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A sale is a love affair: Jack Vincent at TEDxLugano

Jun 07, 2021
Sally met Harry at a networking event and Harry made a very good first impression, but didn't he? Everything Sally had was new in town; she had accepted a job as director of marketing communications at an international company; Her first month or two were very manic and very busy. and at one point he knew he had to go out and meet people in the community, so he arrived at the networking event a little late and everyone was already talking and his nerves were a little high, so he bought some time by hanging He lifted his coat , then she went to the bar and had a glass of chardonnay and when she turned around she was alone in a room full of people who were already talking.
a sale is a love affair jack vincent at tedxlugano
Harry saw her and invited her to her group and introduced her to everyone. and they began a very good conversation for about 10 minutes, at which point Harry invited another person into the group and introduced him to Sally, then moved on to another group and started circulating. Sally kept her eye on Harry all night and she was actually hoping that Harry would return before the end of the night and sure enough, when the crowd started to thin out, Harry came back to her and said, you know, I've been thinking. on something we were talking about, what do you think of a cup of coffee near your office on Thursday afternoon and Sally said how about a glass of wine in the city on Thursday night?
a sale is a love affair jack vincent at tedxlugano

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a sale is a love affair jack vincent at tedxlugano...

Well, the wine date went very well and in fact, when it was over they were on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant and the last thing that happened was Sally touched Harry's elbow and said, I have a really good feeling about this and she came out. rushing to catch her train to the suburbs with her husband and children. No, this was not the beginning of a romantic adventure, this was the beginning. of a


and Harry had done everything right Harry was selling with


and the main fundamentals of a


is trust and he builds it by sparking interest and then involving Sally in something that she felt needed


in business is not a concept new Kevin Roberts, CEO of Sachi and Sachi worldwide, wrote a book called Love Marks and in it he said that when a brand is so powerful that it creates an emotional connection in our hearts, that's a love Mark, Apple is a love Mark for many people, users.
a sale is a love affair jack vincent at tedxlugano
Apple insiders not only love the brand they spread the love, in fact some people don't like Apple but that's fine for Apple, just look at their sales and see the strength of their brand. Getting people to love you is not a dishonest goal in business. fall in love with me the problem is that when you pick me up you complain you dine me and sleep with me you will call me later in sales it is even more face to face it is even more interpersonal than the resonance of the brand in people's hearts it is behavioral it is mono Amano It's face to face and customers know you want them to love you, but what they really want is for you to love them because love is part of building trust and trust is the most important element in a sale.
a sale is a love affair jack vincent at tedxlugano
The idea of ​​a sale. As a love story, it actually happened at a sales training workshop I was leading and the goal of a trainer is not only to provide new skills to participants, but also to incorporate them for them to use later. One of those concepts is to make it memorable. that they use it right after, so in the workshop, very experienced sales people and we were trying to build the concept that you are the trusted advisor and we were working on an exercise of what to do when the client starts to plateau when they are not. clearly communicate what you do and the solution that the participants came to was: you need to do the research, you need to ask those difficult questions.
I feel like something isn't working here. Is there something I should know? I can help? Are you facing any problem? Internal obstacles What do I need to know to help you now? My mom said that she should have gone to drama school and that she should have been an actor. Well, because I always go to these construction sites and in the workshop afterwards I put on my best American accent. and I said well it's like love you're not talking to me baby we're not communicating baby I gotta know something's wrong talk to me baby tell me what's going on and that got a lot of laughs from the crowd and what happened was actually , became our joke for the rest of the two-day workshop, we always came back to the link between love, finding love and finding clients and maintaining love and customer service, to the point that the women in the group also I liked it and a saleswoman actually at one point said that when we were talking about closing the deal she said hey, I don't have the patience for that, I say honey, we've danced, we've had a few drinks, you come back to my house or not, that's how it was I understood. and after that the idea stuck in my head and I couldn't get it out of my head now, conversely, the sales tools really work in Romance and some people say, oh, that's rude, that's so salesy, using sales skills. sales to find romance, to which I say.
What's rude about arousing interest? Asking questions listening to solve problems well together that's what good salespeople do and I think that's what good partners also do and in fact it happened, the idea for the book happened in a period of my life when I was divorced and yeah, I was on the dating market, but it's not just about me because there's a lot of people that get divorced and there's a lot of people on the dating market and we're like, especially at my age, You're a great family coach and you get training, and what I discovered was that all of these things really work in Romance 2.
The parallel between finding love is similar to a complex sale and we know how complex relationships are and maintaining love is like customer service. Now, at my age and before, like 10 years ago, men hit a wall at some point and say, oh my God, if they lose a job, they lose a family member, something turns them on and they say what's the purpose? of my life, what am I doing here? Where I go? Women tend to make these small corrections as they go along. Men have this thing called a midlife crisis that we don't like to talk about and it's like the midlife crisis of my mom and dad's generation, so if someone tells me about it. the pause in the pause about the midlife crisis no please it's not okay it's okay but it's something that happens to all of us and about 10 years ago I hit that wall and I did a lot of searching and I got into a lot of spirituality. and eastern philosophy and stuff, and one of the first concepts when you do spirituality is to work on yourself, it's not just about meditating and saying "wow, what a good feeling", it's about there are some things that I need work to forgive myself before I can truly learn to forgive others self love and the heart feeds itself first in a healthy relationship the heart not only distributes blood to the rest of the body it needs blood it is a muscle it is an organ that needs blood the brain doesn't care if the heart takes its commission up front because if the heart had to wait 120 days for the bill to be paid everything would die and the brain knows that the liver knows that the muscles know that the heart is fed yourself first, so in a healthy relationship take care of yourself.
I work with a lot of people who say, especially entrepreneurs and startups, I'm not comfortable taking money from people, but they want to run their business with all this love and romance training. I'm a pervert Me Me but but I want a relationship yes I want sex but I want it wrapped in a human relationship there is nothing wrong with that you are complete you are good there is nothing wrong with trying to build businesses Partnerships in which both parties add value the each other yes, you need money to run your new company, but you are a partner in a business relationship, you are providing value, you help the client discover that you are good, you are completely in love with yourself, okay, clients.
I respect that, as much as they are romantic partners, the New York Times published an article about 10 years ago, about five years ago, called "I" marriage is a happy marriage. Strong partnerships require strong partners, baby, I love you and one of the things I love about you is that you let me be me, that's a strong relationship that's not a toxic relationship and that's where trust comes from, love breeds trust. Shakespeare was right and I think if I were a marketing director today it would be called your unique selling point, your USP, your Competitive Advantage David data is a writer on masculinity, spirituality, sex and relationships.
David data writes things about how to be complete with yourself and how to live happily as a couple and get the things you need. One of the conclusions I receive from David. D's writings are that your mission is important, your purpose in life is important, your relationship should support and not get in the way of that, because if so, you will regret it later and the relationship will become toxic. Customers feel the same way now. in the times when the sailors went to sea and the city went down to the port and the women said don't go, don't go, you can die in the ocean and perish those sailors who said: I have to defend the country or I have to change the economy to bring business to our community is my mission I have to go they knew they can die in war they can crash in a storm they can get drunk and vomit overboard and fall into the water, but those who made it home were loved by the community and for their wives and those who stayed were peeling potatoes with yourself be true and it will follow as the light follows the darkness that you will not be false with any other now early in a sale it is your business to take my breath away, it is very emotional at first of a sale, emotions are sold after that, things get complicated and become more rational, but at the beginning of the sale there has to be something for me, wow, I think we need these people, wow, and it's like a love story at the beginning of a sale emotions are only provoked through simplicity the lion comes out of the bush and looks at you and says lunch you know you have a problem that you are not thinking about we should refinance the house you have one thing and that is very compelling in a sale, as rational as a business can be in a sale, look for something that inspires them.
Simplicity, you may lose it later in the deal, but if you don't catch them early, you won't progress anyway. it's like a relationship Take My Breath Away there was something about the way she looked at me at the school concert and then I found out she was divorced Take My Breath Away you're opening a relationship you're not closing a sale who has loved who Hasn't loved Shakespeare again at first sight. Now the purpose of opening is to get that emotional connection, but then you earn the right to ask questions. Asking good questions and listening is one of the most underrated trust builders there can be at different stages of the sale.
You should ask different questions, but listening builds trust. How do you do this by asking good questions that raise concerns? Handling objections and building solutions together. They say that in relationships women need to be listened to. Men need to feel important. And in business, everyone. You want them to understand listening is the most underrated skill now closing a deal is easy if everything has gone well. I was once working with a media company in London and at the beginning of our assignment we were receiving information from the CEO and the CMO, the boss. marketing officer and you could feel the testosterone in the room when they said and they lowered their voice and said we need closers, our salespeople need to close and when we started talking to the salespeople we went back to the CEO and the CMO two weeks later and he said his people is for sale, they are closers, they know how to ask for the deal, the problem is that the things that happen earlier in the deal are not satisfactory and by asking and pushing too hard to get the deal, arrogance kills trust, the buyer also wants feel in control and you're saying: do you want it green or red?
How many should we put in if they are not ready? It's not going to happen. I will never forget my last phrase which was the yin-yang, my most memorable clo. What I ever did in a sale was this, that was it, the buyer was showing all the signs, you could see the wheels turning body language and all the signs were yes, there was nothing else I could say to make that person did it. I bought it and she looked at me and said Jack, let's do this. I imagine they're going to send me a contract hint as a next step now if any of you have seen the movie Hitch the Love Doctor that Will Smith is training in. some pretty pathetic guys when it comes to managing relationships at one point he says you don't ask a woman if you can kiss her just kiss her and the guy said really that's it and he says it's a little more subtle than moving the 90% of the way she puts you in a position to be kissed but let her lean in 10% because she also wants to feel in control the best salespeople in any industry are loved by their clients they have self-love they are confident they give love, they do good you ask, listen and build solutions together, doesn't that also work in Romance?
It's about trust TR and it's about understanding. Harry did everything right that night, he did everything right at the wine bar and he really did it. everything was fine when Sally introduced him tohis managers he also found love this way we know that the more you give the more you receive in romance and in sales poets have written about it composers sing about it artists of all kinds this is the human condition that love conquers all

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