20 Minutes for the NEXT 20 Years of Your LIFE | Oprah WinfreyJan 25, 2022
Practicing gratitude is my most important
lifepractice, I have to say and I know that with the arrival of Thanksgiving, many people think about being grateful. There's a lot to talk about about Thanksgiving and blessings, but that's like going to church only on Christmas and Easter. counts but it is not consistent because for me gratitude is something that is necessary and must be practiced every day because making space to appreciate what you have opens you up for a happier and more fulfilling existence I guarantee it while I ensure that those blessings continue to flow this is The truth is a law what you focus on in
lifeexpands so focusing on what you are grateful for increases positive vibes and feelings of joy only one good feeling builds on another good feeling and another and if you actively appreciate everything you have in life no matter how small what you notice is you end up having more and when you focus on what you don't have you never have enough so being grateful that i have learned allows us to fill in the cracks and gaps between what we want and what we already have with positivity so that we can pave the way for grace to appear and lead us to an even better life so how do you do gratitude? d? a habit for me the first thing i do in the morning is to read some kind of spiritual enlightenment that allows me to start the day with a positive frame of mind that will only help generate even more positive energy and for me that is the daily thing. word which is based on christianity or book of psalms also christian book of awakening by mark nepo its just spiritual no religion with a daily meditation and rumi or mary oliver there is something called sake bowl which i love too its a sufi teaching spiritual that you can download for free in
yourinbox but the best thing I've ever done is keep a gratitude journal so I started one over 20
yearsago and every day for
yearsnow I write down five things I'm grateful for I think that you have to write put them down because there is power power power in the written word and it can be anything big or small some days those things will be easy you know a chat with a close friend or a walk in the autumn chris air than a loved one cook you dinner or bring you a cup of tea some days it can be hard to even think about something and that's completely normal and when things don't come to mind you easily go back to your r out breath because if you breathe you should be thankful that you have that and just open your eyes in the morning and have that breath is a gift but everyday i constantly write down five things that i am thankful for sometimes it is more than five but if not I can get to five, just go, breathe, breathe, gratitude is a posture of your heart, a choice, and a privilege, so I hope you make the decision to start a daily gratitude practice if you haven't already.
I've been saying it for years because this I know. sure sure appreciating noticing the deligh The things that appear in your life will ensure that more goodness comes to you after here like no one has ever experienced. I think the best thing we can do collectively is take care of our individual cells now. I know that it may sound oversimplified and even selfish. for some people but this is what i know for sure you have to feed yourself with love and loving thoughts to appear stronger and more complete to give other people your love we hear a lot about self care these days but what does it really have Good intentions to me is about engaging in practices that fulfill you in every way, which means eating food that is enjoyable and nourishing, giving your body the gift of some form of movement every day, and surrounding yourself with people whose energy supports you. elevate this It's so important to also create space in your day or at least give yourself at least five
minutesof quiet time that alone time is so crucial when you can distance yourself from the voices. of the world so you can hear your own voice loud and clear that's why I've dedicated Sundays as my time to recalibrate and renew so sometimes it's just a simple walk in nature or just sitting in the backyard all That alone time helps me. refocus myself restock for whatever it is
nextweek and yet that presents itself for you that's what to do for you i love how glennon doyle put it in his book love warrior said i've met myself and that I'm going to care fiercely for her so I know we have to remind ourselves as women to continually make ourselves a priority because when you truly value yourself the world reflects that value back to you no one needs to be reminded of the importance of self care , although more than mothers, so we all know that in normal times, before there was a pandemic, mothers had a lot on their plate handling the needs of children, spouses, households and in-laws and that is why I have so much respect for people doing it right and now th The pandemic has taken its toll juggling increased child care demands, mental health ramifications and stress of the more than five million women's jobs that have been lost since february 2020. so we know that mothers carry a heavy load on their shoulders and that is just another indication that focusing on oneself is so important if there is someone whoever you need to forgive yourself you forgive and release the heavy load of resentment you have been carrying that is weighing you down you literally become lighter and things in your life begin to fall into place so as someone who has experienced childhood abuse, I know full well Well, the struggle to forgive the people in your life who have hurt you is real and painful, but know that this is not about forgiving whatever that person has done to you . mistreating you is about letting what they did affect the way you live your life now, Dr.
Joel Jampolsky told me this way years ago on the Oprah show it's a big aha aha moment that I've now accepted as law spiritual when he said to forgive is to give up hope that the past could have been different I repeat that to forgive is to give up hope that what could have happened a quarter of it in fact did not happen is to accept the reality of what happened and move on this truth has been instrumental in allowing me to live my best life it was transformative you have to realize that what could have been is not what is easy to hear i know and harder to do you have to sit through the pain to feel it is uncomfortable but when you can get up and really face that pain face to face and then let it flow through you, only then can you let it go and move out of the pain of your history into the possibility of the present.
I have carried this. iyan la vanzant's lesson with me for some time i remember years ago on the show she said that you can accept or reject the way other people treat you but until you heal the wounds of your past you will continue to bleed you can bandage the bleeding with food with the alcohol with drugs with work with cigarettes with sex she said but eventually it will seep in and stain your life you must find the strength to open the wounds put your hands inside pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past the memories and make peace with them so here is the formula accept what has happened forgive others forgive yourself accept the now that is the recipe to start healing and give up hope that the past could have been something different to what really happened helped to make you you my hope is that you find the courage to let go of all your grudges because what i do know for sure is that from or On the other side of forgiveness is freedom the freedom to live the life you were meant to be and the one you truly deserve there are so many feelings we have all experienced over the last year and a half as a collective so we are all in this together i know that we've heard that before a lot of people don't believe it, but we're all feeling the same things together, whether we agree with what we're feeling or not, and one of the abiding feelings I know of is the feeling of uncertainty of not Knowing for sure what's
nextso our lives have been shaken up and changed to say the least which has made many of us unsure of what's on the horizon when we'll be back in the office full time what it will require that, how long will we wear masks, how long will we be fighting for masks?
When will all this end? And it really is completely natural not to have all the answers, so one thing I do know for sure is that we all need to stop knowing that we are in total control. and be able to prepare to ride the waves of change as they come, but how do we do it? That anxiety arises when we live in the unpredictable nuances of the future. All if. Know? in yellow thank you very much and at the start of that test i was so anxious to learn to just focus on that day and not the multiple days ahead thats what really kept me sane so i think we all need to practice to feel more comfortable when entering. the unknown and when those uncertain and overwhelming feelings take over you, you need to make an effort to stay in the present moment and be still, breathe and tell yourself I am here now and in this moment everything is ok everything is ok I will be ok and there's nothing you can't handle so take some time to be quiet enough to listen to your inner gps, your true self and let the clamor of the world fade away, listen to the whispers as i like to say and then let that take you sometimes only the fear of the UN guides certainty can prevent us from taking the next step towards a breakthrough, but we cannot allow uncertainty to fester and transform into doubt;
I was there for you in the past, they are there for you now and they will be by your side as time goes by, so look at where you came from, how far you have traveled to get to who you are now. and you are still adapting, evolving into a better and better version of yourself. Hopefully that's what we're all trying to do. world right now massive mandates are changing across the country as vaccination rates are rising travel is coming back a return to work in the office may be in the foreseeable future for many of you and as we look to the next chapter after such long challenging arcades i think its time we all think about freshening up in a way that allows us to keep what matters most change what we are ready to let go and make room for the new in our world in our lives as well I don't know about you, but all these months away from the bustle of the world have changed me forever and I will always choose more carefully what should attract my attention and what not, because I have learned many things. it's not like that when we press that little update button on our computers or phones, it updates everything so fast and that simple, sometimes it's even automated so it doesn't even occur to you to think about it, although in real life, like we know it takes effort it takes time it takes patience so be kind to yourself during these days check in stay still until you can hear and feel the answers you need to move on and always feel blessed that we survived a pandemic and have another chance to do things go well in our daily lives and I would say that the best way to begin to find out who you are really meant to be is to ask the god of the universe to ask god how can I be used in service to myself first and how can I then use that service to serve the use your life to serve the world and you will discover that it also serves you one of the biggest mistakes people make onas is to think that they have to pay them a lot of money or even get paid something for the call that they are here to honor your vocation, whether they pay you for it or not, if they can pay you for it, that makes life exponentially better, but if you don't get paid, that's okay too because honoring the vocation fuels everything else you do in your life. going out of energy that is clouding your vision and holding you back is a life practice I learned a long time ago that has set me free in so many ways it is a fact that holding a grudge against someone who has wronged you or reliving painful situations in your head over and over alone and it weighs you down and prevents you from being who you need to be right now because you are still energetically holding on to the past the energy you put into constantly rewinding resentment why did they do that why did they say that To me, I didn't deserve to be treated that way .
All of that just keeps you stuck. It will never change what happened. Many people think that holding on to the things that made them weak will somehow magically change things, as I said in my message a couple of weeks ago about forgiveness. different and you should also let go of the idea that people would do what you could do anyway. This is a big question that I had to learn and relearn before I really understood it. Expecting people to do what you would do in a situation only leads to their disappointment it's not theirs they move on so letthat people are who they are and you accept it or you don't that keeps you trapped in a circumstance that actually costs you time costs your energy and I can guarantee you that many times the person on the other side of the bitterness that you cling to is not even there. thinking about you, in fact, she probably just moved on, she's certainly not obsessed with the way you think.
It's like letting go of any bad habit that just isn't serving her well-being. It is not an easy task to take the road to a more enlightened healthy existence. to this, how is this serving me? and really think about the answer, maybe it makes you feel validated, maybe it makes you feel fair or maybe taking on the pain is your way of acknowledging injustice so that even if it doesn't get corrected. at least it can't be forgotten then i ask you again ask yourself do you want to be right or do you want peace this was huge for me the unfortunate fact is having both may not be possible and also you may never get your moment of justice So why wait for me to choose PE? ace, what i know for sure is that in this world, time is progress and it is our most valuable commodity, you can never get it back, so staying in that cycle playing it over and over again in your aching head only amplifies your pain let it go exhale make room in your heart for something uplifting surround yourself with people who want the best for you you have the ability to change the dna of your spirit and control how you perceive life so why not lighten your load and let it go knowing when? you know better you do better we are ready to move on to what I think is another powerful lesson that I began to learn as a very young child being raised by my grandmother and then at six years old I was separated from my grandmother I moved to Milwaukee and suddenly I found myself in a foreign environment for me.
I remember walking into that new space and realizing that in many ways I was alone, which is a terrible feeling if you're six, but I've always had the deep understanding. g to myself that if anything was going to move forward in my life, i would have to be responsible for making that happen and i know that's true now and i can articulate it like you are responsible for your life and if you're sitting around waiting for someone to save you, fix you and even help you. what i know from doing 25 years and thousands and thousands of interviews on the
oprahshow no matter where you come from i have seen people walk out of the desert walk through the desert being born in the most dire circumstances no matter what your mom did if she did or had a doctorate or not d what matters is now this moment and your willingness to see this moment for what it is accept it forgive the past take responsibility and move on
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