BABYSITTER TEXTS THAT WENT TOO FAR

They paid me to watch movies, eat pizza and sleep. Best babysitting job ever. I've gotten them before. I lubricate the children when they sleep! You. That? OHMYGAWD NO. I AM NOT A FART. I tried to say that I LOVE children when they sleep. Not lubricant. I love them. Everyone has to relax. What's up guys? Today's video is about taking care of children. You know, sitting on babies. That's what we're doing today, until his parents arrive. For the record, I don't think I've ever worked as a

babysitter

before. Well, I was always a child. And my parents treated me that way.

Because one of my parents was always at home. My parents didn't have movie nights or date nights. They never like to go out and leave us alone. There would always have to be someone at home, until I was in high school. Then maybe once in a while, for about two hours, we would have the house to ourselves. But other than that, one of my parents was always home. He didn't know anyone with babies or toddlers who would ask me to babysit, so I never did. But these people do. They had dinner? Yes. I only ate pasta.

Oh, by the way, I slept with the

babysitter

. Excuse me? Are you fucking what? Haha PAID. I paid him. I'm sorry to give you a heart attack, baby. Oh no. No no no no. Look at the P and the L, they are next to each other. Understandable. Have a nice day. As for payment. Comment for Laid. Is there a chance E said WTF? Twice. Yes. That is very possible. Just ignore her and try not to laugh. Excellent advice for parents. She said it slowly, so it was very clear... I think I look stunned, if anything. Did she use it appropriately?

I wiped away the ABC cookie which she kindly spit on the table. At first I didn't know what it was. I asked him what it was. "What is that? She said, she said, "What the fuck? What the fuck?" Only in 2018. You'll give a baby a cookie and he'll spit it out. And you'll be like, "What the fuck?" This isn't vegan, gluten-free, or GMO. I can't live like this." Tyler was very good and did all his homework, so I let him play with my breasts. That? EXCUSE ME. Is this some kind of bad joke? We will go home NOW and call the police.

HE'S 12. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I mean BLOCKS. I would never do that !!! And that's how Ashley was fired. So how are you babysitting? Oh my god, they're already driving you crazy! Well, they might like to crawl under the couch or something, or maybe some babies like to crawl between the bars of their bed and then go on an adventure. You better go look for it. I feel like this is the worst thing for all parents. Nightmare. I don't have experience with babies, but I do have experience with puppies, and sometimes puppies get lost, but they're usually under the couch.

By the way, I charge 20 dollars every 15 minutes, I also charge extra. five if the child drools on me, don't you have the money? The baby could thrive on its own. Ha ha ha! Yes, you are laughing now, but you will have to pay. Damn, $20 every 15 minutes? Are they taking care of Lil Tay? That's $80 an hour. Hey, what are you doing tonight? Babysitter. How is? The boy's nanny is literally a mermaid. And she turned the baby she was taking care of into a Little Mermaid. Get it? Little Mermaid. He even uses the same colors. Well, she insisted that I was a mermaid because of my hair and I had this in my closet.

Then the boy said, "Hey, do you look like a mermaid? Why do you look like a mermaid?" And she says, oh wait. Let me put the tail on you. I also have a little queue for you. It seems strangely convenient. She would just have this in her closet. Julianne, how are the kids? Hello Miss Allen. I just f***** Lisa in bed. She is exhausted. And Liam has been sleeping peacefully the entire time! THAT? YOU'LL NEVER BE BABYSITTING AGAIN, YOUNG MAN. THEY DON'T PAY YOU. WE'RE GOING BACK HOME RIGHT NOW. Mrs. Allen! OMG I found myself rucked.

HIDDEN. HIDDEN HIDDEN. VERY SORRY. My God. Ha ha! It's hard to make an old lady like me laugh, but it's very funny! I'm so glad I chose you to babysit! I feel really bad for anyone who takes this seriously. Like you get a text from your babysitter, like, "What did you do to my son now?" Daniela. I'm just checking to see if you're still looking out for us tonight. Yes, I'll be there around 6. I have a lot of things to do so Sammy can help me. You know what, it looks like we won't need you tonight or ever.

That's gross! We are informing the family that recommended you. Are you sick. Wow, I'm sorry. I know he won't be able to help me. It was just a joke. I could do it myself. I was joking! OHHH GOD DON'T WAIT!!! VERY SORRY. I meant ***TASK. I have homework to do! My phone fixed it. Very sorry! I'm sorry. I'm not a Humper. I'm not one of those who get fucked. I definitely don't do anything in my free time. Well. See you at 6. Shit hit the fan real fast. That's what they told me. What's up with you? Let me guess, nothing.

Haha, really very busy. I've been taxi service/mom to 2 little rugrats all day and I'm exhausted! I hope you're getting laid. Oh fuck! I mean paid. Well, you know what's better than getting laid? Paid. And you know what's better than getting paid? Paid and placed. Why not both? This babysitter was supposed to be working. You know, watching the kid and all that. But you know, they get bored. And then she sends a photo to the child she's babysitting. MY GOD! VERY SORRY. I DIDN'T MEANT TO SEND YOU THIS. I tell my mom. I'll let you play Fortnite all night.

How could you say no to that? Are you really going to tell your mom? Your nanny sends you this, what do you do? Do you pick it up and play Fortnight all night, or tell your mom and never see her again? Comment below. What would you do? Leave a like if you'll be playing Fortnite all night. I would like to. Man, it's so nice to be an adult and not have parents telling me, "No, you have to get off and go out." I have to figure it out myself when I need to go out. That's why I don't go out.

We have this little demon crying and screaming all over his mashed potatoes. Don't worry, everything is going very well here. Yes. I'm sure that. We'll be home in a couple of hours, get Ethan ready for bed. And thanks for babysitting. I really appreciate it. You are welcome. I tried to tease him briefly, but he got scared. I do not know why. That?!! Oh my god, I met the bathroom. Very sorry. I would never do that. Very sorry. I meant bathroom. How the hell does he bother, he bathes? Siri, I need answers! I'm sorry. Girl, that's not enough.

He is an expert in childcare if you are caring for two or more children. I gave my nephew $5 each. I told them to hold it against the wall with their nose, whoever dropped it first would lose and the winner would get both. He kept them busy for three hours. Bro, they really need that money to buy V-bucks. I feel like this would be a legit job, like it's a really good idea. You have some annoying kids. This will work. Generates determination. Simply peach. Liz came to help me. What is she doing? Burn. She burped. My God!

Damn autocorrect. Your baby is not on fire, everything is fine. You know this is what you have to be careful with, because babies don't know what they are doing. They could just go in the damn oven. Katie, she got naked and got in the bathtub, and now she watches cartoons and eats chicken. I mean, I think it's a good idea. He does everything at once. He bathes, watches his cartoons and eats chicken. I wish he could have that kind of time management. THEIR CHILDREN PUT FUCKING ROPE ALL OVER THE WALL. I don't know how to clean it.

And it's so complicated. THAT? Oh my god, **** rope. *SILLY. STRICT FOOL. SILLY ROPE. Wait for it to dry and it will slide right off. I love me some Silly String. I can't stand these brats I'm taking care of. Yes, sometimes unruly children are demon seeds of a blowjob gone wrong. THAT MADE ME LAUGH. NOW I FEEL BETTER. That? Bad boys are demon seeds from a blowjob gone wrong. So they are errors, but errors of the devil. And so they ended badly. Make sense. Where do you put diaper rash cream? On the buttocks? No, no, honey. Not in the buttocks.

You really have to get in there. Good? Is that where you're going? Because I don't even know. I know she's not into the buttocks, right? I quietly remember being a baby and having my diaper changed. Maybe that's why I know. Or maybe it was my sister. Because there's no way she can remember my diaper being changed. Do you have to babysit but you don't want to do it, you don't want to do anything and you just want to play Fortnight? This is how you do it. It's great. They can't do anything but shit themselves. If you're feeling extra generous, place them in front of the TV.

That girl can thrive on her own. My God! May Day. May Day. CALL FOR HELP. The baby is shitting. Come quickly. MY GOD. I can hear it. Can you really? Can you really hear a baby relieving herself? Because I have no idea. Please enlighten me. Comment below. I want to know, don't I? Maybe I don't want to know. That's gross. Thank you for taking care of children in such a short time. How did she do? To be honest, not well... Ah? What happened? Lily looked at my phone and found out that she was dating someone and started singing: Gavin and Clarissa, sitting in a tree.

KISSING... first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes an abrupt and tragic miscarriage... first comes guilt, then comes despair. 2 hearts broken beyond repair... D-I-V-O-R-C-E I didn't know this one when I was a kid. Ha! I must love my children. Demon children over here. Come back for your animal. She scratched my eyeball and punched me. But can you still see that you accepted this job? You're going to have to deal with that. We have reached an all-time low. THE LITTLE LITTLE CLEANED POOP OFF HER SISTER!!! And it's only 9am!! This, I feel like this would be my worst nightmare.

If I ever had kids or had to deal with kids, like anything poop related. As if God didn't want one of them to poop in the bathroom, he takes it out of her and does things with it. That's my worst nightmare. There is nothing worse than playing with poop. But well, that's all for today. I hope you enjoyed this video. Comment below. Have you ever babysat? And what was the worst thing that ever happened? And make you press that like button in your face. And subscribe, join the wolf pack. I love you guys so much. Thanks for watching.

Bye.