An Actual Review of Titanfall 2
Feb 27, 2020*sigh* Okay, look. This is the first time I've done this and... I really don't know what I'm doing. Look, even though these videos are called "real
review
s," I considered myself an artist above all else. Now, that statement could very well be written about the Spirit of St. Louis given how high it seems to be in the air, but it's what I would consider myself to be anyway. And after sitting here for hours and shoving various writing utensils into my forehead, I've come to the conclusion that it's not much fun to love something without irony. I can't even fall back on my secondary title ofreview
er here because, aside from a few things here and there, I found very little about Titanfall 2 worth criticizing.So instead of milking those criticisms dry with every comic gag I can think of, I'd like to propose a compromise. To make up for the honestly disgusting levels of praise I'll give Titanfall 2, I'll criticize and insult EVERYTHING ELSE. Now, both discerning people in the audience may have noticed that I said "everything else" and not every other game and that's because I meant EVERYTHING ELSE. That includes you and me too, which is essentially an insult, but hey, I'm not one to shy away from easy targets. And if you don't agree with this compromise, then I hate to tell you, but from the fact that you're watching this video right now, I already did.
So why don't you close the account and go back to licking the frosting off some cupcakes? So adults can sit alone and listen to a retarded cartoon owl masturbate while playing a video game for 12 minutes and wonder how. Damn, things have come to this point. At this point, it seems almost unnecessary to say that Titanfall 2 was an extremely pleasant surprise, but for context, I still feel like I need to explain how enjoyable it
actual
ly was. I had no intentions of BUYING this game. Not to mention reviewing it. In fact, the only reason I ended up owning it is because I received around 500,000 comments and messages telling me to check it out and they coincide with an email EA sent me offering me a code for an additional 20% off the current one. 30% discount on Christmas sale.So I guess you could say "the planets aligned" if you're some kind of fetishist for overused phrases. Only in this case, instead of curing cancer or having the universe make a Jesus again, I end up buying Titanfall 2. And some idiots said that the miracles have already happened Pffff. Fuck you Billy, you fucking idiot. Once the game finished installing, I sat down to play it and didn't get up until I was past all the end credits, made several questionable online purchases, cleared my browser history, and tweeted about the fact that I switched. my opinion on reviewing it.
And now that this scenario has been properly prepared, I feel like I can finally move on to the review. When only a little more than 2 full minutes of the video had passed. Well done. *slow, awkward applause* I'd like to start by talking about the biggest change that sets Titanfall 2 apart from its predecessor, namely the single-player campaign and, specifically, the fact that this game
actual
ly has one. Now, the decision to make the first Titanfall a multiplayer shooter and still charge full price for it seemed incredibly bold and incredibly stupid to me from the day it was announced.And take note, kids, because exposing some kind of blizzard-based apocalypse, the general public will not be okay with spending a lot of money on a game that will invariably become inaccessible as time goes on. And after playing through Titanfall 2's campaign twice, I'm honestly left wondering who the hell put the office-supply-eating bum behind the studio in charge of that decision. Because Respawn has shown here that they are not only capable of making a good single-player campaign, but they are more than capable of making a great one. I just hope the poor guy didn't get scabs on his knuckles on the way out the door, because with the ACA repealed I don't think he'll have enough money to treat that infection.
Now, because I had no intention of reviewing this game at all when I initially played it, I ended up having to play through the entire campaign a second time in order to record the footage for this review, and in doing so I realized one of the most important things. smart about the way the campaign was designed from a narrative perspective. Unlike most games whose stories revolve around a small group of characters, Titanfall 2 develops the emotional bond between Cooper and BT through its gameplay rather than relying entirely on dialogue and cutscenes, a design choice. so subtle that I actually completely missed it on My First Playthrough, a testament to either how well it's implemented or how retarded I am, probably a combination of all three.
See, the levels are arranged in such a way that Cooper and BT are often separated and have to do things to help each other directly or indirectly. There are multiple instances where Cooper becomes separated from BT and must fight legions of enemy soldiers to reunite with him, but unlike most games, instead of having you completely separated during these sections, BT will actually help you by revealing and sometimes saving. Cooper from enemy soldiers or other dangers. Additionally, due to the discrepancy in size and mobility between the two characters, there are several areas that can only be traversed by one of them, so each mission would be literally impossible for BT or Cooper to complete on their own. .
All of this is used to help communicate the character's story being told throughout the campaign, that the time BT and Cooper spend together causes them to develop a codependent relationship. It's a show-don't-tell method that can only be achieved through video games, and it's refreshing to see it done so well here. Of course, I could be reading too much into this and it could have been a decision made purely for gameplay purposes, but intentionally or not, it had a very positive effect on my experience playing the story and I appreciate the experience of going through it. So fuck you, the game gets points anyway.
So about that story, if the execution of the character's story was as subtle as I described it, it would be safe to assume that the story itself is great, right? No, you damn staple food eater, have you been paying attention or haven't I put enough owl pngs on the screen for you? The plot makes no sense, Cooper is practically a self-insert Mary Sue, the villains are from the gritty Captain Planet reboot, and the overall story has about as much depth as a YouTube comment criticizing an open-world game. And it's fucking amazing because the writers at Respawn are very aware of all this.
This is a game about gruff dudes and ladies in giant robots fighting with swords the size of your school bus on an alien planet for control of a magical, shiny macguffin. It's not exactly bloody Shakespeare, and it probably would have been a mistake. take it 100% seriously. Hint, damn clue. Titanfall 2 knows exactly what it is: a silly, cheesy, goofy, fun action movie, and it actually goes above and beyond to deliver a story that, while definitely flawed and cliché, delivers some surprisingly powerful emotional beats. Something that would probably feel incredibly jarring and out of place in a lesser game, but due to the amount of care and obvious affection in the way it was written and designed, it all totally works.
The most important takeaway from this is something I think anyone writing a story should do their best to remember: Stories are a lot like jokes, because the quality of each factor depends entirely on the way it's presented. A bad joke told well can get a big laugh, while a great joke told poorly will often make everyone a little uncomfortable. It's no different when you write a story, because a mediocre story told well is infinitely more interesting than a good story told poorly. Now, let's put all that faggot narrative bullshit aside and talk about the game's bread and butter.
From a gameplay perspective, a lot of what makes single-player work is the fact that Titanfall 2's core mechanics are really great, but I'll cover that shit in a minute when I get to multiplayer, so As far as the single player goes, I'll be focusing most of my attention on the levels themselves. You see, Respawn is a lot like most girlfriends I've ever had in my life because they seem to have no interest in bothering me. If you sat down and listed all the cool and unique ideas Respawn had for levels, you would have an exact list of every level in the game.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that there isn't a single level in this game that doesn't introduce its own unique spin on the already excellent sandbox of Titanfall 2 gameplay, whether through the way the level itself is presented or by introducing new mechanics. completely. Now, naturally some of these mechanics are much less interesting than others, and unfortunately, I don't think they'll be adequately developed into the best; in fact, the final level has one of the dullest gimmicks, while by far the coolest level in the entire game happens before the halfway mark, and I'm not actually going to show any footage of that level in this review because if you've somehow managed to get to this point without having the mechanics messed up, then I want you to experience it for yourself.
I'll just say that aside from a few choice flash games, this is the closest an end button has ever gotten me. As far as I can tell, the only arguable downside to this consolidated approach to design is that it has resulted in the campaign only lasting about 5 hours, but if I'm honest, I don't fully understand the fetishization of playtime that many game critics They seem to indulge. Personally, I'd pick a 5-hour game that's worth playing twice over a 10-hour game that's barely worth playing once almost any day of the week, because as far as I'm concerned, the length of something is It's a very accurate indication of quality, which I'm sure won't surprise anyone.
Dick joke, thesaurus, Dick joke. Now all of this brings me to finally being able to talk about the multiplayer which, after all, is what this series was initially intended to sell for. And... Well, look: Even though I personally think saying "it's like X but Y" is a pretty lazy way to criticize something, I've found it virtually impossible to talk about the way this game plays. without at least mentioning the recent Call of Duty titles; So if going back to being a Call of Duty big bad is going to make you feel really sad, then you should probably go ahead and leave now.
Also, the funny thing about this is that the comments on that Call of Duty review I made really confused me, because despite not remembering turning them off, about half of them seemed to be turned off anyway. Who knows, maybe YouTube spotted the title and handled the comments accordingly. Regardless, the reason this comparison is almost inevitable is due to the fact that, from a basic mechanical perspective, the two games are almost identical on paper; Which is strange, given that one of the pieces of paper is covered in elegant calligraphy with pretty embroidery around the edges, while the other is covered in racial epithets and currently on fire.
I guess it serves to accentuate my earlier point about how important execution is, so take note, liberal bastards. Now, as I said, the similarities between these two games have been discussed at length, so I'll try to keep this brief to try to avoid simply parroting what everyone else has already said. There's probably an owl pun, but I'm on my last script run-through right now and honestly, I can't be bothered to think of one. To put it as simply as possible, I think the biggest thing Titanfall 2 has about Captain Picard's online journal is the fact that there seems to be a much stronger sense of unity in terms of its design, and let me explain what what do I want to say with that.
Running, wall running, sliding, punching, and shooting would all be pretty easy to confuse in a vacuum if you hadn't played either game yet. The differentiating factor, and the reason I think Titanfall 2 is better, is that Respawn uses these basic mechanics as the foundation upon which everything else is built, while Infinity Ward seems to have implemented them, shrugged, and then started to destroy shit. Older Call of Duty games together in the hopes that everything will magically fit together. I'm being hyperbolic, hush. Every mechanic and design choice made in Titanfall 2 perfectly complements the core gameplay. The large, sprawling maps, for example, play with both the sheer scale of the Titans and the rapid movement of the pilots, while also containing enough nearby areas so that the pilots don't feel completely helpless when they are.
Outnumbered. Of course, some maps do this better than others,but even the worst maps do a pretty decent job of giving pilots some safe spaces. Additionally, the quote-unquote “core” game types of Titanfall 2 are designed in such a way that they give the player a very real feeling of being a super soldier. These game types rely on points rather than kills earned by killing enemy players and titans, as well as the various enemy NPCs scattered around the maps. It may seem like a small detail, but the addition of this extra element does wonders in making you feel like you're making a difference in a much larger battle, unlike the way Infinite Warfare makes you feel like you're in a much larger battle. larger. a kind of Bizarro Battle Royale for the disabled or the way Battlefield 1 makes you feel as insignificant as you really are.
It's a big part of why I think most non-NPC game types don't really work, the notable exception being Last Titan Standing, and speaking of Titans: performing any action that rewards your team with points will also fill up a small meter. on the bottom. left corner of the screen, and once it's filled, you can summon one of the different Titan classes, which are conveniently separated into a few different categories: There's the Titans for fans of FPS games, the Titans for those in love with the Key "V" and the tone of subhuman filth. Personally, I almost exclusively use the Ronin, partly because the Leadwall feels like shooting mid-size SUVs and partly because none of the other Titan cores can even come close to the level of joy I get from repeatedly hitting someone in the head. a giant sword, probably because it invokes the same feeling I get whenever I write analogies.
Like the Titans, the pilot classes can easily be separated into a couple of groups; those are the grappling hook and the others. This isn't to say that the other tactical builds are bad per se, aside from the A-Wall of course, the proverbial tone of tactical gear, it's just that... Okay, look, if you're going to give me the ability. to Tobey Maguire to get out of a sticky situation, I'm not exactly going to be motivated to use anything else. Now, it's worth noting how impressive it is that Respawn was able to make you feel like an unstoppable force of nature on your Titan without making you feel completely helpless when facing them.
It's also worth noting how confusing this is when you think about the fact that these are the same people who thought sentry turrets that can kill pilots as fast as enemy players and quadruple their health were a good idea. But try as they might, the sentinel pilots, the Tone, the A-wall, the... damn Tone... None of these can tarnish the experience to the point that I would even consider not recommending it. So, I guess to conclude this absolute shitty review: if you don't own Titanfall 2 and everything you've seen on screen or heard coming out of my delay has seemed the least bit interesting to you, then I highly recommend you check it out. buy.
It's one of the best-designed AAA experiences I've played in years, and if you don't want to buy it at full price, you should at least keep an eye out for deals, because even if you don't think this game is worth your money, I can basically guarantee you that it's worth it. worth your time. Yes, it's a bit of a boring note to end the video on, but what the fuck do you want from me? I don't have the writing talent to make a positive review funny without a gimmick, I sure don't know how to turn a recommendation into a joke.
Hell, this game is so good that the only complaint I feel is 100% justified when leveling it is the fact that it sometimes has a bad habit of stuttering in multiplayer matches; and even then, from what I've read, this seems to be an external error caused sometimes when running the game on Windows 10, so if your computer's antivirus is powerful enough to have protected you from that particular malware, you should... you should be a- aces-ces. malware malware FUCK ♪ Talk about Jake Bardin ♪
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