YTread Logo
YTread Logo

"Attention All Passengers" - Trevor Noah - (Crazy Normal) LONGER RE-RELEASE

Jun 09, 2020
But the pilots, the pilots are calm, they are calm, you know, you go into the air. They start making useless announcements that you don't even care about, just to give you that feeling that he knows what he's doing, you stand there while the seat belt lights come on *seat belt light sound* "Ladies and gentlemen as you can We have noticed that we have reached our cruising altitude", "currently located at 23,000 feet above sea level." "Cruising at about 720 km per hour in this Boeing 737" "one of the star's favorite planes _______________ _______________________" "beautiful sunny day up here, we might encounter some bumps but nothing rough" "the cabin crew will take care of it from you." "At the front we have Esmeralda and Jonathan and at the back we have Simon, Tsitseng and Verera." "I will be assisting you and if you need anything, do not hesitate to call me." “I will let you know once we have begun our descent,” “until then, please enjoy your flight, thank you.” *sound of intercom going off* and you say, "Oh, yes, pilot, yes!" "My boy, my boy!
attention all passengers   trevor noah   crazy normal longer re release
Pilot!" It's okay, it's okay. I just don't like the fact that they never tell you when something goes wrong. It scares me because they are trained to keep you calm no matter what is happening. And I realized this because we ran into turbulence upon arriving in Johannesburg, where there were raging storms. and the plane started shaking, and you know it wasn't like calm turbulence. You know, it's that turbulence where people's knuckles turn white when you hold them, you know, because you know, people try to act naturally on the plane. they're like *hum* and then they get to a point where they like to *experience turbulence* and it gets to that point where everyone on the plane panics, everyone except the flight attendants, they're amazing.
attention all passengers   trevor noah   crazy normal longer re release

More Interesting Facts About,

attention all passengers trevor noah crazy normal longer re release...

I love how they do it, you know. like if you hit the turbulence, you'll be like *turbulence sound* Things fall, bags hit the sides of the compartments. *turbulence sound* People are panicking, except for the flight attendants, who are just moving naturally. It's weird, it's almost like the lower half isn't connected to the upper body because they'll just carry on, they'll say "yeah, yeah guys", "would you like some coffee? Yeah, okay", "there you go" . , be careful, it's hot" "thank you, okay then." "Something for you sir, eh?" "Yes, okay" "Okay, then just pass me some apple juice" "Okay, thank you very much" “There you go, do you want some ice?
attention all passengers   trevor noah   crazy normal longer re release
No ice, thanks." I don't know how they do it. and then the pilot has the nerve to take off in the middle of the biggest storm ever. The plane shakes, the wings tilt up slightly. You think you're going to die. , it's like *turbulence sound* People are shouting, it's like *turbulence sound* *intercom turning on* *Turbulence sound* "Ladies and gentlemen, we have encountered slight turbulence. "We ask everyone to return to their seats at this time" "and refrain from using the bathrooms" "Please note that we will be flying at a higher altitude to alleviate the problem." "Also keep your seat belts fastened" "and no hot drinks will be allowed to be served at this time for your safety." Thank you very much and I'll talk to you in a moment "once we're out of this bumpy patch." I'll talk to you in a moment.
attention all passengers   trevor noah   crazy normal longer re release
That moment may never come. He doesn't tell you this. When the domestic flight lost an engine, the pilot said nothing. He just fell. *falling sound* Calm down. I don't want a pilot like that, I want someone who will let me know. I want I want to know before I die, I want to know, I want to say a prayer or two, I want to prepare myself, you know, I want to forgive everyone I hate in the world. Give me a chance, give me a chance. But don't do it, pilots. They do not do it. Other people who die in plane crashes don't even know they died.
It must be the worst feeling in the world. There's like a bunch of confused people appearing in the sky like *popping sound* "I swear these airports change all the time" "I never know where to go, ever" I think, are we in heaven?" "Oh wow, I can't believe we did it, huh? "Guys, I can't believe it; wow, this is amazing." And there is Saint Peter at the doors and says: "Come in, please, come in." "Introduce oneself." She says, "Who are you?" "I am Saint Peter, Saint Peter." "Uh, but you" "Yes, I know. A lot of people are surprised, just come." "I get that all the time, just come." "Just come, just come." "I just thought that." "No, don't worry.
Just come, please, wait until you see Jesus. Come, come. I don't want that, I want someone to tell me when I'm going to die. Like the taxi drivers, there is no person who has died in a car." taxi without knowing that he has died. Just before the accident, the taxi driver will say: "Hey! *sound of taxi crashing* People walking towards the sky will say, "Hey, dead, dead, dead!" Dead, yes, sure, we are dead! "Gone, gone, gone, yeah!" They know. Sometimes they survive the accident but still think they are dead Walking down the sidewalk. "Dead, dead, dead, dead!" "Hey, dead!" Oh.
But fortunately we landed safely in Johannesburg. We landed safely and everyone applauded when the plane landed Yay! He clapped his hands and entered the airport terminal building. and that's the moment you realize you're back in South Africa. When you fly internationally. and then when you land at any of our airports and if you listen closely, you realize that you are back. Like South Africa once again, the world went there and we said, "No, no, let's go. Let's just go that way." "Because all over the world they conform to a norm and that is that in airports women make announcements.
It is always a woman, always. and she is always calm. Always monotonous. She always comes to that system, she sits calmly in a room They bring you the pages one by one. If you're at Heathrow, for example, you'll hear that woman enter the system. *PA system sound effect* "Attention all

passengers

. Please note that this is an airport announcement. No passenger is permitted to leave any items unattended as this may be seen as a safety risk. Any unattended luggage will be removed by security and destroyed. Thank you." *PA system goes off* Everywhere in the world, even if you go to countries that don't speak English, they still conform to that standard.
You know you go to places like China where you don't expect it, you know ?You think and I see that some of you probably think that there will be something like: *stereotypical Chinese slang* No, don't even laugh, that's racist. Don't even laugh. Don't do it, hey! No, no. That's racist. You're not even laughing. But they're not. They're calm. She's a woman, it's still the same. She's just another language he'll use on the PA like, *PA system lights up* "*Calm down Chinese slang*" * The PA system goes off* And you know, you know they've settled. And then you land in South Africa.
And you know you've landed, you know you're back home when you walk into the airport terminal building. You walk in and you don't even I know if they audition the people who do it. No no no. It's almost like whoever is closest to the microphone gets to do it first, you know? No, go and do it. It's the craziest thing! Fortunately, 99 percent of the time it's a woman, but she will come. She is the craziest thing ever. As you walk, she will come and say: *PA system turns on* "ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS! ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS! HELLO! HELLO!
ME!" I'm talking to you! Hello! All the people who fly on Kalula.com, the plane is delayed. The plane they were supposed to go on was two, now there are three. Yes, all people just take a ticket for that plane and we won't have any problem, okay. Just to confirm, if your ticket says two, it will be three, okay. You shouldn't complain when the plane has left, I'm telling you now. And you must call people to choose. Get up! You must tell them: my plane has changed! And then they start talking to people in the background and don't even turn off the microphone! "__________." _________________ _________________ ___________________ __________________ ___________________ ______________ "Alright". "Okay everyone that's flying once the door has changed." "It's not the D2, it's the C15." "It's not the D2, it's the Z15." If you can go to D2, you won't find anything. "OK, bye." "______________."

If you have any copyright issue, please Contact