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Batman Forever - Nostalgia Critic

Jun 08, 2021
this episode brought to you by the black tuxedo premium rental suits and tuxedos delivered oh wow I'm the

nostalgia

critic

I remember it so you don't have to make it out of me Oh hot entry

critic

, however, I let you know that my interest in No Are you purely professional or do I need tight vinyl and a whip bell. You fucking professional. Why are you just acting so horny? I'm just representing how a gay man disconnected from straight women thinks. Ask why you're suddenly a very annoying white guy, I'll tell you right after I finish mugging for the camera critic, it's your old friend Joe, oh the scoffer, the steel chickadees have gone too dark to some spectators.
batman forever   nostalgia critic
I'm here to do it more. colorful and kid friendly nipple Isha, you won't get away with this tease. I know you don't like it, but I was just doing what the studio demanded, yes, but I apologize. I'm just trying to make something more colorful for the kids. Oh, you don't need to apologize. I understand that you're frustrated, but why don't we sit down and talk about it over some herbal tea? Okay, that sounds great, although I won't put it past the fact that you're a decent person. Being human, face the fact that you do horrible shit, you're Earl Grey, oh I look great, that's my favorite, no, I need someone who won't fall for your kindness.
batman forever   nostalgia critic

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batman forever nostalgia critic...

I need a geek, an angry geek, a lot of angry geek, real explosion. yeah, I feel like there are a lot of angry geeks, millions, okay, I don't know why it's called that, either of them knock on my storage closet all the time, don't judge me too much, okay, knocker, it's time, it's Time to put it into your madness now don't be, why don't I order us some lattes and we can sit down and discuss artistic styles and interpretations? He's very nice, we made a whole dress about how your style ruined Batman Forever, you did it, yeah and it's still available for anyone to buy cameos from Mike Nelson Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett.
batman forever   nostalgia critic
The good times are just a click away. Well, that was recorded years ago, it's not possible to find any fault with Batman Forever. Now why don't I know? I needed a segue into the review, yeah there are like a million jokes about this movie, yeah we should probably start with Batman Forever after the huge success of 1989. The producers of Batman were excited to see if the sequel to Batman Returns would give such a big financial hit. The film did not live up to what the studio wanted and many parents complained that it was too dark for children, which resulted in child-friendly products being recalled, particularly McDonald's Happy Meal toys, not wanting to see them again.
batman forever   nostalgia critic
Going through it, the studio pushed director Tim Burton into a producer role and handed control to Joel Schumacher, agreed to make the third installment Batman Forever more lighthearted and marketable and it seemed to pay off, as it made more money than the installment. former. Schumacher is best known for his subsequent epic ice puns. but a lot of people ignore the load of nonsense that Batman Forever is apparently giving it a pass, we're here to see if that pass is justified or if it deserves to be thrown into Snyder's pile of what you already know, let's take a look.
Given this madness of Bechet with Batman Forever after being assaulted by the big names in this film, he interprets that as you will see we will see Batman played this time by Val Kilmer preparing to write a Batmobile so fat that even HR Giger's original design looks like less of a penis. II and if you think they're not going to correct the Happy Meal tie-in from the last movie too much, take a look at this actual opening line. Can I convince you to take a sandwich with you? I didn't set the bar low from the beginning, it's such a strange line, it's clear we did it just for a McDonald's ad.
Can I convince you to take a sandwich, sir? I'll order tomatoes to go, crisp lettuce, two cheeses on a superhero. But it doesn't fit the movie at all, the only way it could work is if it were literally followed by this. Can I convince you to take a sandwich, sir? I'll get you two cheeseburgers, large fries and me. I put out a movie, so give me anything plastic with my face on it. You have bingo. Batman leads the second Gotham Bank in Chinatown as a crime boss named Two-face played by Tommy Lee Jones instead of Billy Dee Williams, only the best. of art forms remedy this, you know, I love the Italian mobster because he's robbing a bank and juggling his dual personality as a district attorney and a purple monkey, you know, Tommy Lee Jones told Jim Carrey that he hated him because he couldn't sanction his buffoonery.
The blood drained from his face and he hugged me and said: I hate you. I can't approve of your buffoonery. It makes sense to me. I'm just wondering how acid can turn half your face into purple plastic latex, as you can probably guess, it often flips a coin. to decide who lives and who dies fortune smiles another day of wine and roses I mean I will kill you later babbling that you live a few minutes I am a district attorney I can always find a loophole that man arrives on the scene to meet with the psychiatrist dr.
Chase Meridian played by Nicole Kidman High Entry, a dedicated professional, as you can see, Goren is trying to figure out how to save the hostages inside, but Batman has bigger problems to face, like convincing a stranger that bats don't They are rodents. He could write hell. from an article about a grown man who dresses like a flying rodent oh no you didn't, gambling isn't rodents dr. Meridian you are interesting, your ability to search the wiki intrigues me, by the way, do you know the first or do they just call you camas? Oh, what about a bank robbery?
Oh yeah, that's totally fine, no dr. Sure enough, Batman bursts in and fights a gang of Mexican wrestlers who are also trying to get the cameraman a tripod. Does that device turn people into Roger Rabbit? Oh, apparently it's extended to music to allow the composer to run out of money, so we just ran. The impostor he faces lifts the vault into the air, filling it with acid to rain down on the people of Gotham and its multicolored windows. The medieval era is more civilized with the use of its colors. He uses his grappling hook to break the incredibly weak concrete that is also supporting a giant metal safe because it's suddenly the strongest concrete in the world.
He knew that they shouldn't have used this to confront. He flies his helicopter towards the Gotham II Statue. It was a gift from the French metropolis. They both jump out with Two-Face and Batman. time leading up to can we just start a useless slow motion countdown of Schumacher? Well, if I could start an open mouth valve count, but that clashes with my Christian Bale open mouth count, let's see the menu if you share the slow motion count with an excited Jim Carrey doing a face count, he pulled one fart and you can share Val Kilmer's open mouth count with Christian Bale's open mouth count and who gets the bad news we all know.
Harvey Two-Face is still at large and extremely dangerous. Wow Batman. the animated series didn't age well that's supposed to look realistic idk it's not that they introduced jim carrey as edward nygma eh names so ridiculous that even the animated series refused to believe he didn't He just made it up. you mean a joke about his name his name is edward nygma enigma edward edward nygma look at us at first i thought carrier's portrayal of nygma was too over the top but after internet culture and fandom blew up yeah it might be too much subtle, something was haunting. with Bruce Wayne and wants him to approve his device that transmits television signals directly to the human brain.
I'm more sorry than the answer: not altering people's brain waves, mind manipulation, it just sounds like cable news, it just raises too many questions, what's the least you can do? it actually marks the second when his heart breaks in half. Bruce sees the Bat-signal and uses the bathroom pipe to transport himself to the Batcave, which must have been a lot of fun for the builders. Alfred leaned back much later. Getting that chair ready, Darkie I really don't see any problem getting up with that getting ready guy. This is a really comfortable chair. Turns out the call came from Dr.
Meridian Commissioner Gordon he's home I sent you a signal don't trust me you're sending all the signals and that's why we're engaging in one line theater you're trying to get under my cloak doctor a girl can't leave just because of psychosis it's the right car to hit the car oh I know they're opening in line for the next movie black rapper try to be less of a firefighter to take off this is sexual harassment and I don't have to take it my life is a book open you read, I'll bring you the wine you bring your marked psyche or I need a tight vinyl interior with a lady what's your PhD and bad pick up lines, now that I think about it, what was I shaking before?
Commissioner Gordon blocking them from showing up in their pajamas, there's no false alarm, right? I sure wish there was an emergency just so I could watch him fight crime in his pajamas. Oh, you saw my director's megamouth cut as she kidnaps his boss and uses his device on him. Yes, you made Spike 3D and because this movie is not subtle. Clearly, dignity has been returned to the dark night after stealing his brainwaves. Nygma kills his boss and is shown the most cinematic courtroom spectacle ever seen. Maroni was horribly scarred, although Batman attempted to save him. The dents left brain damage.
Well, there you have it, one third of the Darkness. Knight's movie condensed into two sentences, shouldn't he want to get revenge on the crime boss? Also, Batman testifies in court. Is he a valid witness if no one knows who he is? He simply raises too many questions. Bruce hasn't given a riddle to him in his office afterwards. it's revealed that nygma's boss appears to have jumped to his death, greatest commissioner ever, meanwhile we see wayne enterprises apparently handing out really shitty paychecks while nygma's house cuts up someone else's closet is being used to send more threatening riddles first take one of them to a professional hmm doctor Meridian find out the rest Bruce, there are threatening sounds here from our office, but it seems like she was just doing her usual boxing in the office before a session, are you Are you sure he's supposed to be the one looking crazy here and of course he makes her come in? profound advice from an expert at this point, I would actually trust Wakko more than you, his only escape may be to purge the fixation, so not only is he a madman but you have come to the conclusion that he is a boy .
I think we established that he's not a good psychiatrist the two of them hit it off I guess they more play iSpy obvious symbolism in the room you have a weakness for bats she's a dream keeper from Malaysia she protects you from bad dreams and he invites her to the Gotham charity circus a Joel Schumacher movie you say Schumacher, who looks at men the same way Michael Bailey looks at women and men, the more I think about it, this is where we are introduced to the flying Graysons, one of them who soon he will be Robin, the 25-year-old wonder boy.
I'm 15 guys, I like Pokémon or whatever, but Two-Face interrupts the televised circus performance, you know those regular circus performances you see all the time on TV, and tells the crowd that if he doesn't reveal himself Batman's identity, he blow everyone up Batman bruised broken Grace is trying to stop the bomb but Two Faces shoot them dead leaving only one dick Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb The day is saved but young Grayson stays without a family to show Schumacher's understanding of this tremendous loss we immediately cut to a horse helping Iraq.
Okay, I'm out of here, excuse me. Okay, imagine telling that cop that I'd stay here for a while, save me a truckload of Social Service and charity interviews, so, no offense. but no thanks, well you're legally an adult so do what you want. Your dose of two faces I want to kill him. Feeling two-faced won't take away the pain, it will make things worse. I mean, it felt great when I killed. the Joker, but it probably wouldn't look good on you. Bruce forgot about your parents and fixed my bike, which Deck immediately agrees to, but it looks like Batman is being called to an emergency that will never be addressed, so Alfred is left in charge of Bruce's cock.
I know. what I said is this Robin, my brother's wire, brother, he swung and grabbed it, my father said I was here, I flew like a Robin, some hero, I turned out to be, but your father was right the first time, of anyway, meanwhile, two-sided ambushes. Batman on his path to crime will never see, as he is once again presented with the damn strongest grappling hook tune in the world next time, children, the same Bechet impossibility, the same Bechet way, meanwhile , nygma is trying to find outwhat to call his alternate identity, but his Geico caveman. The puppet apparently has an idea, thanks.
I'll be the green light bulb in the meantime, you come out double-faced in his split lair, yeah that's complex since the character is going to upgrade people, apparently the real lair is waiting there too, don't mind me. I'll be waiting for Director Cystic's ass to tell me. I made your favorite, a stir, no and grain alcohol. Harness Drew Barrymore calls it a starter, we're in doubt about what to eat first, the big white bulb that the river comes out of, literally hidden, he says. he can help him kill

batman

if two-face lets him live

batman

post did you enjoy my pig impression?
The combination of Max Headroom and a green skin tells Face that if he puts his device on every TV in the city, he will help him get it. Two-Face Batman reluctantly agrees, reluctant to him or my silence, they robbed every place they could to mass produce his invention. Oh, his superpower of magically shrinking diamonds and editing was associated with this new criminal pattern of marking his crimes with puzzles like Gothamites. calling him the Riddler when they call him the con artist. I mean, obviously the Riddler-type character exists in this world because of all the toys Mingma had, so why don't people recognize him?
It would be like a killer using a spider-man. disguise and call himself, Red Lobster and I'm sure that would be a better name how my spiders are red you I need a tuxedo but I'm too busy to go somewhere with people to be too busy talking to this wall, so I'm convinced as an online audience , well that's why I contacted Black Tux Comm so they could mail me a wall. Thanks postman, I wasn't actually there. Carton box. You said you were sending me a lying Tatsu. Oh, there's a tuxedo in the box. This means that everyone wants to look good for that special event, but they also don't want to shell out a ton of money for it.
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critic comm slash that's right, just go to black tux consolation nostalgia creek and you'll get $20 off your purchase now. I'm ready for my incredibly big event, some people still see snow as a special occasion visit the black tux comm rental premium suits and tuxedos delivered pigma gets enough money to sell his device and even finally gives it a name the box in every home in America is a toner edward nygma 3d boxes is a cone critics I have claimed that the box rotates, I have the microphone code, there is hardly a home without the nygma technology box, the box, oh why do you have such a problem by saying you're looking at the Jim Carrey box set?
Now I understand, in the meantime, Alfred wants to make sure he can use the entrance. to the Batcave while his penis is busy, yes, you can hop on one foot and reach the door in time, yes, Batman is guessing the hard core of security there and everything lights up as a meek voice emits an intruder alert, right? did you hear the voice? he called us intruders thinking about death he was a character before cultures ruffian oh wait while Bruce and Chase prepare for their date Bruce begins with his most romantic quotes my parents were murdered in front of me that's just a kid you really know all the quotes to flirt but he literally gets jealous of himself when Chase leaves his porn bet, maybe he'll leave them alone, well try not to pose with a smile on the cover of Time, egomaniac, you got my bad side, but Alfred lets him know That cock is gone. traveling while riding around town in the Batmobile is not a bad man, oh yeah, I'm like a little kid.
I'm watching Ben 10 or whatever, oh wait, that's the loop that skips Bruce Wayne and totally sweeps away Batman's genius to figure that out. I'm going to put it on Snapchat. It looks like a girl is in trouble in this laser arcade, but a big dick is on the way to save her. He is defeated, but the gang's language of a whistle signals the other members to attack. Hey, Batman here, trying to look threatening, not by crying out loud, Batman saves him after his cape gets caught, no, that happens, really, that happens and he gets some harsh reactions from his penis.
If Bruce Wayne could have given his life for your family, he would have been an idiot. Bruce is going to wipe the sweat off, God knows. He had a hard time jumping and that's it, as he makes it clear that Grayson doesn't know anything, so you're willing to take a life, it'll happen this way, you'll kill, yes, but your pain isn't tied. with Harvey grows Oh so you run off into the night to find another face this is literally my dream you know Bruce I'm a part of this whether you like it or not what are you going to do replace me with Joseph Gordon-Levitt? so everyone gathers to watch the new version of nima snare tone let it go as nygma seems to be the toast of the town.
No, everyone is acting channeling a constant orgasm, that's bad, look at this guy trying out some of his latest invention on that guy. a rabid baboon would be less uncomfortable, shall we dance? I was asking you while the therapists and the world's best detective couldn't figure out that this is the Riddler. Wade has tricked a mind-reading machine that is interrupted to deal with this. He has time. for him to free himself and once again refused to enter a door, are there normal extras in this movie? They put on a stunt show and tried to do their version of the gun scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
It doesn't work, no. Worry, we don't blame you man, he looks nothing like Val Kilmer as Two-Face moves on to phase two, by the way, I can't approve of your buffoonish look, we have two useless slow motions and two Kilmer's mouths open and without However, I feel so empty, but Two Faces throws him under a mountain of sand, enjoys his costs, gets rough, gets everywhere, but his penis saves him, which makes Bruce feel surprisingly unhappy. What the hell did you think you were doing? I got it from this movie, they argue and argue, but Bruce doesn't have time for that, he's got a horny honey, he's secretly stalking her and Shea Sickles is Batman.
He's never been in love before so she seems like a sexy entry. What about the wrong kind of man? Do I need honestly fitted vinyl? I think she's a creepier fan than Nygma, however, Batman visits her and she admits that she has a bigger crush on Bruce than him, it's not even a personality, it's just something about her jaw, oh come on, and this, for Of course, he gives us the bat, no. Oh, however nygma shows us. the results of a mind reading of Bruce Wayne fragilely what kind of man is bats Aquaman well that's happening Batman decides to quit his night job from this day on Batman there will be no more chases coming to dinner I'm going to tell him everything so Remember folks, it wasn't a supervillain or a dangerous stunt that ended Batman's career, it was a horny psychologist and his whiny penis, actually that makes too much sense.
Bruce invites Chase to tell him everything while the kids do tricks. -Trying at his house, he frees the dogs while Bruce continues having flashbacks, his penis flees in disgrace and Riddler and Two-face find a way to sneak in and don't forget to move that tray away from the door, there they go , they explode. into the Batcave's hijacked chase meridian and Two-Face keeps flipping his coin until he gets the side he wants, just like in the comic. I can't punish this buffoon now with too much buffoonery if you kill him when Bruce wakes up, he tells you what happened, and The Riddler continues his annoying Jim Carrey impression.
I'd say this is a stretch even for him, but seeing how the rest of Gotham acts, I see it fitting perfectly into Catwoman, who do you think? Meanwhile Bruce and Alfred try to figure out the meaning of the riddles realizing there's a number in each and perhaps represent the alphabet 18 is M mr. e and another name for mr. The enigma Mr. enigma Edward nygma there is also a return address for Edward nygma Industries, but your path was too and if for a split second you forgot that Joel Schumacher directed this, but he is not the only one who has to look ridiculous, what is that , ten and four?
Ralf, I always wanted to be called Ralf, that man is quite easy to convince to let him come now while they go to arrest the evildoers. Fortunately, Batman also lets the police know that they don't actually have to do his job right. I guess our work is already done at Nickelodeon. studios the Riddler and two-face try to thwart our dynamic duo Oh my gosh, hello, we've had a lot of fun with people called dick today, but they're all good sports, so next time you see your local dick, please why don't you go? It's up to them to say I know it's a hard dick, you know, between the Joker's gun and a green light, the bataplane is pathetically easy to shoot down, isn't it completely rusted metal?
Batman's crowd is all metal, it's full of holes, holy shit. Oh, oh, we got you The movie wouldn't be dumb enough to put that kind of line in there, though, lines like this you're trying to get into my cape doctor and this one, I'll drive her and this car ride to club the car, they are totally fine. separate tour leaving Robin to fight to go it alone you never bet I hope you have a little family man who comes up with the riddle who looks like Elton John Liberace and Satan Fused Syndrome as he reveals his evil plan my little box will be on countless televisions around the world The world feeds me credit card numbers, bank codes, sexual fantasies, and little white lies.
Wow, that's really relevant. Yes, like a legitimate and intelligent comment. I'm not saying this is ahead of its time. I'm NOT saying this is ahead of its time. He shows that he captured. Chase and Robin, in fact, strangely seem less surprised that Robin is captured than Chase actually was on the first day and they caught you and the Riddler makes him choose which one dies, which one will be Batman's love Bruce or the Dark Knight's junior sidekick. the lasagna but Batman seems to have a riddle for the Riddler I see without seeing myself the darkness is as clear as daylight what am I, the horsemen?
You're blind exactly, he puts the specs on his computer because he needed help hitting the giant blender. in the middle of the room and the Riddler turned into pizza dough. I have no idea that the Riddler will end up dropping them, but luckily Batman's ego outweighs them, so he's able to defy the laws of gravity and disable it in response to what he chooses to do. He chooses the same thing Spider-Man did. You're welcome, it was a mistake bringing you in and I will never do this again. I like the curtains. What are you forgetting something?
Harvey your coin. You always have doubts about everything, except when it's not what we do. What I've established is that most of the time the man makes it clear that it's wrong for Robin to kill, but he, on the other hand, can keep looking for other faces to kill and this one is two for one. He sort of explains this to nygma, oh. I should have gotten vaccinated, you see, I am Bruce Wayne and Batman, not because I have to be now, because I choose to. Did I mention I won't be in the next Batman movie he sent to Arkham Asylum where the doctor is? worried about what he knows, edward nygma has been screaming for hours that he knows batman's true identity and why my name is in the opening credits even though i only have a dr file.
Burton tells me that Ben Affleck is fine, he is clearly crazy. Bruce says goodbye to the chase, so I guess he chose Batman instead of Bruce Wayne, a trap of sorts, and our dynamic rags run triumphantly into the night. It holds up pretty well, doesn't it while we appreciate? You're standing there silently the whole time, yeah I like listening, we still can't say it's a good Batman movie. I mean, okay, it's not Batman and Robin and it's supposed to be lighter in tone, but he seems confused about whether he wants to or not. be a comedy like Adam West, show a drama like the Burton films if it turns out that it doesn't succeed in either, it has some good ideas and the visuals are still pretty impressive in many ways, but it's all too safe. and that's not how batman should be handled batman should be different memorable and inspiring this movie is annoyingly weird or boring we'regeneric, if it didn't have the name Batman it would probably be quickly forgotten, it's a superhero movie, it's not the worst, but it's not that good either.
It's a strange installment, but not strange enough to leave such a big impact. Well, I respect your opinion. Come on, why don't we all sit down and have some tea together? I already prepared some for Malcolm. and Tamara, he really is a good guy, you know why not? Yeah, I mean, I know I don't always like your snide movies, but you seem like a decent, down-to-earth guy, well, I really appreciate Gotham you know that. Hello, Doug Walker. here doing the charity salute and this week we are doing the Cancer Research Institute since 1953 have led the field with support for immune therapy research and clinical trials together with their communities of scientists and patient donors continue to fund revolutionary advances to cure all types of cancer by harnessing the innate powers of the body's immune system, immunotherapy treatments have the potential to achieve complete, long-lasting remissions and cures.
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