Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Skills | Counselor Toolbox Podcast with Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes

Hello everyone and welcome to today's presentation on

acceptance

and

commitment

therapy

skills

for the next little while as we discuss the purpose of a CT. We will examine again what mindfulness is, talk briefly about how the act is different from other mindfulness-based approaches and what is unique about the act, then move on to simply talking about the destructive normality that knew the avoidance experienced. Finally, we move on to general therapeutic interventions and talk about how to address the clients' agenda. and they want us to eliminate the problem and act, they want us to really face it and say, are we talking about eliminating something or just changing the way we experience it, and then we work on thinking about control because too often the problem is that the People try to control their depression, control their anxiety and the more they try to control it, the more out of control it seems and we will end up investigating the six basic principles of A. ct Why do we worry as always?

Not all interventions are suitable for all people. What we want to do is find a bunch of tools that we can offer in our

toolbox

to present to clients that will play to their strengths. If we hear something that sounds like CT or CBT or experiential interventions, we will know that this is where we want to go to help clients learn how to approach life on their terms in a way that is meaningful to them; you can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf you can't stop bad things from happening you know sometimes bad things happen and it just sucks, but you can learn to deal with it in a way that is less counterproductive to your health and happiness distracting yourself from the Heartbreak is like constantly running away from your own shadow, I thought about it for a few minutes, and it makes sense to try to control the negative thoughts and feelings we have when missing out on other life situations if you are constantly running away from that shadow, you don't focus on anything. more happening around you, which means other things can weaken and cause additional distress, even if you figure out how to move away from your shadow, which is why the acronym accept your reactions and be present says don't change it don't say judge don't say just accept it It is what it is Choose a direction of value and then take action It all seems pretty simple but it isn't If it were us, customers wouldn't do it anymore This, but it is based on Relational Frame Theory, a psychological theory of human language, developed largely through the efforts of Stephen C Hays of the University of Nevada Reno and Dermot Barnes Holmes of the National University of Ireland, Maynooth, rational.

Framework theory argues that the cornerstone of cognition or higher reasoning concerns what our ability is to create links between things, so much of the technical idol for when I see things that we articulate in terms that are meaningful to us, which is terrifying, wonderful and very depressing. It's the words you use, the way they are conceptualized and stored in your memory, so if you conceptualize something as all or nothing, you end up seeing the world in terms of all or nothing, so what we want to do is look at language. and say: this is the best way to think about this.

You know, one of the examples I've used before is labeling an event or a behavior instead of a person who are children, and I really believe that children are not bad, children make bad decisions, children behave badly, but the children well but it's mine. and repair and all those kinds of things that help people see that and we're going to look at some more examples of how our language can really affect the way we interpret something in contextual lists to understand the complexity and richness of an entire event by appreciate the participants and functions, let us now think about functional contextualism.

The contextual lists say in this context when my son was little we went to different places, and at home he knew what the rules were, he knew that we didn't touch the television, he knew everything how it should be, but When we went to my grandmother's house, He had never been before and she had a TV and stuff and it had rocker buttons and stuff that we didn't have, it was a different situation so the little scientists in him left and he walked over to the TV because he was trying to figure out. in this context how am I supposed to function functional contextualism look where I'm going walked up to the TV and pointed at it and looked at me and said not to touch it.

I said it's true. Shawn, no contact; He touched the TV, looked at me and took a time out. He walked over to the corner and sat down, he just wanted to make sure the rules still applied, and it wasn't something that you know, he wasn't that good, he does it to make it unclear, or he's just trying to figure it out. and once he realized that he didn't bother the television again, and that's why I want you to get out of this, that people will behave differently in different situations and that they behave differently in different situations because there are different variables in playing.

You act differently when I'm presenting, then I do when I'm high with my friends at the gym, and I'm sure you act differently at work than at home than when you go out at night with your friends in that city you know. , it's about context and what is the most functional behavioral choice at that moment, for people to learn language through interactions with the environment, we have to focus on changing variables in context, some things can't be changed with my grandmother there. Not only could we remove the TV stuff, but it wouldn't have been practical, so we had to work on variable environment variables.

We want to help people create general rules to influence psychological events such as thoughts, feelings, and behavioral variables. It can include variables in the environment, it can include triggers, it can include how to communicate with different people. You know, maybe someone has issues with authority figures that will affect how they interact with people at work and maybe how they interact at home, so we want to keep that in mind when someone speaks well about a management issue. gonna. I want to know about it, but I want to know in each context when we talk about personality disorders, we talk about a continuous pattern of behavior, this pattern of behavior exists in various environments, so I want to know what was the context that controlled the variables that Yes behavior is because it is usually presented as a disturbance, we can see that the behavior and decisions made in those contexts were probably unhelpful or inappropriate.

The purpose of the act is to create a meaningful life in most of our other interventions, while we accept the pain that is in it, it inevitably continues, there will be times when things just suck and I'm sorry it happens, you know, people leave. , you will have losses, you will have disappointments, but it doesn't last forever, important, we help people understand when they create this rich and meaningful life, okay, maybe things aren't going the way I want them to. Not now, but let's get back to the basics that it's important to me, and it's important to me that I support him, he's in my life, you know it could be the kids, it could be the family, it could be your best friend. , it can be all of the above.

What is important to me, what are my values? choose to bet different things things that are important for me to have in my life it's important that I have a roof over my head some people will say yes some people will say you know I'm on my friends couch I can crash, or that I really don't' I don't want the restrictions and regulations of living in some kind of formalized housing, and it's definitely a choice and the experiences that are important to me are jobs that are important to me. It is important for me to travel what is important and how I can move towards these goals because we want our decisions to be based on values, they must be driven by values, a CT is a good shorthand because this

therapy

is about effective action. , guided by our deepest values ​​in which we are fully present and the other thing with a CT that we want to remember is that like many things, our values ​​can change over time, yes, what was important to you when you were in your twenties probably It wasn't exactly the same as what's important to you today if you're over 20.

Let's not let awareness bring awareness to the experience of the here and now with openness and receptivity, awareness does not require meditation, and this is something that I really want to convey to some of my clients because I have had situations where I start talking about mindfulness. and clients say no, I don't want to or I can't meditate and I try to contradict them and oppose them and challenge the resistance, but that's not where they are now, so I said, how else can we be mindful? We can help you become aware of your here and now, one of the things we did every morning in my residential program and every night the clients had to fill out sheets to identify how they feel mentally, physically and emotionally. socially, spiritually and generally, I mean, there was a lot of thinking there and then they had to identify what stage of readiness for change they were in and why and what they had to identify the behavior that they exhibited that supports that theory and finally they had to identify three good things they did during the day or identify three things they wanted to do during the day, if we talk about the morning, we wanted clients to start becoming self-aware instead of just automatically waking up and being pilots.

Because we talk about vulnerabilities, we talk about understanding that some days are more manageable than others, encouraging clients who are in early recovery from early or late stages of detox. I mean, they don't feel as hot, so I want to know how they feel because then we can start talking about well, you're feeling sluggish today, how can we help you with that? because there will be times when they will recover when off treatment and you know, two years in a row when they wake up and they have the flu and they feel like shit and they feel sluggish, but they have things to do, so let's learn to do it now everyone Anyway, we wouldn't necessarily demand that.

Some people think it's the best thing in the world, and yes they can meditate beautifully because meditation has many benefits, some of our clients have anxiety disorders, ADHD, or have an extensive history of trauma, at least in the early stages. treatment with meditation, they may have trouble calming their thoughts, they are very, very afraid because, as you know, they spend most of their life simply occupying their mind, they do not mentally go where the facets of consciousness live in the present moment , again, how are you? Many of our customers are looking at you, can you be okay?

And if you're in recovery circles, you know well is an acronym, you can look up what it means, but it basically means that you're not. well it's just a knee-jerk reaction, we want them right now, they ask you emotionally how you feel, cognitively, how you feel, and physically, if you can get all three, you really need to focus more on the moment, encourage them to participate fully. in what they are doing, more than in their thoughts to get lost, if they go out for a walk, they should pay attention to what is happening, they should pay attention to the birds, the leaves, the kittens hiding under the trailer, everything. who see, hear, smell, sometimes we made the clients come out.

If we walked, we had a three-acre campus, they had to go out for a walk and come back, and then they would talk as a group about what they saw, smelled, etc. It's amazing that you have ten people there and you probably get six or seven different perspectives of what was there, you know there was a lot of overlap, but inevitably there were things that one person noticed and no one else was paying attention. It also means that your feelings can be what they are instead of trying to control them. I have a friend right now who is very stressed, and he is stressed by the fact that he is stressed, and I'm like, you know.

What do we think, you're stressed about everything I know is going on in your life. You have a reason to be stressed. Let's accept that this is where we want to go instead of trying to tell him not to stress or calling him a whiner. 'I don't like it very much, but a lot of people can't stand it. As a therapist, coach, or friend, we want to encourage people to simply accept their feelings and embrace them. Mindfulness

skills

are divided into four subdivisions; that's what cognitive diffusion is. I can separate myself from my emotions. I don't have to be my emotions, connect with the present moment.

How do I feel about acting and performing? I like acting 'cause it's the fly on the wall, it's the fly sitting there watching you go, girl, what do you think? How can a diff act CT be used in a wide variety of populations and clinical settings, because it's not a protocol that has to be done manually, is that okay with me? I don't know if my clients can really handle this part; It is a technique that allowsTherapists create their own awareness and techniques. Individualize it, or even create it or create it with clients, and you can go online and, if you pay attention, literally hundreds will come to mind. worksheets and worksheet ideas, so if you're stuck, check out what I've explored from there, and I think we talked about that in the last session.

The name was five and name five things that come to mind or that you can see right now is difficult, you know the wall, the floor and the chair. If people pay more attention to what's going on around them, remember a game many of us play in front of our iPhones? When we take long car trips and look at the signs, you will find signs that match the alphabet. Which keeps you busy, but makes you aware of what you know, at least visually around you. What is unique about taking action is not the reduction of symptoms but the continuous effort to get rid of the symptoms, and this is really important.

So, as I read this to you, keep in mind that the continuous effort to get rid of the symptoms creates a clinical disorder; The private experience labeled as a symptom of anxiety causes a struggle with the symptom, so you try to control your anxiety and you get frustrated because you can't control your anxiety, which makes you feel helpless, which increases your anxiety because you can't. you can control. Your anxiety, does it make sense? No, a symptom is by definition something pathological and something we should try to get rid of, but in reality everyone feels that we are anxious with the fight or flight response, is it a normal feeling, is it what can be done about he? which can be pathological.

To identify the feeling, say it right, my body or my brain sees that there is a threat right now, okay, let's look at the law, the purpose is to transform and transform our relationships with our difficult thoughts and feelings. These are passing, harmless, perhaps uncomfortable psychological events, the thought that I can't do this anymore, this is a feeling that is now valid, we must hold on to it and celebrate it, or we can just let the destructive normality fade away. The Window I like this term, I assume that the psychological processes of a normal human mind are often destructive and create psychological suffering for all of us sooner or later, I postulate that the root of this suffering is human language itself, and these are some of The things that we talk about when you think about the capstone class and some of the other classes, a lot of our mast is formed in early childhood, where we think in concrete terms, where we learn and relate in concrete terms with all or nothing. focusing on one. aspect, so the verbal representation of everything that is scary or threatening tends to not be as functional as when you are an adult and have more skills, more independence and more ability to survive on your own.

Then it is the language that tells you that I have to do it all the time that I had to do it, which can cause suffering when remembering the perceptions and schemas that are created by analyzing and comparing the planning evaluation. All these processes of remembering and visualizing depend on human language. Think about a time when you were a child. You think about it, probably, you use words, maybe not out loud, but you're talking to yourself, you're like remembering the time you know, when I was six years old and dad took me on the sleigh across the countryside, you know.

You used words with that and I remember how funny it was now. I think snowboarding on the bobsled slope is fun because that's the only association I really have with it. Think about this. I am stupid. Remember when I talked about childishness versus childish behavior versus thinking I'm stupid? If you think I'm stupid and you think about it for a while and you keep telling yourself it's pretty depressing that's when you think well of yourself, I think. that now I'm just a fool, it's different because thoughts come and go, I can let go of a thought, another example that our clients can experience.

I can not continue. I just can't go on like this. You know I'm not sorry right now. can come and can go I can't come and go I'm here or I'm and you know I really want me to stay here a while longer so this is Bert we're looking for we're talking about attributions we're talking about what before global internal stable attributions I'm stupid about I'm stupid about everything I didn't say. I was stupid about parallel parking. I said it was stupid. It's internal. It means it's part of me. If I get rid of it and get rid of a part of myself, what do I do with it?

One of the reasons I don't like labeling disorders is because people say I'm depressed, you have depressed feelings, you now have symptoms of depression, but are you depressed? I have to be very careful with my language because I will fall into that trap because it is shorter to say that I am depressed or that I am an addict, but people tend to do that too. personal and I do not want them to reclaim the experiential act of avoidance that human language naturally creates psychological suffering by preparing us for a battle with our thoughts and feelings through experiential avoidance.

There is a problem. I feel anxious. I don't want to feel anxious. My solution. I have to figure out how to get rid of the anxiety or I have to avoid it and in my attempt to control it I end up making it worse instead of just accepting that it is the way it is and eventually it will matter a little or making the decision to do so. something, and we're going to talk about The more time and energy we spend avoiding or getting rid of unwanted private experiences, that is, thoughts and feelings, that go through our heads, the more likely we are to become buoyant and think about old movies where someone is in a pit of quicksand and the more he fights the more he sinks, that's what happens with our clients, the more they fight with their worries with the tools that time gives them, the more they will sink;

What we have to help them do is just accept, okay, let me relax for a moment, I'm in quicksand, let me think about what I'm going to do about the addiction, as more people struggle trying to control their alcohol consumption, trying to control his addiction. how the more they think about drinking, the more they think about the porn they want to do, it gives them this very strong desire and then they get frustrated, especially if they relapse or engage in their behavior, then they get frustrated and feel depressed. I feel useless to return to that behavior because it is a numbing behavior that avoids and creates this whole dynamic of failure, which begins with failure, anxiety and depression are the same thing that people usually feel: they want to try to get rid of them. so they try to pretend they're not anxious or depressed, they try to cope with anxiety or depression, and unfortunately a lot of times they cope in not so nice ways, so they encourage clients to just accept without judgment, and that's so intrusive.

The actions focus on two main processes that develop

acceptance

of unwanted private experiences that are beyond personal control when something happens, regardless of whether it's a loud noise that comes up and you get scared, it's an anxiety response, I'm leaving now. to get angry, because I jumped and got scared or should I say jumped and got scared going back to what I often find people struggling with their anxiety busy getting frustrated and stuck on the fact that I wouldn't have jumped, it was stupid. , that was an irrational reaction. It was what it was, it happened, your body reacted and if we think about it, there is a loud noise that you don't expect, startle, probably a fairly functional reaction, we just let it go, because then your knowledge makes you reason. to a higher level and say no, there is nothing to worry about about the car, or something like that and a

commitment

and action to live a life of value that doesn't run into this quickly down and so you face the first step of the agenda, the agenda of emotional control is gently and respectfully subverted.

I like that I'm going to put you down, but I'm going to do it with respect. We want to understand clients and we need to understand if we are going to use this technique in the future, is that depression management needs to be controlled. anxiety while feeling the same things is not going to happen, so we need a different approach. Clients identify difficult ways in which they try to get rid of or avoid unwanted private experiences, this is usually called creative hopelessness, which I don't really do. I don't want to create hopelessness, but highlight the fact that what you've done in the past hasn't worked, let's see what we might think might work and get you closer to the life you want questions what we ask them.

If it is resumed it will eventually reduce the symptoms and of course I listened to dr. Phil, in the back of my mind, it's going well, how is it working out for you? How much has this strategy cost you in terms of energy, vitality and relationships? Okay, you would have thought that for a while or whatever, but at what cost and what did it get you. closer to the life that you normally want, if someone is trying to reduce their symptoms and this has a lot of costs, it takes them further away from the life that they want because what they say are costs, they are commitments and commitments are generally things that we exchange, things What you want for other things that are on the agenda is correct, so we can see that you are trying to control your addiction to depression and anxiety, no matter what it is, you don't work here, it's okay to try something else, then try it this way. control is not control, the problem is not the solution and they will look at you like you have three heads and that's okay, yes, I'm okay with clean discomfort when emotions and reactions are accepted and that leads to a natural level of physical discomfort and emotional and thinking about getting a shot, you know I'm a big sissy, if it's about getting a shot, if I go to the doctor with clean discomfort, I'm fine, finish it with the nurse. stab me, I want to finish the butter, I'm afraid, oh, but no, no, I pedal, I'm not going to sleep well the night before, I'm afraid, I'm going to sit in the doctor's office and say, oh, this just hurts now and my shoulders are going to hurt for the next three days, four separate, I walk in there and as soon as she, the alcohol is on my arm, even if I'm not trying to do it, I'm trying to control it, I reach out. up, which means that not only does it hurt more, but it is a bruise and a cascade of effects, the same problem with emotions if we start fighting with our fear or with our depression, and if we start losing, we can get angry because we cannot control our fear or depression, and then we start to feel helpless and all these negative emotions only aggravate the dirty discomfort of others as soon as we start fighting with that emotion, fight change is what they call it and action.

It's on and it says, "Okay, done," the discomfort is going to escalate quickly, the fight switch is like an emotional amplifier, turn it on and then not only do we have anxiety, but we also have anger about our anxiety, anxiety about our anger. , depression for our depression. or our fault or all of the above, some people are very talented and can like every negative emotion at the same time, it's not necessarily a beneficial talent, but I know people that you know basically went through your behavioral analysis and you identified. who end up feeling all those feelings as a result of the initial negative feeling, so the six basic principles prevent the emotional control agenda from being undermined once people realize that trying to control it is not going to work, so we present the six basic principles of action to help clients develop psychological flexibility.

We all like the spread of flexibility, just as it sounds. Let's get a little fuzzy right now. Acceptance is fine, I'm going to accept that it is contact with the present moment that observing myself reminds me of my committed values ​​and actions, so let's look at the cognitive distribution of learning to think by seeing Images and memories as pieces of language rather than something dangerous. It's a memory, it's a thought. He can't hurt me now. I can choose to hold it in, I can choose to magnify it, or I can choose to just let it in and out.

Cognitive diffusion means taking a step back and realizing that thoughts are just momentary private subjective events, which means they are not objective truth. what happened but what you remember is your subjective version of what happened if you were afraid if you were depressed think about a race there are five runners in a race, one person wins and four people lose the person who won is like a score, you They remember the event as very positive, the four people who lose one person say hmm. I need to speed up my work, another person tells me I'd better get off the block, the third person identifies something else they can work on, and the fourth person says I'm a total failure. but everyone had different subjective interpretations and subjective memories of that event, so a simple exercise that emerged from some of the lectures, think of a negative self-judgment that takes the form of I am X I am stupid I am lazy Of course I am.

We know we are going to think about negative things.because our clients don't usually come to us and say, "I'm great, believe it as much as you can," and we haveTalking about this before, how it affects you when you repeatedly tell yourself that now some of you probably remember Stuart Smalley, they look at each other in the mirror and they leave. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and that's it, people like me, but anyway, when people have a negative thought, they start to embody it, they take on the negative thought and it affects them mentally, it affects them.

Emotionally, if you keep telling yourself you're stupid, how does this work to make you happier, how does this work to make you less anxious, then turn it around or add the phrase I think I have an idea that I'm stupid, mind you. What happens when you add the clause before or inside the sentence? It's been a while since the English started noticing guilt from a distance of thought and also, as I talked about before, they don't talk about themselves anymore, it's not this stable global internal thing they talk about, no, it's not them. X, is a thought that tells you your Mind treats mind, it's an external event, almost like a separate person, my mind does it, I don't have to do it. interpret it that way.

I don't necessarily have to accept it or reject it. I can only observe what my mind does and be awake. I think that helps people learn that thoughts don't exist, it's possible to think the thought as a and do get over it and get over it anyway, absolutely thoughts are not causes, they are just interpretations or our mind's best guess about what will happen. Another technique is who is in control here, treat negative thoughts like bullies if the person constantly has negative thoughts to tell. Telling them that they are stupid, it's not good, it will never help if the person is treated like a bully and told: I don't have to listen to you or some kind of radical acceptance approach.

Here this negative thought comes into my head. I'm stupid okay you're right so what are you going to do about it instead of discussing it instead of trying to contradict it instead of posting it here? They say okay, maybe there is something in what you say, how can I fix it, what can I do about it that will bring me closer to my values ​​and an AC T? We always want to have that clause at the end that brings me closer to my values. Acceptance means leaving space for unpleasant feelings, sensations, impulses. and other private experiences, we don't have to let them settle there, but we have to sit, understand or accept the fact that they will come and then leave politely or as if they know an unwanted family member who is coming. stay the night and then move on, you know, and just don't let them unpack and stay there for a while.

We want to allow them to come and go without having to fight them to run away from them or give them undue attention, so let's get back to that. family member, you have Uncle Bob and he has the worst kiss in the house and one day he shows up at your door and says, "Hey, I was passing through town and I thought I'd spend the night with you and you're great, so that Could you fight with Uncle Bob and tell him no, you really can't? He said, oh, but why do you use so much energy trying to theoretically and tactfully tell him no and he doesn't hear about it or make the room anyone loves or Everybody loves?

The thing about Raymond and hiding under the door when you see him coming like everyone ducks down, turns off the lights, that's not the best reaction either and it takes a lot of energy or giving him undue attention and getting really angry because Bob he had the audacity to show up at your door probably won't do any good, so you can let him come and go without fighting it. Having to act angry means he has to ruin the rest of the evening not necessarily what you can do to disengage your thoughts from your feelings identifying the problem when we're struggling with an internal experience that's distracting and derailing us so much if we're debating about something and we're, you know, going back and forth constantly and you know it's been scary before but we know we have to do it, oh my gosh, I don't want to do it going to a meeting with Uncle Bob maybe you don't want to go because you know he'll get drunk and be loud and obnoxious.

You can fear it and fight it, think about it and persist in it, but that uses a lot of energy, so it comes back to the question of what cost you can explore the effects of avoidance and how it has worked in your life. You know, if you've tried to stop Uncle Bob from answering his phone calls, you know we saw that it didn't work. He just showed up at the door anyway, so maybe we should find a different way to approach it, define the problem, identify what the fight is against and the barriers to moving in the direction of those goals. military and he struggles a lot with feeling good and self-efficacy and everything he's used to the military lifestyle, he's used to the camaraderie and it's scary to have to take on a whole new life now, so he's fighting this anxiety and fear and everything that is keeping it trapped so that in a CT scan in acceptance we would consider defining the problem, what is it that terrifies you?

Let's list all those things and start identifying the barriers to moving in the direction of those goals. I'm not telling you you have no right to be terrified you are what you are however I don't want you to unpack and stay there and the serenity prayer changes what we can accept what we can't and the wisdom to know the difference too often people try change the immutable like other people or the weather or you know a lot of things that we have no control over so some things Facebook for example sometimes you just have to turn on Facebook. um, thinking about Uncle Bob, you know you have I've known Uncle Bob for over 30 years and he still hasn't changed so trying to change him now probably won't work because he's happy the way he is so we can keep trying to change him, which which won't work. or accept the fact that he's just Uncle Bob.

I hope no one has an Uncle Bob. If you're sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Contact with the present moment, bringing full awareness of your experience here and now with openness, interest and receptivity. Go ahead and participate fully in whatever you are doing. When you're doing it, focus on how I feel. I mean, while he's sitting in his chair right now. How I feel? What am I thinking at? You know, maybe your time is wandering because you're like, I had an Uncle Bob like that or maybe you have a patient in 18 minutes and you're trying to figure out what do I have to do with that patient, in theory it would be contact with the patient. present moment. stay focused here and now and try to identify things that relate to this presentation, you know, think about clients you've worked with or think about how you could use this in future sessions today, even if you can't be completely on the same page. with my voice Not everyone is a conservative student.

I understand that there is no problem. Focus on the physical sensations you are experiencing. You know, you see me sitting in the chair and I'm a very active conversationalist, but I also move around in my chair a lot. that way the physical sensations can be: are you HOT? Are you cold? Is your leg going to sleep? relax or our neck and shoulders describe the environment smell temperature colors objects people sounds etc challenge yourself to take a break every hour or every two hours you know that not everyone has the luxury of having an hour to do it and review them and just bring full awareness of the here and now for a week every waking hour of the day for a week practice getting in touch with the present moment see what happens, it may not have any effect but I suppose you can I also do this through from a simple I see, hear and smell white and it reminds me every time I smell pine-sol, it reminds me of my grandmother's house, so it is a pleasant memory for me when I smell it that triggers happy sensations and happy neurochemicals and happy happy happy so guess what I clean my house with, ha, the observing self, yes, I told you, I love this little fly that accesses a continuum of consciousness that is immutable, always present and impervious to harm, have you ever tried to catch a fly?

I'm not good. By having flies, the flies in my house are immune to harm and they just sit on the wall and laugh at me, so from this perspective, yes, I have some paranoid delusions, but we are moving forward from this perspective, it is possible to experience it directly . that you are not your thoughts, feelings, memories, impulses, sensations, images, roles or physical body, so if you imagine yourself as the fly on the wall, you can look at that person of yours and say: why is he doing that? o that's crazy o ask o Having a good day today, these phenomena are constantly changing and our peripheral aspects of you, but they are not the essence of who you are, so this fly sees you peripheral, this fly only looks at you and sees you act or react the way you think. about if you get a new dog and especially an older dog, a rescue dog and they have some behaviors and you're wondering where that's coming from contextual what's going on what got them in the past but the dog is also sitting there looking you go are you sure What do you want to do that about?

So, value clarifying what is most important deep in your heart and some people hate that phrase, but in the end you know what is closest and dearest to you, what kind of person. Do you want to be what is important and meaningful to you and what you want to represent in this life now? Any of those could be a full essay and you could spend it. You could ask a client to do one every week for four weeks to help. he or she begins to identify his or her values. Steven Hayes has a whole series of books that walk you through these six steps, there are six books and they help you help clients more effectively implement the six components of a CT, but clarify that he has a whole book .

Obviously, it's not just four points, there are many different ways to help clients clarify their values ​​compared to what they told us they should think or feel a lack of values ​​or a confusion of goals with Values ​​can underline the capacity underlying the inability to be psychologically flexible. So if you confuse a goal with value. I want to be rich. That is not a value. What is your value? That is a goal. Why do you want to be rich? Because? Do you value money? I'm talking about the next step in the Law process is choosing a direction and establishing the will to identify motivating values ​​in which direction I want to go and again how I get there.

Make me get closer to where I want. be and who I want to be with and establish the will to help regain control of life, not necessarily just to control thoughts and feelings, so I am going to take control of my life and I am going to understand that there will be obstacles in the way. path but I will also understand that I will also be able to feel the good things because I am in contact with the present moment that is correct, committed action, establishing goals guided by your values ​​and taking effective actions. to achieve them sometimes this is called purposeful action, everything you do has a purpose and that purpose is to get you closer to where you want to go, not to set you back and I told you that we would end with the matrix of acts and that is completely different. book, there are activities on psychological flexibility that work with this, but to try to put it all in context and tie it with a little practical bow on top, you have your behaviors and your $0.05 experiencing what is observable to others when you enter a room, what do others see?

Others see you. The others see the other people in the restaurant. Others see the expressions on your faces. Others can feel the temperature of the room, but they don't know what's going on inside your head. I don't know what you are thinking, at the bottom are your thoughts, emotions and internal experiences. Now this project or this activity is divided into four quadrants, so when you look to the left side you are moving away from your goals and values. So what do I do that moves me away from discomfort and how does this move me away from my goals or values?

So a lot of times clients come to me and tell me when I'm really stressed I have a few drinks, okay, that's what you do and we're not judging, we're not doing anything, we just write it down, so we put a few drinks up here, What am I thinking or experiencing emotionally right now that is taking me away from my goals are often fear, depression, anxiety, that's why they are here, so take that dysphoria, I'm just going to generalize it and when you feel it, you drink , then the person gets stuck on this left side of the quadrant because once they drink, they just escalate, they haven't fixed anything, they just escaped for a while, then they recover and they're still dysphoric,so we move here and say.

Well, what is moving me towards my goals? Well, first I have to know what my goals are, so who is important to me? What am I?thinking or experiencing emotionally that is moving me toward my goals or values ​​and things these are things like achievements success happiness observable things things that other people can see that are moving you toward your goals and values ​​what could I do to move toward who and what? It's important to me and what am I doing now that's moving me towards my goals or values, so when something happens, people are in a bad relationship and they decide to break up and it's unbearable and they're just, you know, They're in agony over the loss. of this relationship, so they're down here, they feel something negative and they want to escape, but then we say okay, that's definitely something they could do, however, does escaping move them more toward their goals and values? moving towards where you want to be the answer is probably no, so we say, okay, what could you do to help you move towards that?

Or maybe they're thinking about getting back into the relationship, that's one of their options if they're not going to escape, maybe they just need to suck it up and get back into the relationship, then we say okay, that'll get you towards your goals of being happy and successful and everything that you have identified or, logically, is going to move you. Far from it, I mean this is all very, I don't want to say clinical, but it's very objective, encouraging people to keep that in mind every time they do something or have to make a decision or have a thought, if they have a thought.

That says you are stupid, what you need to ask yourself is that internal dialogue that will take me towards my goals or is it the internal dialogue that will hold me back or, worse yet, take me further away from where I want to be. In a few months, Act's goal is to create a rich and meaningful life, while accepting that pain inevitably accompanies it. It just so happens that part of living a rich and meaningful life is being mindful and in the present moment most of the time I am actually We are not going to remain completely grounded and present 24/7/365. of the year because we get stuck and at work we get caught up in things, but if we can encourage ourselves to do it several times a day, then we will be more aware. of where we are, how we are and how we feel, destructive normality is the psychological process of a normal human mind that can be seen as destructive and creates psychological suffering, people start to feel helpless and are trying to get rid of it. about something that is normal you feel anxiety which is a normal feeling which is a normal reaction I totally understand why you feel that right now what do we do about it?

Actions designed to avoid the experience in the present are not going to be helpful, we want to help people identify and accept therapeutic interventions focus on two main processes developed develop acceptance of unwanted private experiences that are outside personal control so that the automatic thought that automatic feeling happened now there is no need to punish yourself for that it happened let it go if you pay attention to it it is like a stray dog ​​if you pay attention to it it will keep coming back believe me I have more than one stray dog ​​that comes to my house , anyway, and I promise to live a worthwhile life once you do.

If you have decided to try to stop controlling the things you can't control, then you can use all that energy to make decisions and take steps to move towards where you want to go, how great is that if you stop being stressed about being stressed. or worried about being angry, you have a lot more energy to do what you want to do, this also applies to holding on to resentments, you know, we talk about people who use a lot of energy to feed grudges and resentments, that feeling, whatever that feeling is , it's something they can choose to let go of, you don't have to keep feeling it, you can choose what to do with it, confronting the gym schedule to eliminate stress, you're not going to eliminate it, that's going to happen, so explore the sources of distress.

Explore previous attempts to eliminate distress and that effectiveness. How did it work for you in the short term? It may have worked very well. How did it work for you in the long run? Regarding what the cost was and how it impacted the other areas of your life. and finally, the six basic principles of the Law are diffusion, separation of self from experience, acceptance which is contact with the present moment through mindfulness, observation of the self as a fly in the air. -Identification of the values ​​of the wall and then choosing the committed action.