he can pee and vomit and save his girlfriend. He hiccups, he staggers. He makes a sad little slapping motion. Now we are cooking with beer. Where, in the Fallout games, beer temporarily increases charisma and strength, but reduces intelligence. This is interesting because there is some truth to it. When I'm sober I know I can't lift a refrigerator. but, Jakey drunk. He tried to throw away a refrigerator like it was a pigskin. And then if you get addicted to shit and crash and become a virtual alcoholic, your charisma decreases unless you have a good effect.
beer in video games
Okay, I'm sorry I said alcoholic, alcoholism is no joke and I'm sorry for being insensitive. ...but I'm also a little drunk, so fuck it. I like that Fallout acknowledges a few other aspects of alcohol besides oh no, my glasses are off. The voice actress for the main character in Fallout 4 even slurs her words sometimes when she gets drunk. It's fucking fun. Yes, yes, mmhmhmm. Playmates will also say shit if you drink in front of them. Screw you, Piper! Fuck you robot! Screw you, X6! If that's the case, we're about to be related because I... ...you understand. mmm My wish is that if you drink a beer in an RPG like Fallout or Mass Effect, you not only get new speech options that were hidden, but it's a fucking gamble which one you're going to say.
Because that's how it is in real life. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to say when I'm drunk. Maybe this is how you unlock new side quests, like one where your partner runs off into the woods because "they're going camping." Through the hatch. I have never done this without shoes. Let's see how this feels In Grand Theft Auto 4, not only does Niko slur his words when he gets drunk, but he also becomes difficult to control and is really entertaining. Red Dead Redemption is exactly the same. Hello mate. Could you... could you tell me where the law is?
I'm the sheriff of this area. Damn, what really makes me sick to my stomach is when a character in a video game OBVIOUSLY has a drinking problem, but he doesn't carry over into the game at all. A big part of Max Payne 3 is that Max is a pure alcoholic. He is bad. So he drinks during the scenes and does all that cosmic, dizzy brownie nonsense. But when it comes to gameplay, Alcoholic Pain doesn't need alcohol. Just some special medicine for bullet holes. Do you know from his bones? That they have bullet holes? For example, if I leave the game on and run some errands for a couple of hours, check mail, do laundry, pet a random dog.
I'll be back - Okay! Just standing there monologuing some more about his fucking dead wife. I get a little numb when I drink, I'll be honest. So what's my point? You know, what's the point? fwfhw What's the point? Beer is a pretty important part of the real world, so it would be cool to see it... more portrayed better in the video gaaaaaah. I don't know, I'm not MatPat! I'm fucking drunk! Well, okay, that's it, uhhhh-h-h Let me know in the comments which games I didn't talk about that contain beer. I'm going to try to do the thanks now.
Damn shit, dude, okay, okay, I can do this, I can do this... All the boys, all the boys, all the bo- damn shit, dude.

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