A Weirdo Trolled Ricky Gervais But Truly Missed the Point | Netflix Is A JokeJul 03, 2022
There was some big news last year, right, it was a terrible train accident. Now, the train accident had happened a year before, and there was a big investigation. And the results of the investigation were published on this day, so there was an expert on the news. And he was saying, "Well, we've looked at everything and we've decided that the speed of the trains on this particular line was a contributing factor to the accident, so we're going to slow it down a bit. And statistically speaking, this shouldn't be." never happen again." That should have been the end.
But the guy said, "Well, we went out and asked the general public what they thought." So there were three banal vox pops. The first one said: "Well, I already pay £960 a year, so I'm not happy." The next one said, "Well, it takes me 45 minutes each way, so that's not good enough." And the last one said, "Well, I always say it's better to be late for work than dead." Why is that on the news? And when is that applicable in any situation? Are you okay, Ted? You arrive early. Ted? Oh no Ted! We've been through this. Remember how I said I'd rather you be late than dead?
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a weirdo trolled ricky gervais but truly missed the point netflix is a joke...
But... the great enemy is stupidity... right? I want to share with you the stupidest tweet I've ever received I think. Now, it's true that when I first got on Twitter, I pushed my schedule a bit. I was a declared atheist. Not because I thought it would change someone's opinions. I thought it was important to tell the other side. Know? There are still 13 countries where people are executed just for being an atheist. Intimidated people. And I just wanted to say, "It's okay to be an atheist. It's okay to believe in God and it's okay not to." That's all he was saying, really.
And then I realized that I didn't even have to tweet about religion or atheism. I could just tweet a fact, and it pissed off the right people. Good? He tweeted things like "Happy birthday Earth. Today is four
pointsix billion years old." And someone would always say, "Oh, we know what you're doing. We know what you're doing." So this is a tweet I got from someone after one of those I guess. And…it was all caps, which I was excited about…That's the sign of Twitter madness. Mixed with anger It's cool, right? And I looked at his profile.
And sure enough, he is a gentleman from Texas. He is a fundamentalist and creationist Christian. Which is right! He loves God. He loves God and... fetuses, mostly. He loves the fetus from conception to when it turns out he's gay, and then he... Right, so he remembers everything is in all caps. He is yelling at me. The best tweet of all time. "YOUR SCIENCE--" My science, right? Science, by the way, is written S-C-I-E-N-T-S . It's alright, isn't it? I mean... He obviously heard the word, made an assumption... He never saw it written down, because it's not in the Bible.
So he's... "YOUR SCIENTISTS WANTED TO HELP HIM... Well, he will. He's helping him... to send this little message to a satellite and to me. "YOUR SCIENTISTS WON'T HELP YOU WHEN SATAN..." By Of course he believes in Satan. Why not? He believes that God made the universe in six days. You're not going to say, "Do you believe in Satan?" And he's going to say, "A bit of an exaggeration." Why? Doesn't God kill Satan? That's…what I would ask him. If I were wrong and I ran into God, and I'd say, “Oh, you do exist.” He'd say, “Yes.” I'd say, “Well, in which case?
I've got some damn questions, buddy. In fact, the first would be: "Why did you make chocolate kill dogs? What-" Mental, right? Also, if you hate homosexuality so much, why did you put the male G-spot on your ass? What's wrong with you? Then he would say, "Why don't you kill Satan?" And he'd say, "What?" I was like, "Why don't you kill Satan? If he does all the bad things and you do all the good things, yeah, and you want good things, okay? I mean, you want--" "Yeah, yeah. " "And you could kill him, right? If you wanted to?
Yeah, because you can do anything, easy." "Yeah". "Why don't you kill him then?" "Because... Shut up." BRITISH ASS". And he's right. Because if I die and find myself in hell, being raped by Satan... Science has pretty much let me down. But it's this last line that it just throws away. The parting line, makes this the best tweet I've ever received: "YOUR SCIENTISTS WON'T HELP YOU WHEN SATAN IS RAPEING YOUR BRITISH ASS. I'LL BE LAUGHING." So... he's there too! He's... So, he's a fundamentalist... Christian, who has lived his life according to the Old and New Testaments. He dies, he wakes up in Hell, right?
Which must be off the charts on the scale of emotional trauma... "Oh my God, I'm in Hell! Oh my God, why have you forsaken me? I want to say that hell is the worst because it is for eternity! I'm going to be tortured for eternity!" He watches me get raped and goes, "Ha ha ha!" Well, he's suddenly over it, right? His day suddenly got a little brighter. Right? ?Next, right? So I'm being raped, right, by the Devil, right? And he's just there. 'Fucking atheist scum.' And I'm like that. 'Yeah, whatever.' I assume that happens all eternity. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." Like this.
I could say, "Watch your hooves on my testicles." And he'd say, "Why are they so distended? Brad Pitt!" You know what I mean? I'm sorry, are we talking or raping here? Can we... So he says, "Fucking atheist." He's probably bored. "Damn atheists. Every damn day." TRUE? And his little gargoyle shows up and says, "Satan?" And he goes, "What?" And I'm like, "Yeah? What?" And he says, "Here's a fundamentalist Christian." "Fuck this!" It would be on him like a ton of bricks, wouldn't it?
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